


Speak!

by FairyLights101



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Abuse, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Muteness, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-01-12 00:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 128,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren doesn't exactly have the best home life, far from it in fact. A chance meeting with Levi, a mysterious young man who keeps his secrets close, is the one person who could take his world to a whole new level of chaos and wonder. Bonds are forged and feelings change, but will they be strong enough to face the challenges that lie in their future and the secrets in their pasts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silence

**Author's Note:**

> This deals a lot with child abuse, all or most of which is described. I'll put warnings at the beginnings of chapters to let you guys know something is going to happen, but just stay on your toes.  
> On that note, this chapter does contain abuse.

Eren trudged up the driveway to his house, moving slowly in the afternoon heat of the summer. The sun had already begun to set outside, dipping behind the westward horizon. The day was beautiful, with only a few small white clouds in the distance and a nice, consistent breeze blowing. Despite that all of the windows in his house had the curtains drawn across them, no lights emanating from behind the heavy curtains.

It looked unwelcoming despite its grand size and overall peaceful look, most of which was due to his father's position as head of the Shiganshina hospital and the work of the lawn and house service that kept their home looking nice respectively. He could remember when it had been welcoming, a place of joy and love. It had been a long time since he had felt either of those things within the walls of that house. Hatred was woven in every fiber, even the foundations, of the house.

Eren pulled his key ring from his pockets, twirling it around on his forefinger as he walked along the path through the neatly groomed array of rosebushes that had been planted on either side of the walkway leading up to the house. He moved up the stone stairs, only the wind making a sound as it rushed the limbs of the leaf-laden trees. Eren stopped in front of the door and stared at the white wood for a few moments before he stopped twirling the keys and inserted the key into the lock, turning it gently so that it wouldn't make too much noise.

Cool air rushed out and Eren slipped in and shut the door before any more could escape, allowing the blissfully cool air from within to envelope him. The house was silent except for the soft snores that reverberated through the silence. Green eyes darted around in the near-total darkness, only the glow of his phone and the light concealed behind the heavy curtains hanging in front of the windows illuminating his way as he shut the door behind him, only letting the knob ease back into place when the door was completely shut.

He turned around and held the light towards the ground, making his way to the steps, each step quiet and precise. Eren set his foot on the first step. The first three steps were the safe zones and could be stepped on at any spot without danger of creaking. The fourth however was a death trap in waiting, with the entirety of it prone to screeching out at the most inopportune of times, or in general really. It was better to skip the fourth step entirely rather than risk finding a place to bear his weight without a sound.

He eased his way up the familiar path with care, growing more confident with every step that carried him closer to the top of the staircase. By the sixth step he was feeling confident, too confident. His foot eased onto the board of the seventh step and it groaned beneath his foot.

The sound was light but it still brought his heart lurching to a halt. His heart hammered away in his chest, deafening him and threatening to beat its way from the confines of his ribcage. The bitter taste of fear tainted his mouth and it grew dry, making it nearly impossible to swallow. The snores emanating from a few feet away failed to falter.  _Note to self: be wary of the seventh step from now on._

He pulled his foot away and edged it further along till he found a spot that could bear his weight before he ascended to the eighth and final step. He reached the top of the staircase and spared a second to glance to his right.

The living room was dark except for the flickering glow of the muted television and of the light that seeped through the heavy curtains in any cracks available. He could see his father sprawled out in one of the brown armchairs, a half-empty beer bottle clutched in one hand, three or four more either lying on their sides or sitting upright next to the chair. His father shifted slightly and another snore passed through his slack jaws. Eren grimaced as he gazed at the prone figure of his father, trying to beat back the familiar flood of guilt and sadness that threatened to overwhelm.

He stared for a few moments more before he jerked his head away, tearing his eyes from the prone figure of his father and casting them towards the dark hallway to his left. Eren walked stealthily down the hallway, each step delicate and soft. One hand groped at the air blindly, attempting to keep him from slamming into anything that might be littering the hallway, while the other raked along the wall. He passed the first two doors on his right before entering the third.

Eren eased the door shut and threw himself onto his bed face-first with a huff. He let his eyes slip shut, his breaths evening out and calming down now that he was in the safety of his room. His ass began to vibrate, or to be more precise, the cellphone tucked in his pocket was vibrating incessantly, demanding immediate attention. Eren pulled the phone from his pocket and slid it open. He opened the message, his eyes scanning the contents.

 **From: Armin Arlert:  
Did you make it home alright? BTW Grandpa is asking if you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night. We're making curry!  
Received: 8:45 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

A smile tugged at the corners of Eren's lips and he began to type out a response, his fingers flying across the keyboard. The muted click as each button depressed filled the silence in his room till he finished the message and read over his message one last time before sending it.

 **To: Armin Arlert:  
Of course Armin… what, did you think I was trapped in the back of some filthy alleyway surrounded by a bunch of strangers? Honestly, have a little more faith in me -_- I'd love to come to dinner but I'd have to ask my father first. I'll ask him in the morning when he wakes up.  
Sent: 8:48 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

He tapped the Send button and set the phone back down on his bed. Eren rolled over onto his back so he could stare at the ceiling, whitewashed with a single light hanging over his head. Ever since he had peeled the glow-in-the-dark stickers of the stars and planets from his ceiling it had seemed so much duller, even after eight or so years. It looked so blank and dull nowadays. His phone began to vibrate again and Eren twisted his arm behind his head, scrabbling for the phone for a few moments before he found it.

 **From: Armin Arlert:  
No, but you do have a habit of wandering off and doing other stupid things :P I hope your dad is cool with you coming~~  
Received 8:51 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **To: Armin Arlert:  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I do… But that's only because wandering around is so fun sometimes! Yeah, I hope he does too.  
Sent: 8:55 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **From: Armin Arlert:  
Only you… crazy child. Oh my god, have you heard that song by Lana Del Ray? It's called 'Summertime Sadness' and it is sooooo good! You must listen, pronto!  
Received: 9:00 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **To: Armin Arlert:  
Of course I'm crazy, crazy is the best XD no, I haven't heard of that song. Or of Del Ray for that matter… Don't even act surprised about it. I'll listen in a few minutes. I don't really feel like moving; the bed is too damn comfy.  
Sent: 9:04 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **From: Armin Arlert:  
As long as you are crazy in moderation, it is the best~ Eren… you poor, poor child… do you just not watch TV/listen to the radio or what? Nuu, you need to listen now that way you can understand another thing about culture! You are so behind on the times sometimes that it's unbelievable…  
Received: 9:09 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **To: Armin Arlert:  
Of course I don't watch TV… the crap shows that are being aired lately . Nat Geo and Animal Planet are still okay though for the most part… Sides, I like the music I've got! 3 Doors Down isn't behind the times! You injure me with your judgment T.T  
Received: 9:13 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **From: Armin Arlert:  
Eren sometimes I honestly wonder how you've gotten this far in life with the limited cultural knowledge that you have. Hopefully we won't have another repeat like the time where you asked who Sylvester Stallone was. That was embarrassing XD 3 Doors Down is good but you probably don't even know who Of Monsters and Men are. How about Fallout Boys, have you heard of them? It's thanks to Mikasa and Jean that you've even heard of MCR or Sleeping with Sirens! Silly Eren just accept that you need cultural conditioning!  
Received: 9:16 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **To: Armin Arlert:  
I've gotten by through various means that I shall not reveal~ Most of which involve the use of black magic and Satanic rituals XD Hey, it's not my fault I never watched any of the Rocky movies -_- …. I'm going to refrain from answering those last two questions. It would probably be for the best because that would give you yet another thing to tease me about DX  
Sent: 9:20 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **From: Armin Arlert:  
Haha, I knew it! God, I knew it was a good idea to show you Supernatural ^u^ At least not until you fessed up about your lack of cultural knowledge~ which still needs some ramping up btw. You're damn right about that! Haha, but you always know I'm kidding…. most of the time. X3  
Received: 9:24 July 15** **th** **, 2013**

 **To: Armin Arlert:  
That was probably the worst mistake of my life. I've practically sold my soul to the Eric Kripke to be honest… No, no, no! No more 48 hour marathons! The last one was killer… and not just because we were watching the Halloween movies either.  
Sent: 9:28 July 16** **th** **, 2013**

Eren smiled at his friend's energy and sat up, his fingers tapping away at the keyboard. Armin was always so insistent about Eren becoming more 'culturally aware,' as the blonde put it. The blonde said it was regretful how Eren had a dislike for the social media nowadays but he had learned by now to just slowly wear Eren down, constantly badgering him about whatever he wanted him to watch or listen to until he finally wore down Eren's reluctance. Eren spun the phone between his forefinger and thumb, staring absently at the door. The house was quiet… too quiet.

Something slammed into his door and Eren flinched. His phone slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor, facedown. The doorknob jerked violently to the side and the door was flung open, crashing into the desk behind it. His father stood in the doorway, haloed by darkness from behind, lit from the light in Eren's room in the front. Grisha Jeagerswayed on his feet slightly, his eyes slowly focusing on his son. "What are you looking at you freak?"

The words cut through the silence like knives, shattering the peace that had been too good to last. Eren scrabbled backwards on his bed and pressed himself against the headboard and wall, his thoughts hazed with fear. _Stupid! Nowhere to go now!_  His father closed the distance within three long, furious strides, his feet slamming into the wooden floor, each thump causing Eren to flinch again.

His father stooped down and gripped the front of Eren's shirt, pulling the brown haired boy close. The stench of liquor washed over Eren's face as his father spoke, but he was paralyzed, his wide emerald eyes frozen on his father's cruel brown ones. "What, don't you wanna say something you shitty little faggot?" his father snarled, his voice sadistic and furious. Eren's mouth stayed firmly shut. There was no point in opening it, there never had been.

Grisha's lips pulled back, baring his gleaming white teeth. Out of his peripheral Eren saw his father's fist move back. His own hands shot up, moving to cover his face and head the best they could. His father's fist slammed into his side, smashing into his ribs and forcing a cry of pain from Eren's throat. It burned as it came out, almost as painful as the blow. His father let go of the collar of his shirt in favor of boxing his ear with it, the heavy hand merciless when it fell.

The blow sent Eren's head ringing and he tried to push himself backwards on the bed, holding back the pained noises that fought to be freed from his aching throat. His father caught his ankle with a bone-crushing grip and brought his other hand up. Eren brought his own hands up to his head and twisted it away. The raised fist smashed into his abdomen and Eren reflexively curled inwards, all the breath forced from his lungs. Eren gasped for air, too breathless to cry out in pain. His father let go of his ankle and brought one of his fists down on Eren's head, partly on his hand, partly on his ear and the skull behind it. A whimper of pain passed Eren's lips, using what little of the air he had managed to recover.

His father jerked him backwards off of his bed and Eren crashed onto the floor, landing on the lower portion of his back. Eren let out a strangled gasp his father slammed his knee down onto his sternum and leaned close, the stench of alcohol on his breath becoming overpowering. His fingers gripped Eren's arms, digging into the flesh like he was trying to tear it away from Eren's bones. "You want more you little freak?" The words were snarled into Eren's ear, low and menacing.

Eren's eyes flared open and he whipped his head from side to side, terror in his eyes. "No…" The word was like acid coming out of his mouth, burning its way up his throat and rolling off of his tongue. It sent his already tight throat even tighter, the searing sensation spreading throughout his throat with every panicked breath he tried to suck in as it grated on his agitated throat.

His father snorted, not unlike an angry bull, and he pulled back. The pressure of his knee remained on Eren's chest, crushing his lungs down and making it harder to breath than it already was. They stared at each other for a moment, dark brown eyes filled with fury meeting emerald green eyes filled with terror. Grisha's left hand shot out and grabbed Eren by the chin and throat. Fingers dug into Eren's windpipe and chin with bruising force, preventing him from turning his head. Grisha cocked his fist back behind his ear, a sneer on his face.

It stayed there for a minute and Eren's world narrowed down to a single thing; the fist that hung suspended in the air beside his father's head. The first blurred as it flew through the air towards Eren's face. Blood exploded in his mouth, washing over his tongue and flying from his lips. His cheek was numb for a few seconds before the pain registered in his head, sending dark spots dancing across his vision and his head spinning. He dimly noticed the pressure leaving his chest, the final kick that slammed into his ribs and sent him sprawling a few feet away, the cheek that his father had punched pressed into the cool wooden floor.

"Fucking pathetic," his father muttered, "You're useless, nothing but a dead weight." Eren watched his father's feet turn and walk away. His father slammed the door shut after he walked out, leaving Eren in silence. Eren stared at the door, his eyes glazed over and a thin trickle of blood leaking from his mouth, collecting on the floor beneath his head. His cheeks grew wet.

He didn't need to raise a hand to his face to know that the tears of pain he had been holding back finally freed themselves. It would have been surprising if he could have even moved his arms to be honest. His chest rose and fell in slow, pained movements as he drew the precious oxygen into his aching chest and lungs. This time was hardly the worst compared to some other occasions but it was relatively far up on the scale. Eren let his eyes slip shut, embracing the darkness of unconsciousness.

* * *

The wooden floor was hard and unforgiving beneath Eren. His neck ached from being at such an awkward angle and his face felt disgusting, crusted with dried blood and tear tracks. Arms trembling with pain and exertion pushed him upright, the spots that had been hit burning in protest. Eren slowly pulled his leg up beneath him and crouched on the floor, his forehead pressed against the floor.

The wooden floorboards beneath his face were speckled with droplets of dried blood.  _I'll have to get that up later…_  Eren pulled his foot beneath his and pushed himself up till he was standing. The house was quiet once more; either his father had drunken himself into a stupor again or he had left the house for a few hours.  _I need to get out… I need to get some air._

Eren eased himself out of his door and into the bathroom across the hall, shutting the door before he turned the light on. He pulled a washcloth from the basket on the counter and twisted the tap till warm water flowed. Once it had been sufficiently wet and wrung out Eren began to dab at his face, wiping away the blood that stained his lips and part of his jaw.

One of his hands wandered up to his cheek, the one his father had hit. His fingers skimmed over the bone and swollen flesh. The skin had already started bruising, currently a shade of light blue and purple that would certainly darken within the next twelve hours. Thankfully it was the summer, that way he wouldn't have people questioning him every few minutes about the massive bruise that would certainly cover his cheek.

An excuse would be required for Mikasa and Armin but that wasn't unusual. Eren hated lying to them, he truly did, but there was no way around it. They couldn't help him from this, they couldn't free him. Maybe he could say that he'd fallen down some stairs. _It's amazing they haven't wrapped me with bubble wrap to be quite honest. They probably think I'm clumsy enough to break a bone just by sitting. That or they think I can't walk without tripping over something._  Armin might have his suspicions about the reality behind the bruises and the lies but the blonde wouldn't call on his bluff.

Eren finished dabbing at his cheek and dropped the washcloth into the sink, flicking the lights out before he left to ease himself into his bedroom, keeping the crack between the door and doorframe as small as possible as he slipped inside. Once inside he tugged his old shirt off and pulled on a new one. He grabbed his keys from the table beside the bed and his phone from the floor, taking a moment to look at the clock; 11:15. The house retained its silence and darkness as he slunk silently through the house, down the steps, and out the door.

Outside the world had long since gone dark, the stars gleaming against the inky backdrop, the moon little more than a silvery scratch in the sky. Eren stayed on the front porch for a few moments before his legs began to move, taking him through the streets. They carried him across gray pavement and black asphalt, beneath puddles of orange or white light cast by the various street lights and beneath trees that occasionally grew up near the sidewalk. The wind from earlier was still blowing, pushing the still hot summer air away and replacing it with cooler air, sending leaves and branches rustling as it went.

Few people roamed the streets at such a late hour, whether they were on foot or in cars. No one approached him and he approached no one, keeping to his path and not deviating. His feet slowed and then stopped and Eren looked at where his feet had carried him. He stood in front of Shiganshina Park, just in front of the opening between the stone brick walls. The concrete path changed to one of cobbled stone that would wind its way through the park.

Eren stepped within the walls of the park and began to walk aimlessly, no destination in mind. It was only when he saw the swing sets in the white light cast from the light pole near them that he realized just where his feet had taken him.  _Higher Mommy, higher!_  Eren bit his lip as the voice wafted up through years of memories covered in cobwebs, unwanted and unwelcome within his mind.

He shook his head and walked towards the swings, still painted the same reds and blues that they had been when he was a child. The paint was fresher, the seats of the swings were newer, as were the chains, but otherwise it was still the same. It was still a relic of the past, only it had been touched up, altered, but at least it was still recognizable.

Eren sat down at the one closest to him, the one at the very end of the row. His feet settled into ruts, larger and more worn than he remembered but still there nevertheless. Fingers clutched the cool chains at shoulder level and he leaned his head against one of the chains. Eren sighed and stared at the ground, watching his feet push him backwards and disappear beneath him as his toes dragged at the ground, stirring up little puffs of dirt. "You do realize that it's dangerous to be out in a park alone at night, right?"

Eren's head snapped up, his eyes flaring wide open and his body going rigid. A man stood a few feet away, the white light of the light post revealing his features. He didn't seem to look much older than Eren, although his face was thin and pale, framed by black hair that appeared to be shaved on the lower half of his head.

Gray eyes peered at him, lines beneath them telling stories of many nights filled with little sleep. He was wearing a gray shirt that went several inches past his hips, overlapping with the black jeans he was beating. Black combat boots showing signs of wear but good care poked out from beneath the bottoms of his jeans. Long and slim fingers clutched a camera gently but firmly, cradling the black camera almost lovingly. The strap was twisted around his wrist and his right forefinger was on top of the camera, although the lens was facing towards the ground.

The man was short, probably around five feet, and slighter in frame than most men, but there was an intensity in his eyes and his shoulders that screamed "Mess with me, I dare you!" He was, for lack of better terms,  _beautiful_.

"Hey… are you awake in there?" Eren blinked and tore his eyes away, staring past the man and into the dark trees beyond him instead. He nodded in agreement to both questions. "Okay… I'm guessing you don't like to talk. Good, conversation is dull. Mind if I sit there?" He gestured to the seat next to Eren with the hand that didn't have the neck strap wrapped around it. Eren shook his head and the man sat down on the red plastic seat.

Eren watched from the corner of his eyes as the man turned something on the top of the camera with his thumb. The screen on the camera flickered to life, replacing the blank black surface with a muted blue-white glow. The man's thumb moved over to the right of the screen, where an array of buttons and a control pad lay. His thumb moved around, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but either way it hid the pictures from Eren for the most part.

He occasionally caught glimpses red-orange sunsets, pristine white beaches with cerulean waters, and tall trees adorned with leaves in their fall colors. "Are you going to sit there and stare creepily over my shoulder or are you actually going to look?" Eren looked up, startled, and stared at the man's face. The other man's gray eyes roamed inquisitively over his own face, yet they stayed neutral. "Well?" Eren jerked his head in an awkward nod and a small smirk tugged the corners of the man's mouth upwards as he tilted the camera towards Eren.

The first picture was that of a lighthouse on a rocky, moss and grass covered cliff, its base made of burgundy bricks that changed to alternating black and white strips before it reached the top, which was set against darkening purple sky already scattered with stars. The sun was setting beneath the waters in the distance, turning the water into a rippling surface of gold, orange, and red, matching the sky that it met.

The picture changed, this time to a field of golden heather bent at varying angles from a gentle wind, the blue sky above and beyond dotted with small, fluffy white clouds. A black and white head poked up through the tall golden stalks, a cow that had been staring in the general direction of the camera when the picture was taken.

It changed again, this time to a small pond. The bottom was covered with sand and small, colorful rocks and pebbles. Ripples dotted the surface, distorting some parts while others remained clear. Lilly pads were scattered about, their blossoms in varying stages of being open. One even had a frog perched on top of it. Fish had been captured darting beneath the water, their silvery scaling glimmering like rainbows as sunlight danced off their scales.

They sat there for a while, Eren staring at the images, completely and totally enraptured, the man holding the camera, a small smile visible on his face whenever Eren glanced up. The picture of the lighthouse reappeared all too soon, leaving Eren with a crippling sense of disappointment and longing.  _I want to see those things… not that I ever will._

"So…" the man said, interrupting his thoughts. "What did you think?"  _Oh… fuck._  Eren raised a finger and the man's eyebrows scrunched together as he watched Eren reached into his pocket and pull his phone out. His fingers flew across the keyboard, frantically typing out a message for the man to read, something that he could form easier than words. Eren raised it up, screen facing the man, when he was done.

**Those pictures were amazing! Did you take them all yourself?**

The man glanced up at Eren's face, a questioning look on his face. "Yeah… I usually travel around a lot over the holidays and breaks. I decided to stay here this year and take some pictures of home." He looked away and wrinkled his note at the mention of 'home,' as if the word disagreed with him somehow. "Do you live here or are you visiting someone?"

**I've always lived here. What about you?**

The man shook his head, although it seemed to be in an irritated or mirthless manner rather than one that of not wanting to speak. "I moved here two years ago, at the start of the school year. My father let me be homeschooled but he's demanding I go to school this year, probably because that bastard doesn't want to keep paying the teacher he'd hired. I'll be a senior at Shiganshina High… what about you?"

**That's where I'm going! I'll be a sophomore this year.**

_Well, I was right about him being around my age at least. He seems honest enough to not be lying about it…_  "Tell me, how's the school? If it's some shitty dump of a school I'm packing my bags…  _again_." The man fidgeted with the strap on his camera, his eyes boring into Eren's. "What's your name kid?"

**No, the school is nice. Some of the teachers suck but that's about the extent of it all. I'm Eren Jeager, not 'kid'. What about you?"**

"I'll have to take your word on that for now I suppose…" the man muttered. "I'll be the judge of that when I actually get in there though. Hell, it'll be better than the last place probably." The man pushed himself backwards before rocking forwards, the momentum carrying him back and forth for a few moments. "So Eren… what's an idiot like you doing out so late?"

**I'm not an idiot -_- I just wanted to get out of the house for a while and get some fresh air.**

It was the truth, part of it anyways. All that had been left out was the mention of a hostile home environment, a drunkard of a father, the most recent beating, and the desperate need to get out of the house, not just a want. "That, I can understand," the man said, nodding his head absently in agreement, looking down at the ground between his feet.

He looked back up at Eren, gray eyes blazing. He tapped his cheek. "Where'd you get that bruise? The one on the left side of your face I mean." Eren unconsciously flinched at the mention of it and his fingers, which had been so eager to type the next message, didn't want to cooperate, not that he wanted them to. A grimace crossed the face of the raven haired man. "Sorry, that was probably not a question I should be asking." Eren shook his head softly but began to type anyways before he showed it to the man.

**I got into a fight with an acquaintance. He punched me in the face.**

The man pulled back and shook his head, his shoulders shaking slightly with silent laughter and a hand concealing the smile that Eren knew would be there. "Idiot… do you not know to keep your damn hands up? Don't answer that." He turned his head and looked at Eren, studying him a moment. "So… can you tell me why you're typing and not talking?" Eren bit his lip but started a new line on the notepad app, hesitating a moment before he began to type again. He showed the man again, watched as the gray eyes scanned the newest message.

**I can't speak. I was born with severely underdeveloped vocal chords. Speech is very hard and extraordinarily painful.**

"Ah… I'm sorry." Eren shrugged in response as if to say 'it doesn't matter,' and retracted his arm. Silence wrapped itself around them, only the creak of the chains, the rustle of leaves, and the sounds of wild nightlife filling the air. Eren opened his phone at glanced at the time; 1:04.  _Well fuck… I definitely didn't mean to stay out so late._  A creaking sound came from his left, that of chains. Eren glanced over and watched the gray eyed man stand, camera pointed at the ground once more.

"Well fuck… And I said I was going to take some photographs." he muttered, staring off into the trees. He turned and looked at Eren, a questioning look in his eyes. "May I see your cell?" Eren cocked his head at the question but extracted the phone from his pocket and held it out anyways. The raven haired man took it with one hand and let the camera strap slip down to his elbow so that he could type. Eren watched as his fingers moved across the phone, slid it open, danced gracefully across the keyboard, and slid it shut again. He handed the phone back to Eren, the screen dark.

"One more thing…" he gestured to his camera. "Do you mind if I take one of you?" Eren shook his head, a go ahead. A small smile flickered up onto the man's pale face and he raised the camera to his silvery eyes. Fingers twisted the lens back and forth with delicate and precise movements, adjusting it till it was perfect. Eren stared at the camera, a small and bemused smile on his lips as he watched the nameless man work.  _Oh… I never did get his name_.

A flash of light startled him out of his thoughts and Eren looked at the man who lowered the camera from his face. "Sorry, the flash has to be a little stronger because of the lack of light." He took a few steps towards Eren and held out his hand. "Well Eren… it was nice to meet you." Eren took the offered hand and nodded, grasping the pale hand delicately, as if it was made of fine china.

It was only when the man had disappeared into the darkness beyond the light that Eren looked at his phone. It was open to the contacts tab and was centered at the L's. There was a new name there, one he didn't know;  **Levi Rivaille – XXX-XXX-XXXX**.


	2. Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abuse.

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Sorry I can't make it today. Will Friday be fine?**  
 **Sent: 7:42 AM, July 16 th**   **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Of course! Don't worry about it~ what's up?**  
 **Received: 9:23 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Thanks for understanding :) Not much. Was playing my violin**  
 **Sent: 9:30 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **No problem~ ah I'm sorry! Go back to your practice if you want to I won't mind!**  
 **Received: 9:33 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Nah, it's alright. I was almost done anyways. What's up over there?**  
 **Sent: 9:37 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Not much. Mikasa gramps and I are playing some poker. Kicking some ass right now! ^^**  
 **Received: 9:41 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Remind me to never play poker with you…**  
 **Sent: 9:44 AM, July 16 th , 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Hahahaha, don't worry I'd probably go easy on yah! :D**  
 **Received: 9:49 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Sure you would sure you would…. I gotta go now, text ya later!**  
 **Sent: 9:53 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Haha just never agree to play poker with me when stripping or money is involved and you'll be fine! Alright~ Have fun & make good choices!**  
 **Received: 9:57 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Note made. Good choices? Who needs good choices? XD**  
 **Sent: 10:01 AM, July 16 th** **, 2013**

* * *

"Eren," Armin sang out as he flung his door open, bright blue eyes wide with excitement. They widened further when they saw the large bruise dappling his cheek. It had faded in the four days that had passed since Monday night, going from an array of dark blues and purples to a mixture of yellows with a bit of blue and purple coloration still remaining in the center of the bruise. "Eren, what did you do this time? And when?"

 _"Monday night,"_  Eren signed to Armin, a sheepish smile on his face. His hands moved on, telling the lie he had thought up days before, the same morning that he had met Levi.  _"I went to open a door but I was listening to someone and it opened and hit me in the face."_  A poor lie but nevertheless it was one that Armin would have trouble arguing about. Eren rubbed the back of his head and grinned at Armin, a silent chuckle shaking his shoulders.

Armin shook his head and gently smacked Eren in the center of the forehead. "Moron… Well, at least you're alright now. Come on in!" Eren chuckled and followed Armin into his house, shutting the door with a soft click once he stepped in from the hot afternoon air outside. The interior of the house was blissfully cool, turning the sweat that had accumulated on Eren's back into ice as it wrapped around him. The delicious scent of herbs and baking chicken filled the house. "Gramps says it'll be done in a couple of hours," Armin said, grinning when he noticed Eren sniffing the air.

The blue eyed boy waited as Eren pulled his sneakers off his feet, leaving them by the coatrack. He ascended the steps just behind Armin, their sock-covered feet pressed into the plush green carpet that covered the dark wooden stairs. The beige wall to his right was adorned with an array of pictures set into dark brown frames of varying sizes.

One held a couple well into their years, their smiles bright and genuine as they clutched each other by the waist. The man had a brown beard and mustache, with bushy brown hair streaked with gray that collected at the nape of his neck and brown eyes filled with joy. The woman was smaller than the man, almost sickly in appearance, her graying blonde hair pulled back into a loose bun with numerous strands escaping. Her bright blue eyes mirrored the man's emotions. Armin's grandparents looked so happy in that picture despite the bitter end they knew was coming.

Another held a woman who looked almost like a photocopy of the older woman. Her hair fell down to her waist in golden waves and her blue eyes glittered mischievously. It was one of the few pictures of Armin's mother on display within the house. No pictures of his father were in the house; there hadn't been time to take one considering the circumstances.

Pictures of Armin and Mikasa from all ages were the ones that appeared the most, from the time they were both children till the current day. Armin's grandfather was sprinkled about here and there, appearing in pictures with one child or both, rarely on his own in any of them. Most of the time he was the one doing the picture-taking.

They reached the second floor and turned to the left, the side where Armin's room was. The walls of the room might have been painted white but only thin little strips of white were visible between the posters from  _National_ Geographic, images of far-away places, and various posters of books and movies tacked up on the walls. The navy colored covers on his bed were crinkled up in places; Armin must have been sitting there till moments ago. His computer was on, the screen displaying a YouTube page pulled up to "The Perfect Mistake" by Cartel.

Mikasa was already seated on the floor when they entered, her eyes locked on the screen of a black 3DS, her fingers pounding away at the buttons. She was probably playing  _Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition_ , a game that Eren had gotten her as a late birthday present-esque gift. She must have pressed pause or finished the fight because she looked up at them as they walked into Armin's bedroom, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards slightly when she saw him, "Hi Eren."

He watched her eyes flicker over his face and she raised an eyebrow questioningly as she tapped her cheek. "A door hit him," Armin said with an amused shake of his head. "Eren, we really should wrap you in bubble wrap and stick you in a padded room. That might, just might, prevent you from doing yourself in on accident."

Eren stuck his tongue out at Armin and sat down on the floor to the left of Mikasa while Armin sat directly across from him. Each of them was angled so that they could see the other two equally, something that they had perfected over the years. Eren tapped Armin on the wrist and the blonde boy looked up at him.  _"So I met this guy the other day at the park…"_

Eren signed slowly, watching his friend's face. A massive grin spread across Armin's face and he leaned closer, baby blue eyes sparkling with excitement. "Oh, was he cute? Tell me everything!" His voice brought Mikasa's head up from the game and she looked back and forth between the two. She stared at both of them and cocked her head to the side, a questioning look in her eyes once more.

She looked back at Eren and raised an eyebrow."Who is cute?" Armin turned to Mikasa and smirked, flashing bright white teeth at the black haired girl. "Eren met some new guy at the park." He turned back to Eren and leaned forwards, his elbow on his knee and his chin on the palm of his hand, fingers curled up around his chin. "So, tell us more!"

Eren's face flushed from the intensity of both of their stares, but he started to sign anyways, telling them the gist of it.  _"I went to the park late Monday night. Some guy showed up and he showed me some pictures. We talked for a while afterwards. He gave me his number."_  His face was edging towards the color of red bricks by the time he was finished.  _"Yeah, he was cute. Scratch that, he was hot."_  Armin let out a happy shriek and flung his arms around Eren's head, tackling him to the floor.

Mikasa had to help pry the squealing blonde away from Eren before they could carry the conversation any further. "You  _have_  to let us meet him!" Armin demanded when he returned to his sitting position. Eren sat up and rubbed the back of his head, slightly sore from being unexpectedly bashed into the gray carpet beneath him. He stuck his tongue out at Armin and shrugged; a noncommittal gesture that guaranteed nothing.

"Come on Eren!" Armin groaned, hands wringing the air in front of him. "You should! What's the worst that could happen? It's not like we'll scare him off!"

To Eren's surprise, Mikasa turned her game off and nodded in agreement with Armin, leaning forwards so that she could stare into his eyes, probably hoping to make him crack if she stared long enough. "You should let us meet him sometime," Mikasa murmured after a moment. "I'd like to know I can trust this person. You haven't even told us his name yet."

Armin flung his arms around Mikasa, a grin on his face. "See Eren, Mikasa agrees with me! Ah, you're the best sister a guy could ask for despite the lack of blood shared!" A small smile tugged Mikasa's lips upwards but she pushed Armin off anyways, admittedly she did it gently. "So..." Mikasa began once more as she leaned forwards slightly. Armin leaned forwards with her till their heads, gold and ebony, were right next to each other and only a few feet away from Eren's face. "What's his name?"

Eren rolled his eyes and began to spell out the name  _"L-E-V-I R-I-V-A-I-L-L-E."_  He had looked at the name in his phone so many times that the letters had been burned into his memory, along with the numbers that had followed them. Pathetic it might have been, but it was a distraction. It was something new. It had the possibility of being something interesting, of being an escape. He still had yet to even text Levi, too nervous to send something as simple as a "Hello."

"That name sounds familiar…" Armin muttered, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Isn't there a businessman with the last name of Rivaille in the city?" Mikasa and Eren shrugged in response, neither sure of an answer for Armin's question. Armin dropped that part of the subject and went back to delving for information about Levi. Eren gave his two friends all that he could, which admittedly wasn't much. Once Armin was certain that he had extracted the last of the information from Eren he finally ceased the interrogation and instead started up the PS3 so that they could play  _Red Faction: Guerrilla_. They passed the two controllers back and forth between the three of them for a couple of hours until Armin's grandfather called them down for dinner.

The three of them set the table; Armin pulled down the glasses and poured everyone drinks; Mikasa set out the plates; Eren set a fork and knife by each plate and stuck spoons in various bowls. Armin's grandfather clapped a hand on Eren's shoulder as he passed by, carrying a handful of silverware. Eren jerked when the hand touched his shoulder, not expecting the spontaneous touch. He nearly sent half of the silverware clattering to the floor in his moment of surprise before he managed to recover and look up at Gramps. It was a fond name that he had adopted after being around Armin and his family so much.

A broad smile covered his face and the laugh lines were evident, even beneath the thick beard, which contained more gray than brown nowadays. "It's good to see you Eren." Eren nodded and returned the smile before they seated themselves around the table. Armin and his grandfather sat on one side, Mikasa and Eren on the other.

"Have you all heard that the Shiganshina City Orchestra will be returning from their tour in order to play in two weeks?" All three of the teenagers looked up at Gramps, their eyes questioning. Mikasa swallowed her mouthful of bread before she spoke, "They are?"

Gramps nodded and grinned at each of them in turn. "Yeah, they'll be here from the twenty-ninth of July till the fifth of August. They're performing every night if you kids would like to go watch."

Armin's eyes widened and he twisted in his seat to look at his grandfather, eyes glowing with excitement, "Really?!" His voice was a squeak and he was practically dancing in his seat, bouncing up and down with sudden enthusiasm. Eren was amazed he wasn't bouncing off the walls yet to be quite honest, but he could certainly understand why the blonde was so excited. Hopeful excitement budded in his chest; he had been positively  _dying_  to go see the orchestra since he had first heard them perform years ago, but he had been unsuccessful in securing a ticket since then.

He bobbed his head in agreement when Gramps looked at him for his opinion. Mikasa murmured her acceptance too. The four of them smiled at each other, an aura of peace and happiness surrounding them as they finished the meal, chatting about anything and everything.

* * *

Eren slipped up the stairs early Saturday afternoon once he had finished devouring a bowl of Cheerios, years of habits keeping him silent despite the fact that he was currently the only person in the house. His father had left at six in the morning and Eren certainly didn't expect him back until at least six that night. Six was the time Grisha would get home if he opted to drink at home. If he opted to occupy a bar for a few hours, the amount of time he would spend there couldn't be gauged with any accuracy. Either way he still had at least four hours before his father came home, probably in a piss poor mood and ready to lash out at a moment's notice.

Eren left the door to his room ajar and crossed to the corner of his room, where the small, black, leather case sat beneath the window, pressed up against the white walls of the room. There were several music books and folders stacked on top of it and a music stand next to it. He tossed the books and folders onto his bed, picked the music stand up, taking a few moments to assemble it and set it on the wooden floor before he turned his attention to the case.

Gentle hands lifted the case and laid it on his bed before deft fingers flipped the metal clasps holding it closed. Eren ran his fingertips over the smooth wood of the violin that lay inside, the polished surface gleaming in the light. He took the bow out first, checking to ensure that all of the strands were in place before he exchanged it for the violin and began to tune the elegant piece of art, twisting the knobs and drawing the bow across the strings with expert grace until each produced the correct note.

He brought the violin up, resting it on his left shoulder, beneath the left side of his jaw. Eren let his eyes slide shut and drew in a breath before he drew the bow across the strings. His fingers began to move, running through various scales of notes, starting out simply before he quickly escalated to climb up the major scale, starting from as low as possible before reaching the highest note his violin was capable of.

As he played the scales his tempo slowly increased until the bow was little more than a blur. Fingers flew across the fingerboard of the violin, drawing out different notes as his hand darted about along the length of the fingerboard. He pulled the bow away, letting the final note fade into silence before he set the bow down, picked up one of the folders, and set it on the music stand.

He shuffled through the music arrangements until he found the one he wanted to play; "Sonata No.4 in A Minor" by Ludwig van Beethoven. He pulled it out and set it so that three of the six pages were visible, considering only three could fit and still be completely readable while on the stand. The song was divided into three parts; Presto, Andante scherzo piu allegretto, and Allegro molto. All of the Presto and most of the Andante scherzo were visible.

Eren set the violin back on his shoulder and rested his chin on is. Raising the bow to the strings he began to play. The bow flew across the strings, smooth and fluid, yet swift and gradual in turn as he brought the notes to life, filling the house with sound. It was a blessing that his father wasn't home otherwise his door would be bursting inwards by now. It was unfortunate that neither Mikasa nor Armin could play the piano as it sounded best as a duet.

He let the song trail away when he reached the last note on the third page before he began to skip around, hitting on the parts that gave him the most difficulty. After several renditions of the six pages, played three at a time, he switched songs, moving on to play "Gavotte" by Johann Bach. He pulled the bow across the strings, the pace brisk from the get-go. He swayed in time to the music, bouncing slightly on the ball of his foot to the short, swift notes while swaying from side to side during the slower, softer parts.

He let himself be sucked into the world of music till only the violin, the notes, and the music existed. There was a sense of peace to it, one he seemed to feel only while playing. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he left the sheet music behind, swaying to his own melody instead.

* * *

Dinner on Sunday night was a tense and silent affair, but then again, that was the norm for the household. Grisha sat at the end of the table, moodily stabbing at his plate and drinking a beer while Eren sat as far away as possible, picking quietly at his plate. Cautious glances towards his father occurred between every bite. Every movement that his father made put him on edge. He had started drinking earlier than usual and was currently working his way through his third drink within twenty minutes.

Silence hung heavily between them. Grisha didn't even try to make conversation despite the knowledge of ASL and the notepad and pen that Eren always carried around. Eren sighed and pushed a few green beans around before spearing them with his fork and chewing on them.  _He could say something every now and then... Hell, I'd take him talking about his work over the silence._  However his father appeared to be immune to communication via thoughts and so he remained silent, glaring at the meal that Eren had prepared earlier. He couldn't even get a clear read on his father aside from the anger that perpetually radiated off of him.

Eren bit his lip and focused on his plate, pushing a piece of steak around with his fork before he finally pinned it down, raised it to his mouth, and began to gnaw on it. A heavy thunk brought his head shooting up, eyes flaring wide as he stared at the source of the sound. His father glanced up at him, eyes sour and mouth set in a grim line. "What are you looking at you little shit?" Eren shook his head and cast his eyes back down, focusing on the whorls of grain in the wooden tabletop.

"Useless…" his father muttered, stabbing viciously at his plate. Eren swallowed and quickly stuffed what little was left on his plate into his mouth, chewing and swallowing rapidly. He rose from the table and rinsed the plate off before sticking it in the dishwasher. He pulled the Tupperware containers down and tapped the table. Grisha glanced up, glaring at Eren as he watched his son gesture to the remaining food and then to his plate.

"Put it up already dumbass," he muttered, taking another swig of beer. Eren nodded, not that his father was paying attention anymore, and packed the food into the containers and stuffed them into the refrigerator. He left the dining room and ascended the steps to the second floor, ghosting through the hall till he was in his room, the door firmly shut behind him.

He sighed and leaned against the door, staring out the window, through the half shut curtains and into the darkness beyond.  _I wonder when Dad's going to bed… I could go to the park again._  He glanced at his phone, lying silent on his bed.  _Would Levi be there again?_  It had been nearly a week since he had met the strange man and he still had yet to text. Armin kept badgering him about texting him, but Eren couldn't help hesitating. What if he had just been bored that night, only going along with it all as a joke and nothing more?

Eren sighed again and raked his fingers through his hair, stopping just above his ears. He rubbed his fingertips in circles, tangling his hair around his fingers.  _Hm… it's starting to get a little long. Maybe Mikasa would be willing to cut it sometime this week._  The raven haired girl had cut his hair several times, along with her own, Armin's, and even Gramps' hair.

He let his hands fall back to his sides as he wandered over to his window. He hooked his fingers under the lip and pulled it up, letting the cooling night air flow into the room. The sky had already darkened, dark clouds covering the sky and leaving the world in darkness aside from the streetlights and lit houses. A breeze rippled the curtains and his hair, carrying with it the heavy scent of rain. Eren took a deep breath and smiled, leaning out a little further, his elbows against the windowsill, his hands dangling over the edge.

"Eren, get your scrawny ass down here  _this instant_!" Eren blanched and pulled back into his room, shutting the window and yanking the curtains shut before he emerged from his room.  _What does he want now?_  He swallowed, his throat dry, as he descended the steps and saw his father standing in the doorway of the kitchen, a bottle clutched in his hand. Well, it was certainly better than the times where his father had been clutching a knife instead of a bottle.

Eren cocked his head to the side and drew a question mark in the air, hoping his father could understand what he meant despite the alcohol-induced lack of clarity that he was probably experiencing. Grisha dropped the bottle and it crashed on the floor, glass flying and beer splattering everywhere. Eren recoiled from the sound, taking a hesitant step backwards.  _Maybe he'll just pass out. Please just pass out._  Fear began to slowly trickle through him and he fought against his instinct to either fight or flee. The latter of the two feelings was currently stronger, almost irresistible.

His father lurched forwards until he was only a few feet away from Eren, the stench of alcohol washing over Eren's face. He wrinkled his nose, but tried to hold still, unsure of what his father would do next. The answer came a moment later when his father gripped him by the shoulders, his fingers digging into his skin, and slammed him up against a wall, his grip on Eren's shoulders pinning him there so that he couldn't move. Eren's heart hammered away in his chest and he brought his hands up near his face. His father wasn't above knocking their heads together

That turned out to be a mistake.

Grisha brought his knee up, straight into Eren's crotch, releasing his grip on Eren as he did so. The impact was not merely painful; it was quite agonizing. Eren slithered down to the floor, mouth open in pained shock. His body curled in on itself, his hands automatically going down to his crotch, which burned with agony. Grisha snorted in contempt and drew his leg back. The tip of his foot caught Eren square in the chest, neither arm currently available for protecting that area. It was too high to knock the wind out of him, having caught him near his breastbone, but it roused a new flame of pain.

He pulled his arm up, just in time to catch another savage kick on his forearm. Eren clamped down on his lower lip, fighting the urge to scream. A pained whimper passed his lips, his eyes burning as he fought to stay silent, to keep from letting tears of pain slip away. Blood trickled into his mouth and down his chin as his teeth cut through his lips. His father shifted to his right, towards Eren's ankles. Eren sucked in a breath and pushed himself out of the way, sliding away on the wooden floor.

Grisha's foot slammed down on the floor, right where Eren's ankle had been moments before. "Hold still you creep," he muttered as he advanced. His face was dark with hatred, his lips pulled back in a feral snarl. "It's still your fault!" he spat at Eren, brown eyes blazing. "It's always been your fault, always will be. When has it not been your fault?" Grisha pulled his leg back again as the malicious words passed through his lips and Eren scrambled backwards, moving further down the hall, further into a dead end

His father only advanced towards him, feet heavy on the wooden boards. Every footstep sent a new jolt of fear coursing through him, burning through his veins and turning his body to ice. "You should have died with her!" Eren froze, breath coming in gasps as he stared up at his father. Grisha smirked, triumph flaring across his face and he pulled back and kicked Eren again, straight in the shin.

Eren yelped and tried to move further away, his right leg numb from where the blow had landed. Eren bit down on his arm, holding back any more sounds. "Disgusting…" Another blow caught him on the side of his kneecap. His teeth dug further into his forearm but they didn't draw blood. "Hmph..." Eren glanced up and watched as his father turned and stormed away, probably to pick up another bottle.

He pulled his arm away from his mouth, a circle of deep teeth marks evident on the tan skin. His lip stung, his limbs ached, and his face burned with shame. Eren rose slowly and dragged the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood that stained his lips. He stumbled up the stairs, his right leg giving him an undesired limp. He managed to make it back to his room without incident, where he changed clothes, cleaned himself the best that he could, and fell backwards onto his bed.

Eren twisted his head to look at the bedside stand where a framed picture sat, holding the image of a smiling brown haired woman.  _Sorry mom._  He looked the other way, fresh tears prickling at his eyes. He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, fighting away the tears that seemed to insist upon coming. Eren glanced the other way, away from the picture frame. His phone sat on his desk.  _I could text Mikasa or Armin… or I could text Levi._

Somehow he managed to get his protesting limbs to move once more, finding the will to stand and slowly inch over to the desk. Finally, after nearly a week of holding off and postponing the inevitable, Eren finally scrolled through his contacts and selected Levi's. Tapping the screen, he opened a new text message and began to type.

**To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Hey. It's Eren, the one from the park. Do you wanna come to the park tonight?**  
 **Sent: 8:46 PM, July 21st, 2013**

He set the phone on the desk and waited to see if Levi would respond. He was unprepared when his phone began to violently buzz on his desk within minutes of sending the text. Eren picked up his phone and opened the text, his breath caught in his throat.

**From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Oh wow, looks like you're alive. Whatever, it's not like I've got anything better to do**  
 **Received: 9:00 PM, July 21st, 2013**

**To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Course I'm alive! I was just busy -_- I'll be at the swings in ten**  
 **Sent: 9:03 PM, July 21st, 2013**

**From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Alright, alright. I'll be there brat. Don't get your boxers in a twist**  
 **Received: 9:07 PM, July 21st, 2013**


	3. Thunder

 

The night was lukewarm, but thick and sticky with moisture. Rain was imminent, but hopefully it wouldn't start off as a downpour right off the bat. Eren let go of the branch and landed on the ground in a crouch with a soft thud. Luckily the limbs of the tree came within ten feet of the ground, otherwise some very ungraceful sliding and scrabbling down the tree trunk would have been necessary.

It was an entrance and an escape that he had used numerous times, as one of the thicker limbs was only a foot or two away from the windowsill of the guest room while the trunk was right outside of the kitchen. The location was far enough away from the living room and his father's bedroom, both of which were on the bottom floor. His father would be unable to hear or see him unless he was staring out the windows. From above, the window to the den, his room, and guestroom were hidden by leaves. No one from above could possibly have a chance of seeing through the thick foliage during the summer.

Eren straightened up and began to walk, jamming his hands into the pockets of his gray jacket as his steps carried him away from the house and into the dark night. He cut through the backyards of his neighbors, creeping along quietly as he tried not to disturb anything, or anyone for that matter.

The grass was covered in dew, quickly soaking the bottoms of his jeans and seeping into his shoes. Having his socks clinging to his feet wasn't the most enjoyable, but after everything else he could certainly handle his socks being a little damp. He crept around the tall wooden fence of the fourth house to the right of his own.

Hopefully there wouldn't be any nocturnal animals roaming around; he wasn't really in the mood to deal with a raccoon or an opossum.  _That would be a wonderful way to top the day, getting attacked by a territorial animal that might have rabies. Dad would get a kick out of that. Actually, I'd probably be the one quite literally getting a kick out of that._  An explosion of barking filled the air nearby and Eren jumped, his heart leaping into his throat.

The barks carried on, another dog joining the sudden cacophony that had initially shattered the peaceful silence. Eren pressed his hand to the wooden fence and took a breath, trying to calm his racing pulse.  _Jesus fucking Christ, that was_ not _something I needed right now._  He sucked down another breath and began to move once more, his pace increasing to a light jog. It hurt to do so; his leg was still aching from where his father had kicked it.

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face and he brushed it away. Another breeze pushed the heavy air about, the leaves whispering as they were tossed about. Eren reached the street at the end of the houses and turned, carrying along the streets. His steps slowed as he neared the park so he entered at a walk, passing between the stone walls. The chatter of crickets in the grass, the croak of bullfrogs, and the hoot of owls followed him as he walked through the park, footsteps silent on the cobbled path.

Nothing moved aside from the occasional gleam of eyes that stared out at him from the shadows of the bushes and trees, only to disappear after a few moments of holding his gaze.  _Admittedly, it's better to be stared at by animals in the bushes than mugged by men in the shadows. Now that I think about it, going to the park of all places after dark is never the best of ideas, but I'm already here and, hopefully, Levi is too._

The swing sets soon came into sight, the seats shifting back and forth in the erratic wind. Only one of the swings was occupied. The coal-colored hair atop the man's head was unmistakable, especially since not many people cut it in a style quite like that. Levi was wearing a black jacket with red stripes and a gray hood, faded blue jeans, and well-worn black combat boots. Eren watched as Levi toed the ground, a disinterested expression on his face. Another gust of wind sent the branches above Eren rattling and creaking.

He hurried onwards to the swing sets. Levi glanced up when he was a few feet away, his face still holding the expression of disinterest. "Hey." Eren lifted his hand in a little wave and eased himself down into the swing next to Levi, wincing slightly as his knee throbbed with pain. The gray eyed man looked at Eren, staring intently at his face before he glanced away. Levi raised his face to the dark, cloudy sky above and sighed. "So… what did you want?"

Eren stretched his leg out and pulled out his phone. The tap of fingers on keys, the rustle of leaves, and the rumble of distant thunder filled the silence between them as Eren formulated a response. He held the phone out for Levi to see. The screen cast a yellowish glow across Levi's face as the gray eyed man leaned over a little closer to see what Eren had typed out.

**Not much really. I just wanted to talk to someone. 'Sides, there's nothing to do at my house.**

Levi finished reading the message and pulled back. He crossed his legs and leaned on his knee, head turned towards Eren. "What about your friends?" Thunder rumbled overhead, closer and louder than it had been before. Eren shivered at the sound and pulled the phone back to type out another message. He held it out for Levi to read once more once he finished.

**They're probably busy. Armin's probably playing his grandfather in chess. Mikasa is probably watching them and playing a video game or something.**

"That's a lot of maybes," Levi commented. He began to rock sway, slowly pushing himself back and forth with the foot still in contact with the ground. Gray eyes slid over, towards Eren, strangely void of emotion, almost like Levi had a wall up between them. "You know, meeting during the daytime tends to be more convenient. Not to mention safer." Eren shrugged in response, a grin on his face as Levi read the next message.

**Maybe, but the interesting people are always out at night.**

Levi snorted, his shoulders jerking once as he shook his head. Eren though it was probably safe to say that Levi was amused, even if it was only slightly. "Muggers are out at night too. Are  _they_  interesting?" Eren stuck his tongue out at Levi. Thunder rumbled in the distance, faint and nearly masked by the constant rustling of leaves.

**I didn't say everyone now did I? Besides, you were out here the other night. Why?**

"No, I suppose you didn't." Levi tilted his head back and looked up at the cloud-shrouded sky. His hair fluttered around his face as the wind picked up. The wind did not cease blowing this time, staying constant instead. "I was taking pictures," Levi said after a few moments, his steely eyes still locked on the sky above. "It was a good night for photography."

**Ah, I never told you but those pictures you took were amazing! How long have you been into photography?**

Levi shrugged and his brow crinkled slightly as he thought. Another clap of thunder filled the air, like a long and drawn out gunshot. It wasn't that loud but Eren couldn't help the flinch that accompanied the noise. He saw Levi glance at him out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't quite read the other man's expression.

Eren began to tick off the seconds. He could remember when Gramps had told them that they could approximate how far the center of a storm was, just by counting the seconds between claps of thunder and bolts of lightning.  _One, two, three, four, five, six._  Thunder rolled, muted from the distance and nearly masked by the rustling leaves.  _Perhaps I should have just waited for a time when a storm wasn't about to open up on our heads._  "I've been taking them since I was young. My mother did some photography when she was younger. She gave me my first camera."

**That was nice of your mother. What does she do?**

Eren knew that he had said something wrong when Levi's hands clenched around the chains and his gray eyes slid out into the darkness of the trees ahead. The other man's body was tense. He must have been uncomfortable with where the topic of their talk had gone. Everything about him suddenly seemed closed off, even more so than before. Eren bit his lip and started another line, typing out a simple message. He held it out near Levi and waited for the other man to look over and see.

Lightning streaked across the sky, striking a place somewhere nearby, maybe a mile or two away. Before the light had even disappeared a massive clap of thunder shook the air. It sounded more like an explosion. Eren flinched, reflexively trying to find something solid to press his body up against. The phone fell from his grasp, landing face down in the dirt by Levi's feet. Eren didn't care.

His chest was tight with panic and he couldn't seem to draw enough air in.  _Idiot, idiot, it's just thunder, nothing more._  Levi glanced down at the phone first and then at Eren, confusion and concern flashing across his eyes. "Are you alright?" Eren nodded and tried to suck a breath down his tightening windpipe. A gust of wind whipped their hair around their heads and tore leaves from their branches, sending them fluttering into the air.

Levi raised an eyebrow, but bent over anyways to pick up the phone. He glanced at the phone screen before he twisted in his seat and held it out for Eren, his long, slim fingers curled around the, thankfully, undamaged screen. Eren reached out to grasp it in a weak two-finger grip. His arm, no, his whole body, trembled violently as he gingerly pinched it between his fingers and pulled it back towards him. It was surprising that he could even keep a grip on the phone.

"Don't like thunderstorms?" Eren shook his head in response. It wasn't  _thunderstorms_  that he was scared of; it was what the thunder reminded him off. Reminding him of what could be waiting at home. Something fell in front of his face. Eren blinked and pulled back, just in time for something to land on the top of his head. It took a moment before he realized that his head was slowly starting to grow damp in that spot. Both he and Levi glanced up, staring at the sky as more raindrops began to plummet through the air.

"You should go home," Levi said after a moment. Eren nodded and stood, his legs stiff and his chest still feeling constricted. He turned back to Levi and mouthed something, one word, to the other man before he turned around and began to walk away, his legs moving rapidly beneath him.  _"Thanks."_

* * *

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Eeeeerrrrrreeeeeennnn~ wanna come over and help us paint tomorrow?**  
 **Received: 8:03 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Ah sorry! I was taking a shower. I can't come and help. I've got some chores around the house to do. Sorry!**  
 **Sent: 8:42 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Nah, don't worry about it! It's not like we won't manage if you aren't here. Besides, Mikasa certainly won't miss the paint in her hair! XD**  
 **Received: 8:46 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Hey! We were 6 okay so give me a break -_- honestly Armin…**  
 **Sent: 8:50 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Heck no, that was priceless! The look on her face… oh God, I think I'm going to die from laughing at the memory of that XD can't you see it now, the tombstone with an epitaph of "Here lies Armin Arlert: died from laughing too hard."**  
 **Received: 8:55 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **You forgot the "Poor Armin, that crazy idiot just couldn't stop laughing."**  
 **Sent: 8:59 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Hey now. If you had to pick one word to describe me, 'idiot' would certainly not be it. More like 'super-talented-and-sexy-genius.' And yes, that is technically counted as one word.**  
 **Received: 9:03 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **-_- I'm not entirely sure that would all fit on a tombstone**  
 **Sent: 9:08 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Oh, you never know~ besides, there's always etching it in smaller font sizes!**  
 **Received 9:11 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **You're crazy…**  
 **Sent: 9:13 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Maaaaaybe, but at least I'm certifiably sane! Alright, Mikasa is demanding that I put the phone down and help her move furniture. I'll text ya later!**  
 **Received: 9:17 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Have fun with that XD**  
 **Sent: 9:15 AM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

* * *

Eren rolled his phone around, flipping it along his desk one way with his index finger before he brought it back and then repeated the process again. His cheek was pressed against the cool, wooden surface, his eyes staring at the bookshelf to the right of the desk. It was Tuesday, two days after the storm, and it was still muggy outside.

The clouds had yet to leave, choosing to linger and prevent the rain from evaporating. Clouds created a gray blanket above, full of ridges and discolored spots. Rain would occasionally fall in short, light bursts, but otherwise it simply remained overcast and humid. Admittedly, it was better than being stuck under the blazing summer sun, but it was starting to get a little dull. All of the chores had been attended to and the house was more or less clean from top to bottom. Well, it was clean concerning the list that his father had left him, so that was probably good enough. His father wouldn't notice either way.

With a sigh Eren unlocked his phone and glanced at the clock;  **3:05 PM**.  _There's the possibility that Dad will actually get off work and make it home around six like he's supposed to. Armin and Mikasa can't text since they're painting one of their bathrooms. What to do… what to do…_  Eren flipped the phone over onto its back and sat up, pulling his face away from his desk. His eyes darted across the room, flickering over the numerous books scattered about, his violin, hidden within its case, the old Gameboy on his bookshelf, the computer right in front of him.  _I just wanna get out for a few hours…_

A thought struck him, something that could both combat the boredom and bring some relief to the heat of the day, especially since he planned to go outside. Eren spun the chair around and rose to his feet, pocketing his phone before he began the hunt for his wallet. It wasn't much of a hunt, as this time he actually managed to remember that he had set it on his bookshelf, but usually finding the black,  _Legend of Zelda_  themed wallet could turn into a game of hide-and-seek with an inanimate object.

Eren slid it into his jeans, slipped through the house and down the stairs. Each step was unnecessarily precise, every movement calculated carefully, despite the lack of need at the current moment. He pulled his jacket from the coatrack by the door, a thin, green jacket with a white rose on the back, before he left the house, locking the front door behind him.

Outside, it was muggier than he had initially thought, the air enveloping him like a damp cloth. The quality of it was almost suffocating, sucking away the oxygen of each breath. It was regrettable that he hadn't exchanged his jeans for shorts before leaving the house, but at least the T-shirt he was wearing allowed for some relief from the sticky, suppressing air. He cut through the grass instead of following the stone path to the driveway.

Sweat started to bead along the back of his neck, his hair sticking to the damp skin. His shirt was clinging to his back by the time he had walked two blocks.  _And Armin still questions why I hate the summer. It's too damn hot and humid!_  Being outside  _did_  provide a nice distraction for his mind though. As a plus, it also helped work out the remaining stiffness that lingered in his leg as he walked.

A black Mercedes rolled by, the heavy thud of bass audible from the sidewalk. Eren rolled his eyes as it passed by. He turned the corner, passing by the park and carrying on for several minutes. His surroundings changed from the more widespread suburban sprawl to a more compact city build, where the buildings were packed right on top of each other, aside from the alleyways that occasionally cut between buildings.

Within a few minutes of entering the more compact part of the city, Eren spotted the place he had in mind; Christian's Café. Numerous visits had been made there over the years with Armin and Mikasa and countless dollar bills had been dropped on the speckled counter, all for a cup of lemonade and a warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookie each.

Eren waited at the corner of the street, people slowly gathering around, as they waited for the light to change. The cars passing by began to slow until they finally came to a stop as the crosswalk light flickered to green. The people in the cluster began to move sluggishly, like a thick substance oozing across the hot, black asphalt underfoot. Eren clung to the outer edge of the group and broke away as soon as they reached the other side.

Eager hands pulled the door to the café open, freezing air washing over him and the quiet tinkle of bells reaching his ears over the thrum of the streets outside. He could almost feel the sweat on his back freeze instantly from the AC that was going full blast. The door slipped shut behind him, cutting off the hot air that had tried to thread its way in. He glanced around, inspecting the shop, which looked - and smelled - almost the same as it always did.

Walls painted in light pastel colors, white and blue checkered linoleum floors, dark brown counters, the tops made of light brown wood polished so much that a person could use the countertop as a mirror. Chairs made of dark metal and plush, colorful cushions were stuck beneath white-topped circular tables. The back wall had four boards hung up top; the menus. Beneath there was a gap in the pastel brickwork where the kitchen staff in the bakery part of the establishment placed the orders. The rich scent of baking goods, coffee, and so much more filled the air, combining to make an intoxicating aroma that wafted enticingly at ones nose.

Eren extracted his wallet from his pocket and approached the counter, his mind already made up. Ordering was always interesting to say the least, especially without Mikasa or Armin, but luckily most places were willing to read the order off of his phone. The blonde girl behind the counter glanced up at Eren, her ice blue eyes full of disinterest as they raked over him before returning to the magazine lying open in front of her. "Hello and welcome to Christian's Café. How may I help you?"

Eren slid the phone up next to the girl's magazine. Blue eyes slid over to the phone, flickered up to him, and back down to the phone. "Whatever," she muttered. She turned to the monitor above the cash register and tapped the screen a few times. "That'll be five dollars and fifty-two cents." Eren rummaged around in his wallet for a moment before he dropped a somewhat crumpled bill and an assortment of coins into the girl's outstretched hand.

He spared a moment to glance at her name tag while she counted the coins. It read;  **Hi! My name is: Annie**. Her name was printed in small, fine letters that were all kind of smashed together. The girl, Annie, passed him back a nickel and three pennies in exchange for the sixty cents he had given her. Eren moved to the side, waiting patiently for his order as an elderly woman with steel-colored hair stepped up to the counter.

Eren leaned up against the counter, watching the three people in the kitchen portion of the shop. Admittedly, he could only see their upper halves, but it was still fascinating to watch them move, looks of pure concentration, but enjoyment on their faces. "Here you go." Annie slid a clear plastic cup and a thin, crinkly paper bag over to him. Eren nodded in thanks and grabbed both of the items, turning to scan for an open seat in the shop. After a few moments his eyes settled on a familiar mop of black hair with an undercut.

The head beneath the inky black hair was bent low over a book, one hand holding the side, the other curled around a cup of what appeared to be coffee. Eren didn't need to see his face to know it was Levi. Just the way he carried himself was enough of a clue. Eren approached the table Levi was sitting at, taking in the man's appearance as he did so. Levi was wearing tight black jeans, black and white Converses, and a faded green T-shirt.

Eren had to do a double take when he saw the glasses perched on Levi's slim nose. They were a flat black, seemingly rectangular from the angle Eren was standing at, and somewhat thickly rimmed. Combined with the book they almost made him look scholarly.  _Who in their right mind would be drinking coffee on a day like this?_  Eren set his cup down on the table.

The movement must have caught Levi's eye because he glanced up, his steely eyes already blazing with anger, like he was ready to tear the throat out of whoever dared to approach. Eren watched as the anger slowly bled from Levi's eyes, replaced by a vague look of irritation. "Oh. It's you again. Happy coincidence I assume?" Levi gestured for Eren to sit down and Eren did, pulling the metal chair out with a scrape. The gray eyed man watched as Eren pulled out his phone and began to type before sliding the phone across the table. He could barely suppress a smile when Levi rolled his eyes, closed his book partway, leaving only his thumb as a marker, so he could read. Eren glanced at the title of the book;  _A Game of Thrones._

**Haha, that's pretty much it. I wanted something cold but nothing in the house seemed good. Is your book good? And since when do you wear glasses?**

Levi slid the phone back and took a sip of his drink, small wisps of steam curling around his face. "If it wasn't good do you think I'd be reading it?" Eren shook his head, but he didn't miss the slight upwards twitch to Levi's lips, along with the eye roll. "So nosy… I've had glasses for years. I just usually wear contacts. Got a problem with that?" Eren shook his head again, a grin on his face. Levi rolled his eyes again and pushed his glasses further up his nose.

"Well, at least you aren't asking me to come out during the middle of the night. Unlike you, I'd rather not get mugged," Levi said, flipping his book back open. Eren took a sip of lemonade, watching the other man read, his storm-gray eyes sliding rapidly over the page. The lemonade was sweet and tart, the perfect blend between. It soothed the dry feeling that had cropped up in his throat on the way over and worked its way throughout his body, spreading out in icy tendrils.

"Does your family even know you go out at night?" Eren froze at the question, the red straw still between his lips. He glanced up at Levi, piercing gray eyes freezing him in place as they demanded an answer. He set the cup down and slowly began to type, fingers threatening to lock up. It was hard enough to type already, with his hands trembling subtly. The message was short and clipped. There was nothing to say, not about his family. There were some things that people did not need to know.

**No.**

Gray eyes slid back up from the message to Eren. It almost seemed like Levi was staring straight through him, looking right into his mind and heart as he searched for an answer. "You're smarter than I gave you credit for," Levi said with a nod. "I don't tell my father either. The idiot probably doesn't even notice I'm gone half the time." Levi shrugged and picked up his coffee up, the book closing around his thumb once more.

He held the cup in a strange way, grasping it by the rim and lid instead of around the sides. Liquid sloshed around the cup as Levi swirled it about for a moment. For several long moments there was nothing but silence between them. The sounds of the shop were clearly audible; the hiss of machines, the scrape of metal on metal, the friendly-sounding banter of the cooks, the ring of the register, and the chatter of people around them.

Levi looked up at Eren and leaned forwards slightly, pointing at Eren. His glasses slipped down his nose a little as his brow wrinkled slightly in thought. "There's something about you… I can't quite place it but there's something." Eren felt his eye twitch but he shrugged and smiled anyways. Instead of responding he opted to open the paper bag and pull out the cookie.

He glanced up at Levi, broke it in half, and passed one of the halves over to the other man. Levi glanced at it and looked at Eren for several seconds before glancing down at the outstretched half of the cookie. "You do realize your hands are probably filthy?" Eren rolled his eyes and dropped the cookie in front of Levi. He raised the other to his own mouth and bit down on the soft dough, the sweet taste of chocolate chips and vanilla exploding on his tongue.

Waggling his eyebrows daringly at the other man, Eren took another bite, a grin stretched across his face. Levi sighed and picked up the half of the cookie, fixing a half-hearted glare at Eren. "You're so weird." Eren watched as Levi took a hesitant bite. "Okay, I'll give you credit here. It's good." The grin on Eren's face somehow managed to stretch wider before he clamped his lips around the red straw, fighting to hold back the persistent smile.

Rain dusted the windows they sat by, sprinkling on and off over the course of the next hour. Most of it was spent in silence, simply sitting there and sipping their respective drinks and eating their half of the cookie. Words occasionally punctuated the silence, followed by Eren's silent typed replies. Finally, around five, Levi rose to his feet, cup and book, which had long since been closed, in hand.

"I've gotta go. Appearance is mandatory tonight at the house." A grimace crossed his face as he spoke, one of disgust and hatred. "See you around." Eren watched as Levi waved over his shoulder and walked out of the shop before he leaned back in his chair and sighed, a grin on his face.

* * *

**To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Yo, Mikasa what's up?**  
 **Sent: 5:23 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Not much. We just finished painting about thirty minutes ago. What's up with you?**  
 **Received: 5:30 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Eh not much. I just got back from the café; was talking to Levi.**  
 **Sent: 5:33 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **…This is the one from the park correct?**  
 **Received: 5:39 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Yup~**  
 **Sent: 5:41, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Did he just happen to be there or did you arrange it?**  
 **Received: 5:48 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Just happened to be there. He was reading when I got there. Speaking of which, would you guys happen to own a copy of A Game of Thrones?**  
 **Sent: 5:51 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **I think Armin might. I can ask if you want. Why?**  
 **Received: 5:56 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **No reason. I just heard that it was a good book to read. Asking would be lovely~ Sheesh, I keep forgetting how slow you text XD**  
 **Sent: 5:58 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Oh, okay. That is something I cannot help. Texting is bothersome and a waste of my time unless it comes to you or Armin. I've got to go now. Armin is yelling about something concerning a rat I think.**  
 **Received: 6:07 PM, July 22 nd** **, 2013**

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Haha, true XD Alright have fun~ tell me what he's screaming about later!**  
 **Sent: 6:09 PM, July 22 nd** **, 0213**


	4. Suppression

 

The house was cold, freezing in fact, but it was pure bliss compared to the heat outside. It was Thursday, the twenty-fifth of July, and  _damn_  was it hot outside. The rain had ceased, the clouds had scattered, and the sun was back in full force, leeching the moisture from the air. The temperature outside had already broken the one hundred degree mark and was still slowly inching its way upwards as noon closed in.

Being inside with the AC dialed down to sixty degrees was the perfect counter to the raging heat. That and staying inside all day, wearing nothing but a dark gray tank top and baggy, forest green shorts, which was exactly what Levi was doing.

The lights in his room were off, illuminated only by the blue-white glow of the laptop and the early afternoon glow that came in through heavily curtained windows. He sat on his bed, back against the headboard, glasses perched on nose, and a book in hand.

Music pulsed from the speakers connected to the laptop on his desk, a mixture of classical, rock, instrumental, and punk. It was a mix that Zoe had dubbed 'strange,' as if  _she_  was one to comment on strange things.

Speaking of which, that crazy woman would be replying any moment now. Levi could only hope that it wouldn't be something not even worth his time to respond to. That, however, tended to be the usual path of their conversations.

Zoe never failed to rant about her terrariums, which contained any variety of snakes, frogs, turtles, and insects. They came from both the wild and pet stores. Levi found it amazing that Zoe's father and stepmother could even put up with all the animals she was constantly bringing home.

He flipped a page, his eyes rapidly scanning over the print. Despite having reread  _A Dance of Dragons_  numerous times, he still couldn't help but go back and reread numerous sections again and again and again. The book was simply too good to not constantly reread.

His phone buzzed on the comforter next to him, jarring him from the pages of the book. He pinched the phone between his fingers and, sure enough, there was a text from Zoe.

 **From Zoe:**  
 **Come on Levi! You know you wanna! :3 besides my house it literally a two minute walk away AT MOST. Do I have to find something to bribe you? I've got popsicles if that'll work.**  
 **Received: 11:41 AM, July 25 th** **, 2013**

Levi rolled his eyes at Zoe's message.  _That woman never learns. How long is it going to take her to realize that there is no chance that I'm going outside today?_  He sighed and propped his book open on his knee. There was no point in getting a bookmark, as the response would be quick.

 **To Zoe:**  
 **No. You couldn't pay me enough to go outside today.**  
 **Sent: 11:44 AM, July 25 th** **, 2013**

He dropped the phone beside him on the bed and opened his book once more. Admittedly, he could have just stopped texting Zoe, but that tended to lead to her spamming his phone until he either turned it off or responded.

The song trailed off, changing to a song he couldn't name for the first few seconds. The name hit him about ten seconds in: "Painting Flowers" by All Time Low. His phone began to vibrate again, the sound muted by the gray comforter, and he spread his book open once more.

 **From Zoe:**  
 **Oh come on! Phil wants to see you! Besides, Petra is out. She won't be back till four or so.**  
 **Received: 11:47 AM, July 25 th** **, 2013**

A grimace rose to Levi's lips when he read the first part of Zoe's message. Phil was the name that Zoe had given to her Ball Python. It was unfortunate that she had acquired Phil before she could tell the difference from a male and female snake as that led to a slight identity crisis when Phil turned out to be a female.

The python had a tendency to twist itself around Levi's leg and not move for long periods of time. She had once clung to his left leg for nearly three hours before moving on to wrap herself around one of the poles in Zoe's room, place specifically for Zoe's assortment of snakes.

Petra, on the other hand, was Zoe's half-sister, and two years younger. She had been, for a lack of better terms, stalking Levi ever since he had arrived the year prior. If it was awkward when he went to Zoe's house and she was there, then it was even worse when Zoe had to bring Petra with her to Levi's home.

 **To Zoe:**  
 **But what if I don't want to see Phil?**  
 **Sent: 11:49 AM, July 25 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe:**  
 **Suck it up and get your pasty, white ass over here ASAP. Please.**  
 **Received: 11:52 AM, July 25 th** **, 2013**

Levi sighed and dropped his head back on his headboard. He would get no piece unless he caved to Zoe's demands.  _Perhaps that's why she's so demanding – because she knows I'll eventually give up and go along with it just to shut her up._

 **To Zoe:**  
 **Fine. Just shut up already.**  
 **Sent: 11:54 AM, July 25 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe:**  
 **Excellent!**  
 **Received: 11:55 AM, July 25** **th** **, 2013**

Levi grabbed his bookmark from the stand by his bed and dropped the book on to his bed to pick up later. He had to admit, getting out of the house  _would_  be nice.

It would mean that he didn't have to share the same breathing space as his father for another twenty-four hours straight before the man left on yet another business trip. Calling the man 'father' was a bit of a stretch, especially since Richard Rivaille had not been aware of his existence until about nineteen months ago.

He crossed the room and pulled open one of the dresser drawers, carefully rummaging through the neatly folded shirts in the drawer. He found a shirt within seconds, a white T-shirt with a black and gray koi on the front. Levi folded the gray tank top and set it on the comforter.

He dropped the phone into one of his pockets, pulled on a pair of clean, white socks, and a pair of dark gray tennis shoes. Levi shut his computer down, turned the speakers off, and left the room, shutting the door behind him with a muted click.

The second floor of the house was dark. No one else was up there to occupy any of the rooms during the day and since his father's study was on the first floor, where he spent most of his time. His father only came up when necessary.

Such times consisted of traversing the halls to and from his room and the rare occasions when he actually saw fit to speak face-to-face with Levi. Those were times that Levi detested for numerous reasons.

He slipped down the carpeted stairs and out into the main hall. His father was nowhere to be seen. It was almost a definite that he was either in his study or out with some unknown woman from some unknown place.

Levi didn't bother calling out or leaving a note. That would have been a waste of time for the both of them. He slammed the door shut on his way out, just in case his father happened to be home. Anything to irritate him was worth it.

No clouds, even small, wispy ones, hung in the sky. Only the sun was visible in the blue expanse overhead, beating down on the earth. There was a slight wind blowing, making the heat outside slightly less unbearable. Levi kept his eyes focused forwards and walked quickly, focused on getting to Zoe's and getting out of the damnable heat as soon as possible.

Luckily, Zoe lived only fifteen houses down, a straight walk to the right that only took two to three minutes to walk to and from their respective homes. Only a few people were outside. One elderly man with a wide-brimmed sun hat was watering his garden. A woman in a white shirt was walking, a small child in a tote.

Most people,  _sane_  people, were inside, where it was nice and cool, the AC on full blast to combat the heat wave.  _Note to self: murder Zoe if she ever asks me to come outside on a day like this ever again._  He reached her house, turned up the driveway/path leading to her porch and the two-story house painted a light, faded green.

The yard was drenched in shadows, provided by a thick, towering oak tree and several apple trees. Clusters of flowers and shrubs grew along the path to the porch, along with a small shade garden beneath the tree. Zoe's stepmother, Angie, was the plant fanatic in the family, and had stuck potted plants in nearly every room. She had even coaxed numerous climbing roses to scale the railing on the steps and the porch.

Levi ascended the steps, wary of any stray tendrils that were creeping their way across the steps, and punched the doorbell. He could hear the chimes from outside, loud and incessant. There was a thump, a crash, the sound of feet pounding into the floor, and the door was jerked open, revealing a breathless Zoe. "Levi! I was sure you were just saying that so I would shut up."

She flung her arms out, trying to envelope him in a hug. Levi ducked beneath her outstretched arms and dodged to the side. "I considered that several times. Now stop before I strangle you." Zoe stuck her tongue out, but ushered him inside anyways, pushing him into the living room. Everything was as Levi remembered.

The walls were still painted dark brown with green swirls resembling vines, the light gray couch and chairs were still in their usual places, and every available non-seating surface had a plant sitting on it. A cat lounged on one of the gray chairs, its long, stone gray fur blending in with the fabric aside from the darker spots that mottled its body. Lazy yellow eyes fixed on Levi as the cat looked up at him and blinked, its tail flicking from side to side.

The cat, dubbed Sophia, was a recent addition to the Hanji household, acquired when Zoe's father found her on the porch one morning, barely more than skin and bones. Zoe swept over to the feline and stroked her ears, cooing at the cat.

Levi rolled his eyes at his friend's actions and waited for her to do something other than coddle the cat. Zoe spent about fifteen more seconds petting the cat before she darted off into the kitchen.

A door opened and the quiet hum of a freezer entered the space. Levi could hear her rummaging about in the freezer for a moment before the door slammed shut and she emerged, a grin on her face and two plastic wrapped Popsicles in hand. "There's nothing to combat the heat like flavored ice!" She passed one to Levi and tore the wrapper off her own, revealing a rectangle of purple ice on a stick.

"Don't worry," Zoe said, holding her hand out for Levi's wrapper, "I definitely poisoned it." Levi rolled his eyes and slowly peeled the wrapped away until the Popsicle was revealed, orange in color. Zoe snatched the wrapper from his hand, darted off once more, and reappeared moments later, the wrappers gone. "Come on," Zoe said, marching towards the stairs to the basement, "Let's go, let's go! And don't roll your eyes!"

"Too late," Levi muttered, his shoulders jerking once in a slightly amused chuckle. He followed Zoe down the steps, shutting the door behind him before following her down the wooden steps to her room. Zoe had most of the basement to herself. Well, to herself and her pets, along with the collection of plants too delicate to go outside.

Shoved into the corner farthest away from the stairs sat her bed, the green and blue covers in such disarray that Levi's hands itched to fix it. Crammed against the wall to the left of the bed sat a dresser, bookshelf, and desk, all three covered with books and miscellaneous items.

She had arranged it so that the cages containing various animals were pushed into the corner to the left of the stairs. The glass cages were filled with an assortment of objects; branches, leaves, rocks, plants, water. Most of the reptiles and amphibians were inside their respective terrariums, all but one.

Phil slowly raised her yellow-and-gray-scaled head from where she was sitting on one of the numerous perches spread out across Zoe's room, which both the snakes and Sophia would occupy whenever the chance presented itself. Thankfully, Phil decided to stay on her perch instead of giving it up to coil herself around Levi's leg again.

Zoe sat down on the chair at her desk, pulling the other closer with her foot. Levi took the hint and crossed the room to sit down. "So," Zoe said, pausing to lick her Popsicle. "What have you been up to that warrants not responding even though both you and I know that you don't do anything."

Levi shrugged in response. "You're going to have to be a little more specific than that. I ignore you all the time." He had a feeling he knew what Zoe was referring too, but it was always wise to check before talking.

Talking about the wrong thing might lead to an accidental five-hour discussion, which had happened more times than Levi cared to count. Several had ended with Zoe having her mouth taped shut and her hands taped together. She still tried to mumble through the tape, which was somehow even more irritating than when she was talking his ear off.

"Well, first is the day when we had that big storm. You were texting me one moment and then you disappeared for like, an hour. You never did say where you went. And don't even say you lost reception. You could get reception with that hunk of plastic and parts six miles underground."

Levi winced at the mention of that night. He  _had_  stopped texting Zoe. He had done it in favor of going to the park, going to see Eren. However, she was exaggerating about his phone's capability of acquiring signals so far below ground.

"Then there was that incident a couple of days ago where you were in that coffee shop and texting me. Then you suddenly stopped replying for what, forty-five minutes? Then you decide to pick your phone back up and text me. What were you doing?"

Levi shrugged, not really wanting to answer. Besides, if he said anything about Eren, Zoe would jump right on that topic and not let go of it until she got every single detail out of him. That was just how she worked. "I just got distracted."

Zoe fixed him with a stern glare and bit off part of her Popsicle. "Sure you did, sure you did. Levi? Get distracted? I think not!" She leaned forwards, "Just tell me already! Don't make me put Todd in your bed while you're sleeping."

Levi couldn't suppress a shudder at the thought of that. Todd was one of Zoe's toads, a huge, wart-covered thing that was constantly covered in what had to be more slime than usual for an amphibian.

Just imagining that  _thing_  in his clean, perfectly organized room was enough to make him feel ill. "I'd rather you didn't," Levi muttered, glaring at Zoe. "And so help me God, if you come anywhere near me with that thing I  _will_  beat you within an inch of your life before running that thing over."

That comment earned him a stern smack on the forehead. Zoe grinned and leaned her chair back on two legs, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "Oh come on, he's not  _that_  bad. At least he's stopped trying to eat people's faces!"

Levi shook his head, "No, he is that bad. So filthy compared to your snakes."

Zoe shrugged in response, a helpless, but most certainly amused look on her face. "So," she said, leaning forwards, her dark brown eyes glittering with curiosity behind her glasses. "Are you going to stop dodging the question and answer me?"

_Damn, I thought she wouldn't notice. Either that or forget. Both were good options since they would both lead away from that particular topic._

"Come on Levi, please! You're supposed to tell things like this to your friends! Well, friend in your case, but that's not the point."

Levi glared at her again and shook his head. "You're such an idiot… Are you sure that you're the top of your class?" He received a grin in response, one that stretched across Zoe's face, seemingly from ear to ear. She flipped her hand in a circular motion, telling him to speak. Another gesture also followed, one hand in the air, the fingers slowly curling inwards.  _Tell me or I'll strangle you. It's your choice._

That led to another sigh from Levi. It was astounding how demanding Zoe was sometimes. She wouldn't give up, not now. She would keep pestering him until he finally told her, so that he could resist the temptation to stuff her in a closet. "I was talking to a guy I met in the park a little over a week ago."

Zoe leaned forwards, "Both times?" When Levi nodded in confirmation, she leaned even closer, barely on the edge of her seat. Her face was so close to his that the wooden Popsicle stick in her mouth was centimeters from the tip of his nose. Levi jerked backwards in his chair and brought his foot up, pressing it into Zoe's chest.

"Don't come any closer you insane woman," he said, agitated about having his personal space invaded so suddenly. Zoe grinned in response, but sat back down anyways, much to Levi's relief. It was infuriating whenever she broke into his little bubble of personal space. It was amazing he hadn't broken her nose yet because of that little habit.

"So, tell me about him!"

"No."

Zoe clasped her hands together, her face pleading and her eyes watering with crocodile tears. She should have known by now that those didn't work on Levi. "Please Levi?"

"No."

"Come on! You can't leave me in the dark! Was he cute? What's he look like? What's his name? What do you two talk about? He's bound to be taller than you." Zoe's voice was colored with light irritation and curiosity. The last statement was certainly a jibe at his height, or lack there-of.

"We talk about what life is like without irritating people like you."

"Oh shut up! Tell me the truth! I swear to God I will not stop asking until you tell!"

Levi sighed and bit down on the Popsicle stick, sucking off the last of the ice. "Fine, just shut up already." Zoe clammed up immediately and leaned forwards, her brown eyes glued to Levi's silver ones. "His name is Eren Jaeger. He's mute. He has brown hair, green eyes, et cetera. Anything else you'd like to know, you nut job?"

Zoe glared at him, her brown eyes burning with irritation. "Oh my God… Levi. That is not enough details!" Her hands slammed down on his shoulders and she shoved her face into close proximity with his own, her brown eyes wild. She shook him somewhat gently back and forth, the corner of one of her eyes twitching. "Tell… me… more."

"What more could you possibly want to know?"

"Tell me everything!"

"Then let go of me and sit back down."

Zoe removed her hands from his shoulders and sat back down on her chair, staring intently at him. "Now talk."

"Well… he's a hell of a lot less annoying than you for sure."

Zoe jerked back in indignation, a lighthearted scowl on her face as she glared halfheartedly at him. "Hey!"

"It's the truth. He'll be a sophomore this year."

"At Shiganshina?"

"Yes. First time I saw him he had this huge bruise on his face. He said he got into a fight. He liked the photographs I took." She looked excited at that. Perhaps he shouldn't have mentioned that fact.

"You let him see your photos?" A look of surprise cropped up on her face. That was obviously something she hadn't quite been expecting.

"Yes… why, is that a big deal?" It shouldn't have mattered who he showed his pictures too. Admittedly, he rarely showed them to anyone, so to someone like Zoe that probably meant something big. Something he preferred not to know about.

Zoe flipped her hand, motioning for him to continue. Her eyes sparkled with interest and she leaned forwards, eager to hear more. "… Never mind Levi, never mind. Just continue."

"He likes the park and seems to frequent it at night. Admittedly, I've only seen him there twice, but even so."

"Twice?" Zoe leaned even closer, a grin spreading across her face. It was almost creepy how much interest she was taking in this topic.

"Yes. I met him at the park the first time, about a week before the storm. Then I saw him at the park again on the night of the storm. Then I saw him in the coffee shop. The first and last incidents were coincidences."

"Wait… did you arrange the second one?"

"He asked me to come out."

"How?"

"He texted me."

"You gave him your number?!" Shock colored her voice and Levi rolled his eyes.  _She's so overdramatic. It's just a damn phone number. It's not like I gave him my life story, honestly._

"Zoe. Stop asking so many questions."

"Fine," Zoe groaned, drawing out the 'I' in her word. "You'll let me meet him right?" Levi shot a glare at her and she clamped her hands over her mouth, eyes scrunching up in amusement.

"No." Her hands fell away and her mouth dropped open at the reply. Levi shrugged and leaned back in the chair, ready to plant a foot in her chest if she lunged at him.

"Oh come on! You're an ass."

"Damn right I am."

* * *

The walk back to his house was better than the one to Zoe's. With the sun setting over the horizon, the heat of the day began to seep away, slowly, but surely. Levi walked slowly, in no rush to return to his home. Unfortunately, it was required to appear at his house for a few hours, just long enough to assure his father that he hadn't tried to run away.

Levi stopped at the sidewalk in front of his house and glanced up at the house, recently painted white, with small trees dotting the yard. Slipping out at night was always an option, but the nights became dull after a while with nothing to do but the same things over and over again.

He sure as hell wouldn't go to a club with Zoe again. She had insisted on talking for three solid hours. Levi couldn't even remember what Zoe had been talking about that night, only that she only shut up for maybe fifteen minutes throughout the entirety of their stay at the club.

Going to the park was tempting, but the likelihood of seeing anyone mildly interesting there was not good. Although Eren did seem to make the park a place he regularly visited. However, he was more likely to encounter muggers and such than he was to actually see Eren or someone he knew there.

Levi sighed with resignation and began to reluctantly trudge through the grass up to his house. He pulled the door open and stepped into the dark living room. The door slammed shut behind him, the bang echoing through the house.

"Levi!" The voice followed the slamming of the door by seconds, loud and exasperated. The voice belonged to his father. "Can't you keep quiet?!" He was sorely tempted to say no, he wouldn't keep the noise down, but that was a waste of breath.

The sound of a door opening and footsteps drew his eyes to the doorway off to his left. His father appeared seconds later, a slightly vexed look on his face. "Can't you keep the noise down? You're not the only one in this house."

Levi stared at his father, silver eyes meeting light blue. Appearance wise they were very similar. Both of them had black hair, pale skin, and slight frames. His father, however, had the height that Levi lacked, and blue eyes that he had failed to inherit. Their appearance was one of the only factors that made them similar.

He let the silence drag on between them for several long seconds, their eyes fixed on each other's. Silence filled the space between them, tension crackling through the air. "I'm perfectly aware of that,  _father_ ," Levi replied, his voice sharper than normal.

"Are you?" his father snapped, his frown deepening and his eyes narrowing. His father wouldn't hit him, not the trusted, loyal businessman who could do no wrong in the eyes of his friends and coworkers. No, his father had to keep up appearances. Besides, hitting Levi would mean that he actually gave a damn.

Levi moved over to the stairs, already starting to feel irritation trickle into his body, tainting his mind. It would have been easy to say something rude on so many levels but Levi managed to refrain from doing so. "Yes, I'm certain," he muttered, his gaze even, his voice icy. "Do you question my capabilities to be aware of things?"

His father threw his hands into the air in response. "Honestly Levi, I don't know what to think of you sometimes. You pay attention to some things and then completely ignore others! Do you even care?"

"Not really," Levi said over his shoulder as he began to climb the stairs, two steps at a time. He could feel his father's cold, blue eyes fixed on his back, but he didn't say a word as Levi disappeared upstairs.

Despite the urge to slam the door to his room, Levi managed to resist it and instead closed and locked it quietly. He dropped onto his bed and picked up his book once more, ready to read and tune the world out.

Twenty minutes later he found himself staring at the same page, rereading the same paragraph, no, rereading the same sentence. Normally, he would have become instantly immersed within the text, reading page after page until he managed to either draw himself away or fell asleep with the book still open, his lights still on.

Now he couldn't seem to focus, didn't want to focus. He was too agitated to focus on reading, too irritated at his father to do anything he normally enjoyed. He wanted to talk to someone, someone who wouldn't rant about the strangest topics to ever exist that is. Levi sighed and shut the book, dropping it back onto the comforter beside him.

He picked up his phone and started spinning it around between his fingers, unsure of what to do. After a few revolutions he turned his phone on. He opened the text messages and selected the third conversation down:  **Eren Jaeger**.

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Hey. Do you want to come to the library tomorrow? I've got nothing better to do.**  
 **Sent: 5:15 AM, July 25 th** **, 2013**


	5. Library

 

The library was filled with the quiet drone of muted chatter from the people sitting inside. Mostly high school and college students working on their summer assignments occupied many of the tables. Eren slid between the shelves, hunting for a book or six to occupy him while he waited for Levi to show.

They had agreed to meet at noon. Eren had showed up a half hour early, too bored to stay at home and too eager to meet the raven-haired man to wait. It also helped that his father was home due to a day off work. That made getting out of the house a much more appealing idea.

There hadn't been any beatings since Sunday, but that didn't mean anything. His father was like an active volcano: ready to explode at any time with terrifying force. Eren shuddered and clutched one of the shelves. He didn't want to think about that. Not here. Not now.

Emerald eyes flickered back up to continue scanning the shelves, searching for some books that sounded interesting. He had already acquired a sizeable stack of books:  _The Darkest Minds_ by Alexandra Bracken,  _Insignia_ by S.J. Kincaid,  _Shadow and Bone_ by Leigh Bardugo,  _Ender's Game_ by Orson Scott Card, and  _A Game of Thrones_ by George R.R. Martin.

Eren's drive to find most of the books came at Armin's recommendation, all except for the last one. That one was one that Levi had been reading. Eren decided that was enough for the moment and carried the books over to a table by a large window. It faced the park, so he could see the branches swaying in the light summer breeze, along with the people walking in the shadows cast by the canopy overhead.

More people were outside since it was cooler than the day before – about ten degrees cooler in fact. That was probably because of the storm that was rolling in, bringing with it heavy winds, blissfully cool weather compared to the previous days, and rain – sweet, sweet rain. Doubtlessly, it would be accompanied by thunder and lightning, but sometimes that couldn't be helped.

There were some bikers and joggers going up and down the sidewalks. Numerous cars rolled by, some packed with teenagers, others with a person or two in business suits. Eren set his books down, pulled his phone from his pocket to set it on the table, and tugged the chair next to the window out.

It was a relatively secluded table. There were bookshelves in front of him and behind, closing him off from the other occupants of the maze-like library. Few people even bothered to come over to the autobiography section. Well, that was what Armin had told him, but Eren took his friend's word on the matter.

Eren slid  _A Game of Thrones_ off the stack and peered at the back. It sounded intriguing with its talk of summers that lasted years, winters that lasted lifetimes, and mythical creatures appearing once more. Despite that, it didn't seem like a book he would have picked up if he hadn't had some incentive. The book provided some material to talk about with Levi.

He opened the book to the prologue and started to read. Five minutes passed, ten, before he realized he hadn't actually read anything aside from the first sentence several times before he had ended up staring blankly at the page.

The book closed with a smack and was set on the stack with a thump. Eren sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends, before he leaned over. He pressed his head against the wall and slowly, gently, beat his head against the wall several times.

 _Why can't I fall into books like I can with music?_ Music was easy. All it took was one line of music, maybe two, before it ensnared him with its beauty. Music could suck him in and never spit him back out if he wasn't careful.

It didn't matter if he felt like he had three hurricanes worth of thoughts bouncing around inside his skull once he picked up that violin or touched the piano. Doing that made everything melt away. That, unfortunately, was  _not_  the case with books.

Emerald eyes slid over to look out the window, seeking a distraction. It wasn't unusual for Eren to watch people walk by, so carefree in their own little worlds. He usually did that when he was feeling particularly bitter and lonely.

That was usually after his father had decided to beat Eren as if he was a punching bag. That or his father believed that he was one of those hunks of meat that Sylvester Stallone had beaten up in that one boxing move – the one Eren couldn't remember the name of. Eren started to beat his head against the wall again, a little harder this time.

_Stop thinking about Dad, you idiot. That's the whole reason you left the house in the first place. Okay, not the whole reason. Three-fourths. Half. One-fourth. One-eighth…? Oh, fuck it._

He stopped beating his head for a few moments and glanced outside again. Emerald eyes scanned the crowds, looking for a particular man with pitch-black hair and silver eyes. Eren watched for several minutes, the faces of the people instantly forgotten once he looked at them and realized they weren't Levi.

Each person brought a vague sense of disappointment. Upon realizing that, Eren started to beat his head against the wall again, clamping his eyes shut as he did so. The steady thump-thump-thump of his head against the plaster of the interior mixed with the almost-but-not-quite silence of the library, still filled with the muted murmur of voices.

"I didn't realize you were a masochist, beating your head like that." Emerald eyes flew open and he looked to the left. Levi stood there, his face bored. He was wearing a loose green T-shirt with a black bird on it, black skinny jeans, and white tennis shoes. There was a drawstring bag over his shoulder. On top of that, he had black headphones around his neck, a white hat on, his glasses, and – to Eren's surprise – black stud earrings.

 _… Hot._ He had to resist the strong urge to either beat his head again or cover his face in case he was blushing. Eren raised a hand in greeting, an idiotic smile creeping onto his face. "So shall I wait for a response on the masochist thing or should I assume I'm right?" Levi continued as he walked over and pulled the chair in front of Eren out from underneath the table. Eren flushed and picked his phone up, typing frantically.

**I'm not a masochist -_- ass… I was just thinking about something stupid.**

Levi nodded with a blank face. It didn't appear to be bored anymore, but with that stoic mask of his, Eren wasn't certain. "I'm guessing you think about stupid stuff a lot." Eren stuck his middle finger up.

The black-haired man held his hands up, "You're the one that asked to meet right before a storm if I remember correctly. If that doesn't spell crazy or stupid, I don't know  _what_  does." Eren sighed and rubbed his temples, but he couldn't deny the smile that was creeping onto his face.

**Yet you're the one who agreed… Who's the stupid one now?**

"… Shut up." Eren's shoulders shook with barley-suppressed laughter. It was too bad they were in a library. "It was on a whim," Levi muttered, silver eyes glaring at Eren. He didn't look angry, just irritated that Eren had pointed such a thing out.

**I can't help that your argument was flawed!**

"Yeah," Levi scoffed, "That's the only thing about me that  _is_  flawed."

**Uh huh, sure… you ever heard of a little thing called hubris? How about humility?**

The raven-haired man cast his silver eyes skyward. "Course I have. I'm not an uneducated brat. Now why would I believe in humility? Such things are useless when you can flout your talents. The fewer you've got, the more you show off. Well, usually." Levi shrugged helplessly, and tapped the top of the table. "Few people show any shreds of humility, let alone humanity, in this day and age."

**That's deep. You gonna go philosophical on me?**

The message was accompanied with a waggle of Eren's eyebrows and an amused smirk. Levi narrowed his eyes mockingly and reached across the table, hand outstretched and in a loose fist. Eren saw Levi's hand draw closer. Everything seemed to fade and merge, memories mixing with the present.

It wasn't Levi's hand, not anymore. His father's hand came towards his head, hand clenched tight. Adrenaline tore through his veins, bringing one question: fight or flight?  _No._ A bolt of fear shot through him and strangled noise came from his throat, a mixture between a groan and a whimper that never quite made it past his lips.

The chair flew backwards as he dove beneath the table, too panicked to think straight. He huddled beneath the table: emerald eyes clamped shut, heart pounding in his chest, his breaths coming in short, rapid gasps. He dug his fingers into his chest, trying to beat the fear away so he could calm down.

 _Not him not him not him not him. Levi is_ not  _Dad!_ The thoughts only helped a little. He knew he was acting as if he was crazy, he knew it, but the movements were so similar, so sudden, that he had reacted on instinct. "Eren, are you alright?"

He straightened up at the voice. His head slammed into the bottom of the table with a solid thunk. "Damn… it…" he groaned as he slumped back down onto his knees, clutching his now-aching skull. His voice was a rasp, hoarse and scratchy from both disuse and from a distinct lack of development.

Talking only brought a fresh wave pain searing through his throat and chest, and  _damn_ did it burn. It felt like someone had poured gasoline down his throat and into his lungs before lighting a match and shoving that down his throat. That was the closest approximation he could get to how it felt now.

Eren drew in a shuddering breath and one of his hands curled around his throat. His eyes were still clenched shut and damp with tears, but he bit them back.  _I can't cry. Not here._  It took Eren a few moments before he glanced up, emerald eyes slowly opening. Levi crouched in front of him, silver eyes trained on him, concern showing in those luminous depths.

Just seeing that look, the mask of concern on Levi's normally stoic face, sent a jolt through his body. It might have been happiness. "Eren…" Levi said slowly, one eyebrow arching upwards. "Are you alright? Are you having a panic attack or something?"

 _Oh yeah… I'm fucked._ Eren pointed up and Levi blinked at him, confusion flickering onto his face before understanding replaced it. Levi rose slightly and Eren heard the scrape of his nails as he grabbed Eren's phone and ducked back down. The black-haired man held it out for him.

Eren took it by the end, pinching it between two fingers. Not exactly the best way to grab something, but he wasn't exactly in the mood for touching, especially since he was entertaining the idea of making a mad dash for either the bathrooms or the exit. Both sounded like very appealing options. The window, while closer, wouldn't exactly make a safe exit, after all. He typed out a message, his hands trembling enough that it was hard to type.

**I'm fine. You just surprised me.**

"Uh huh… I'll take your word on it. How's your head?" Levi tapped his skull for emphasis. Eren couldn't help but roll his eyes at that.

**I'm fine seriously. It's not like I'm brain damaged or something from that -_- just a little bump on the head.**

"You sure about that? That was a pretty solid thump. You must have a thicker skull than I thought." If Eren hadn't been watching, he would have missed the miniscule smirk that crossed Levi's face for maybe a second before it disappeared. "Your voice… I thought you said it hurt."

**It does. That doesn't mean I can't talk -.-**

"Oh…" Levi murmured, shifting his weight a bit. "How is it feeling right now?"

**Like someone set my throat on fire -_-**

"Yeah, like you've ever had someone set a fire inside your throat," Levi murmured, silver eyes rolling once more. "Well…" the black-haired man continued. He glanced down at the floor, making quite the study of it before he looked back up at Eren.

"If it's any consolation, there's a nice ice cream shop down the street. They make some pretty decent stuff. That might help a bit. Or not. I don't know." Eren grinned and raised an eyebrow when he showed Levi his next message.

**Come with me?**

The black-haired man looked at the message. Silver eyes flickered up to peer at Eren. They moved back down to look back at the message. They came back up to stare at Eren one last time. Levi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "You're a brat, you know that right? Fine… I'll come. Only to make up for scaring you." Eren grinned and took one last deep, calming breath before he emerged from beneath the table.

**Give me a moment to check these out.**

Levi glanced at the stack of books that had been sitting, forgotten, beside Eren. "Sure, whatever. You didn't strike me as a  _Game of Thrones_ type of person." Eren shrugged and typed out another message before he picked the books up and pulled his satchel back over his shoulder.

**I'm allowed to read aren't I? Sides it looked interesting.**

That got Levi to nod in agreement. "It certainly is. Even more so if you like death, deception, or sex. Although I wouldn't advise watching the show around others." Eren stared at Levi and blinked a few times.

The raven-haired man met his gaze, his silver eyes dead serious. "No joke. Lots of nudity. Lots of sex. Tons of violence. You'll love it." Eren blanched at the last part, but Levi didn't seem to notice, his eyes fixed outside the window for a moment before he turned and followed Eren.

A straight walk to the checkout counter was impossible. Not because of the lack of straight paths towards the counter, although that was part of the reason why, but because Levi did a little book searching of his own.

Amongst the books that the raven-haired man selected were  _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_ by Stephan Chbosky,  _The Book Thief_ by Markus Zusak,  _The Fault in Our Stars_ by John Green,  _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_ by Stieg Larsson, and  _Memoirs of a Geisha_ by Arthur Golden. "My summer reading assignments," Levi explained when he saw Eren's questioning look.

The raven-haired man even took the liberty of adding more books to the growing stack in Eren's arms:  _The Lovely Bones_ by Alice Sebold,  _Pride and Prejudice_ by Jane Austen, and even  _The Tempest_ by none other than Shakespeare.

They walked through the maze of bookshelves, stopping occasionally to glance at more books. Some were added to their stacks, some were put back in their places. Eren's arms started to ache after a while. They turned down into another row and Eren heaved his books onto a shelf to give his arms a rest and glanced around.

They were in the music section. Levi had set his own books down in favor of scanning the ones in the music section. Eren typed out another message and stepped across the small isle so he could tap Levi on the shoulder lightly.

**Do you play an instrument?**

Levi nodded and turned back to the shelves, looking but not touching unless one seemed to catch his interest. "Yeah…" he murmured absently as he tapped out and extracted it from the shelf. "I play the piano." The silver-eyed man opened the book and glanced inside, his eyes skimming over the pages and notes. He missed it when Eren's eyes brightened and a grin spread across his face at that. The chestnut-haired man set his phone on the pages of Levi's selected book, another message on display.

**I play the violin.**

That brought Levi's gaze up from the book, a mixture of slight intrigue and amusement in those silver depths. "Do you now? Hm… how good are you?"

**Pretty good. I've placed in several competitions. Won in two.**

Levi nodded, the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly. "That's good…" he murmured as he closed the book with a snap and added it to his stack. "It's nice to find someone else who plays an instrument."

He pulled another book from the shelf and flipped it open halfway to examine it some. That was closed with another snap after only a few seconds of glancing. Levi slid it back into its place before he continued, silver eyes darting up to focus on Eren, his gaze intense. "It's so dull playing alone. Perhaps we could play a duet sometime."

Eren grinned and nodded vigorously in agreement. Levi straightened, coming just above Eren's shoulder. "Good… that's good. I've been aching to play a duet for a while… haven't found any idiot suitable. Perhaps you might fit the bill." Silver eyes fixed onto Eren's face, piercing and intense. Levi took a step closer, a small one, but closer nevertheless.

"A duet sounds fun. You like Beethoven? Maybe you like Mozart... What about Wagner? Chopin? Haydn? Debussy? Vivaldi? Tchaikovsky? You seem like a Tchaikovsky fan…" His voice was soft and light and oh so captivating. Levi's face had lost all the normal hard angles and the stoic mask had slipped a little.

Eren could see a glimmer of something, excitement maybe, in his eyes as he rattled off name after name of classical music composers. Oh, Eren would have killed to have been able to let his voice mix with Levi's. Eren typed out another message and passed it to Levi.

**Yeah, I'm a Tchaikovsky fan~**

A smile flickered onto Levi's lips. It disappeared almost instantly, but seeing it sent a happy buzz through Eren's chest anyways. He knew he was grinning like an idiot. He didn't care. "What's your favorite composition by him?" Eren bent his head to type and caught the sound of running feet, swift and rhythmic.

He glanced over his shoulder and his mouth dropped in surprise. Armin was running towards him, a huge grin on his face. The blonde didn't call out. That would have been too loud in the library. Armin took a few more steps forwards.

His foot caught in the carpet. There was a small, girlish shriek, and Armin flew forwards, hands outstretched. One caught the bookshelf. One slammed square into Eren's back and knocked him forwards. Eren's mouth opened in surprise as he stumbled, tilted forwards, and lost his balance. The floor rushed up to greet him. It stopped.

Two hands caught him by the shoulders and pulled him closer, wrapping protectively around him as Levi pressed Eren against his chest. His mind was slow to process, but his body froze, going rigid instantly on contact. He could have made an excellent plank if the need had cropped up.

Eren stared over Levi's shoulder, his face still a mask of surprise, his arms still outstretched. Soft black hair tickled his cheek, smelling faintly of lavender. With Levi's chest pressed against his, Eren could feel the muscles behind the deceptively thin stature. He could feel heat radiating off Levi's chest, feel the pulse of the shorter man's heart.

 _Feels nice…_  He thought flooded Eren's cheeks and his pulse skyrocketed. He was certain that Levi could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage. It took a few seconds, but Eren managed to get his limbs cooperating again and pulled away, jerking his arms back to his side.

Eren took one step back, two, and kept his gaze fixed on the ground. His face burned with embarrassment. He wasn't sure if he wanted to thank Armin or murder him. Eren dared a glance up at Levi's face. The raven-haired man looked at him, his face still impassive, although his eyes were a little wide. Was that a little smile there on Levi's face? Eren couldn't tell.

Armin jumped up and moved over to Eren's side, gripping his shoulder tightly. Eren flinched at the touch but held still, even though he itched to remove Armin's hand. The blonde's face was pale and his eyes were wide. "Oh my God, Eren, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry! I didn't mean to, I swear!" Armin spoke quickly, the words blurring together.

Eren smiled, set his phone on his stack of books, and started to sign to his friend, shaking his head all the while.  _"It's alright. Calm down. It's not like you tripping started World War III._ " Armin smiled sheepishly and put his hand to his head, clearly embarrassed. Eren glanced at Levi again. The silver-eyed man stared at the two of them, eyebrows raised and questions lurking in his eyes. He was probably wondering what Eren was doing.

"I know, I know," Armin said, clapping his hands to his reddening cheeks. "Still, that was embarrassing!" The blonde sighed and glanced over at Levi. Five seconds passed, then ten. Armin's eyes brightened and his hands fell away from his face, revealing a broad grin. Eren wasn't sure he liked the look in Armin's eyes. There was a devious spark in his eyes, along with a glimmer of realization. "Eren, is this Levi?"

Levi glanced at Eren, confusion showing in his silvery eyes. "Yes… that's my name…" He looked at Armin, his voice a little cautious, but he didn't seem like he was irritated at Armin's question.

"Oh, right," Armin said cheerily. "I forgot, he probably hasn't mentioned me. My name's Armin Arlert! I'm an old family friend of his. It's nice to meet you. Mikasa and I have heard a  _lot_ about you."

The blonde stuck his hand out, his smile somehow even broader than before. Blood rushed to Eren's face, staining his cheeks red. Levi glanced at Eren again and a small, amused smirk flickered onto his face. The black-haired man took Armin's hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you too, Armin."

 _Oh, Armin, please don't say anything embarrassing. Please, please,_ please  _don't._ The thought bounced around in Eren's head. He could only hope that Armin took a hint from the desperate look in his emerald eyes.

"So aside from getting books, what are you two doing here?"

"Talking," Levi said with a shrug. He gave no signs that he would elaborate on the matter.

Eren tapped Armin to catch his attention so he could sign to him.  _"We were about to check out our books and get something to eat."_

Armin's eyebrows shot upwards and he started signing back. Such were the benefits of having a friend that knew American Sign Language.  _"Am I interrupting a date?"_

Eren ground the heel of his palm into his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair. That was, hands down,  _the_   _most_  embarrassing question Armin could have asked. Ever. Especially right now. Eren could only thank God that Armin asked him in a nonverbal way. Now he just had to hope Levi didn't know ASL.

He punched Armin in the shoulder – gently of course, but he punched him nevertheless. That didn't stop his face from turning redder than before.  _"Not a date, you little sneak. He just asked me to come to the library. Stop jumping to conclusions!"_

 _"Fine, fine,"_  Armin signed and then turned to Levi. "So… I'll just get my books and leave you guys to it. Bye! "Blue eyes met his for a few moments. He could see the message inside Armin's eyes:  _You're telling me everything later._ Armin whirled around and walked away with a jaunty wave.

Eren watched him walk away, grab his books from his shelf, and turn the corner, disappearing from their sight. He turned back to face Levi, a small smile on his face. "Your friend seems very…  _energetic_." Eren shrugged and a helpless look flashed up across his face. Levi glanced back at the shelves and pulled a book out. He inspected it for a moment and set it onto his stack of books. Silver eyes flickered back up to Eren's face. "You ready to go?"

* * *

With their books in their bags, Eren and Levi walked down the streets. It was a little warmer and muggier outside than it had been before, but still cool. Dark gray clouds were rolling in on the eastern horizon. The storm would hit within a day, maybe two.

There were less people on the streets that before, probably heading back to work, but some still roamed the streets. They walked side by side, no words passing between them. Eren would have killed to be able to talk to Levi. There was nothing worse than walking alongside a cute guy like Levi and not being able to say something witty at any moment.

 _Ugh, I really should just stop thinking about stuff like that already. Reason number one: it's doubtful he's gay. Reason number two: Dad._ Eren ran his fingers through his hair as they turned right.

A cluster of chattering, giggling girls that looked to be around their age walked past. Eren shrank a little as the girls openly ogled at the two of them like they were something on display. The giggles didn't cease as they passed each other. Thankfully, the girls didn't attempt to speak with them. Levi didn't spare them a glance. That made Eren smile a bit.

Levi slowed his pace halfway down the street and turned to the right, where a little ice cream parlor had been crammed between a hair salon Eren had never heard of and a sporting goods store. The raven-haired man pulled the door open and glanced at Eren, "Come on." He ushered Eren into the store in front of him.

The soft tinkle of bells and a rush of cold air greeted them. The floors were made up of large, light orange tiles with smaller black tiles where four orange tiles would have met. Someone must have thought regular murals were boring because the walls had been splattered with over a dozen colors of pair.

Tables large enough to seat four were scattered around the front and back half, while tables for two's and three's lines the walls. There was a small line leading up to the light gray counter. Most of it was made up of students, ranging from middle scholars to college students. Levi turned his head up towards Eren's. "What do you want?"

**Just vanilla is good.**

Levi nodded absently, "It's always good to stick with the classics." Eren pulled the flap of his bag back, going for his wallet. He was glad he had thought to bring it, just in case the need for money had cropped up. "Oh, don't worry about paying," Levi said, doubtlessly guessing about what Eren was going for.

The black-haired man faced forwards again, his face impassive. "It's the least I can do for scaring the shit out of you," he muttered quietly. Eren smiled and shook his head slightly. Despite the tough demeanor Levi put up, he was turning out to be quite the softie. They reached the counter after a few minutes and Levi slapped a couple of somewhat crinkled bills down. The boy behind the counter passed them a cup and a spoon each: strawberry for Levi and vanilla for Eren.

They went to the back of the shop and sat down, Eren with his back to the wall. It was a good vantage point to observe the rest of the shop. Just on the off chance his father somehow knew where he was. His father would certainly be shocked to see him with another male, especially one he didn't know. He was bad enough around Armin. If he was called faggot for simply not bringing a girl aside from Mikasa home, Eren didn't want to know what his father would do if he found out his son was gay.

Eren dragged his gaze – and his thoughts – back to Levi. The raven-haired man dabbed at his mouth, bored but attentive. He wouldn't have looked out of place if he had been sitting with the Queen of England.

"So," Levi said, his silver gaze flickering up to Eren's. "Do you tend to make strangers the topic of discussion with your friends?" Eren stuck his tongue out. It was a childish gesture, but it was better than flipping Levi off, even though that option was tempting him ever so slightly.

He slapped his phone down onto the table, typed a quick message, and slid it across. As Levi read, Eren started on his ice cream. The sweet taste slapped a grin on his face. Levi hadn't been lying when he'd said the shop was good.

**No they just tend to pry. And I'd dare you say you stopped being a stranger after the third meeting.**

"That's in the job description of a friend unfortunately. God knows I would have strangled Zoe otherwise." A sigh accompanied the words, heavy and irritated when he reached the part concerning 'Zoe.'

Eren raised an eyebrow at Levi, not really wanting to start a new line of text. Was Zoe a friend? A sibling perhaps? Hopefully she wasn't a girlfriend. "Zoe's a friend, although, she  _is_  more of a nuisance most of the time. It's amazing how irritating one person can be. I'm surprised I haven't throttled her yet." Friend, Zoe was a friend. That was good.

**That bad huh?**

"You have no idea," Levi muttered. He jabbed his spoon in Eren's direction. The chestnut-haired man couldn't help but flinch at the sudden gestures in his direction. If Levi noticed, he didn't comment on it. "She insists upon digging into every personal aspect of my life. So damn irritating…" Eren grinned and flicked his phone around so Levi could see.

**Maybe that means she likes you XD**

Silver eyes rolled back, impossibly far. Levi shook his spoon back and forth. "If it's human, it's not for Zoe." A smirk flickered onto Levi's face, lightening the solid, stoic mask that was a constant for him. "I'm convinced she's either going to be one of those crazy, old cat ladies, or she's going to get eaten by one of the things she's around. Not quite sure which I prefer, to be honest."

Another grin shot across Eren's face and he chuckled a bit. "Ever read any H.P. Lovecraft?" Eren shook his head. Levi heaved a small, heavy sigh, but the smirk was still on his face, so he must have been joking. That's what Eren decided to assume anyways.

"What a tragedy. They should include his writings in the public system. Honestly, who wouldn't want to hear about Cthulhu?" Eren blinked. He had no idea what a "kuthulu" was. "Cthulhu… imagine a giant human with an octopus for a head and dragon wings. Very lovely. You should look him up sometime."

**Sound… interesting**

Levi shook his head again when he read Eren's message. "Ah, but the occult is a wonderful thing! Sometimes. It depends on which aspects you're looking at: virgin sacrifices and the other nine yards or chatting with the dead." The ebony-haired man shrugged nonchalantly.

His fingers started to tap absently at the table, a rhythm taking form within a few moments. Eren watched the fingers, enraptured by the slim, white appendages as they danced on the tabletop.  _I want to know what those fingers can do on a piano._

He slid his phone across the table. Levi's rhythm faltered a bit as he read, but his fingers continued to tap away to an unfamiliar rhythm.

The rhythm started with his little finger, which stayed down for a second before the ring and middle finger hit the table with their own little thump close together. There was another pause, this one a little longer, and then Levi's middle finger tapped the table. Another paused followed before his ring, middle, and pointer finger hit the table one after the other. The pattern started again after a slight pause. Eren did his best to commit it to memory.

**So you play the piano and you're a photographer. What, are you going to be a master painter next? How about a potter? Or perhaps you'll be a magician.**

"Okay," Levi said, holding one hand up and sliding the phone back with his other. "I might be good at two things, but those are the only things I  _want_ to be good at." He emphasized his point by jabbing at the table with the hand that had been tapping out rhythms. Eren bit down on his spoon and tried not to flinch at the sudden gesture. He wasn't sure if that had actually been successful or not.

Levi shrugged and set his chin on the palm of his hand, his fingers curled just below pale lips. "Besides, I'm useless when it comes to drawing and painting."

**What do you mean by that? And useless? It's hard to imagine you being useless.**

Levi scoffed, "My father would disagree on that last part. As for what I meant…" He cocked his head to the side and stared at the other occupants of the shop. Silence fell back between them.

Eren glanced to his left. The occupants of the shop had changed while he and Levi had been talking. Despite his strategic seat selecting, he had still neglected to pay attention, to be wary. He shuddered at the thought of what could have happened if his father had walked in. A pleasant afternoon would have quickly turned to Hell-on-Earth.

Emerald eyes returned to Levi when the other man's fingers started to tap on the table again. Levi was still looking away, his forehead scrunched in thought. An exasperated sigh escaped his lips and silver eyes flicked back up to meet Eren's. "My mother taught me how to play the piano when I was young." He turned so that they were face-to-face. "It's one of the few things left that I have of her."

 _Oh… shit._ Eren's face paled. Hopefully he hadn't managed to irritate Levi with that question.

"Oh, don't look like you've just accidentally run a person over," Levi chided, swatting at Eren's hand. "It's nothing you could have stopped, so what does it matter?" Unable to formulate a response to that, Eren shrugged and didn't type another message. "Exactly," Levi said.

Comfortable silence wrapped around them for the remainder of the stay in the shop. They left after a few minutes and stopped just outside, Eren moving to the right, Levi to the left. "That was a nice talk. Maybe we can meet up again sometime." Levi flashed him a wry smile. "Just try to aim for a time when it's both light and sunny out."


	6. Devils

 

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**Heeeey! How'd it go? : 3  
Received: 7:01 AM, July 26** **th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**Why are you up so early? Its summer... meant for sleeping in, not waking up at 7 in the freaking morning. I need coffee ASAP... How'd what go?**  
**Sent: 7:14 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**Sorry! I didn't think you'd wake up. Usually you sleep like you're on anesthetic or something. You're date of course XD**  
**Received: 7:17 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**... I can't even argue about that T.T It wasn't a date!**  
**Sent: 7:20 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**Exactly! Oh, you wish it was~ XD you're blushing, aren't you?**  
**Received: 7:23 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**Armin...**  
**Sent: 7:24 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**See, you can't even deny it! Seriously, tell me. You can get your coffee while I read.**  
**Received: 7:26 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**-_- It was pretty good**  
**Sent: 7:28 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**... Am I going to have to drag you out of your house so I can get every detail?**  
**Received: 7:30 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**I dunno. I'm still waiting on my coffee**  
**Sent: 7:35 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**Siiiiiiigh. Alright, get your coffee and get dressed. Meet me at the park in an hour. I've gotta take a shower. C ya there!**  
**Received: 7:38 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**... Dammit. Fine, I'll be there. Don't drown.**  
**Sent: 7:40, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**Yay! And I'd have to either be an idiot or drunk as hell to drown in a shower. Although that changes if someone was trying to murder one. That would complicate the whole I-won't-drown bit.**  
**Received: 7:44 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**Oh go take your shower already**  
**Sent: 7:45 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**Okaaaaay I'm going!**  
**Received 7:47 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin Arlert:**  
**Seriously though, I would have to have passed out in the shower with my head at just the right angle to drown on my own. The human body won't allow you to drown yourself. It's one of those psychological things, like how we can technically bit through our fingers, but a subconscious part of our brain prevents that!**  
**Received: 7:52 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin Arlert:**  
**Armin. SHOWER NOW**  
**Sent: 7:54 AM, July 26 th** **, 2013**

* * *

Zoe grinned at Levi, her brown eyes glittering with excitement as she stared at him. She stretched out on his bed on her stomach, her legs in the air over her back and her chin cupped between her palms. "Soooo," she said, "What happened yesterday? I mean, you didn't answer me  _at all._ Did you meet up with Eren?"

Levi glanced at Zoe, already tempted to smother her.  _I should have known she'd start talking about this. Fuck, I knew it from the beginning. I should have just refused to let her in. Hell, I shouldn't have even opened the door._ "Maybe," he muttered, pointedly turning away from Zoe. Pale fingers tapped out a rhythm on the back of one of his library books.

"Ah, you're tapping! You  _are_ hiding something!" Zoe accused. Doubtlessly, there was a massive grin on her face.

 _Dammit… stupid habit._ "So? Am I not allowed to see people?"

"I knew it!" she sang. Fabric shifting and rubbing alerted Levi to her movements. Either she was shifting on his bed or she was preparing to tackle him and wrap him in a bear hug. He truly hoped it was the former of the two. Thankfully, no arms were thrown around his neck or chest. She had just been shifting then. "You're so defensive too! Ah, Levi, sometimes you are too cute!"

"Zoe, if your voice got any higher you'd make an excellent tea kettle."

"Oh shut up," she laughed.

Levi turned in his chair again and stared at Zoe, who stared back, her face twisted. Her warm, brown eyes were wide, her mouth pulled up into a strange mixture of a grimace and a snarl while her eyebrows were scrunched. She looked like an idiot. "I hope your face freezes like that."

Zoe's face returned to normal and she stuck her tongue out. It was a childish gesture, but Zoe was practically the epitome of childish things. "What did you two do? Did you just talk? Or perhaps you made a move?"

Silver eyes narrowed at her questions, especially the last one.  _What does she think I am – a pervert_? "Come on, please Levi! Tell me!" Levi sighed and pressed his back against the edge of his desk.  _I could tell her. I could also just kick her out. Wait... no. then she'd just spam my phone with texts and calls till I talk. Dammit all to hell._ "We went to the library."

"Aaaand?" she pressed.

"We talked a bit. I managed to scare the shit out of him. He hit his head."

That was the part that confused him the most. It had been on his mind constantly since they had parted ways. The sheer terror in Eren's eyes had been startling. All he had done was go to rap him on the head. His reaction had been confusing then and still was now.  _Why would he react like that? Is someone hurting him? Is he one of those people who have a fear of being touched? Is it some mental disorder? Or perhaps he was being serious about being startled… Oh hell, I don't fucking know._

"Levi! How many times do I have to tell you to stop scaring other people?!"

"I just went to hit him in the head! I wasn't even going to hit him that hard!"

"That still counts!" Zoe smashed her face into Levi's bed and shook her head. "You're an idiot," she muttered, her voice muffled. She lifted her head after a few moments and set her chin on one hand, motioning for Levi to continue speaking with her other hand.

"I saw his friend. Armin. He's blonde. A little taller than me."

"Well, it's not exactly hard to be taller than you." Levi scowled and Zoe rushed on, her excited blather filling his room. "That's Armin Arlert! I've seen him around at school. He's really smart – top of his class last year. What happened after that?"

Levi shrugged, "Armin ran up and tripped. He knocked Eren into me." Zoe let out a little squeak of excitement there, but she was silenced by another irritated glare. "Is my life a sitcom or some shit to you? Armin and I talked a little."

"Details Levi, I need details. Every. Single. Damn. Detail."

Levi sighed and dug one finger into his temple, desperately trying to resist the urge to throw something at the eccentric brunette woman. "We went to an ice cream shop. Are you happy now, wench?"

Zoe's eyes snapped open and her brown eyes fixed on Levi, staring at him hard. She was silent for several long, tense moments. With Zoe, silence was rarely a good thing. "Was this a date?"

Levi smashed his palm into his forehead and sighed. It was amazing he hadn't strangled Zoe yet, it really was. "No, Zoe, it was not a  _date_."  _I wouldn't have minded if it had been._ "We were simply meeting up. I only took him there to make up for scaring him. Dumbass... you're always jumping to conclusions."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Now, did anything else happen?"

Silver-gray eyes rolled again, so far back that Levi lost sight of his room for a moment. "Well… he and Armin were gesturing to each other at one point. Mutes use sign language, right?"

Zoe tapped the side of her face with a finger, a thoughtful expression replacing her usual excited one. "Yes… those who are deaf and mute tend to communicate through sign language. We use American Sign Language – ASL. They offer it as a language course at school. Why?"

"No reason. I just wanted to know."

The brown-haired woman jerked her shoulders in a shrug and slid off Levi's bed. "Whatever you say, Levi darling!" she sang, dancing around his room.

Levi rolled his eyes and watched her move over to the door, where she had left her shoes. "Where are you going?"

Zoe glanced at Levi. "Grab your shoes. We're going out. We'll continue this talk as we go."

"Go where?" Levi growled, irritation coloring his voice and flashing across his face.

"We're going to the park of course! You need to get out of your house more! Plus we might see people who'll be going to school in the fall. I mean, you've met me of course, and you've talked to Irvin a few times, but that's it!"

"… Zoe," Levi groaned, burying his face into the crook of his elbow. "I don't want to go out. It's supposed to fucking rain today."

"And your point is…?" She sounded so confused about Levi's reluctance to go out. Then again, this was the woman who tended to venture out in the middle of brutal thunderstorms all in hopes of finding some animal or something. She truly was insane.

"I'm going to strangle you."

"No you won't! Not if you know what's good for you."

"I hate you."

"Good. I'd be questioning your sanity if you suddenly said you loved me."

"I don't care."

Zoe continued chattering on. Either she hadn't heard Levi or she was just ignoring him. That tended to be a tossup with Zoe in that regard. "Or I'd have to test and see if you had been abducted by aliens, copied, and had one of them implanted into your clone's body so that they could come and-"

"And I  _still_  don't care!"

* * *

Armin cut in front of Eren, started walking backwards, his blue eyes wide, and filled with interest, his hands behind his back, and an unopened umbrella clutched in one hand. One could only hope that the blue-eyed man didn't trip, although that was very likely. It wasn't like the paths in the park were level.

"Eren, are you  _positive_ that wasn't a date? I mean, it kind of looked like one from where I was. Plus, he took you out to that shop! Speaking of which, you were sooo not kidding about Levi being hot. He's got that dark and dangerous thing going for him."

Eren buried his face into his hands, attempting to conceal a blush that was all-too visible for his liking.  _Why, oh why did I tell_ Armin  _about this? Oh right, because Mikasa has zero experience with relationships and Armin provides input – lots of it._

"Have you guys decided when you're going to meet up again?" Eren shook his head. Armin shrugged and dropped back to Eren's side. "You really should," Armin said. "I think he likes you."

Eren's head whipped around and he stared at Armin, emerald eyes wide. The blush, which had been steadily leaking out of his cheeks, rushed back as heat flooded his face. If Eren could talk, he would have been stuttering in protest and embarrassment.

"Personally," Armin continued with a teasing expression on his face, "I think it was a good thing I tripped. If I hadn't known it, I would have said he was hugging you! You two looked so adorable! Well, you looked like you were about to pass out and he looked startled, but that's understandable. Maybe you should let me do that again."

Eren waved his hands frantically, eyes stretching as wide as they could go. Armin smirked and waggled his eyebrows.  _Evil... Armin is fucking evil._

"I don't think I've ever seen you that red either! You kind of looked like a tomato there for a while." Eren blanched. Had it been that obvious? Had Levi noticed? "Oh, Eren, I was kidding! It wasn't that bad! More like you started out pink and then you were red for a bit. It could have passed for sunburn, I promise."

Eren frowned and shook his head.  _"Not funny Armin,"_ he signed.

Armin grinned, "Oh yes, it was. It was so cute. How he caught you, your faces, all of it was perfect." A serious look fell across the blonde man's face and he grabbed Eren's shoulder, jerking him to a stop. The blonde man crossed his arms and stared at Eren, tapping his elbow with his free hand as bright blue eyes stared. "You really like him, don't you?"

Eren sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead. He nodded after a few moments and glanced back up at Armin. The blue-eyed man nodded. No surprise showed on his face. He must have known the whole time. Armin could be absurdly perceptive about people when he wanted to. "I figured you did. You don't exactly make friends easy. I think this is a record for you, especially after your mom... after your accident. He must have something special to him."

Armin glanced up at the green canopy overhead, spots of gray visible through the gaps in the leaves and branches. "Should I tell Mikasa not to kill him? Remember when I had a crush on Annie? Yeah, let's not repeat  _that_." Eren blanched at the mention of that. Mikasa, despite all her wonderful qualities, had the tendency to be ever so slightly overprotective over the both of them. That had doubled after the incident six years ago. A grin broke out on Armin's face, all traces of seriousness dissipating like water on a blisteringly hot day.

ren smiled and shook his head slowly. Armin was so erratic sometimes. They started walking again, moving idly through the park. There were less people out than usual. That was mainly due to the storm system. Meteorologists were predicting rain at around nine, but one could never know for sure.

Eren glanced up at the sky, covered with thick, gray clouds that stretched from horizon to horizon. A gust of wind buffeted the pair, throwing their hair all about and in their eyes. Leaves rustled overhead and some of the older, more unstable branches creaked quietly. Eren zipped his green jacket up, not eager to be that one idiot to catch a cold or some other ailment in the middle of summer.

"Hey, Eren," Armin murmured, his voice just audible over the rustle of leaves.

"Hm?" the chestnut-haired man hummed, glancing up at Armin.

His blonde friend stared forwards, blue eyes wide and mouth agape. "Is that Levi?"

Eren's head snapped up and he spotted two people walking towards them, their heads bent in discussion. One was a tall girl, about their age, her long, brown hair tied back in a ponytail and glasses perched upon her tan face. She was wearing a white shirt with what looked like a multi-colored guitar on it, black jeans, and sneakers. The other was instantly recognizable – Eren couldn't help that he had committed Levi's appearance to memory.

A broad grin spread across his face and he started to wave. The smile stretched a little further when the girl beside Levi noticed and pointed, Levi's head turning until he spotted Eren.

* * *

"Okay, you see that boy over there?" Levi sighed, but looked in the direction Zoe indicated. He didn't see any point in coming out. He didn't want to see any of the people who might be his classmates in the fall.

All he wanted to do was put some music on, maybe Tchaikovsky, and get started on one of those damnable reading assignments. Luckily, those would be easy – he could probably slap some shit down and still scrape a B at least. That was what he had done in middle school. Of course, his father was never satisfied with anything less than an A, but Levi couldn't bring himself to give a damn about that.

"Are you talking about the one with black hair?" Levi muttered when he caught sight of someone who might have been the one Zoe was talking about. It was a tall, lanky boy with cropped black hair and a pale face. A slightly smaller girl walked beside him, her short, blonde hair braided and over her shoulder. They were holding hands and talking quietly as they walked on the opposite sidewalk.

"Yep, that's him. Hey, Marco!"

The call carried across the street and the black-haired man – Marco – stopped, glancing around. He spotted Zoe and waved back with his free hand. The girl turned around and Levi blinked. "Hey, Zoe, it's nice seeing you!"

"You bet it is! Hey, I'll text you tonight! I'm taking my friend around!"

"Alright!" the boy called back. The pair started to walk again.

Levi could feel eyes on them and he ground the heel of his palm into his hand.  _Could she have been a little subtler or something?_ "Did you really have to fucking scream across the damn street?"

"Yes, Levi, of course I did." She clapped her hand on his shoulder and forced him to keep walking.

"That person beside him..."

"Oh, that's Nanaba."

"How do they identify?"

"Way to be subtle Levi."

"You're one to fucking talk!"

Zoe chuckled and shook her head, a huge grin on her face. "Well, Nanaba is a transgender female. Marco's cool with that, which is great for her - it was hard for her at first with some of the people around here. It's really helped her transition so far - he's encouraged her so much and helped her gain a lot of confidence.."

"Okay. I'd rather know now than fuck up later."

"Smart choice, cause that girl can whoop some ass." Zoe grinned and pushed on his shoulder again, propelling him forwards.

They turned the corner of one street and kept walking. Thankfully, few people were out. It was a combination of being out during working hours and the impending storm. That just meant they would get to the park faster. That in turn might mean that Levi would be able to return to his home sooner rather than later. "Come on! You move like an old lady!"

Levi growled in agitation, but walked faster. "Good, good! Hm, I wonder if anyone else will be out. Well, Jean or someone will probably have a party soon. You should come. Be social! Meet some people!"

"I don't want to meet people," Levi huffed, glowering at the ground. Why couldn't Zoe just drop it? Ever since she had realized he would be attending school in the fall, she'd been trying desperately to get him to go to parties and other social meetings. It was downright irritating. He would meet those idiots when he actually got into class, so why did it matter that he met them now and not later?

"Oh, right, you just want to meet  _Eren_."

"Say one more word and I promise I will tear your throat out." Zoe smirked.  _How have I not killed her yet?_

"Can't deny it, now can you? Oh Levi, you're so precious sometimes!" she sang. The few people who were out were starting to stare again. Levi punched her in the shoulder, his silver eyes twitching in irritation. "Ow! Dammit Levi, stop hitting me!"

"Then stop analyzing how I feel!"

"Nah, that'd be waaaay too easy! I wanna watch you squirm." She grinned devilishly and wriggled her fingers at Levi. Then she started waving her hands around, almost like she was conducting music. That or she was having some kind of fit. Levi was somewhat surprised that she didn't start rubbing her hands together and laughing like the manic she was.

"You're devil spawn."

"Ah, but that makes you the friend of devil spawn! So technically, it's your fault that we're even having this discussion. You know, you should let me meet Ere-"

"No. Hell fucking no. You'll taint the kid."

They reached the gates to the park and walked in. The leaves were rustling in the light wind. Overhead, the gray clouds were shifting and slowly meandering across the sky, not that it made much of a difference. There were no breaks in the flat blanket of gray that hid the blue beyond. "No I wouldn't! I promise! As your friend, I demand that I get to meet and assess him!" "You're the one that needs assessment – from a psychiatrist."

Zoe flicked him in the temple and sighed. "Levi... I'm being – why is that guy waving at us?"

Levi glanced up and followed Zoe's hand, which was pointing to a pair of familiar faces. Eren and Armin stood a couple hundred paces away, the former of the two waving like mad. The raven-haired man raised his hand and waved back before he started to walk again, heading straight for the pair. He didn't even want to see the expression on Zoe's face. She would doubtlessly hold today over his head  _forever_.

The two pairs reached each other within a minute. Eren had a massive grin on his face, along with a slight blush. It was adorable, something that Levi rarely thought – about anything. "Hey Eren," he said, a small smile curling his lips up.

"Hello Armin." Eren waved again, his eyes scrunching up, his face brightening even more. His face was a miniature sun that radiated happiness.

"Hey Levi," Armin said cheerily.

"Hey Armin, remember me? I'm Zoe Hanji! I had Advanced PE third period in the fall when you had Freshman PE. I still remember you getting hit in the face by Mike during dodge ball."

Armin winced and his hand went to his forehead, just over his left eye. "I thought my skull might have been fractured when I woke back up."

Zoe must have noted Levi's raised eyebrow because she started to explain. "We had a game of dodge ball in gym. Mike is a really tall, well-built blonde. Well, Mike grabbed one of the balls and chucked it at some bald kid. What was his name… was it Bonnie? Lonnie? Connie? No matter. So the bald kid dropped to the ground and the ball nailed Armin straight in the face. Poor kid, he was flat on his back for ten minutes, easy."

Armin's face burned dark red. "H-he's a danger to mankind! Note how I stopped playing dodge ball after that incident."

Zoe grinned and slapped Armin on the shoulder before she turned her brown eyes on Eren and she stretched her hand out. "Hello Eren! It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Levi's told me so much!"

Levi clapped his hand over her mouth too late.  _Dammit… Note to self: drown Zoe._ Eren nodded and hesitated for a moment before he shook her hand shyly. Zoe shook the chestnut-haired man's hand vigorously before letting it go. Eren tapped Armin on the shoulder and the blonde boy turned to look. All three watched closely as Eren started to sign, although two of them had no clue whatsoever about what Eren was signing.

The emerald-eyed man ceased after a moment and Armin glanced at Levi. "He wants to know how you two are doing. Also, he says to Levi, I quote,  _'I thought you hated rain. So why come out now?'_ "

"I dragged Levi out to see if we could spot any kids who might be in his classmates. We saw Marco and Nanaba."

"Oh, that's nice! Speaking of which, I need to see if Nanaba wants to borrow  _Beyond Good and Evil_ still."

"Ah, Nietzsche," Zoe sighed, a dreamy expression crossing her face. "He comes up with some interesting points!"

Levi rolled his eyes and turned to Eren, his eyes instantly on the taller man's face. "Ignore her," he muttered, jerking a thumb in Zoe's direction. She was blathering on about Nietzsche to Armin, who looked quite interested in what she had to say. Perhaps Zoe had finally found a friend to rant to aside from him. God knew that would save him hours upon hours of listening to her drone on and on and on  _and on._

"As for your question, I was forced out. Against my will. By this insane wench."

Eren raised an eyebrow.  _"Wench?"_  he mouthed.

Levi shrugged, "She might not be a prostitute, but she  _is_ a young woman. I'm still working on finding something that suits her better." The chestnut-haired boy grinned. Levi couldn't help the miniscule smile that crept onto his face. Eren's smile seemed to be contagious, but in a very good way as opposed to the nasty-ass way of bacteria.

"Levi, you'll spend a lifetime looking for a nickname that fits me!" Zoe laughed and clapped her hand to his shoulder. "Shall I get you a dictionary? Or perhaps I should get you a Thesaurus. Both are good options!"

Levi brushed her hand off and reluctantly dragged his eyes away from Eren in order to glare at her vehemently. "You know what? I think I  _will_ smother you tonight." He sighed and his eyes slid past her, looking at the bushes a little ways away. There was something ginger sticking out of the bushes. Silver eyes closed and Levi turned back to the three surrounding him. "Zoe, Petra is in the bushes."

The eccentric woman twisted around and glanced at the bushes. "Hey Petra!" she yelled, flailing her arm as she waved to her half-sister. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi saw the head of orange hair disappear into the bushes.

Armin glanced at him, one blonde eyebrow raised. "Dare I ask?"

Levi shook his head and sighed. Of all places, why did Petra have to follow him  _here_? "Don't, just don't. It's probably best if you don't know."

"Ah… alright," Armin nodded, glancing back towards the bushes, an amused glimmer in his eyes.

"So what are you two doing out here?" Zoe asked, her head tilting slightly to the left.

"Eren and I were discussing some things," the blonde man said. "You know, like how those Red Sox are doing."

"You actually support the Red Sox?" Zoe whispered, her eyes widening. She grabbed Armin by his shoulders and started shaking him gently. "No! Come back to the Dark Side! Don't go over to those heathens! Support your local Titans!" the brunette woman cried. That was when she decided to start sobbing on Armin's shoulder.

The blonde man, arms still in the air, stood there for a moment before he glanced at Levi and Eren. "Help… me."

Levi grabbed Zoe's shirt collar and wrenched her back, pulling her off the blue-eyed man. He hauled her up until her face was a few inches from his. Irritated silver eyes glared into maniacal brown orbs. "Zoe, I will slaughter you."

"Why slaughter?"

"Because  _slaughter_  can't with spelled without  _laughter_." The raven-haired man let Zoe go and glanced at Eren and Armin. The latter of the two looked more than a little relieved. Eren, on the other hand, looked a little startled, but he smiled when he noticed Levi looking at him. His emerald eyes brightened, the light dusting of pink still on his cheeks.

He wanted to touch Eren's cheek so bad, to let his fingers linger there. Levi jammed his hands in his pockets instead so he could resist that urge. A vexed look crossed Eren's face. The emerald-eyed boy glanced at Armin, who was chatting with Zoe about physics or something. Levi didn't exactly bother to pay attention.

Eren pulled his phone from his pocket and typed out a quick message, tan fingers flying across the keyboard.  _Now that I know, he really does have hands for violin. Hell, he could play piano too. Long, thin fingers with lots of flexibility… Oh, stop thinking already._ Eren finished typing and passed the phone to Levi so he could read.

**Thanks for yesterday. I had a lot of fun :)**

A soft smile crossed Levi's face. "No problem. I had fun to. It was a relief to get out of the house." Eren nodded in agreement and he met Levi's eyes for a moment before he looked away and started to type again.  _What was that in his eyes? Something strange…_ Before Levi could chase that thought much further, Eren held the phone out again. His cheeks were redder now than before. Seeing him blush sent a jolt racing down Levi's spine, warmth trailing after it.  _Note to self: make him blush more._  Levi took the phone from Eren, silver eyes skimming over the message.

**I'd really like to hear you play the piano sometime**

"And I'd like to hear you play the violin," Levi murmured as he passed the phone back. "Perhaps you could come over sometime and listen. Maybe you could even bring your violin." A vibrant grin stretched its way across Eren's face and he nodded eagerly. His emerald eyes were bright and brimming with happiness. It was like watching a sunrise – beautiful and slow, but once it was there, it seemed like nothing could erase it. The taller man started typing again and passed the phone back. Levi reached out to take it when a voice interrupted him.

"Hey, faggot."

Levi's hand stopped moving towards Eren's. The two conversations screeched to a halt. Levi's eyes, still fixed on Eren, didn't miss the tremor that ran through the man's body. They didn't miss the flash of fear in his eyes. The raven-haired man turned around ever so slowly.  _Calm face, calm face._ The chant echoed in his head, helping him keep his face passive despite the urge to bare his lips and snarl as if he was some feral animal.

There was a kid standing a few feet away. His hair was ash-blonde, short in the front and a little longer in the back, with the under layer of his hair dyed black. His brown eyes were narrowed with irritation and disgust, but there was also something else there. Levi couldn't quite place it, not that he wanted to. The kid looked about Eren and Armin's age.

"What did you say?" His voice was the embodiment of frigid, cold enough to freeze blood. Silver eyes glared at the blonde man, daring him to speak again. Thinly veiled threats lurked behind the silver orbs.

The man looked a little uncomfortable, but that didn't stop him from running his mouth. "You heard me. Faggot. Or do you need me to spell it out for your rotted brain?"

Levi's eye twitched and he curled his fingers into fists. "Levi…" Zoe whispered, setting a hand on his shoulder. "Don't do anything rash."

The raven-haired man knocked her hand off and stalked forwards. Levi stopped just in front of the man. "Yeah, I am a fag. You got a  _problem_  with that, you little fuck?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well suck it up, bitch. I'm not gonna fucking change to fit your fucking ideals."

The blonde man's brown eyes flickered over Levi's head for a moment. The thing lurking in his eyes was more visible now – pain and regret. What for? The brown eyes fix back on Levi after a second and they hardened again. "Why don't you go back and suck your boyfriend's cock or something? We might have a stroke of luck and you'll choke."

"Choke on this," Levi snarled. He grabbed the man's collar and pulled his left fist back. His hand slammed into the man's jaw, snapping his head to one side with a satisfying crack. The kid slumped, still conscious, but he was stunned and disoriented. Levi let go of his collar and the blonde man's legs wobbled but held. "You wanna walk away now, or do I have to kick your bigot ass to the curb?"

"Like a scrawny little queer like you could do that." His voice was thick and his cheek was already starting to swell and discolor. It wasn't broken – Levi hadn't hit him hard enough for that – but he'd have some lovely bruises on his face for a while.

"Jean, just shut up!" Zoe yelled at the man, her voice hard and cold. So Zoe knew this little shit heap. It would certainly be unfortunate if this Jean man were her friend.

"Try me," Levi growled. Pale hands grabbed Jean's shoulders and held the man still as Levi rammed his knee into Jean's stomach. All the air in the blonde man's lungs rushed out and Levi pulled away, shoved Jean backwards. The tall blonde man stumbled backwards and doubled over, wheezing and coughing.

A hand landed on Levi's shoulder before he could step forwards to deal out more punishment. He glanced back, his silver eyes cold and pale face tight with rage. Zoe shook him gently and leaned close. "Don't do it," she breathed, her voice holding the same wrath that Levi felt coursing through his veins. "It's not going to change anything. Besides, you don't want Eren to be afraid of you, right?"

Levi shook his head and sighed. He turned his back to Jean and walked back to Eren and Armin. "Are you okay?" Armin whispered with concern in his blue eyes.

Levi nodded, but it wasn't Armin's concern that he sought. His silver eyes were glued to Eren's face, watching him close. The emerald-eyed man looked startled and his face was a little pale. The remnants of anger drained out of him when he saw Eren's face. "Eren, are you alright?" His voice was soft and even.

Eren hesitated but nodded, a small smile flickering to life. Levi breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that. If Eren was smiling, then he was probably all right. Now that he was calm, the hand he had punched Jean with was starting to throb a little. Maybe he  _had_ punched the other male harder than he initially assumed. Eren held his hand up and reached for Levi's left hand. The raven-haired man let him take it.

Slim, tan fingers carefully cradled his pale hand. Eren's hands were warm. The contact sent pleasant chills racing down Levi's spine. The chestnut-haired man brushed Levi's knuckled with his thumb. "I'm fine. I just punched him on the bone a little harder than I thought I would."

Eren nodded and released Levi's hand, his warm hands falling back to his sides.  _You didn't have to let go…_ Levi shook his head and glanced back at Jean who shot a glare at Levi and slowly limped away, one hand still on his abdomen. "I suppose we should go in case that bastard starts shit up again."

"Probably," Armin murmured. "Hey Levi, I'm sorry Jean was such an ass to you. He's usually better than that. He's never really made a comment like that around Eren and I, so I don't know why he'd attack you and not us. I suppose it has something to do with his mother. She's not exactly the most stable of people."

Levi shook his head, "It's fine, I don't mind. I probably shouldn't have beaten him up. That was a little rash."

Zoe snorted, "Only a little?" Levi elbowed her in the side. "Bye Armin, bye Eren!" Zoe sang, wrapping them both in a crushing hug.

"Bye… Zoe," Armin managed to gasp out while she had him clutched in a bear hug. Eren opted for waggling his fingers at her.

"Bye Armin." The blonde boy turned to Levi and smiled, raising his hand to wave, "Goodbye Levi."

Levi turned to Eren and bit his lip. "Well… I guess I'll see you around Eren."

The chestnut-haired boy raised his hand and hesitated for a moment before he glanced down and pulled his phone out. A small blush colored his still-pale cheeks. Levi watched as Eren slowly typed out a message. His hands were shaking so hard it looked like he could barely type. Silver-gray eyes watched as Eren tapped the same button several times – deleting characters. Eren glanced up at Levi, the blush darkening. Emerald eyes caught Levi's eyes, so wide, nervous, and innocent. There was no thought, only action.

Levi took a step forwards and grabbed Eren's arms gently, curling his fingers around his warm arms. He didn't hesitate as he stretched up and leaned close – silver eyes still locked with emerald – and pressed his lips against Eren's. Levi wanted to linger, but he pulled away almost instantly and dropped his hands back to his sides. Both of them were frozen. Eren stared down at him, eyes wide and shocked, his mouth open a little.

Feelings of nervousness that had been nonexistent seconds before slammed into him.  _Ah, shit… I really should have thought that through._ The chestnut-haired man still gaped at him.  _Fuck, what was I thinking? I'm an idiot, such an idiot._

Levi grabbed Zoe – who was openly goggling at him – by the arm and dragged her off. It wasn't easy to move as fast as possible when toting an unwilling passenger. "Wait, Levi, wha-"

"Shut up shut up shut up."

* * *

Eren curled up on his bed in the darkness, staring blankly at the wall. A pillow was pressed tight against his chest, his face buried into the top of it. His phone was lying near his head. He could still feel Levi's mouth on his, still smell that faint scent of lavender. It was impossible to get it, him, off his mind. His face flared red again, both with embarrassment and with happiness.  _I should have done something. I'm such an idiot._

A sigh dragged its way from his throat. After a few moments, Eren pulled his face away from the pillow and rolled onto his back so he could stare blankly at the white ceiling instead of the wall.  _I should text him… I should tell him that I liked it. And that I was just surprised._

He could still see the sadness in Levi's eyes when Eren had simply stood there and stared. That was something that wouldn't get out of his mind either. He sighed and rolled back over onto his side so he could pull his phone back down. One press of a button and the screen lit up. A swipe unlocked it. Another took him to his Notepad app.

Eren opened the app and stared at the line of text he had typed. The one he had been typing before Levi had kissed him. The one he did on a whim once he had realized that Levi had actually admitted to being gay. The one he had been too nervous to type, too nervous to show the raven-haired man before he had bolted away, sadness in the silver depths of his eyes.

**I like you.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just say that yes, I am aware that Jean and Petra's personalities aren't' quite what they're s supposed to be. I'm aware that they are a bit OOC at the moment. However, they later go through character development. I'm sorry i it irritates you, but I am not trying to purposely degrade them.


	7. Dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abuse.

 

Eren rolled over and slowly opened his eyes, brain still fuzzy with sleep. The room was still dark. The curtains were tinged with gray light.  _What time is it...?_ He couldn't remember falling asleep – just staring at that message, burning it into his mind.  _Damn... I should've done something..._

Sheets rustled as he rolled onto his back and stared at the white ceiling. One hand slowly rose until his arm was straight and his palm was pointed straight at the ceiling. Eren alternated staring at his hand and at the ceiling.  _I should text him. I should tell him. I know Armin is gonna freak if I don't._

He sighed quietly and shut his eyes, hand coming back down to rest on his chest, where he clutched the cloth above his pounding heart.  _Am I brave enough to do it? I really should think about this later... after coffee._

Something downstairs shattered, the sound like that of a ceramic mug hitting the tiled floor. In the silence of the house, it sounded like a gun had gone off. Emerald eyes flew open. Fear ripped through Eren, tightening his chest and closing his throat. Heavy thumps and a stream of curses, furious and thunderous, reached Eren seconds after the first sound. The voice, although muffled, was his father's without a doubt.

Eren quailed and sat up, pressing up against the wall. He wasn't one to beg or pray, but he was begging to whatever deity that would listen for one thing:  _don't let Dad come upstairs_. Eren hunched over and hugged his knees, compacting himself into a ball. Maybe, just  _maybe_ , if he didn't make a sound, his father wouldn't come up. A few moments passed. No other thumps followed.

Eren let out a shaky breath, one he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Perhaps his father was done. A heavy thump sounded. Another followed the first. That second thump was followed by several more. They were drawing closer. They were rising. His father was coming up the stairs. Eren's head whipped around, emerald eyes wide, as he looked for a place to hide.

There was nowhere to go, not unless he wanted to jump out the window and risk breaking a leg. The thumps drew closer.

Fear pounded through his veins and clouded his mind. Eren backed up on the bed. Something clattered to the floor. He glanced down. His phone lay on the floorboards, back up. The doorknob rattled, sending his eyes shooting back up and freezing his body. The door opened and the light flickered on, bright and blinding after the sweet darkness of the room.

His father stood in the doorway, looking painfully sober and terrifying in his wrath. "Eren... come here." His voice was colder than ice and sharper than a knife.

He had two options, he always did. He could refuse and stay where he was or he could comply with his father's demands. Actually, to call the former an option was a stupid choice. The punishment would only be worse if he stayed put. "Now!" he roared when Eren failed to move immediately. Eren scrambled from his bed and dragged himself in front of his father.

It was hard to hide the tremors that ran through his body. It was even harder to keep his breathing even in an attempt to keep from passing out. Father and son stood there for several long, silent moments, each watching the other closely. It wasn't man looking at man: it was predator staring down prey.  _What is he going to do?_

His father's hand cracked across Eren's face, snapping it to the right. It took a moment for the numbness in his cheek to fade, throbbing pins and needles of pain replacing it as it seeped away. "Why didn't you tell me you left yesterday?" Malice filled his voice. Both of them knew Eren couldn't ' _tell_ ' him. Both of them knew why that was.

Anger flashed across Grisha's face and he shoved Eren, hard enough that the chestnut-haired boy stumbled back. Eren fought to right himself and overcorrected, falling to the floor on his ass with a heavy thump instead of remaining upright. His father pounced, taking advantage of his son's fall.

He lodged one knee into Eren's abdomen, enough pressure on it to keep him from rising. Two hands wrapped around his throat, thumbs just above the base of his throat. Eren froze beneath his father, every limb, every muscle locking out. The fear had turned to full-blown panic and terror.

_No. Not again!_

His father's hands began to tighten around his throat. The thumbs started to press down against his it. Eren's throat closed, no help from his father needed. Tears prickled at his eyes, forcing their way out despite his silent protests. They trickled down the sides of his face, falling into his hair. His heart hammered in his chest, terror sending it on a frantic rhythm.

His father's hands tightened a little more, squeezing Eren's windpipe tighter. It was hard to get air through. Eren's hands shot up and he tore at his father's wrists, nails digging in and straining to pull the hands away from his throat. Grisha only increased the pressure on his throat and chest. He couldn't breathe. Eren jerked against his father, trying in vain to break free.

_Can't breathe... can't breathe... can't breathe! Not again not again not again not again!_

One hand fell away from his father's and started frantically searching the floor, looking for something,  _anything,_ that would help. Emerald eyes rolled around their sockets, tears freely streaming. The edges of his vision were going fuzzy. Eren's mouth opened as he gasped, saliva leaking out of the corner of his mouth as he fought to draw air in to his empty, burning lungs. Only the smallest of breaths managed to make its way to his lungs. It wasn't enough. The panic was overwhelming.

_Nonononononononono. Not again!_

Black spots danced across his vision and things were starting to lose focus. His hand closed around a book and he brought it up, right at the black spot where his father's head was. There was a thud and a small curse, but the hands and knee disappeared all the same.

Eren dropped the book and rolled onto his side, gasping and dry heaving, as tears continued to pour from his eyes. One hand clutched his stomach and his forehead was pressed against the floor, his other hand beside it. "Bitch..." his father muttered. A foot smashed down on his hand, grinding the fingers into the ground. Eren couldn't find any breath to cry out in pain.

He ground his head into the floorboards, still convulsing and shuddering, as he waited for his father's foot to disappear. It came off his hand after a moment. His father muttered something and walked out, the door slamming behind him.

It took a few minutes, but Eren finally managed to stop the mixture of dry heaving and gasping. He slumped down against the floor, tears blurring his vision. His fingers throbbed. His throat and lungs burned. His heart hammered away in his chest, slowly starting to slow once he realized that things really were over for the moment.

Eren rolled onto his side and cradled his throbbing hand to his chest, whimpering when the movement sent bolts of pain racing through his arm. The fingers of the other rose to his throat and started to feel, gingerly pressing down around his vocal cords.

They didn't feel any different, not like they had the last time. There was the possibility that the damage was further down, too far for him to feel. Hopefully, there wouldn't be any damage. The doctors had said it wouldn't take much more too completely destroy his voice. Eren took another breath and sat up, grimacing at the pain in his throat, chest, and hand.

He rose after a few moments and stumbled to his door, where he paused to listen. No sounds. His father must have left for work. Even so, Eren cautiously opened the door and glanced around before he stumbled into the bathroom, still dizzy. He pulled a washcloth out and started scrubbing his face, wiping away the dried trails of tears and spit.

Eren glanced up after a few minutes, the warm, damp washcloth pressed up against his cheek. A tired, pale-faced boy stared back at him with red-rimmed emerald eyes. There was a misshapen red ring that snaked around his throat, the outlines of a thumb and several fingers visible. Eren shuddered and set the washcloth down, staring into the white bowl of the sink. He raised his uninjured hand and ghosted his fingers along the red ring.

It looked like the one from six years ago.

* * *

Levi leaned back in his chair and rubbed his tired, aching eyes. Silver eyes flickered over to the window. Pale gray light was starting to seep through the curtains. That put the time around what, six-thirty? Levi glanced at the clock on his computer. 6:37 AM.

Staying up all night wasn't exactly his greatest idea in the world, but after the events of the day before, he couldn't sleep. Hopefully he would be able to last another twelve or so hours before he keeled over and succumbed to unconsciousness.

He sighed and leaned back, letting his head drop back so he could stare at the white ceiling. How much longer did he have until Zoe started pestering him again? The woman's sleep schedule was as erratic as she was. No matter what time she woke, she would doubtlessly continue to pester Levi.

She had attempted to do so as he dragged her out of the park. She had done so on the way home, where he had left her standing on his doorstep when he slammed the door in her face, too embarrassed to talk. He hadn't answered any of her numerous text messages, calls, or IMs. Zoe was nothing if not persistent – and crazy.

The raven-haired man shook his head and straightened up so he could look at the computer screen again. A folder was pulled up. It was one of many folders containing photographs he had taken over the years.

This one in particular was from the summer he had spent with the Swanson family in Tillamook, Oregon nearly three years ago. Most of the pictures were from their trip to Ecola State Park, although he had a few of Mr. and Mrs. Swanson.

They had been nicer than most, but had only been a temporary place to stay, cut short by the lung cancer wreaking havoc on Mr. Swanson. He died three months after Levi left, leaving his wife three months pregnant and alone.  _I should probably ask her how Maria is doing…_

He clicked out of the folder, back to the main folder. Sixteen other folders sat there, waiting to be opened once more. Levi shut his laptop down and rose, stretching stiff muscles as he did so. Something started rattling, an obnoxious buzz filling the room. Levi stared forwards, blank about what the sound was before his tired mind clicked and he strode over to his bookshelf.

He snatched his vibrating phone off one of the shelves and glanced at the caller ID.  **Call from Zoe Hanji**. Well that wasn't surprising. He punched the accept button and brought it up to his ear. "What do you want, crazy glasses?"

_"Oh my God, Levi, I can't believe you! Ah, why didn't you pick up yesterday? So mean… Anyways, I'll get right to the purpose of my call."_

How the hell could she sound so cheerful at six forty-fucking-five in the morning? She must have had a caffeine drip or something. "No, no," Levi muttered. He crossed his room and fell back onto his bed so he could stare up at the ceiling. "By all means, take your time. It's not like I'm doing anything. Talk about your science shit."  _Yes, talk about that. That'll take a good… four, five hours. I could definitely sleep through that._

 _"Are you being serious?"_ Zoe sounded skeptical. It was understandable. No one wanted to hear her rant for hours upon hours about the animals she had found while crawling through filth.

Or perhaps that was just Levi's opinion. He wasn't quite sure. "Oh, totally," he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Even a deaf man could have heard it.

 _"Meanie,"_ Zoe grumbled. The brown-eyed woman was certainly pouting at the loss of another chance to tell Levi the wonders of animals and plants.  _"I'm assuming that means I can get down to the reason why I called. I can't believe you did that! That was so. Damn. Cute!"_  Her voice rose to a shrill squeak at the last few words, harsh enough that Levi jerked the phone a few inches away from his ear. The ranting continued. How the hell did her parents not hear her?

_"I mean, that was straight up out of the blue! I would have expected Phil to do backflips before something like that! Dammit, you should have given me some warning. I could have gotten a picture! Wait. I can just ask Petra if she got one. I think she was still hanging around at that time. Ah, I'm just thankful I have an excellent memory."_

Was she ever going to stop? At least her voice had dropped back to a tolerable level. Levi pressed his phone back to the side of his face. "Take a picture and I'll kill you," he said. Zoe only laughed in response, a little static coming with her laughter. She had long since ceased to take his threats towards her and her person seriously for the most part. Even so, she knew there was a boundary, which she had learned months ago and only poked a toe over nowadays.

_"Are you gonna ask him out?"_

Levi grimaced and stared up at the ceiling. "I don't know." He didn't even know how Eren felt. How could he? The mute boy hadn't messaged him. Eren's expression and reaction didn't give him much hope.  _Was he just surprised? Does he not like guys? No… Armin said something about Jean not making comments about him and Eren. Does he just see me as a friend then? I don't fucking know._

 _"Levi? Levi dear, are you alive over there?"_ Zoe's voice broke through his thoughts and jerked him back to reality.

"What?" he sighed, not really sure he wanted to get into this discussion. He wasn't sure he had enough energy to deal with Zoe at the moment.

 _"Sheesh, try to pay attention. I'm trying to_ help  _you, not tear your toenails out. You should ask him out. Based on his reaction, I'd say he's either never been kissed or he didn't know you liked him. If it's the former, that means he's probably never been on a date. So ask him out! Invite him over! Do_ something!"

Levi sighed heavily and blinked. It took monumental effort to haul his eyes open again. "Maybe…" he murmured.

 _"I'm sorry, what was that?"_ Laughter followed her words, nullifying the pretense that she hadn't heard him.  _"'Maybe' means 'yes' in my book! Ask him out! I'd say to the Back to School Festival, but that's still a few weeks away. Just take him to a movie or something!"_

"Zoe… don't you have anything better to do than meddle with my life?"

 _"Nope!"_ she chimed, cheerful as ever.

"I figured…"

_"Levi. All it takes is picking up your phone and sending a text to him. You can do it."_

"I seem to be afflicted with a serious disease."

_"Oh my gosh, really? What is it? Tell me more!"_

"My hands just fell off. I don't think I'll be able to text. There's a light. It's at the end of the tunnel. It's calling me," Levi deadpanned.

_"Ugh, so mean! I can't believe you Levi!"_

"Good," he muttered. "Zoe, I'm going. Bed's too comfortable and I'm too tired."

 _"Text him!"_  she shrieked, seconds before he hit the end button.

Levi pulled his legs onto the bed and curled up. He snagged a blanket and dragged it across his body.  _I wonder what Eren is doing… He's probably asleep. Or he's thinking I'm an idiot. Damn… what should I do?_  Levi ended up on his back, staring up at the ceiling as he pondered over what course of action would be best. Sleep didn't come.

* * *

Eren flipped the page of one of the books he had gotten at the library:  _The Lovely Bones_. Distraction was what he sought, but distraction was not what he got. He couldn't stop thinking about earlier in the morning. He couldn't stop touching the aching throat, the same two questions coming back time after time:  _Is there any more damage? Should I check?_  Eren was too afraid to leave it be, too afraid to check.

Emerald eyes skimmed the pages. None of the information actually clicked in his head. He couldn't remember anything from the last dozen pages or so. There was too much going on in his mind to focus. Too much chaos and not enough order. Everything was spinning out of control, what little he had managed to scrape together in the first place.

The beatings, he could and would handle. The platonic friendship with every guy he ever met, he could have handled. The constant longing to be something more, he could have handled. He could have kept handling everything, carefully balancing his life – keeping the abuse from Mikasa and Armin and hiding the truth of his sexuality from his father.

Then Levi showed up. Then Levi changed everything. Then Levi kissed him.

Eren slammed the book shut and pushed it away. He fell back, rolled onto his side, and grabbed a pillow, hugging it to his chest and curling around it. The hand his father had stepped on was stuck out, the fingers half-curled up throbbing to the beating of his heart.  _What should I do? Should I text him? I want to… but Dad…_

Eren hugged the pillow closer, trying to draw a sense of comfort from it. It was stupid. Inanimate objects wouldn't give him what he wanted: a hug, a pat on the head, a soft voice that would tell him it would be okay.  _Would things be like this if Mom hadn't died? Would things be easier if she was still alive? Would I be able to be myself?_

Something wet dribbled across his face. Eren raised his uninjured hand and dabbed at his face. He pulled his hand away and looked. Tears were smeared across his fingertips.  _Dammit…_ Furiously, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.  _That's enough crying. No more tears today – none._ The tears dried within a few minutes. It left him feeling a little emptier than before.

His fingers throbbed again.  _I wish things were as they were back then. Everything was so simple back then. But then I wouldn't know Levi…_ Everything was so strange, so distorted. Hadn't it been like that ever since Levi had slipped into his life? Eren hugged the pillow closer and frowned, thoughts whirling through his head.

_I wanna talk to him. I shouldn't. Gotta get my thoughts sorted out. How can I? I don't even know where to start._

Something started to rattle. Eren flinched at the sudden sound and glanced up. It took him a moment to realize it was his phone. Eren rolled over, keeping his hand as still as possible, so he could grab his phone off the floor. At eight o'clock, it had vibrated almost nonstop for an entire hour. Then activity had ceased.

All of the messages had been from Armin. Armin. The same friend he had walked home with the day before after the park – after Levi had kissed him. The blonde man had asked so many questions. Eren had refused to sign or type a message in response. He hadn't been able to think then, too shocked for thoughts. He still didn't know what to think.

Emerald eyes scanned the dimming screen with a blue background.  **New Text Message – Mikasa Ackerman**. Eren sighed and picked his phone up. He held it between two fingers for a moment.

The screen faded to black as he held it above his head. No point in answering. Eren let his arm fall back to his side and he sighed. His eyes slipped shut and he took a long, deep breath.  _Maybe I should just sleep. Think it over… I'm tired enough for it. Crying is so exhausting…_

His hand started to vibrate. One emerald eye cracked open and he raised his phone up so he could look.  **2 New Text Messages – Mikasa Ackerman**. Eren groaned and opened the messages in order.

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Hey Eren. What is up?**  
 **Received: 10:01 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Eren. Pick up your phone.**  
 **Received: 10:05 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

Eren sighed and let his arm fall back down with a soft thump. He could answer Mikasa and hope to hell she didn't bring up what he was certain she was going to. He could also ignore her and silence his phone so he could sleep in peace. Unfortunately, things like that didn't deter Mikasa. She would doubtlessly march over to his house, break the door down, and pull him out of bed. That had happened three times before. Eren wasn't eager for a repeat. He brought his phone back up and started typing a new message. This was going to be interesting to say the least.

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Not much just reading at the moment. Wby?**  
 **Sent: 10:07 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

He let his head drop back. There would be a few minutes of peace before Mikasa texted back. One of these days she would finally learn how to text with some amount of speed. Until then, he was stuck waiting a few minutes to see what the hell she wanted. Emerald eyes glazed over as he waited. Aching fingers slowly curled and uncurled, flexing and stretching. His phone vibrated a few minutes later, pulling him out of his daze.

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Because Armin said you were not responding to his texts. And that you have been acting strange since you went to the park.**  
 **Received: 10:11 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 _Dammit Armin, dammit._ Eren groaned and draped his arm across his face. Maybe it wasn't too late. Perhaps he could come up with some excuse to escape. No, the chance of her backing off might as well have been existent. Once Mikasa set her mind to something, she refused to stop until either she completed it or someone forced her to stop. Eren started typing out another message.

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Dammit… No, I haven't. I'm acting like I always do**  
 **Sent: 10:14 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Eren, you can tell me anything. I'm worried about you.**  
 **Received: 10:18 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **I'm serious I'm fine. Don't worry. Sheesh**  
 **Sent: 10:21 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **No, Eren, you aren't. Levi kissed you. I know your dad is homophobic. I know he'd flip if he found out. I know Levi kissed you. I know you like him. So what is the problem? Why are you acting weird?**  
 **Received: 10:29 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

Eren glared at his phone.  _I wish I could fucking melt this hunk of plastic._  The phone, despite his best efforts to melt it with the mind powers he wished he had, remained in one piece. Emerald eyes intensified their glare.  _Burn bitch, burn._  It remained intact. The chestnut-haired man sighed and started to type again.

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **I'm not acting weird**  
 **Sent: 10:32 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Liar. Tell me or I WILL come over there and drag the story out of you.**  
 **Received: 10:34 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **I'M FINE**  
 **Sent: 10:35 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **No, Eren, you AREN'T. Stop trying to act so damn tough and tell me what is wrong!**  
 **Received: 10:37 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

Eren slammed his head onto his bed, although that was utterly pointless as the bed was not hard. Why, oh  _why_  did he decide to answer his phone? He could have just let Mikasa wait for a response that wouldn't come. He could have just rolled over and slept. Well, sleep was questionable. Thoughts of Levi were bound to plague him the moment he stopped doing something.

 _Why did Levi kiss me? Just… just why?! See, I'm already thinking about him!_ Eren sighed and let his phone go so he could run his fingers through his hair.  _What do I do?_ His phone started to vibrate and, despite his unwillingness to do so, he picked it up and checked the message.

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Eren, talk to me or I promise I will break down your door again and make you tell me, even if I have to tie you down and stick a pencil in your mouth so you can write your answers.**  
 **Received: 10:43 AM, July 27** **th** **, 2013**

Emerald eyes widened. No. That wasn't good. She wouldn't… would she? Then again, who knew  _what_ Mikasa would do? Eren grimaced and fired a message back at the gray-eyed girl.

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Fine dammit . such a pain. Whaddya wanna know?**  
 **Sent: 10:45 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Do you like Levi?**  
 **Received: 10:47 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

Damn, she could type fast – well, faster than usual – when she wanted to. Eren flushed when he read her text. He couldn't help it, even if he did end up blushing like a middle school kid around her –  _his_  – crush.  _So direct… just like Mikasa. She doesn't exactly know how to beat around the bush._  Resignation filling his body, Eren started to type. He couldn't get away with lying – not with Mikasa, not about something like this. The truth is what it would have to be.

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Yes**  
 **Sent: 10:49 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Did you dislike him kissing you?**  
 **Received: 10:52 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 _Sheesh Mikasa, can't you be a little more, I don't know, subtle? Fuck it…_ Eren thought about it, not that much thought was needed. He  _had_  liked it. The surprise had simply been too much at the time. Then the embarrassment came. That was quickly followed by fear. What if his father found out? How bad would the beating be then? How many bruises would that raise? How many broken bones? That kept him from signing to Armin. Kept him from texting Levi, no matter how much he ached to do so. Eren chewed on his bottom lip.  _The truth, I need to speak the truth._

 **To Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **… I didn't dislike it…**  
 **Sent: 10:54 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

Close enough.

 **From Mikasa Ackerman:**  
 **Thought so. Now, what are you going to do? Will you ask him out?**  
 **Received: 10:57 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

There it was – that was the big question.  _Was_  he going to ask Levi out? Was it even safe? There was nothing to guarantee that their relationship would remain a secret from his father. That was the threat. Eren shuddered at the thought.

He could already feel the belt on his back, biting into his skin and even drawing blood. Hitting him again and again until his back was a mass of numb red welts. It had happened before. That week had been hell. Eren had been forced to claim he had chicken pox to the school officials. If his father found out it would be ten, no, a hundred times worse. Eren didn't want to imagine.

_Fingers curled around his throat, cutting off his breath. A heel dug into his face, pressing it against the cold tile floor. The toe of a foot hit his chest again and again and again, never ceasing, beating him to a bloody pulp. A hammer descended through the air and slammed into his arm, something inside breaking with a God-awful crack. Screams of agony and sobs of fear mixed together, filling the air._

Eren lurched upright, his breath coming in short, strangled gasps while his heart pounded in his chest. He clawed at his throat with his hand.  _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop thinking about those things, just stop!_  Eren folded over and tucked his head by his feet.  _I can't risk it. I want to, but I can't. I can't do it. I can't._

His phone started to buzz again. The chestnut-haired boy sucked down a deep and, hopefully, calming breath.  _Everything will be fine if you don't. Just don't. Everything will be fine. Just distance yourself from him._  The idea hurt more than he thought it would.

After a few minutes, Eren sat up and glanced at his phone.  **New Tex Message – Levi Rivaille**. Dammit.

* * *

Levi tapped his foot impatiently. He was exhausted and he needed something to do. What did he do? Like a genius, he decided to text Eren. That was fifteen minutes ago. No response.  _Is he still asleep? Lazy boy… Then again, he might not want to talk to me. He's probably not gay. Dammit all to hell. Why did I have to be so damn rash? How stupid…_

The raven-haired man sighed and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. The floor had long since ceased to feel uncomfortable. He had even dozed off for a few minutes, bowed over his legs, where a book was resting, his glasses mashed into his face. Needless to say, those had been thoroughly cleaned after he had woken, and that was only because some idiot outside had decided to practically fucking stand on their car horn.

Levi thumped his head on the plaster wall.  _I could go and play the piano… not that_ that  _will help any._ He had tried playing the piano. It had ended up as a melancholy tune with images of Eren filling his thoughts. Thankfully, his father hadn't been home to yell at him to "pipe the hell down because some of us are trying to sleep." Levi shook his head. Even  _thinking_ of that bastard made him want to strangle something. It was best not to think of that man.

_"So let's rewind, back to the time, two thousand five, I almost died. I overdosed, I did not know, did I provoke this evil ghost? Disaster… Magically, I turned tragedy…"_

Silver eyes shot open – when had he closed them? – and Levi snatched his phone from the floor beside him.  **New Text Message – Eren Jaeger**. Levi stared at it for a moment, his lips curling upwards ever so slightly.  _Finally…. Wonder what he's gonna say._

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Hello**  
 **Received: 11:21 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 _So short… at least he responded._ Pale fingers darted across the keyboard and punched the Send button. Perhaps questions would get Eren to talk.

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **What's up?**  
 **Sent: 11:21 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Reading. You?**  
 **Received: 11:22 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

Levi's small smile turned into a slight frown. Eren's message was so short, sharp even. It was as if he didn't want to talk, which was quite unusual for Eren.  _How much did I screw up?_  The silver-eyed man chewed on his bottom lip and shot another message at Eren.

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Trying to decide whether or not I should sleep for a few hours. How are you?**  
 **Sent: 11:23 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **I'm okay. You?**  
 **Received: 11:27 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 _This isn't like him…_ The messages were so short, not to mention how long Eren was taking to type out a three-word message when Levi knew he could type faster. What was wrong? Levi's teeth dug into his lip.  _Dammit… I can't tell if I fucked this up or not._  He clenched one hand and slammed it onto the floor. Pain filled the side of his hand. It felt good. It brought some sense into him. Levi sighed and narrowed his eyes.  _I need to figure out what's up with him. Going about that is going to be interesting._

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Exhausted as fuck. Wanna hang out?**  
 **Sent: 11:28 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **I can't. Doing chores**  
 **Received: 11:33 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Tomorrow then?**  
 **Sent: 11:34 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Sorry. I can't. Armin and I have plans.**  
 **Received: 11:40 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Anytime soon?**  
 **Sent: 11:41 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **I don't think so. Sorry**  
 **Received: 11:47 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

Levi felt his heart sink. The raven-haired man replaced his lip with the knuckle on his thumb. Any more lip biting and he would probably bite right through them. What did that mean? Was Eren legitimately busy or was the chestnut-haired man trying to avoid him? His phone vibrated in his hand again. It was another message from Eren.

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Sorry. I have to go now. Bye**  
 **Received: 11:49 AM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

The phone hit the floor with a clatter. Levi didn't care if the screen cracked or not. His head dropped forwards and he hugged his knees into his chest. He buried his face into his knees. Silver eyes glared at the floor. Only the lack of laser eyes prevented the floor from melting beneath his heated stare.

 _Hah… I'm so pathetic. I'm getting worked up over some damn brat I barely know. Dammit… I really am an idiot._  A bitter smile crept onto his face.  _It seems like my presence just fucks everything up… the foster homes; Mom; Dad; Eren._

Silver eyes flickered shut.  _Maybe I can sleep… just for a few minutes…_ Levi slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

_Tears trickled down Eren's face. He was curled up in the corner of his room, hugging his knees to his chest and quietly sobbing. "Mommy…" She hadn't come home. They had gone to her. Eren had tried to talk to her but she wouldn't say anything. He held her hand. Her skin was pale and cold._

_His father's voice echoed in his head, so cold, bitter, and full of blistering sadness. "She's dead. She's not coming home."_

_Eren shuddered and his shoulders shook with renewed sobs. Why did she have to die? It wasn't her fault! It wasn't fair! His small fist beat the floor, pain filling his hand with each hit._

Why? Why did you have to die?

_He sniffed and wiped his nose and eyes with his sleeve. His eyes hurt. His chest felt tight. It felt like someone was stomping on his heart. Something slammed downstairs, a door perhaps. A lot of things had been slammed and thrown ever since they had gotten home. Eren had narrowly dodged being hit by a book that his father had thrown. That was when he made the decision to flee to the comfort of his room._

_Something else broke with the sound of shattering glass. It was closer this time. Eren whimpered. Would his dad throw something again? The door flew open and Eren glanced up, eyes wide and teary. His father stood in the doorway, his eyes dark, and a bottle clutched in his hand. Eren watched as his father looked around for him._

_Dark brown eyes fell on Eren and lit up with anger. "You…" The bottle flew through the air and hit the wall above Eren's head, shattering on impact. Glass and alcohol cascaded around him._

_"Dad…" Eren whispered with a voice quiet with fear. He had never seen his father like this before. "What are you doing?"_

_His father shook his head like a wet dog and lurched forwards over to where Eren had shoved himself into a corner. "Your fault…" he snarled, "All your fault."_

Mine? How is it my fault?  _"What are you saying Dad?" His voice was so quiet. It couldn't get much louder. A hand connected with his face. Pain exploded in his cheek. Emerald eyes widened in shock: what was his father doing? His father had never hit him, ever. "You're the reason…" his father snapped as he closed his hands around Eren's throat. "You're the reason she's dead."_

* * *

_"You'll have to be careful now," the doctor said as he turned to the computer screen. Behind it was the room Eren had just come from, with very little aside from a large, circular machine with a table that he had lain on for some time. The sounds it made were loud and unnerving, but they had injected him with something, so all he felt was a constant sense of calm. The sense was fading, but a little still lingered, keeping him from panicking._

_"These are your vocal cords. These are what allow you to speak. Here are the scans from when you were a child. See how close they are? Normally, they are further apart when you aren't speaking. However, as yours were unable to completely form and spread apart, they're closer. That is what makes it hard to speak sometimes, and what makes it hurt. Here are today's scans. Your vocal cords are much closer than they originally were. This is due to the recent physical trauma."_

_Eren flinched slightly. He would have said… no. He would have_ written  _something if his father hadn't been standing behind him, one hand digging into his shoulder._

_"This has caused vocal cord paresis. That is where there is weakness in one or both folds of the vocal cords. Symptoms include hoarseness, vocal fatigue, pain in the throat when speaking, and shortness of breath. You've been experiencing those ones at least. Normally, we'd go in and correct this through surgery, but I don't think that would be worth it. The damage is too much to correct. This will be permanent."_

_Permanent. Permanent._ Permanent.

_Red rings. Pain in his throat. Permanent. Red rings. No voice. Careful. Oh God, the pain. So much pain. He couldn't talk. It hurt too much. Burning his throat. More pain, all over now. Broken fingers, broken arm. Bruises all over. How could things have changed so quickly? No voice. It hurt so much. Raw agony. Fingers wrapped around his throat, pressing down again once more. Choking him. Breaking him._

* * *

Eren shot up, his breaths coming in gasps. One hand flew to his throat and wrapped around it as if that could stop the ache. The other hand tried to clench the blankets, but it was too sore to flex far without crying out.

_Can't breathe can't breathe!_

His heart slammed against his ribcage like it was trying to break its way through his chest. Eren managed to suck a breath down his unyielding throat. That was the one that let everything go. His struggle for breath turned to gasps as his throat finally loosened enough to allow air. His hand remained curled around his throat. Cold sweat drenched his body, making his pajamas cling to his trembling form.

Eren sucked down another shuddering breath and pulled his knees into his chest. Tears streamed from emerald eyes, coating his face once more.  _I don't wanna remember… I just want to forget!_  That was a futile want. He could never forget. There were too many scars, too many memories, to possibly forget.

Eren shuddered and bit back a loud sob that threatened to tear past his lips.  _I… I need someone to talk to. Need to hear a voice._  He threw himself to the side of his bed and started searching. Tan fingers patted the floor, finding nothing at first. They closed around a small, slim object after a few moments: his phone. The touch made Eren freeze.

 _Who the hell am I going to talk to? Not Mikasa and Armin. They don't know. They_ can't  _know. Levi, I'll text Le-… No. I can't. I've gotta distance myself._

Even thinking about that made his chest ache. He hesitated, fingertips still touching the phone.  _I could do it, just this once._

He jerked his hand away.  _No. If I do it once, I won't be able to stop. I'd change my mind. I can't do that. Levi… I'm sorry!_  Eren sat back up and curled his knees into his chest. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

**To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Hey, creep. Do you have Arlert's number?**  
 **Sent: 11:45 PM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Surprisingly enough, yes I do. Why?**  
 **Received: 11:50 PM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Don't ask, just send it to me.**  
 **Sent: 11:52 PM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Ah, okay. Its XXX-XXX-XXXX**  
 **Received: 11:54 PM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Thank you Zoe.**  
 **Sent: 11:56 PM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **… Are you feeling all right? Have you been abducted by aliens? Have you meddled with anything that alters hormones? Do I need to conduct experiments on you?**  
 **Received: 11:59 PM, July 27 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Levi…?**  
 **Received: 12:04 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **I guess you're asleep. Sleep well dear~**  
 **Received: 12:10 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**


	8. Deception

 

 **From ?:**  
 **Armin, its Levi. I have a question**  
 **Received: 9:15 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To ?:**  
 **Levi? How did you get my number?**  
 **Sent: 9:17 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From ?:**  
 **Zoe gave it to me. Any more questions**  
 **Received: 9:19 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Ah, no. What do you need?**  
 **Sent: 9:22 AM, July 28** **th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Are you meeting Eren today?**  
 **Received: 9:23 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Um, no, not that I recall. Why do you ask that?**  
 **Sent: 9:25 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Is this about the other day when you kissed him?**  
 **Sent: 9:25 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **He lied… Ah, yeah. It is.**  
 **Received: 9:28 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **He lied about meeting me? Well, no surprise there.**  
 **Sent: 9:29 AM, July 28** **th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Yeah he did. What makes you say that?**  
 **Received: 9:31 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **(1/2) Idiot… I know his dad's a homophobe and everything, but he must be really worried about how his dad would react if he found out. I suppose that's why. I'm not sure though. He doesn't tell me everything, that's for sure. As for**  
 **Sent: 9:35 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **(2/2) that not being a surprise, it's pretty obvious you like him. Your eyes get real soft when you're talking to him.**  
 **Sent: 9:35 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Oh… He never mentioned that**  
 **Received: 9:39 AM, July 28** **th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **He doesn't talk about home a lot. After his accident he kind of just drew in on himself.**  
 **Sent: 9:42 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **His accident?**  
 **Received: 9:44 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **He never told you? Huh… I'm surprised. Well, it's not my place to tell. He'll tell you when he's ready. You can ask him though. He might answer.**  
 **Sent: 9:47 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Okay. I'll wait for him to tell. I have one more question**  
 **Received: 9:48 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Go ahead.**  
 **Sent: 9:48 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Could you ask him to meet 'you' at the library sometime this week at 3 in the afternoon? In the autobiography section preferably. I need to talk to him.**  
 **Received: 9:53 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Haha I'm assuming this is just a ploy to get him alone. Of course I can, leave it to me! I'll let you know what I can do. Give me a few minutes.**  
 **Sent: 9:56 AM, July 28** **th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Okay**  
 **Received: 9:56 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Okay, he said he can meet me today at 3.**  
 **Sent: 10:14 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Alright. Thanks Armin**  
 **Received: 10:16 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **No problem. Now, I have one question for you.**  
 **Sent: 10:17 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Go ahead**  
 **Received: 10:18 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **What are your feelings towards Eren? Do you like him or are you just toying with him?**  
 **Sent: 10:19 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **I'm not toying with him**  
 **Received: 10:26 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Good enough for now. Alright, I've got to go. Chores call. Good luck with Eren! ^^**  
 **Received: 10:28 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

Armin set his phone down and glanced out his window. Fat droplets of rain rolled down the glass pane. Gray clouds hung heavy and unmoving overhead as they sporadically dumped loads of rain onto the city that sprawled below. It was gloomy but relaxing; especially when the rain lightened until it was just a faint patter against the window.

 _I wonder why Eren didn't tell him about that kid hitting him in the throat. Hm… at least Levi says Eren isn't a toy to him. They really are cute together. I hope they work out._  He sighed and opened his phone. There were two texts. He opened Levi's first.

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Thanks**  
 **Received: 10:29 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

Armin didn't bother sending a reply. He opened the menu instead and scrolled to the next text.  **Jean Kirstein (1)**.  _Oh…_  Armin hesitated over the message.  _Should I open it?_  He ran his thumb across the select button for a moment before he pressed down and opened the message.

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Sorry**  
 **Received 10:30 AM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

* * *

_I don't wanna go out…_  Eren smashed his face into his pillow and curled his hand again. It felt much better now and infinitely more flexible. At least he could bend his fingers without tears springing to his eyes. That had enabled a little bit of idle sketching a few hours ago.

To say he was embarrassed was an understatement. He was absolutely  _mortified_. Despite his best intentions, he had woken with Levi on his mind and a need to draw. Three hours and two pages later, he had sketched out several versions of Levi. Most were just of the shoulders and up, but there was a full body one of how Levi had looked at the library.

Along with the stiffness, there was a bruise along the back of his knuckles, but it was faint and a dull yellow with only a hint of blue at the bottom knuckle of his middle finger. It would disappear within a day or two. His neck was back to normal aside from two small, blue bruises: one on the back of his neck to his left and the other just beneath his jaw, off to the right. It wasn't really visible unless he tilted his head up.

_How can I pass these off? Damn… I wonder if I can get away with a turtleneck. Perhaps a jacket with a high collar would work… At least my hair can hide the one on the back of my neck. Dammit all to hell. I shouldn't have agreed to this._

Eren rolled over and picked up his phone to glance at the time: 2:15.  _I suppose I should get dressed._  His feet hit the floor with two solid thumps and he ambled over to his dresser to sift through the clothing. It took a few minutes, but he finally extracted something he liked: forest green skinny jeans, a navy blue shirt with the  _Doctor Who_  logo made of words in light blue on the front, and black Converse.  _Neck, what do I cover my neck with? Fuck it: I'll just avoid tilting my head up._

Eren glanced out his window to the world outside. The rain had stopped coming down for a while, but who knew how long that break would last? He snatched his green hoodie from the corner of his bed and opened the door to his room quietly.

His father had left for work hours ago, but Eren still found reason for caution. The events of Saturday had put him back on edge, wary of every shadow and every sound. Even the vibration of his phone made him flinch. Every creak sent him a couple feet into the air. It was amazing he hadn't suffered from a panic-induced heart attack yet.

Eren crept down the stairs of the dark house and grabbed his keys and the black umbrella by the front door. He slipped out of the house and started to walk briskly down the rain-soaked sidewalk. There was a faint fog hovering about, taking advantage of the break in the sporadic bursts of rain.

As he neared the library, he spotted more people who were doing the same. Most had umbrellas over their heads, but others clutched briefcases or satchels that were probably their form of protection in the rain.

Cars rolled through puddles that were collecting in the dips and potholes in the roads, sending waves of dirty water rolling across the black pavement and splattering the sidewalk, along with any people nearby. Eren clung to the walls of the buildings, trying to stay as far away from the splashing as possible. It worked for the most part, unless he was forced to walk closer to the curb.

He turned another corner and spotted the library. The steps leading up to the awning over the doors were empty aside from the lion statues on each end. No smokers leaned against the white support pillars. There was no obvious movement from the windows. Eren wasn't surprised. What people in their right mind would be out and about today?

Thunder rolled overhead, long and loud. Eren flinched and clutched the umbrella a little tighter. A droplet landed on his head, soaking straight through his hair. Eren quickened his pace and dashed up the steps to the library as quick as possible without tripping and breaking his face. It would certainly be unfortunate if he ended up breaking his nose just because he was nervous about a bit of  _thunder_.

He pushed the heavy oak doors open and stepped into the silent building; much quieter than when he and Levi had come in just a few days ago. Thinking about that sent a pang of hurt through his chest. Eren bit his lip.  _Don't think about Levi. It's for the best._

The silence was disconcerting. It reminded him of the silence in his house, the silence that tended to be a prelude to being attacked by his father. Eren shuddered and gripped his elbows.  _Just stop thinking about home. Please thoughts, I just want one afternoon without Dad plaguing my thoughts. Just stop thinking already. Yeah, like_ that'll _solve_ all _my problems._

He sucked a breath down and started walking through the maze of shelves. It was a familiar path. Armin often dragged him to that particular section so they could hold quite conversations without much likelihood of being interrupted or so they could stare at the people outside. It only took a minute or two for him to find their usual spot.

He stood at the mouth of the little enclosed nook and stared for a moment.  _Levi and I were here just a few days ago…_  Eren sighed and leaned the umbrella against the table before he grabbed the back of one of the chairs.

 _I should have grabbed a book…. I've still got at least twenty minutes._  He raised his head so he could look out the window and sighed. Fat droplets clung desperately to the window as more began to hit the windowpane. It was starting to rain again.

Someone behind him cleared his or her throat. Eren ignored them and continued to stare out the window. They were probably just doing that because they had a cold.

"Eren…" The voice was quiet and low and it was definitely  _not_  Armin's.

Eren spun around so fast he was amazed nothing cracked or popped. Silver eyes captured him in their gaze. Levi stared at him, quiet and still like a marble statue carved to perfection.

* * *

Levi watched as emotions flashed across Eren's face: happiness, confusion, hope, and fear.  _Is he afraid of me? No, I forgot. His dad's a homophobe. That's why. Eren…_  The raven-haired teen breathed deeply, took a step towards Eren, and grabbed his shoulders. Levi pulled Eren down and stared into his eyes for a moment.

Confusion, uncertainty, and a glint of want filled the emerald depths. The sweet and tantalizing scent of melons tickled Levi's senses, urging him on as inhibitions and thoughts were thrown to the wind. Levi stretched up a bit and kissed Eren on his half-opened mouth without another thought.

Eren froze beneath his touch, staring at Levi with emerald eyes filled with shock, fear, and way in the back – buried deep – happiness. The raven-haired man shut his own eyes and bit Eren's lip as he moved his own against Eren's chapped, unresponsive mouth. Eren didn't do anything. Was he even breathing?

Levi nipped on Eren's lip and ran his tongue across the other boy's mouth, slow and light. Eren shivered beneath the gentle touch and sighed quietly. His body suddenly relaxed, mind surrendering to heart, as he melted into Levi's form and opened his mouth. Two hands came up and clutched the front of Levi's shirt.

The raven-haired man smirked before pulling away so he could look at Eren. The chestnut-haired man's face was blood red. Emerald eyes were half-lidded and slightly foggy, but they flickered open when Eren registered Levi had pulled back. He sucked a deep breath in and clapped his hand over his mouth. A nervous, slightly guilty look spread across Eren's face, but his eyes shined with positive emotion and didn't move from Levi's.

_Is he getting redder? Ah… I really should kiss him without warning more often. He looks so perfect like that._

"Eren, I'm sorry for forcing myself on you but…" Silver eyes dropped and Levi glared at the floor, trying to think of what to say. He crossed his arms and clenched his hands tight. His cheeks heated with the threat of a blush, but the stoic teen pushed the reaction away. "I really like you, okay?" he muttered.

Levi looked up at Eren and waited. The chestnut-haired man stared at him for a few moments, his emerald eyes wide and unsure - it looked like he was having in inward battle with himself. So many emotions warred in his brilliant eyes, both positive and negative and both completely obvious. Hope, joy, and excitement clashed hard against fear and caution.

Watching the conflict was almost painful, especially since Levi couldn't do  _anything_  to help Eren with his choice. Silver orbs watched intently as Eren's hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Eren tapped his phone a few times and then started to type, the other still covering his mouth. It only took Eren a few moments. Levi watched as Eren looked away before he glanced down at the phone in Eren's hand and read the message.

**I like you too**

A small smile crept up onto Levi's face. "Then will you stop avoiding me?" Eren hesitated, but nodded all the same. His hand fell away from his mouth to reveal a tentative smile. "That's good…" Levi murmured. Eren held up his finger and started typing again. Levi watched and waited as his slim, tan fingers darted across the keyboard. Eren held the phone up after a moment and Levi looked at the message.

**So did Armin lie about meeting me here?**

"Ah… yes. He did. I got his number from Zoe and asked him if you were meeting him today. He said no." One of Levi's eyebrows quirked upward, both questioning and amused.

Shamefaced, Eren flushed with embarrassment.  _"Sorry…"_  he mouthed.

Levi fluttered his hand. "It's fine. Armin… he told me a thing or two. I asked him to get you out here so we could talk. Didn't quite turn out how I thought it would…" The raven-haired man shrugged. "If you're serious about liking me… you wanna go somewhere?"

Eren hesitated again. The emerald-eyed man pulled his head back a bit and worried the corner of his lip. After a moment, Eren nodded.

"That settles it. Come on." Levi turned around and started to walk.

A hand grabbed his arm, the warm, thin fingers curling around his wrist. The raven-haired man looked back. Eren met his gaze before ducking his head, a delicate blush on his face and eyes wide with uncertainty. Levi shook his head slightly and tugged Eren's hand down until their palms were pressed against each other. He wove their fingers together.

"Most go for the hand, not the wrist," he said softly. Eren smiled shyly and squeezed Levi's hand. "Let's go," Levi said, tugging Eren's hand gently. "You know, before the rain gets too bad. Do you have an umbrella?"

The chestnut-haired man nodded and held a black umbrella up.

"Good," Levi said, "I'd hate to get wet." He started to walk again and Eren followed. They weaved their way back to the front of the library and left the large, quiet building. The rain was falling a little heavier than earlier. Eren shook his umbrella out and glanced at Levi.

"Here," Levi murmured as he held his hand out for the umbrella. The emerald-eyed man passed it to him. Levi held it in one hand so he could loop his arm through Eren's before he transferred it back to his other hand so that they were both covered. It was something he had seen in some chick flick that Zoe had forced him to sit through the entirety of. The title couldn't even come to mind.

He felt Eren tense at the contact, but the taller boy relaxed after a moment and clutched Levi's arm with his hand. That didn't stop his eyes from frantically flickering about every few seconds like he was expecting something to attack him. _Is he looking for his father? If anyone says_ anything, _I'll kick their ass, even if it_ is _his dad._

With the umbrella situated, Levi set off.  _I really didn't think I'd get this far. Where to go, where to go… Oh. I know._  A smirk crept up onto his face. As Levi wasn't one for small talk and Eren  _couldn't_  talk, the walk passed in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, not as much as it could have been. Instead, it was one of those companionable silences, filled with the sound of rain slapping the black fabric above their heads.

They passed only a few people walking down the streets. None of them gave the pair a second glance. They turned the corner and Eren's fingers twitched against his arm. Levi glanced up at Eren, worry clouding his eyes. "Is there something wrong?"

Eren shook his head and looked down at Levi, a small smile on his face. It turned into a focused look and Eren's eyes tightened. "Back… here?" His voice was a hoarse whisper and barely audible over the rain. He pointed up to the sign of the shop they were approaching.

Levi nodded, "I thought it'd be nice. You shouldn't talk if it hurts." The chestnut-haired man shrugged, but a small smile curled his lips upwards. Levi stared for a moment before he reluctantly dragged his eyes away and came to a stop just beneath the small awning over the door to the ice cream parlor, proudly proclaiming the establishment to be the Iced House.

Levi closed the umbrella and shook it out a bit before he pulled the door open with a soft jingle. Silver eyes flicked up to Eren, "After you." Eren smiled tautly and walked in with Levi close on his heels.

There was a large cluster of people in the front of the shop, crowded by the window and chattering amicably. Most of them looked like they could be high school students, but one could never be certain. It wasn't like Levi recognized any of them and Eren didn't wave to them, so he might not have known them either.

A hand crept back onto his, slim fingers lacing together with his own. A soft smile crept onto Levi's face and warmth bubbled in his stomach.  _Well, he seems to be a little more relaxed now at least. Even if he_ does _have a death grip on my hand._  "Do you know what you want? I'm paying."

Eren pulled his phone out and started typing with one hand. He showed Levi the screen after a few moments of awkwardly trying to type one-handed and not drop his phone.

**Mint chocolate chip milkshake :3**

"Sure." They walked up to the counter and placed their order: one mint chocolate chip milkshake and one blueberry milkshake. One minute and a couple of dollars later, they were seated in the same corner as the time before. Eren had let go of Levi's hand in favor of grabbing some napkins from the counter, which he had set down on the tabletop when they had sat down. Levi set one hand on the table, the other on his spoon. There was only a moment or two of hesitation before Eren's hand slowly crept over to Levi's and twisted their fingers together.

"So Eren," Levi said, "How are your books?" Eren stuck his spoon into his mouth so he could type with his newly freed hand.

**I haven't had much time to read actually. I've been thinking for the most part. What about you?**

Levi shrugged and licked the back of his spoon, the taste of blueberries filling his mouth. He almost smirked when he saw Eren watching. "Not much. The internet sucked me in. Zoe also seems to be dead set on interrupting me every time I open a book. I think she's psychic. Her timing is almost unnerving." Eren nodded and glanced to his left before his eyes returned to Levi and then his phone.

**Haha you could always send her in for testing**

"She'd enjoy that," Levi muttered. "She's fucking crazy." Eren giggled, the soft sound instantly catching Levi's attention. The chestnut-haired boy flushed and covered his mouth, obviously embarrassed. Levi stared at him for a few moments. It had sounded so…  _cute_.

 _He tries to look tough and keep everything controlled, but that just makes him even more open than before. He's so innocent… and adorable._ Levi shook his head to clear his thoughts and held up his spoon up, coated in a layer of thick, blue milkshake. He gestured to Eren. "Want some?"

The emerald-eyed man blushed furiously. Eren glanced around, his eyes flitting about for a few moments before they returned to Levi. He finally nodded. Levi bit his lip to keep from smiling. Even so, there was a thought nagging at him – several actually.  _Who is he looking for? Why is he looking? Is he looking for his father? What about an angry ex? Ah hell, I'm probably being too suspicious._

Eren made a move to take the spoon from Levi, but he jerked the spoon back before Eren could grab it. "Nope,  _I'm_  giving it to  _you_." Eren shrank backwards for a moment. His soft smile faded, only to be replaced with a small, anxious pout. Levi waited, one eyebrow still raised. He squeezed Eren's fingers. Maybe that would urge him on.

Eren nodded after a moment, although he still looked hesitant. Levi watched Eren's face closely as the spoon neared the other man's face. Emerald eyes kept widening as the spoon drew closer. When it was a few inches from Eren's face, the taller man clenched his eyes shut and ducked his head towards the spoon.

It ended up on his nose. Eren's eyes flew open and crossed as he tried to bring his nose into focus. Levi pulled the spoon away and stared for a moment before he started to chuckle, shoulders shaking. "Eren… you should have kept your eyes open." Eren's eyes scrunched up and he shook his head.

The chestnut-haired boy reached for one of the napkins, but Levi set his spoon down and grabbed Eren's hand. He stopped his silent laughter and stared at Eren and his blue-coated nose. "Lean closer." The emerald-eyed man raised an eyebrow, but leaned forwards after a moment until he was about halfway across the table.

Levi smirked and leaned across the table, his face an inch from Eren's. He licked the tip of Eren's nose, clearing off the blueberry milkshake residue. The raven-haired man lowered his head slightly. He pecked Eren's lips and leaned back, a satisfied smirk on his face. Eren stared at him, emerald eyes wide, and a crimson blush on his face. "Now, shall we try that again?"

A slight nod gave Levi the green light. He held the spoon out again. This time, Eren kept his eyes open. Pale pink lips wrapped around Levi's spoon and stayed there for a moment before Eren pulled back and swallowed. A thoughtful expression crossed his face for a few moments before he smiled. He raised one hand and gave a thumb up to Levi.

The raven-haired man nodded and stroked the back of Eren's thumb with his own. Eren brought his own spoon up, a thick, light green substance on it, mixed with little brownish bits. The emerald-eyed man gestured to Levi, his entrancing eyes wide and innocent. Their eyes remained on each other as Levi opened his mouth and Eren stuck his spoon in.

The sweet taste of mint flooded Levi's mouth, just enough that it wasn't overpowering. He pulled his mouth from Eren's spoon and bit the bits of shaved chocolate before he swallowed. "Delicious." Eren smiled and squeezed Levi's hand. Levi nodded and they ate in silence for a few moments. He interrupted that silence after a few moments.

"Hey Eren… are you alright? You look like you're watching for someone." The chestnut-haired boy only ducked his head and hid his eyes behind his bangs. Levi frowned and squeezed Eren's fingers. "You can tell me you know." Eren set his phone on the table and typed out a message.

**No, it's nothing. I promise. Can I ask a question?**

"I don't know," Levi said with a shrug, "Can you?" Eren sent him a withering glance. Even so, a smile curled his lips. Eren started to type out another message. He slid it over to Levi. Silver eyes scanned the text.

**Does this mean we're together now?**

Levi looked up at Eren, completely serious. "We are if you want us to be."  _Please want to be…_

Eren worried his lip for a moment before he glanced up and nodded. That brought an internal sigh of relief. Their conversation ceased after that and they finished their milkshakes in silence.

Together, they rose, and with their hands still clasped together, they threw their cups away. Bells jingled again as they left the small shop and stepped back out into the city. The rain had turned into a faint mist that fell through the air. They remained under the awning of the shop as Levi worked the umbrella open.

Levi glanced up at Eren, who stared blankly at the gray sky. "Eren..." the chestnut-haired boy looked down at him, a hesitant and questioning smile on his face. "I'll walk you home."

Eren's expression tightened and he looked away, hiding his face. That didn't stop his hand from clenching on Levi's until the shorter man thought the bones were going to break. He couldn't see Eren's face, but he could feel Eren shaking slightly.  _Is he scared? What of? His dad?_

"Do you not want to go home?" Eren shook his head, still facing away from Levi. The raven-haired man watched him for a few moments. Neither made a sound.  _Hm… Dad's not home yet. It's possible…_

"Do you want to stay the night at my place?" Eren's head turned slowly to look at Levi. His emerald eyes looked faintly watery. Before Levi could be certain, Eren blinked and his eyes were back to normal. "My dad won't care. He's out of town anyways." After a moment, Eren nodded.

Levi smiled, small but warm, "Come on then."


	9. Lullaby

Together, they huddled beneath Eren's umbrella. Levi had it in his grasp again, with Eren's arm looped through his. The shorter male didn't talk much, only a few comments about how shitty the weather was and about how his father wouldn't be home for a few days still. Eren hung onto every word Levi said in an attempt to commit his voice, his  _everything_ , to memory.

However, in the silence, his thoughts turned to other matters, dark ones. One such matter was the bruises. It didn't seem like Levi had noticed the one on his throat or the one on his hand. Eren had gone to great lengths to keep his head bowed just enough, to stay on Levi's right side, and to tilt his right hand away. When Eren grabbed at Levi's hand, it was with his left. When they were arm-in-arm, Eren made sure it was his left.

 _I'm going to slip up eventually…_  The lanky teen bit his lip and internally sighed.  _I feel like such an ass, lying to him like this. But I can't tell the truth… I've gotta hide that. He can't know._

Jade eyes flickered to the right and watched Levi. The pale teen's face was impassive, but it seemed more relaxed than usual. There was even a slight curl to his lips; almost as if there was a smile inside he couldn't quite repress, but wasn't quite ready to let out either. Eren smiled a little at that.  _His real smiles are so rare and so beautiful. If he ever smiles completely or laughs loudly, I think I'll die. I'll be the one to make that happen._

Levi glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. "What's with the grin?" The smile broadened as Eren shook his head. It was more genuine, more relaxed, than his smiles earlier that day. It was a comfort to be able to do so. Unfortunately, comforts like that were not permanent. Those ceased to exist the second he set foot into his house. Eren shuddered at the thought.

"Are you cold?" Eren hummed in response and shook his head. "Don't worry. We'll be out of the rain in a few minutes."

The younger teen only gripped Levi's arm a little tighter in response.  _I'll have to send Dad a message… he won't see it till after he gets home. He's probably going to a bar afterwards or something, so that'll give me a little buffer time. I'll send him a message once we get there._

Rain beat a tattoo into the fabric of the black umbrella. It had picked up soon after they had left the Iced House. While the umbrella kept the rain off their heads, it couldn't do much when the wind sent it at an angle. Their legs were soaked from the knees down. Eren couldn't wait to get to Levi's house and get out of the damnable rain.

It was a strange prospect, being at Levi's house, but it wasn't one that Eren was against. He would just have to lie and say he was at the Arlert's house or something like that. His father wouldn't raise any questions. After all, Mikasa was there, which was pretty much the only reason he let Eren go there in the first place. He must have had hopes about his son deciding to date the quiet girl.

Levi pulled him down another street and they turned the corner. "Almost there…" the shorter teen murmured with a soft voice. They walked about halfway down the street before Levi turned up onto a path. Eren glanced up at the house and examined it as they walked up the stone path leading to the front door.

The house was painted a plain white. A few trees dotted the yard, guaranteed to provide shade on hot summer days. Some flowers grew along the edge of the porch: multi-colored roses, lilies, and more herb-like plants, such as rosemary and sage. "Yours…?" Eren whispered. He pointed at the plants to make it clear.

Levi shrugged, "Zoe convinced me to plant some. And there was a woman who taught me a thing or two." Levi didn't elaborate. Eren didn't press. Instead, he continued to inspect the house. Most of the windows had curtains draw across them except for one of the rooms on the second floor, one off to the right side of the house.  _I wonder if that's Levi's room…_

The porch was small, made of a stone floor with wooden railings and covered with an awning. They ascended the steps and finally stepped out of the rain. Levi brought the umbrella down and shook it out for a few moments before he set it by the door. Eren's let his arm swing back to his side. It felt strange having his hand back without it being in contact with Levi's. A wry smile crept onto Eren's face.  _It's been one day and yet I'm already used to holding his hand... this can't be good._

"Take your shoes and socks off here," Levi said. Eren complied and struggled to balance on one leg as he tugged his shoe and sock off before he switched feet. Beside him, Levi did the same. After a few moments, both were holding a pair of shoes and socks, completely drenched. "And to think I told you to meet up on sunny days," Levi grumbled good-naturedly.

Eren smiled and held his shoes up a little higher, in a  _what do I do with these now_  gesture. Levi opened the front door with two fingers and an awkward grip. It swung open and Levi swept the air in front of him, "After you." Bright green eyes rolled, but they were accompanied with a smile. Eren stepped into the house and took a deep breath. It smelled like Levi: of lavender and cotton, which mixed pleasantly.

The floors were made of darkly stained wood. Someone had painted the walls a cream color and hung images of landscapes that were breathtakingly beautiful. Had Levi taken those? It was certainly possible. A set of stairs was off to the right and a soft gray carpet that ran up the middle. Two doorways sat on either side, a few feet away from the front door. There was a hall in front of him, carrying on towards what looked like a kitchen. The door shut behind him and muted the sound of rain.

"Drop your shoes over that vent. Give me your socks. Do you want a shower or just some clean clothes?"

 _"Shower I guess,"_  Eren mouthed to him. The raven-haired teen nodded and set his shoes on top of the vent. He turned them upside down so the air could flow into the inside. Eren copied him and set his shoes in a similar fashion.

"Come on then. Let's get you out of those clothes." Eren gaped at Levi, his mouth open wide as blood flooded his face. Levi stared at him for a moment, confusion in his steely eyes, before his eye twitched. "Shit... that sounds bad. Correction, let's get you upstairs so you can take a shower."

He wasn't positive, but Eren was almost certain there was a faint blush on Levi's cheeks. The tan teen nodded and followed Levi up the stairs. His still-damp toes sank into the plush gray carpet underfoot as they ascended.

Vibrant emerald eyes kept wandering up to map out Levi's back, to make a study of his ass, to watch his legs. Eren blushed furiously and forced his eyes away before his thoughts could get too far. The walls on their way up were vacant of pictures.

Levi turned right at the top of the stairs and led Eren down a similarly carpeted hallway. They passed by a few doors, but the one at the end of hall on the right was their destination. The door was white and unadorned. Levi opened it and stepped in. Eren followed him. He could only gape at what he saw in Levi's room. The window on the wall opposite gave a nice view of the yard through half-open navy curtains. There was an immaculately made bed in the corner of the room, the gray comforter pulled tight and several blankets stacked at the foot of it.

A dresser sat just beneath the window. The only thing on top was a sizeable stack of books and a sleek, black picture frame, the contents of which Eren couldn't quite make out. There was a tall, metal stand filled with CDs between the dresser and a dark bookcase crammed full of books from top to bottom. Some books were even double-parked. In the corner, Levi had his desk, which had several more books, a laptop, and some nice, black speakers on it. There was a door on the right wall. Whether it was a bathroom or a closet, Eren wasn't sure.

That didn't hold Eren's attention so much as what was on the walls did. There were a few posters: a  _Doctor Who: The Day of The Doctor_ ; one with a man sitting on a throne of swords with the words  _Game of Thrones: You Win or You Die_  beneath him; a  _Legend of Zelda: the Wind Waker_  sea chart map; one of _the Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey_  with Bilbo on the front. Eren glanced at the wall to his left and realized that wasn't even all of it.

There were hundreds of pictures tacked up on the wall. Some were in black and white. Most were in color. Some looked like their colors had been altered. All of them were beautiful. Eren walked forwards, almost in a daze, as he poured over them. There was one of a pier stretching out across a lake towards a lighthouse. Boats were captured on the waters, with waves topped with white foam slapping against the closer ones. The sky was dark and menacing, but shafts of sunlight broke through the steely skies to illuminate the world.

Eren looked back at Levi and gestured to it. "I spent a few months up in Minnesota. We were in Duluth, in the Lake Superior Bay. That was one hell of a storm."

There was another picture full of mostly soft ridges, hills, and peaks. The sky was an unblemished baby blue. Even so, mists hung in the dips and valleys between the hills – or were they mountains? Either way, trees of a thousand colors covered them, ranging from a dark forest green to lemon yellow, from brick red to burnt orange. Eren pointed to that one.

"That was when I spent a month in Boone, North Carolina. I was about nine then." Eren raised an eyebrow and fished out his phone. He typed out a quick message and showed it to Levi.

**Did you move around a lot as a kid?**

Levi glanced away. His eyes darkened and his face closed off. "Yeah… I did." He didn't seem like he was going to elaborate. Eren simply let him be and continued to examine the photographs. He tilted his head back, craning to look at some of the higher ones.

There was one of a bear with chocolate-colored fur and a tan snout. It sat on its back haunches and peered over its shoulder to stare directly at the camera.

There was one near the top of a group of people, five to be precise, and all of them young, elementary age perhaps. One was a tall blonde girl with dark eyes, a broad smile, and tan skin. Next to her, a gangly boy with a thick mess of curly red hair stood with an awkward smile on his face. On the other side, there was a girl with long brown hair put up in a messy bun and dark skin. Next to her, there was a tall boy with light brown hair.

n the middle of them all, there was Levi. He looked like he was about ten. His hair was longer, without the undercut, and his face was rounder. Even so, there was only the faintest of smiles on his lips. His face looked closed off, as if he was hiding something. Eren was well acquainted with that feeling.

Eren froze as fingers brushed the side of his neck. On the right side. Just beneath his jaw.  _… Shit!_  Eren jerked his head down and stared at Levi, wide-eyed. The raven-haired teen raised an eyebrow.

"How did you get that? Were you fighting again? Or is it something else?"

Eren felt his eye twitch.  _Lie come up with a lie. Quick!_  One finger shot into the air before he started to type another message. Lies spun through his mind.  _It's gotta be something simple, something believable._  He almost sighed with relief as his fingers typed out something good.

**I tripped and fell the other day. I managed to catch myself, but not before I hit a post. Hurt like hell**

The pale teen looked dubious, but nodded anyways. "Alright, unless you  _want_  to catch a cold, I advise you come with me so you can shower."

A wave of relief smashed into Eren and he nodded, perhaps a little harder than necessary, but Levi didn't seem to notice. Instead, the shorter male led Eren to the door on the right wall. It was a bathroom. Light blue tiles made up the floor while the walls were white. Levi fished around in a small closet before he handed Eren a gray towel and a matching washcloth.

"It's red for hot, blue for cold like any other. Pull the little knob on the faucet out if you want a shower. I'll… I'll go get you some clothes. Just give me a moment." With that, the steel-eyed man slid out of the bathroom. Eren could hear him rummage through his drawers, likely looking for something that would fit Eren. It took a few minutes, but Levi appeared with clothes in hand. He dumped them onto the counter and his gaze flickered up to Eren's.

"I did guesswork on your size… I hope your underwear is good, because I don't think mine will fit and I'd rather you wear thorn bushes than my dad's." Levi looked like he was going to say something more, but in the end he clamped his mouth shut and walked out of the bathroom. The door closed with a click behind him. Eren smiled as he leaned against the counter.

He picked up the tank top Levi had brought in and examined it. It was black and had a light purple-hued wolf on the front. White lettering screamed FALLING IN REVERSE across its snout. Eren glanced at the door again. It was shut tight. He raised the tank top to his face and sniffed it. It smelled like lavender and cotton. It smelled like Levi.  _Such an addicting scent… Someone really should bottle it._

There was a broad smile as Eren set the tank top back down and turned the shower on.

* * *

**From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Leeeeevi~ how are you this fine evening? 8D**  
 **Received: 5:45 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Zoe… out of all the nights you have to text me, does it have to be TONIGHT?**  
 **Sent: 5:46 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **… Why do you say that?**  
 **Received: 5:48 PM, July 28** **th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **OMG IS EREN OVER THERE?**  
 **Received: 5:48 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **… God dammit**  
 **Sent: 5:49 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **OMG Levi, this is great! Have you asked him out yet? Did he say yes? How long is he staying? Are you two going to engage in sexual intercourse?**  
 **Received: 5:52 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Jesus H Christ woman. … Did Armin tell you? Yes I did. Yes he did. He's staying the night. What… the… fuck. No, you shitty glasses, WE ARE NOT.**  
 **Sent: 5:54 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **ILY BBY 3 … Maaaaaybe. O. M. G. I think I'm going to die! So CUTE! Yes, yes, yes, yes! This is perfect 8D Dammit… Well, another time then. O, you said he plays the violin, correct?**  
 **Received: 5:56 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **I fucking hate you… both of you. Good. Die. I'll bury you in a ditch. You're nuts. I am not having sex with him Hanji. Not now anyways. … Yes. Why?**  
 **Sent: 5:57 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **No you don't X3 But where's the fun in that? Damn right I am, and proud of it! Oooo, so you are planning on it! : D excellent! Oh gosh, I'm going to have so much fun with this. Hold on.**  
 **Received: 5:58 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Yes I most certainly do. There's tons of fun in burying you – for me. No surprise. Dammit… you're not allowed to make sexual jokes around him. Fun with what…?**  
 **Sent: 6:00 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Some pickup lines 8D**  
 **Received 6:05 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Oh fuck…**  
 **Sent: 6:05 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **(1/2) you must be a choir director, because you make my heart sing!**  
 **This cello isn't the only big wood between my legs.**  
 **Are you a trumpet player? Because you sure are making me horny!**  
 **I may not be Mumford, but do you want to have my sons?**  
 **Let's make some sweet**  
 **Received: 6:09 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **(2/2) music together, honey.**  
 **You can tickle my ivories anytime, baby.**  
 **I can make you hit all the high notes!**  
 **You had me at cello.**  
 **Would you like to play my organ?**  
 **I C Major potential in us getting together.**  
 **I bet we'd get into some serious Treble together.**  
 **Received: 6:09 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **… I'll deal with you later…**  
 **Sent: 6:10 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Have a lovely make out session with Eren XD**  
 **Received: 611: PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **If things get steamy, use protection!**  
 **Received: 6:11 PM, July 28 th** **, 2013**

Levi turned his phone on silent and stuffed it in his sock drawer for good measure after he read Zoe's last text. Through the door, he could hear the water turn off, not that he had been listening or anything of the sort of course. He had already changed so there was no need to go in there after Eren. Silver eyes roamed around his room as he waited for Eren to emerge. They fell on the wall of pictures.

He had the location of every one of them memorized, that or they were written on the backs. The photographs showed a broad variety of landscapes and people. There was Katherine Love from Nashville, Tennessee. Then there was Gary Fallow from Allentown, Pennsylvania. The kids in the photograph that Eren had been staring at, he vaguely remembered: Jake, Sarah, Celeste, and Owen.

They were friends from years ago, lifetimes ago. All of them were. Everyone in the pictures was from another place, another lifetime. The constant bouncing around had been hard. Leaving those he knew behind was even harder. To be a recluse was the only escape.

The door opened and Levi turned around. A few curls of steam escaped the bathroom. Eren stood in the doorway, his hair almost black from the water as spheres dripped onto his mostly exposed shoulders. The tank top and sweats seemed to fit comfortably. Steel-gray eyes raked over Eren's frame as the teen ducked his head to rub his hair with the towel. Tan arms flexed and muscles stretched tantalizingly.

Levi pulled his chair out and sat down. He pulled his eyes away from Eren. Now was  _not_  the time to stare at the chestnut-haired male, even if he  _was_  undeniably attractive and they  _were_  dating.  _He does look good in tank tops. I'm glad I went with that and not my other choice._ The other choice being a loose black T-shirt with lyrics from "40:1" by Sabaton on the front in elegant, white script.

Eren brought his head back up and glanced shyly at Levi. He gestured to the bathroom, an eyebrow quirked upwards. "I took a shower this morning," Levi said simply. Eren nodded and walked back into the bathroom. When he emerged a few seconds later, the towel was gone. In his arms, he had his clothes from earlier and his phone clutched in his hand. "Here, I'll take those."

Levi took the clothes, along with his, and marched downstairs. Eren trailed behind him, quiet as a ghost and ten times sexier, even if it was unintentional. "They'll be clean in the morning. Are those good or do you need something larger?"

He glanced back at Eren, who curled his index finger and thumb together in a circle with the other three jutted up.  _Okay._

One-handed, Levi opened the washing machine and dumped Eren's clothes in. A bit of Tide followed the clothes. The top slammed back into place with a loud clang and Levi turned the machine on. He turned back to face Eren. "Hungry?" The taller teen shook his head.

 _What can we do? There's always good, old movie-watching. Or perhaps some sort of video game. Let's just go with a movie. That's not too suggestive or strange. I think._ "Just let me know when you are. Now, let's go watch something."

 _"What?"_  Eren mouthed as confusion took up residence in his face. Something lurked in the depths of his emerald eyes. Something Levi couldn't quite place.

He shrugged the feeling off. It was probably nothing. "Follow me and you shall see." A soft giggle erupted out of Eren's mouth. The chestnut-haired male immediately clapped a hand over his mouth and turned a million different shades of red.

Levi looked up at him and leaned so close that their noses were almost touching. His arms snaked beneath Eren's and around the taller teen's neck. It allowed him to pull Eren a little closer, which meant less standing on his tiptoes for Levi. The emerald-eyed teen tense at the touch, but relaxed a moment later. The scent of melons clung to Eren, but it was faint beneath the scent of Levi's lavender-scented body soap. That was certainly a smell he wanted to get used to.

"What's so funny?" he asked teasingly, his voice a sultry whisper. If possible, Eren's blush darkened. Even his ears burned red at the tips.  _He is too cute to be legal._ Silver eyes held emerald for a long time and didn't waver. Levi waited patiently for Eren to remove his hands from his mouth. There was a big grin stretched across his face, showing off straight, white teeth.

"You… rhymed," Eren croaked. The skin around his eyes crinkled in pain and he swallowed hard. Levi tilted his head up and skimmed his lips across Eren's nose.

He kissed one corner of Eren's mouth, then the other, and then he stopped, his lips a hair's breadth from Eren's. "Idiot…" he whispered. The raven-haired teen shut his eyes and closed the distance, miniscule as it was. Eren's mouth was still chapped, but it was also soft. The taste of mint chocolate chip lingered on his lips. Levi started the movement, a slow roll of his lips against Eren's. After a few seconds, Eren followed a little clumsily in suit. A smile threatened to rise to the surface. He slowly ran his tongue along Eren's mouth.

A pair of hands came up and clutched the back of Levi's shirt, no room to grasp the fabric on his chest. Pale fingers ran through still-damp brown hair in return. Levi gently captured Eren's bottom lip and nipped it. When the mouth hesitantly opened up beneath his, Levi let the smile grace his lips for a moment. His tongue slipped in and brushed along Eren's teeth.

Their bodies molded together until they were a tangle of clutching arms, somewhat awkwardly positioned legs, and slow-moving lips. Levi broke away after a minute or two, his face a few inches away from Eren's own flushed face. Both of them were out of breath, but Eren had a dazed grin on his face and his eyes were half-lidded. The green depths were filled with bliss and the tiniest bit of guilt. A scarlet blush stretched across Eren's cheeks.

The washing machine rumbled to life behind Levi and Eren flinched against him. Emerald eyes shot up, impossibly wide. The hands that clutched his shirt tightened. Fear flashed across his slim, tan face. It replaced the happy glow that had been there moments before. It was gone in the blink of an eye, but it had stayed long enough for Levi to see. Levi pulled one hand from around Eren's neck and set it beneath Eren's jaw, his thumb on Eren's chin.

"You're fine. It's just a bit loud sometimes. It's nothing to be afraid of." Eren nodded silently. The smile was gone. His eyes looked almost vacant. Levi stretched up on his toes again and pecked Eren on the lips. "Come on. Let's go watch that movie. It's your choice."

* * *

Eren opted to sit on the floor of Levi's room as they stared at the TV he had missed his first time in. It was on a stand on the far wall, which wasn't all that far. It was maybe fifteen feet from where he sat. Either way, the distance didn't matter.

Gunshots and explosions filled the air thanks to the speakers. Chilling screams of civilians created a mood of panic as they ran around, trying to escape the destruction of their city. Humanoid creatures on flying machines that looked like a jet ski-motorcycle hybrid raced across the screen.

A man wearing a tight, seemingly one-piece blue suit leapt around in startling displays of acrobatics and coordination, all while he toted a shield with red and white rings on it and a white star in the center. A woman wearing a skin-tight black jumpsuit fought nearby him, using pistols and hand-to-hand combat.

They were watching  _The Avengers_. Levi had given a bit of backstory to Eren. Much to the pale teen's obvious horror – or as close to horror as Levi would show – Eren knew next to nothing about any of them except Thor and Iron Man. Thankfully, the movie could be watched without too much background necessary – next to none in fact.

Levi sat on the bed behind him, one hand on his head. The pale fingers ran almost constantly through his hair, which both soothed and relaxed Eren. It made it easier to not flinch whenever a particularly loud explosion rocked the city of New York, or when the scenes reminded him too much of what he didn't want to be reminded of.

When the credits started to fill the screen, Eren rolled his head back to look up at Levi. Silver eyes flickered down to meet his. "Did you like?" Eren nodded with a grin on his face. It  _was_  a good movie. "Good. Phase One of Cultural Education is a success. Now… onto Phase Two."

That earned Levi a raised eyebrow and a confused stare.  _Phase Two? What the hell is he talking about?_

"I now see need to teach you in the ways of culture. You're terrifyingly deficient. Do you even know who Apocalyptica is?" Eren blinked slowly, unsure of how to answer. Levi shook his head in exasperation. "Oh, I'll show you… now turn around and watch the end scene."

The end scene was the Avengers grouped together in a demolished restaurant eating food quietly while the workers of the restaurant cleaned in the background. Eren shook his head and grinned. It was amusing in one of those weird ways.

* * *

True to his word, Levi had 'culturally educated' Eren. After they watched  _The Avengers,_  Levi waded through Netflix until he found  _Captain America: The First Avenger_  and played it. Eren found some parts of it strange, but as a whole, the movie was excellent. Admittedly, it was a bit sad and violent for his tastes, but he liked it nevertheless. It helped that Levi's fingers never strayed from his hair.

Now they both lay on Levi's bed, which had only a few inches to spare. They were pressed against each other, with Levi's leg thrown over Eren's. Music poured through Levi's speakers, the sound loud and strong. It settled into Eren's core, where it throbbed away, pulsing to the beat of his heart.

The variety of genres was startling: instrumental, punk, pop, classic, rock, multi-lingual, and everything else known to humanity. Eren was almost certain some bluegrass had played at one point. The songs played at random. Levi told him the name and artist to every single one of them: "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic; "Helden" by Apocalyptica; "The Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin; "Fuck the Rest" by Falling In Reverse; "I Forgive You" by Every Avenue; "Two Pieces, Op. 1" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to name a few.

"I hadn't really listened to any of Tchaikovsky's compositions until you mentioned him. Now I'm in the process of learning a few of them. Speaking of which, you never did tell me your favorite composition by him." Eren grinned and started to type. It was easy to keep his hand hidden from Levi as it faced the wall instead of the stoic teen.

**It's one of his chamber music compositions. 'Memory of a Cherished Place' for violin and piano. Opening 42, Meditation, Scherzo, and Melody. I love Meditation the most**

Levi nodded thoughtfully. "I haven't listened to those yet. I'll look that up later." Eren smiled and yawned. It was fifteen after twelve. Exhaustion was starting to set in. He was mildly surprised he hadn't fallen asleep yet. It was so peaceful in Levi's house. There was no threat of his father storming into the room and hitting him. There was no tense silence. There was no rush of fear at every single creak, although he couldn't help but jump and glance around nervously occasionally

Levi's presence soothed him. Around Levi, it was all light touches, soft voices, and intriguing comments as opposed to painful jabs, piercing shouts, and degrading jibes. Eren pulled his mind away from that train of thought and refocused it on Levi. He tapped Levi on the leg and showed the pale teen another message.

**Let's play 20 Questions**

Levi's shoulder shook with silent chuckles. "Let's do ten questions. We can ask ten more in the morning if you want. You ask first."

**Favorite color**

"Hm… I like green. It's a nice color. Very vibrant too."

**Favorite modern song**

"Good question…" Levi murmured. He glanced at Eren and shrugged. "I like 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons. It's deep."

**Favorite book**

"… Worst question you could have asked. Obviously, George R.R. Martin has my interest, but works by H.P. Lovecraft, John Green, and James Patterson are good too."

**Favorite TV show**

"That's a tie between  _American Horror Story_ and  _Supernatural._ "

**Supernatural is great. Dean is absolutely hilarious. Favorite movie**

"Mm… That he is, but I'm more of a Castiel fan. He tries so hard to do what he thinks is right that it's almost painful. And he always stands by his friends. I'd have to say  _Thor._  That's based on action mostly. Asgard is beautiful too. Are you going to waste twenty questions on what my favorites are?"

**Nah I just wanted to know your favorites first. How long have you been playing the piano?**

Levi hummed thoughtfully. One of his pale hands settled on Eren's thigh. The taller teen flushed and glanced away as Levi started to absently trace circles on his leg. It felt nice, if a little distracting. Eren took a breath and waited on Levi's response. "I don't really remember exactly when. My mother showed me a bit when I was very young. I picked it up again when I was about six and haven't stopped since."

**What about photography?**

"That's the same as the piano. The only difference is that her camera came with me. That was my constant childhood companion, that camera. It's broken now, that was inevitable. It's in a box under my bed." Eren didn't type anything for a moment. He didn't know much about Levi's mother aside from the fact that she was a sensitive subject. He must have really loved her if he still had her camera.

**Do you want to travel when you move out?**

Levi laughed mirthless and low. There was no real emotion behind it. "No. I've traveled more than enough."

**What places have you been to?**

He felt Levi shrug against him. "All over the US. If I haven't stayed in a state, I've been driven through it or taken a train through it. There was also the two-year stint in Quebec.  _That_  was eventful." Eren turned his head and looked at the side of Levi's face. The relatively stoic man looked sad almost. He wanted to reach out and touch Levi's face, to tell him not to be sad. Instead, Eren typed out another message, his last question for the night.

**Have you played any sports?**

The pillowcase rustled beneath Levi's head as he shook it. "I never had the time for sports. Now, let's begin the questioning." Levi rolled onto his side so that they faced each other. His hand came up and rested on Eren's stomach. "What's your favorite color?" The scent of mint toothpaste tickled Eren's nose, which was already filled with the lavender and cotton scent that accompanied Levi.

**I'm torn between blue and gold**

Levi nodded with an appreciative cast to his face. "Those are nice colors. They accent each other magnificently. What's your favorite animal?"

**Capuchin monkeys for sure. They're so cute**

"Not as cute as you," Levi whispered. His finger started to move on Eren's stomach, where he traced more circles. Blood rushed to Eren's face.  _How can he say something so embarrassing with such a straight face?_  "Next question… favorite TV show."

**Doctor Who. Both the original and the newer series**

"'People assume that time is a strict progression of  _cause_ to  _effect,_  but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey… stuff.'" Levi said it all without a second of hesitation. A grin broke out on Eren's face.  _Oh, God… he can quote it. And I thought he couldn't get any hotter. And people say nerds and geeks aren't hot._  "What's your favorite season?

**Autumn**

"Understandably… it's quite spectacular when all the leaves start to change colors. Raking them up is hell though." Soft laughter shook Eren's shoulders.  _That's certainly true._ "Then what's your favorite subject?"

**Haha and you got onto me about asking favorites XD Aside from music I'd have to say English, although I can't wait to take psychology**

Levi nodded. His fingers stilled on Eren's stomach again. The lanky teen wished Levi would continue. It had felt nice. At least the warm palm was still pressed against his abdomen. "Zoe told me that was a good course. I'm scheduled to take it in the spring. How long have you been playing the violin?"

**Since I was eight or so. My mother taught me**

"That's nice…" Levi murmured. "Do you have any other hobbies?"

**I sketch a bit. Read. Go on walks. Perform satanic rituals in the park**

"Hey, that's my job." Eren grinned and shook his head to say  _no, my job._  Levi's fingers started to move again. They moved further up until they were just beneath his pounding heart. There, they lingered and slowly began to move in circles again. Silence fell back between them as Levi thought. "Do you like to travel?"

**I've never left the city, but I dream of travelling someday**

"Where do you want to go?"

**The ocean**

Levi smiled and nestled his head against Eren's shoulder. Knees pressed against his thigh. "Then maybe one day we can go to the ocean. There's always Senior Week. I'll ask my eleven questions in the morning. Go to sleep." Eren hummed in response and shut his eyes. Levi curled up beside him and warmth traversed the short distance between their bodies.

He must have dozed for a few moments, because when he woke, the room was dark, no music played, and Levi was not by his side. No light came in from the curtains, so it was still night. Eren rolled onto his side. A blanket slipped off him and pooled alongside him. He smiled sleepily and stretched as he pulled it back across his body.

Everything smelled like lavender and cotton, something he now associated uniquely with Levi. Eren buried his head into one of Levi's pillows. Now that his eyes were open, they didn't seem to want to shut. The darkness was all around. The silence overwhelmed. It reminded him of home, where every sound, every shadow, made him flinch with fear. To be honest, he still did that at Levi's, or anywhere really, but it had been better when he was in Levi's presence. Something about the older teen just calmed him down and kept his mind far, far away from thoughts of his home.

 _I wish I could stay here… I wonder what Dad's gonna do when I come back home. I mean, he thinks I'm at Armin's. At least he tolerates Armin. Even so…_  Eren shuddered at the prospect of what violence possibly awaited him, hit his head into the pillow a few times and sighed.

A sound caught his attention, soft and quiet. It broke through the silence. The sound was relatively close, perhaps even on the same floor. Eren raised his head and stared in the direction of the door. With the moonlight, he could see a faint outline of the open door. Another sound came. It was a note from a piano. It faded into silence, which remained for a few seconds.

Then, more notes filled the air. This time, they didn't stop. Instead, the notes flowed in a continuous stream. There was one note, a constant one that occasionally rose or fell, but stayed more or less the same in tempo and range. The other notes rose and fell, rose and fell. Soon, those were joined by high, slowly played notes. The middle and high notes rose and fell together, almost mimicking each other in their movements. The higher notes slowed down for a moment and swelled in sound. The music was slow, peaceful. The song could almost have been a lullaby.

A wave of exhaustion swept over Eren. Emerald eyes flickered shut as Eren let himself fall into the quiet music. It filled the air. It surrounded him. Eren yawned and hugged one of the Levi-scented pillows closer as he drifted off to sleep to the sound of the piano.


	10. Tears

 

_The ground was soft beneath his body. The scent of grass and rain reached his nose. Eren cracked his eyes open. Gray clouds bunched overhead and threatened rain. He sat up slowly and glanced around._

_A field of grass surrounded him, vibrant, green, and full of plant life, although nothing grew above the top of the grass. Flowers were visible in occasional patches: splotches of violet, crimson, buttercup-yellow, coral pink, and more. It rippled with the wind until it looked like a multi-colored sea. There was nothing but the plains as far as the eye could see._

_Eren slowly rose to his small feet and slowly spun around in a complete circle. Some part of his mind made a note that he was on a hill that subtly broke the surface of the otherwise flat prairie. At first, he saw nothing. Then he turned around and spotted something, a break in the otherwise empty grassland. The break came in the form of a tree, massive despite the distance, and a gray patch of what must have been water. It called to him. Eren started to run._

_His tiny, bare feet slapped the groundas he ran. They seemed to skim overtop the earth. It almost felt like he was flying. Eren started to laugh, breathless and exultant. Free. He was free. From what, he couldn't remember, but he was_ free _._

_He reached the tree out of breath, but too delighted to care. Eren ran into the shallows of the pond, although it was more of a small lake. Small fish darted about as he splashed his way in, sand curling up beneath his toes. The water was warm, almost tropical, and infinitely inviting. Eren waded out until he was knee-deep. Only then did he grow still. He closed his eyes and took a breath._

_Only the scent of grass, dirt, and the impending rain reached him. Only the rustle of leaves, the whisper of the grass, and the slap of the waves against the sandy shore met his ears. It was peaceful. It was quiet. There was something he couldn't quite place. A sound that tickled the edge of his mind, yet he couldn't quite place it. Notes that rose and fell while a steady, soft note echoed beneath them. Almost like someone was playing music far of: a piano._

_Eren opened his eyes and turned around to go back onto solid ground. He stopped. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened in surprise. A woman stood by the water's edge. Long, dark, chestnut-colored hair fell unbound to her shoulders. Brown eyes glittered at him, full of warmth and love. The woman raised her hand and smiled, "Eren."_

_Shock poured through him, followed by confusion and grief. Eren's lip quivered. Tears threatened as water rimmed his eyes. "Mommy…?" His voice was little more than a hoarse squeak. Her smile only broadened as she gazed at him, at her child._

_Something broke in Eren and he started to cry, a mixture of grief and joy. He started to wade back towards her. "Mommy…" Eren sobbed as he flung himself into her arms._

_She pulled him close until his face was mashed against her stomach and ran her fingers through his hair. "It's alright my dear…" she whispered. "It's alright. You're safe."_

_Eren sniffed and clutched at her dress. She was here. She was real. She was alive. Emerald eyes rose, still filled with the promise of tears. "Mommy… don't go. Not again." The music in his mind faded into silence._

_Her smile faded and she glanced up at the lake behind him. "Eren… I'm sorry."_

_Thunder crashed overhead and a bolt of pure, white light slammed down in front of him. Something slammed down on Eren and pressed him into the sandy shore. Sand and grit filled his mouth and stung his eyes. The force turned into a foot. A familiar foot. Eren started to shake._

No… no… no.

_A hand grabbed his hair and pulled his head back until he could see the owner of the foot that was firmly planted in the middle of his back. Dark brown eyes glittered menacingly behind thin glasses. "Hello son," his father snarled._

_He let go of Eren's hairand picked his foot up, but he pulled the same foot back and kicked Eren in the side. Hard. Pain exploded in Eren's side and he gasped as the force rolled him onto his back. Fear constricted his throat, which started to burn._

_"Now," Grisha sneered as he raised his foot again, directly over Eren's chest. "Be a good little bitch and stay quiet." The foot descended towards Eren's chest. The impact jarred him and forced a huff of air out. Eren gasped and tried to push himself away. Instead, hands caught him by the front of his shirt and pulled him to a stop._

_"No…" his father whispered as a cruel smile stretched his mouth open. "You aren't going anywhere. This time… this time you're mine." The hands moved up and cupped his throat. Nonononono! Eren clawed at his father's hands. Nails bit into the skin, but his father paid no mind. Instead, he started to tighten his grasp on Eren's throat._

_The pressure slowly increased. Slowly choked off his air supply. Slowly rendered him almost completely mute. Again. The child's mind spun. Horror clouded his thoughts._ What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?

 _There was no one to save him. Not his mommy. Not Armin. Not Mikasa. Tear-filled emerald eyes clamped shut as Eren struggled to draw a breath into his young, aching lungs._ There is someone to save me. There's Levi _. His mouth opened again and he poured everything he had into a single scream, a tortured cry for help._

"Levi!"

* * *

Levi stared at Eren's face, the side he could see anyways. The teen was asleep, with his lips slightly parted and his face slack. It looked softer, more relaxed, than it did when Eren was awake. It certainly lacked that strange nervous cast that tended to hang around on it. He brought one hand up and brushed Eren's cheek with the back of his knuckles. The skin was warm to the touch.

Eren shifted a bit and leaned into the touch, but he didn't wake. The raven-haired teen sighed and pressed his forehead against Eren's shoulder again. He couldn't sleep. His thoughts were focused on that bruise beneath Eren's jaw. It was in such an odd place. On top of that, it must have been a strangle-shaped pole to give it that ovular shape

 _… Is he lying? Half-truths? I wouldn't be surprised if he is… I haven't exactly been telling him the truth._  Levi wasn't sure he wanted to divulge that information yet. Zoe was the only one he had confided in, and even then, he had only given her half of the picture. He hadn't told her about Milwaukee or running away or the orphanages. She had gotten the brighter half, the places that hadn't been too bad. Levi sighed and pushed himself up.

 _I'm not going to get any sleep like this… Neither is Eren if I keep moving. I need something to take my mind away for a bit._  He slowly swung his legs off his bed and rose quietly. He didn't want to wake Eren.

The pale teen glanced back at Eren.  _He's so relaxed, so open when he's sleeping…_  Levi grabbed one of the blankets from the end of his bed. It was made of soft, warm, dark green fabric. It came undone from its folded confines and he stretched it over Eren's sleeping form. He draped it over Eren's shoulders and leaned forwards.

"Sleep well, Eren…," the short male murmured as he brushed his lips against Eren's forehead. Eren mumbled something, but he couldn't make it out. Levi lingered there for a moment before he pulled back, turned out the lights, and left the room.

The room he sought was only two doors down from his and on the other side of the hall. The pale teen opened the door and stepped into the room. He didn't bother to close the door. He wouldn't play loud. He didn't bother with the lights either. There was enough moonlight coming in from the window that he didn't need it.

All that mattered was that he could see the piano and its ivory keys in the darkness, broken by shafts of silver moonlight. Levi was across the room and on the bench in seconds. Pale fingers touched paler keys. Their surfaces were cool and slick to the touch.

No music sat on the stand in front of him. He didn't need it, not tonight. Only one song would be played. A song he knew by heart. It would be sad if he didn't have it memorized. He had played it until he had perfected it. A composition by Debussy, "Arabesque No. 1." By far, Levi found it to be one of, if not, his favorite composition.

Levi flicked some imaginary dust off his beloved keys. His hands fell into familiar positions with his wrists arched up while his fingers barely skimmed the cool surface of the keys. The picture was clear in his mind. A woman stood by a grand piano in a music shop. The sunlight turned her orange hair into a blazing corona of scarlet. He could see her smile and hear her words, gentle but forceful.  _Close Levi, close. Try it again!_

A sigh escaped his lips. Despite the years, he could still remember her. After all, she was the one who had continued his education in music after his mother had passed. Levi took a breath. The tense slipped from his body and dissipated into the air.  _Begin._

The song began with two different beats: one was a slow, but steady one that stayed low and almost unheard beneath the other notes; the other consisted of many notes that rose and fell together in quick succession. Within seconds of the song's start, a third came into play. It was higher than the notes that rose and fell. It was quicker than the slow, steady note that otherwise remained unheard.

The slow, high notes swapped between their methodical play of rising and falling like the middle set of notes. Levi swayed back and forth slightly with the rise and fall of the middle notes. The melody was soft, quiet, and peaceful. It could have been a lullaby. The middle notes slowed and grew slightly softer until the highest notes were the loudest and the quickest. His fingers fluttered and drew out the quick shift from note to note.

All too soon, the composition came to an end. The final notes faded into silence until it was once more total. Levi's fingers finally came to a stop and they rested lightly on top of the smooth keys. Threads of sleepiness were starting to worm their way into his mind. That was understandable. It was late, sometime after one.

 _I wonder what it would be like to play a duet with Eren… What would we play?_  A thought crept to the front of his mind, something Eren had told him. "Memory of a Cherished Place" for violin and piano. Opening 42. Meditation.  _"I love Meditation the most."_ Levi smiled slightly and gently pressed one of the keys down. The soft sound filtered into the air.

It mixed with another sound, a fainter sound. He pulled his finger away and listened. The sound came again, a little louder. Levi pulled the fallboard into place and rose slowly, quietly. Soft steps carried him to the door of the dark room. He poked his head out and glanced both ways. Nothing moved in the shadows. Once more, the sound reached his ears. It came from his left… from his room.

The raven-haired teen slunk down the hall towards his room. The sounds grew louder, more incessant as he went. He slid into his room and stared through the darkness. In the gloom, he could make out no movement. The sound broke the silence again, clear, loud, and full of fear. It was a whimper.

Levi flicked the light on and the sudden brightness was almost blinding. Silver eyes flickered a few times before they fell on the body lying on his bed. Eren's entire body moved or twitched in some way.

It almost looked like he was trying to kick someone, an unseen assailant. His hands were at his throat and clawed at the skin. Tears slipped from his eyes while his mouth parted as he gasped. Every muscle was locked out and rigid. Red welts started to rise on his neck where he clawed. Eren's eyes flickered beneath his eyelids.

Levi was frozen. Shock rooted him to the spot. His mind wouldn't function. All he could do was stare at the tan teen on his bed. Eren sucked another breath down and his face tightened.  _"Levi!"_  The scream burst from his mouth, filled with panic and terror.

Levi snapped out of his daze and was across the room in seconds. One hand grabbed Eren's and pulled them away from his throat. Red welts covered the tan skin. Blood trickled out of a few spots were the skin had broken. Eren still thrashed about, unable to wake.

Two thoughts came to mind of how to wake Eren: shake him or slap him. Hopefully the second option wouldn't be needed. Levi pressed Eren's hands against his chest and vaulted up onto his bed. The pale teen straddled Eren's waist so he could pin Eren's arms to his sides. That would keep them in place for a bit.

He grabbed Eren's shoulders and started to shake him. All the while, whimpers continued to fall from Eren's lips. Levi shook him harder. "Eren! Eren, wake up!"

Emerald eyes snapped open, wild and full of terror. The teen's limbs stilled, but his muscles remained taut. It almost felt like Eren was tensed to heave against Levi and bolt like a terrified animal. Gray and green eyes met. Concern filled the former while the latter was blank with panic. Eren's chest heaved beneath his knee. His nostrils were wide and his mouth was clamped shut. The red welts on Eren's neck drew his eye. That was unavoidable.

"Eren…" Levi whispered. "Eren… you're fine. You're safe. I'm here. I'll keep you safe." Recognition slipped through the fear-induced haze and Eren shuddered. Watery green eyes clenched shut as Eren went limp. Levi let go of Eren's shoulders and watched Eren's face for a moment. The tears that started to leak from Eren's eyes didn't go unnoticed. Neither did the tremor that started.

The steel-eyed male shifted back a bit and pulled Eren up until their foreheads were pressed together. Dull green eyes flickered open and met soft gray eyes. Levi pulled Eren's head down onto his shoulder and wrapped his arms around the boy's chest. Chestnut hair caressed his cheek while the aroma of melons and lavender tickled his nose.

With his arms around Eren, he could feel every tremor, every twitch that rolled through his distraught form. Eren shuddered again and his entire body heaved. A sound tore from his throat, a soft sob. One of Levi's hands started to rub circles in the middle of Eren's back while the other tangled itself into the thick, silky, brown hair on the back of Eren's head. He could feel the flinch that rolled through Eren's body as his hand ghosted over the back of the teen's neck.

Eren shuddered again. His hands came up and clutched the back of Levi's shirt. Levi could feel Eren's heart hammering against his chest. The frantic thrum showed no signs of slowing.

"It's alright Eren…" he whispered into the boy's ear. "You're fine. You're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you, okay? I'll make sure of that. I won't leave you. I promise." Pale hands rubbed slow, random patterns on Eren's back and head. His voice was soft, quiet, and soothing. Eren's heart began to slow, from a frantic beat to something that was a little faster than normal.

Another shudder rolled through Eren. It was accompanied by a loud sob. Wet spots started to form on Levi's shoulder. If it had been anyone else, they would have been off his shoulder, off his bed, in an instant. Levi only pressed Eren closer and continued to stroke the back of his head. "Don't hold it in. If you want to cry, cry."

The hands that grasped the back of his shirt spasmed once. Eren's shoulder shook once, twice, and then they didn't stop shaking. Hysterical sobs wracked Eren's body and tears that Levi couldn't see dripped onto his shoulder. He kept running his hand along Eren's back and rubbing soothing warmth into the back of the teen's head.

 _What happened in his dream? What scared him so much? Will he even remember? Scratch that, will he even want to tell me about it?_  His fingers stilled in Eren's hair as he stared down at the young teen's shoulder. _Why was he clawing at his throat?_

The pale fingers resumed their previous action. Levi wasn't sure how long it took, but Eren's shoulders eventually ceased to heave and the teen went limp against him. Sometime after that, his shoulder started to dry.

After a few moments, Eren pulled his head away from Levi's shoulder. His face was a mess. Normally vibrant emerald eyes were dull, bloodshot, and red around the edges. The rest of his face was a mixture of red and white. The scratches on his throat weren't quite as visible as they had been. "Sorry…" Eren whispered through chapped lips. His voice cracked halfway through the word.

The hand on the back of Eren's head came up and cupped Eren's cheek. "Don't say you're sorry," he whispered. "Are you okay?" Eren gave a noncommittal shrug. Levi stared at Eren for a moment. Gray eyes fell back to the scratches on his neck. "Come on. Let's get those cleaned up." Eren's hands slowly loosened on Levi's shirt and the raven-haired teen stood.

The nerves in his legs slowly started to come back to life. Levi took Eren's hand and gently tugged on it until the taller male swung his legs off the bed and rose. He pressed Eren close as he directed Eren to the bathroom. Pale fingers flicked the light on and patted the countertop. "Sit here."

As Eren situated himself, Levi started to dig around the bathroom. A washcloth, some cotton balls, hydrogen peroxide, and a box of Band-Aids joined Eren on the countertop. Levi glanced at Eren as he ran warm water over the washcloth.

The younger teen looked exhausted. He looked defeated. In fact, he almost looked like an injured animal. His eyes flickered around. He flinched at every noise. He sat with hunched shoulders and muscles that went between tense and loose at every sound. Levi turned the faucet off and squeezed the excess water from the cloth.

"Tilt your head back." He kept his voice soft. Eren went to tilt his neck back before he hesitated. Green eyes slid over to silver eyes, nervous and apprehensive. "Please?" Levi whispered.

The chestnut-haired teen bit his lip, but tilted his head back anyways. Gray eyes fell onto the red scratch marks. They travelled up to where the bruise was. Small and blue, with yellow discoloration around the edges. That's was why Eren had been holding his head oddly, always slightly down and to the right. Even after he had first noticed it, Eren had continued to tuck his head, as if that could wipe it from Levi's memory.

Levi gently pressed the cloth against Eren's neck. He didn't miss the not-so-subtle-but-obviously-an-attempt-to-be subtle jerk of Eren's head at contact. "It's alright," Levi murmured. "This won't hurt… the peroxide is the only thing that might." He continued to dab at Eren's neck. The brown cloth rasped over the light brown skin. The tiny droplets of blood came away.

Once his neck was devoid of the minuscule streaks of blood, Levi set the cloth into the sink so he could grab the bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a cotton ball. "It's gonna sting a bit," he murmured as he doused the ball of white fluff in the clear-ish, strong-smelling liquid.

Eren's face tightened as Levi brought the cotton ball beneath his neck. Levi dabbed one of the scratches. Eren pulled back slightly. A pale hand went to his knee and squeezed it. "Bear with it. It'll be done soon."

A soft sigh was his response, but Eren leaned forwards slightly. Levi's lips twitched up slightly and he dabbed at Eren's neck once more. From there, the process was quick. Perhaps the Band-Aids were a bit much, but Levi believed in safe rather than sorry. Germs were disgusting, but the thought of an infection that could have easily been prevented was downright horrifying. Eren wouldn't get an infection, not on his watch.

Levi put the items back in their appropriate places. To put them anywhere else might as well have been sacrilege. Once he was done, Levi washed his hands thoroughly and plucked his contacts from his eyes. The world slid out of focus and became a blur that only vaguely made a shape unless he squinted or it was within a few feet of him. Eren slipped off the countertop and waited until Levi was done and he was ushered out of the bathroom. It was almost two o'clock.

"Eren… do you want to go back to sleep?" The taller teen glanced back at Levi and bit his lip for a moment. He turned his back on Levi and walked over to the bedside table where he had set his phone. Levi squinted and followed. He plucked his glasses from his nightstand and slid them into place. The world sharpened once more.

Silver eyes flickered up and stared at Eren's face as the tall teen typed. His face was wan and drawn. He looked nervous and exhaustion was evident in the planes of his face. Levi's gaze slid down to his neck, to his shoulder, and down the length of his arm. All the way to his ever so slightly discolored hand. There was a yellow tinge to it, with a few, indistinct blue spots just below his knuckles. "Eren… what happened to your hand?"

The same hand twitched, but he continued to type. Levi didn't look at the message. He waited until Eren was done before he read the it. It only took Eren another minute to type it out and show Levi.

**Yes but… Can you stay with me? I hit my hand on a wall by accident. It's nothing**

Levi looked up at Eren. The emerald-eyed boy refused to meet his gaze. It was blatantly obvious that Eren wasn't going to say any more on the matter. "I'll stay with you." That earned him a nod and a wan smile, the latter of which made his chest tighten.  _I don't want to see Eren looking so sad, so tired, so…_ defeated _. It's not right, not for him._  Levi set his glasses next to Eren's phone and waited until Eren was on the bed before he crawled up after him.

It took a few moments to get situated, but they finally ended up facing each other with the blanket draped over their bodies. There was barely an inch of space between their heads. Levi's arm was slung over Eren's side, his palm pressed against the boy's back. In turn, one of Eren's legs was twined with Levi's.

Levi pressed his forehead against Eren's and sighed quietly. "Are you alright now? Tired?" Eren nodded. "Good… You know, you really scared me there for a minute. I didn't know what was going on."

Eren shuddered slightly and snaked his arm over Levi's side. "Sorry…" he whispered. His voice was hoarse, almost inaudible.

Levi remember Eren's scream.  _That must have hurt so much… Yet he keeps talking. He's trying to reassure me as much as I'm trying to reassure him._

The shorter male pressed Eren closer. It took a few moments, but he shifted up a bit more so he could rest his chin on Eren's head. Fluffy chestnut strands of hair tickled his chin and neck. He started to hum quietly. First, he hummed "Canon" in D Major by Pachelbel before he switched to "Arabesque No. 1".

Eren stayed silent as Levi hummed quietly. Only when he had finished "Arabesque" did he make a sound. "Levi… I'm sorry." The words were so soft that Levi almost thought he had imagined them. He pulled his head back a bit and peered at Eren's face. The boy's eyes were shut tight and his breaths were slow and even.

Levi set his head back on top of Eren's head. "No Eren…  _I'm_  sorry. Now, stop talking. I know it hurts and a I doubt you're doing your vocal chords any favors." Eren flinched slightly as Levi started to hum again, not wanting to give Eren a chance to cause himself more pain.

* * *

An ear-piercing cacophony of bells jarred Armin awake. He rolled over and slammed his hand on his phone. It continued to ring. Armin punched the accept button and put the phone to his ear. "Who is this? Why are you calling at…" he spared a glance at his alarm clock, "At two o'clock in the freaking  _morning_?!"

 _"Aaarmin,"_  the voice sang. It was vaguely familiar, but it sounded strange. The voice was definitely masculine, but it sounded thick, low.

Eren never called. Armin's father was, and had been, out of the picture, so he  _definitely_  wasn't on the other end of the call. It made no sense for his grandfather to call him when they were in the same house, so it wasn't him. Nor was it Eren's father. It wasn't Levi. Marco was out, along with several others.

All that came in response to his questions was lots of giggling.  _Drunken_  giggling. Armin pulled his phone back and checked the Caller ID.  **Jean Kirschtein**. The short teen put the cell back to his ear. "Jean, are you drunk?"

 _"Only tipsy,"_  Jean muttered. He sounded like he was pouting, much like a guilty child would sound.

"Jean…"

 _"I had to be,"_  Jean protested.

"You had to be? Why?"

 _"Don't ask Armin,"_  Jean begged. He begged. He actually  _begged_.  _"I can't tell you…"_

"Then why did you call me?"

_"Cause I wanna hear you talk… Talk, Armin, please? For me?"_

Armin pulled his phone away again and stared at it for a moment. Thoughts slammed around in his head. Jean sounded positively miserable. He sounded like he was about to cry. That surprised Armin the most.

The fact that Jean Kirschtein, usually so upbeat, full of grins, and ready to squabble at any moment, sounded as if someone had just run over his dog, Pepper. It was all too easy to imagine Jean sitting in his room, alone and in tears. That thought pulled on Armin's heartstrings.  _Not fair… He'll call to talk when he's drunk, yet he can't realize I've got a crush on him. Idiot…_

Armin started to talk. He assumed Jean meant talk about anything, and anything was what he talked about. "Well, the Sequoioideae, also known as the redwood tree, has three subfamilies:  _Sequoia_ ,  _Sequoiadendron_ , which is from California and Oregon, and the  _Metasequoia_ , from China. The  _Metasequoia_  are much smaller. The Hyperion Tree is the tallest tree in the world. It's a  _Sequoia sempervirens_. The thickest, by volume, is the General Sherman Tree, which is a  _Sequoiadendron giganteum_."

He talked about anything that came to mind: information that he had researched or read; books that he had read recently; music he listened to; what he had done that day, even that week; anything and everything really. Armin even ranted about how plane tickets were going up, which would make his travels around the world more expensive. Nearly two hours passed with minimal input from Jean before the other teen said something during one of Armin's lulls.  _"Armin… I'm sorry. Really. I am. I didn't… those awful things I said…"_

A soft, strangled sound came over the phone. It took Armin a few seconds to realize what it was: a sob. Jean was crying. "Jean. Jean, are you alright?"

 _"I'm good, I'm good,"_  the ashen-haired teen muttered.

His voice was thick again, but this time it was with tears. Armin's chest constricted. "You can tell me Jean. You really can."

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other side.  _"Sorry Armin. I've got to go. Sorry for bothering you."_

The call dropped before Armin could say anything. The blonde teen pulled his phone away and stared at it until the screen went dark. Tears prickled at sky blue eyes and slowly started to drip down pale cheeks. "Idiot…" Armin whispered into the darkness of his room.  _What is he not saying?_

* * *

The return to consciousness was slow. Eren wasn't exactly sure when he woke, but his eyes opened after a while. His mind, drugged with sleep, was slow to process. For several moments, he simply stared at the ceiling. White, smooth, and illuminated by the sunlight that seeped through the half-open curtains. It was all he could focus his hazy mind on. That and the warm, somewhat heavy weight settled on top of his chest.

Eren raised his head slightly so he could see. A mop of messy, pitch-black hair rested in the middle of his chest. Levi's left hand was still locked with his and rested by his right hip. The silver-eyed teen was halfway splayed on the left half of Eren's body. His left leg was thrown over Eren's leg. Eren shut his eyes again and brought his free hand up to Levi's head. He ran his fingers through it, reveling in the silky texture.  _So soft… it's like petting a cat. Except Levi's a lot cuter. And warmer. Jesus, his hair is so… soft._

As he lay there in the silence, the unsettling dream from that night crept back into his mind. Eren sighed. It had started out so good, only to turn into sheer terror. Even at Levi's he couldn't quite escape his father's influence. A knot of unease settled into his stomach. Going home definitely wasn't high on the list of things he wanted to do.

After a few minutes, Levi shifted beneath his touch, slowly tilted his head back, and pressed against Eren a little more. Silver eyes, half-open and glazed with sleep, met green orbs.

"Mornin'…" Levi murmured with a voice low and rough with sleep. It was positively sexy and he could easily imagine waking up to it every day. Eren hummed quietly in response. He continued to pet the silken black strands. Levi let his head returned to its former position. "Having fun there?" Another hum came in response. "Let's just stay here all day…"

Eren smiled and looked back at the ceiling. It sounded like a good idea. Scratch that, it sounded  _wonderful_ , but doubtlessly his father was looking for his favorite punching bag.  _Maybe I could just text him… tell him I'm staying another night… No. I can't. He'd be pissed. I don't know what he'd do if I did that…_

He didn't realize his fingers had fallen still until Levi shifted on his chest again. The sable-haired teen peered at him. "Much to my distaste, we should probably get up. Get breakfast. Make virgin sacrifices. The whole nine yards." Levi said it all in a deadpan. Eren couldn't help but laugh. Just the way Levi said it made it funny, even if he wasn't trying to be. It took a few minutes to rise from bed and grab their phone and glasses respectively.

 _I really like it when he's wearing glasses. It makes his face a little softer, his eyes a little bigger, and just gives him an aura of being even more refined than usual._ That aura was slightly ruined by the messy mop of jet-black hair and storm-gray eyes that were still hazy with sleep; making him appear a bit younger and a lot cuter. And by his coarse language, but he liked him like that. Levi didn't really curse in an angry way: it was more spontaneous, more a part of his personality. It was something that just came with Levi and it wouldn't be right if it was any other way.

"Alright… first things first. Coffee. Do you drink coffee?" Eren shook his head. "Ah… what a pity. Drink of the gods, that is. Can't survive without it. A cup a day keeps the idiots away."

Eren ginned and followed Levi out of his room. He glanced in the rooms as they passed. Two had shut doors but the third door they passed, the second on Eren's right, was open. He peered in as they passed. There was a baby grand piano sitting inside. Jade eyes brightened, but Eren continued to walk.  _I knew someone was playing last night. Levi was playing. God, it was beautiful. I want to hear him play again. Soon. Preferably, when I'm conscious._

Some of the stairs creaked as they went down. Levi's steps were almost as soft as Eren's. It was hard to resist the urge to test each step so he could find an absolutely silent path down.

He followed Levi down to the first floor and into the kitchen. It was more of a kitchen-dining room hybrid, as it extended to the right so it could fit an oak table big enough for six. The cabinets were made of dark red-brown wood and the counters were topped with smooth, gray stone. There was a lot of chrome. Levi wandered over to a coffee pot that sat between a knife block and a toaster. He grabbed a mug from the cabinet above and started the coffee maker.

"What do you want to eat? We've got cereal, eggs, Pop tarts, human flesh." He smirked at Eren with the last one. "Cannibalism is the latest fad." Eren rolled his eyes and grinned. "Seriously though, what do you want" The taller teen shrugged and typed out a quick message.

**Whatever you want**

"Coffee and cereal it is. I can cook, but it's too damn early."

**Its 9 45**

"… And your point is?" Eren grinned and shook his head. The knot of unease loosened a little. Around Levi, it was easy to relax. Easy to smile. Easy to  _forget_. Even if it only lasted a little while. Two small white bowls were set onto the stone countertop with loud clicks and two spoons were delicately set beside them. Levi opened one of the cabinets and peered inside. "What do you want?" Eren looked over his shoulder. There was one box of cereal on the top shelf, an opened blue box on the shelf below, and things that definitely didn't resemble breakfast foods around and below them.

"Actually… the only choice you've got it Cheerios. Or you can have a blueberry Pop tart." Eren held up one finger. "Cheerios then." Levi stretched up onto his toes and fumbled at the box. Pale fingers skimmed the bottom edge. All he managed to do was push it back a little further. "God dammit… I need a chair."

Eren reached over Levi's head and grabbed the box. He set it down on the counter. Silver eyes flickered up to meet his and Eren smiled sheepishly. Levi crooked one finger. "Bend down." Eren complied and bent down until their faces were a few inches apart. The scent of lavender and cotton tickled his nose pleasantly. The sable-haired teen leaned forwards and skimmed his lips across Eren's forehead.

"Thank God one of us is tall. Now stop being so tall. It makes you hard to kiss." Levi pulled back and grabbed the box. There was a faint red tint to his cheeks.  _He does realize that turning away can't hide his blush, right? He's adorable…_

Armed with bowls of cereal thoroughly drowned in milk and coffee for one, they sat down and ate in companionable silence. Once they finished eating, Levi grabbed their clothes from the dryer. Apparently, the pale teen had gone downstairs at some point during the night in order to put their clothes into the dryer.

Eren changed in Levi's bathroom. Going home in Levi's clothes was definitely  _not_  something that would be safe. He wouldn't have done it, not even if his own clothes had been ruined. That would lead to too many questions. As Eren changed, safely locked in the bathroom, he checked his messages.  **Dad (1)**. The chestnut-haired teen swallowed nervously and opened the message.

 **From Dad:**  
 **Be home at 11**  
 **Received: 1:43 AM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

It had come last night, probably when he had fallen asleep the first time. Eren checked the time.  **10:15**. He'd have to leave soon. He leaned down and pressed his head against the countertop.  _Dammit… I don't wanna go home. I want to stay here._  After a few moments, Eren straightened up and sighed. The door unlocked with a click and he walked back into Levi's room, already typing out a message. Levi glanced up as he left. The blanket they had used last night was folded on top of his bed, as were his clothes. Silver eyes ran over the message when Eren showed it to him.

**I've got to go. My dad wants me home soon. Sorry**

Levi waved his apology off and took the clothes Eren had slept in. "Don't worry. Parents are demanding sometimes."  _Or they're abusive and make demands that if they aren't met, you're beaten…_

Eren trailed after Levi as the pale teen dropped the tank top and sweats into the washing machine. The raven-haired teen walked back to the front door with Eren before the machine rumbled to life. Since he had come with nothing but his phone, there was nothing to gather and make sure he didn't forget.

Eren grabbed his shoes and pulled them on. As he tied them, Levi put a hand on his shoulder. "Wait here," Levi said. Emerald eyes followed Levi as he darted up the stairs and disappeared. He pulled the final knot and straightened up. Faint clacks reached his ears.  _What is Levi doing?_

Footsteps reached his ears a moment later and then Levi reappeared, something clutched in his hands. Three things to be precise. All of them were CD cases.

Levi stopped in front of Eren and held them out. "Listen to them. I think you'll like them." Eren hesitantly took them and peeked at the covers. The first was a Sabaton album: The Art of War. The second was a Breaking Benjamin album: Phobia. The one on the bottom was an All Time Low album: So Wrong, It's Right.

That one didn't really surprise Eren. Lots of music that Levi listened to didn't seem to fit his personality at first, before his deeper layers were revealed. That's was when everything that didn't seem to fit quite right before turned out to fit perfectly _._  Eren glanced up at Levi and smiled shyly. He pulled his phone out again and typed a quick message.

**You sure?**

"Of course," Levi said. "If I wasn't, would I be handing them to you?" Eren shrugged and pocketed his phone. "Exactly," Levi murmured. The word was accompanied by a flick of his wrist.

Two pale arms looped around Eren's neck and pulled him down. Levi kissed Eren on the corners of his mouth before his mouth finally brushed against Eren's. Eren shivered, but it wasn't in fear. The hesitation wasn't as long as usual. His arms wrapped around Levi's waist and pulled the smaller male closer. Jade eyes slipped shut and Eren let Levi take control.

He'd rather have more time with Levi and be late rather than leave now and get home on time. Lavender and cotton invaded his senses. Levi's lips were soft beneath his, unlike his own. The pale teen's kiss was slow and sensual as Levi took his time. Eren didn't mind. He enjoyed every second of it. Much to Eren's not-so-subtle disappointment, Levi pulled away soon, far too soon for his taste.

The raven-haired teen kept his arms looped around Eren's neck and peered up at him, his face blank, but his silver eyes bright. "Text me soon." Levi smiled. Not one where only the corner of his mouth curled. Not a smirk. A true, genuine smile, albeit a small one. Blood rushed straight to Eren's face and he nodded.

 _He's smiling. Actually smiling. I knew it'd be beautiful, I knew it! I want to see that smile more… I want to see it every day, every hour, every minute._  Levi chuckled and opened the door. "See you soon." Eren nodded and glanced at Levi one more time before he left. The smile still graced his face.

The emerald-eyed teen smiled in return and waved before he turned and started the walk back to his house. His mind was a hurricane of thoughts, and in the eye of that storm sat Levi. Perfect, beautiful Levi. Eren smiled and stuck his hands in his pockets. Just being around Levi was like breathing fresh air. He could forget. He could relax. He could let himself be  _normal_. Well, as normal as he could get.

Eren crossed the street and sighed heavily.  _It's too bad it can't last. That I have to go home… to him._   _Back to my father. Back to the heavy fists. The shouts and curses. Back to the pain._  Eren shuddered and clenched his hands.

A fresh knot of anxiety settled in his stomach. Over the course of twenty minutes, the knot only grew until it seemed like it was going to overwhelm him. The walk was long, but the walk up to his porch was even longer. His father's car was in the driveway. It was one of his days off.

 _Oh God… I forgot. Please be unconscious, please be unconscious. Please don't be awake. Please don't be drunk. Please don't be in a bad mood. Please, please, please._ He stopped in front of the door and stared at the knob for a few moments. His hands were shaking. Fuck, his entire body shook, not just his hands. Eren swallowed nervously and grabbed the door handle.


	11. Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abuse.

 

Loud snores reverberated through the house. In the background, someone talked. The voice was faint. The TV was probably on. Most of the lights were out. Eren breathed a sigh of relief and quietly shut the door behind him. His father was asleep. Hopefully, he'd be unconscious for a few more hours. It'd be even better if he managed to sleep off his hangover and wake up in a decent mood.

Eren eased himself up the steps. It was an easy, familiar ascent. Every step found a solid part of the boards and he was up on the landing within a minute. Eren glanced over to his right. His father was in the den, asleep in the blue armchair. With his head dropped back, his mouth open, and his face slack, he was almost certainly out cold.

Only one bottle was visible. It sat on the end table with only a mouthful of liquid inside the translucent brown bottle. For several minutes, all Eren could do was stare at the unmoving lump known as his father. Rarely did he have so little to drink on a day off. Why would he choose to do that then? Eren's stomach clenched with unease. It could only mean trouble.

The chestnut-haired teen slowly backed down the hall. Emerald orbs never left the chair and the man sleeping on it. He was too afraid to tear his eyes away. Too afraid in case it was only an act and his father was actually ready to lurch up and attack him. Only when his father disappeared behind the corner of the wall did Eren pull his eyes away. Only then could he release the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Eren gradually pressed his door open and slipped in through a crack barely wide enough to fit through. The room was quite, warm, and dark. He set the CDs and his phone down on his desk before he glanced around at his room. Exactly how he had left it. The tall teen sighed and crossed his room, so he could slide onto his bed and bury his head into the green pillows.

He turned his head and looked at the floor. The book he had hit his father with was still lying on the floor. One hand rose to cup his throat at the base - over skin and Band-Aids.  _Fingers tightened around his throat and started to choke off his air supply._

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. Eren shuddered and buried his face back into his pillow.  _I'm so afraid… Have I always been this way? It's hard to remember a time when I wasn't scared, wasn't terrified. When I was at ease in this house. Or have I just always been afraid and I never realized it?_

Eren turned his head again. Emerald eyes gave the book a wide berth and strayed across the room until they fell upon the violin case. If only his father wasn't home. The noise would only piss him off.

The lanky teen rolled onto his back and sighed.  _At least I can remember what Levi was playing. I wish I had stayed awake… It was so beautiful… I'll ask what it was when I talk to him next._  Eren started to hum it quietly. He hadn't heard much, but it was enough. About forty seconds worth of the song stayed in his head. He hummed those forty seconds again and again.

It was all too easy to see Levi sitting in front of him, seated at a sleek, black grand piano. To see slim, white fingers dance over ivory keys. To hear the enchanting melodies that Levi could doubtlessly play. Eren smiled and closed his eyes. The knot of tension was almost gone. Levi took it all away.

The snores from downstairs cut off. Eren's humming followed in suit. He waited in tense silence, his heart practically in his throat, as he waited. And waited. And waited some more. Eventually, the sound of footsteps reached his ears. They came closer and then they started to fade. Downstairs. His father was going downstairs.

A soft sigh of relief escape Eren and he let his head hit the bed again. He hadn't realized he had tensed, ready to bolt, not that doing such a thing would have helped. There was only one exit that didn't involve a two-story drop down to the ground.

After a few minutes, Eren rose and started up his computer. He grabbed his headphones and one of the CDs, the Breaking Benjamin one. With the headphones plugged in, there was no way his father would be disturbed. The faint clink of bottles reached Eren.  _No surprise there… I'm surprised he isn't comatose by now._

Both ear buds went into his ears. Eren opened iTunes and watched as the playlist loaded. He skipped past the one labeled "Intro" and started with "The Diary of Jane." The soft strum of guitars and beat of drums and cymbals greeted his ears. After a few moments, the guitar grew louder. Soon after, the singer's voice came pouring through the ear buds. He sat still and listened carefully. Emerald eyes slid out of focus. The song became his focus. The song became  _everything_.

He didn't even make it through the first song.

The door opened with a bang and Eren lurched backwards. The music was cut off as his ear buds fell out. His chair tilted backwards. Eren lurched forwards and the legs of the chair slammed back onto the wooden floor. The chestnut-haired teen stared up at his father.

Brown eyes glared at him from behind gray-framed glasses. His eyes were clear. Every inch of his body radiated anger. Eren couldn't fathom what his father was angry about. All he could think about was the fear that had a stranglehold on his throat, the way his heart didn't seem to want to work quite right, the way he was frozen to the chair, and how his father looked painfully sober and ready to inflict pain.

His father stepped further into the room and shut the door before he turned to face Eren. "Well?" he demanded.  _Well what?_  "What have I told you about leaving without telling me first? What did I tell you, you little freak?" Eren cringed and bowed his head slightly. Perhaps a submissive pose would urge his father to leave him alone. "Are you going to fucking answer me?" Grisha snarled. His voice rose and took on a threatening tone.

A shudder rolled up Eren's body. "Tell… before… leaving…" he rasped. Each word burned a little more than the last as it rolled off his tongue. Fear clouded Eren's thoughts. Blood rushed in Eren's ears and muffled his father's voice.

"And what did you do?" Eren didn't respond. He focused more on trying to keep his breaths even instead of the panicky gasps he was tempted to give into. "What. Did. You. Do?"

Eren swallowed hard and choked back a gasp. "Didn't tell," he whispered. He wasn't sure what exactly his father was doing, but he definitely didn't like it. Grisha gnashed his teeth together. There was an absolutely terrifying smirk on his face, both feral and vicious. "You didn't get home at eleven either."

Eren's mouth dropped open.  _I did! I got home at ten till eleven!_  The panic doubled. It was almost overwhelming. He felt like he was about to break into hysterical sobs at any moment. "Did…" Eren gasped. His father cupped his hand to his ear, a malicious sneer on his face.

The emerald-eyed teen swallowed and forced his voice to go as loud as possible. It was low and rough, as if he had been a chain smoker for twenty years. "I did."

Oh God, it _burned_. So. Much. Pain. The words were like fire in his throat. It felt like someone had dumped acid down his throat. Or perhaps they had made him drink gasoline before they lit the match and let it follow to turn his insides to a hot inferno, charring everything the flames could lick. Tears stung at green eyes, morphing them into pools of jade filled with pain, but Eren blinked them back.

"No… I don't think you did." Grisha stepped forwards until he was right in front of Eren. "You know what that means, right?" Eren stared up at his father, eyes stretched wide and his body rooted in place. His heart hammered heavily in his chest. It refused to beat right out of his chest. That would have been too simple, too convenient of an escape.

Grisha grabbed his son by his hair and hauled him up from the chair. Eren grimaced in pain and shot up to minimize the pain of having his scalp practically torn from his skull. His father let his hair go and glared at him. "Nothing to say?" he sneered.

Eren's throat bobbed, but he didn't swallow. His mouth was too dry. Thoughts of escape ran rampant through his mind, but he couldn't; His body was too numb, too frozen with fear. Escape was not improbable: it was impossible.

A hand cuffed him on the head, just over the ear. It was hard enough to make him stumble and bring a faint ring to his inner-ear. Another hand smashed into his other ear. The momentum sent his already unsteady body stumbling to the right. Both ears rang with a faint, unnamable tone. His father hit him in the back of the head.

Black spots danced across Eren's vision and he sank to his knees, too unsteady to maintain his balance. The rustle of cloth penetrated the dull, ringing tone in his ears. Eren slowly tilted his head up. His father held his belt in his hand. The other hand shot out, grabbed a fistful of chestnut hair, and wrenched his head up. Eren rose with his father's hand, his face tight with pain. It felt like his roots were about to be torn from his scalp. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes again.

The lanky teen raised his hands to his head. They were barely above his shoulders when the leather belt snapped into his wrist. Eren jerked his hands back as pain flared up across his arm. His father crouched down in front of him. With a face smoother than a worn stone and devoid of emotion, he almost looked like he wasn't angry for God knew what reasons. Only his eyes, smoldering pits of brown and black, betrayed the strange fury inside him.

Terror pulsed inside of Eren and chilled his body. _Not good not good not good not good._  The hand in his hair dragged his head down. His head slammed into the ground, hard enough that color faded from his world and the ringing in his ears intensified. Eren went limp. He was too dazed to focus on anything but the way the world swam and the pain-filled lump otherwise known as his forehead.

The hand pulled away and a foot ground down onto the back of his neck. Eren flinched into the floor and scrabbled at the ground with one hand. There was nothing nearby to grab. Nothing to save him; not this time. Terror pounded through his veins.  _How long will it go on? How long?_  His father only ground his heel into his neck, where it pinched the skin and twisted on of his cervical vertebrae painfully.

The pressure eased slightly for a moment. Eren tried to raise his head again. His head was promptly smashed back into the ground once more. A fresh wave of pain rolled through his head. A soft groan passed the lanky teen's lips. There was a soft sound, something like a snort. The belt hit his back with a snap. Pain blossomed to life in a long strip. Eren jerked against the foot as a soft, pained cry escape him. Tears stung the corners of his eyes and threatened to spill over.

The emerald-eyed teen pressed his forehead against the cold wooden floor and bit his tongue.  _Don't cry. No sounds. Don't cry. Don't cry. No sounds. Don't cry. No sounds._  The mantra echoed in his head, the only clear thought in the haze that insisted upon lingering. His father struck him again with the belt. Another strip of pain burned into existence.

Eren tried to jerk away again, but he managed to hold back his cry. Another blow. Another spasm. Pain and fear mixed. They threatened to choke him, to shut him down. He couldn't fight. He couldn't flee. He couldn't do  _anything_. _But isn't that how it always is?_  The thought was horrifyingly clarity in his panic, pain-hazed mind.

All the while, the belt continued to beat again his back; rising and falling hard and fast. The pain only built. It built and built and built until the pain was everywhere,  _everything_. By the twelfth blow, tears started to silently pour down his face. By the fifteenth, a whimper escaped his mouth. When that left, all control disappeared.

Agonized whimpers betrayed him and mixed with sobs that quickly became hysterical. Sometime after the twentieth blow, Eren lose count. He couldn't think beyond the heel on his neck, the pain in his head and the agony that radiated from every nerve in his back. It was overwhelming.

The corners of Eren's vision started to fade to black. Everything felt vague, like he wasn't really connected to his body. He could faintly feel the belt strike him again and again, but the pain was surreal.  _Am I dying?_

Even the terror that should have accompanied that thought didn't come. Only darkness came, a black wave that was complete and total. Just before he slipped under, he could have sworn he heard his phone vibrate.

* * *

Levi spun his phone in his hand as he stared at the smooth, white ceiling. Eren had only been gone for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, but the house was already quiet again. Lonely again. It was similar to how Sioux Falls had been, although it didn't surprise him here as much as it had then. Foster parents usually didn't neglect or pay little attention to their adopted children. The estrangement from his father, he could understand. Sioux Falls, he still couldn't. Levi sighed and rolled onto his side.

His bed smelled faintly of melons: of Eren. _I wish he could have stayed longer… He makes things interesting. He looked nervous when he came out of the bathroom… Probably because his dad wouldn't like it if he knew where Eren had really spent the night._  A faint ring filled the house, the ring of the house phone.

Silver eyes rolled, but Levi dragged himself from his bed and tucked his phone into his pocket anyway. He took the stairs three at a time and swung around the bannister. The phone sat on a bookshelf in the living room. A pale hand snatched the phone as another obnoxious ring filled the air. "Hello?"

_"Hello son."_

_Great…_  "Hello father. What is it you need?" His voice was stiff, cold. It really couldn't warm when he talked to his father. There was too little connection, too small of a bond to take away the stiff conversations and snappy remarks, the latter of which tended to come from Levi.

_"I was calling to inform you that I will be returning home tomorrow. And… there is a package for you."_

Levi blinked in confusion. A package? Why would there be a package for him? None of his old foster parents knew where he was. The orphanages didn't give a damn. His grandmother on his mother's side was in a nursing home in Sina. His mother was dead. That only left his father, which was unusual to say the least. "What package?"

_"You'll see when I get home. I have to go. There's another meeting in ten minutes. Goodbye Levi… Have a good day."_

"Goodbye Father." The call ended. The stormy-eyed teen was left in silence. He stared at the phone for several long minutes. White fingers ran through pitch-black hair and disturbed the neat part.  _What. The. Fuck?_  That entire call was a mystery. No, it was an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a fucking  _conundrum_. And as synonyms of each other, that made it a pretty damn confusing conversation that Levi couldn't quite wrap his head around.

Calls from his father while he was on business trips were not rare: they tended to stay the same. "Is the house still intact? Has any mail for me arrived? I will be coming home tomorrow. The trip has to be extended for a few days." Things like that. The conversations tended to be like that. "Have a good day" definitely wasn't one of the usual comments. Neither was the tone that his father had used. It was… strange to say the least.

Levi rubbed his temples with one hand and punched Zoe's number in with the other. He pulled the phone away from his ear. She picked up on the first ring. Her excited babble took off as soon as the call connected.

_"OhmyGodLevihey! So, how did it go? What did you guys do? Obviously you did couple things. Watch movies? A romantic candlelight dinner? Lots of hand holding? Kissing? Did you get any further? Did you sleep together? Take that however you want. Oh God, Levi, I need every. Damn. Detail. Right. Fucking. Now. Teeeeeeeell me!"_

_Jesus Christ… maybe this was a mistake. I can hear her and the phone is two fucking feet from my ear._  "Slow the fuck down, shitty glasses." The rambling ceased. Levi sighed in relief and put the phone back to his ear. "One question at a time, idiot."

_"Fine. How did it go?"_

"Good. It went good. Great even." The raven-haired teen sat down in a soft, gray armchair. He shifted a bit until his legs dangled over one arm while his back was pressed against the other.

 _"Jesus… have you heard of something called_ giving details _? What did you two do?"_

 _And here begins the interrogation_. "We met up at the library. You're little blonde buddy probably told you about that."

_"Yep. Now go on. Get to the good stuff!"_

"… Moron. We went to an ice cream shop. He got some on his nose. It was so cute." Too late, he realized what had slipped out of his mouth. Silence greeted his words.

_"Who are you and what have you done with the Levi I know and love? Has he been replaced by aliens?"_

Silver eyes rolled. How typical of Zoe to think that aliens had taken his place. "No Zoe, I'm still me. We went to my place afterwards. He took a shower since his clothes were soaked."

_"… Did he wear your clothes?"_

"… Yes… why?" All he received in return was something that sounded suspiciously like muffled giggling.

 _"Go on, go on,"_  Zoe choked out. Yep, she was  _definitely_  laughing.

"I give up on you." Levi plucked at the fabric on his knee as he continued. "I kissed him."

_"Wonderful! Was there any tongue?"_

Silence greeted her words for several long moments before Levi responded. "Zoe… you're a stalker."

 _"Yes, yes I am. At least I'm not as bad as Petra. I swear, I went into her room the other day and looked around. She has a scrapbook of pictures under her bed. Want to guess what the subject of every single picture was?_  You. _So compared to her, I'm not bad. Not bad at all. Now, keep going."_

The pale teen shook his head, but kept talking. "We watched two movies and listened to some music. Jesus, I swear he lives under a rock. He didn't even know who Apocalyptica was." Zoe snorted but thankfully, she remained silent. "We talked for a bit. He fell asleep after a while. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and went to play the piano."

_"Cute… which composition did you play? Were you guys on the same bed?"_

"'Arabesque.' Yes, we were." Laughter greeted his words. Levi shook his head and raised his eyes to the ceiling.  _One of these days, I'll stitch her mouth shut._  It was an empty threat – it always was – but that didn't mean it wasn't sorely tempting sometimes. "Something was wrong when I came back into the room. I think he had a bad dream. God, Zoe, if you had seen it… He was thrashing all around, clawing at his neck…" The short teen trailed off and shook his head. He could still see it, still hear that scream.

_"Is he alright?"_

"I think so. He seemed fine when he woke up this morning." Levi ran his fingers through his hair and smiled slightly. At least Eren had seemed to have fun last night. The younger teen had relaxed completely. Eren had smiled so many times that Levi was amazed his heart hadn't just melted. The chestnut-haired teen's smiles were a thing of beauty.

_"That's good… I can also see I'm going to have to interrogate you more thoroughly tonight. By the way, I'm coming over for a few hours tonight."_

Levi groaned mockingly. "What a way to ask Zoe."

_"Well, you know I have a spare key, so I could just let myself in at any time if I wanted to. Besides, I've got all the majestic things needed for a great night."_

Gray eyes rolled around for a few minutes. "Whatever. Just let yourself in when you get here."

 _"That's what I was planning on darling,"_  she sang.  _"Alright, I have to go now. Petra is insisting that I remove Phil from her neck. Bye Levi!"_

"Bye Zoe." The call ended and the silence returned. Silence was a strange thing. It allowed reflection. It allowed thoughts to creep in, ones that he usually wouldn't think of, or at least he tried not to. Thoughts of Milwaukee, Sioux Falls, Quebec, Pittsburgh, Long Beach, and so many more places.

Mostly, it tended to be the ones that hadn't been so kind, so pretty. Those tended to creep up on him. Alone in a house so empty and quiet. Levi dropped the house phone and pulled his own phone out. It only took a moment to get to Eren's contact. He checked the time.  **11:15**. The pale teen opened up a new text and started to type.

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Hey**  
 **Sent: 11:15 AM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

He let his phone go black and rose from the chair. The phone was returned to its cradle as Levi made his way to the kitchen and poured another cup of coffee. Last night had not been one for good sleep.  _I worried so much about Eren that I barely slept._

The coffee was too cold for his tastes. It ended up in the microwave. One minute and six seconds later, Levi held a mug of piping hot – and moderately fresh – coffee in his hands. The short teen drank it black. "Just like your soul," as Zoe had said one time. Several times in fact. He leaned back against the counter and sipped delicately at his coffee. His phone remained silent. No vibrations. No messages.

Levi sipped at his coffee and went upstairs. Within minutes, music filled the house. The gentle notes of a piano that rose up and up before they suddenly dropped. It was not a song of joy.

* * *

**To Armin:**  
 **The library plan was a success! :D**  
 **Sent: 11:20 AM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin:**  
 **Hey Zoe. That's great! I'll get the full story from Eren later. He isn't responding right now.**  
 **Received: 1:35 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **Haha that's probably your best bet. Levi never tells me anything -_-**  
 **Sent: 1:38 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin:**  
 **He doesn't like to talk much does he?**  
 **Received: 1:39 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **Not really. In the two or so years that I've known him, he's opened gradually. I don't even think he's done TBH. To be honest, I've never seen him open up to someone so fast. It's a good thing to see.**  
 **Sent: 1:41 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin:**  
 **I thought so. I just got an impression like that when we saw you guys at the park.**  
 **Received: 1:42 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **Yup. He's a strange one ^^ anyways… What do you say about gently nudging (or shoving :D) them in the direction of a date?**  
 **Sent: 1:44 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin:**  
 **Zoe… That sounds excellent! What could they do though?**  
 **Received: 1:44 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **Well there are always the movies, but the first one must be special :3 there's the back to school festival. But that starts on the 10 th** **…  
Sent: 1:48 PM, July 29** **th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin:**  
 **That would be good. Too bad it's not closer. Well, I suppose we should just subtly hint at it and see what they do.**  
 **Received: 1:51 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

**To Armin:**  
 **Can we follow them?**  
 **Sent: 1:51 PM, July 29 th , 2013**

**From Armin:**  
 **Zoe… Do you have a tendency to stalk people?**  
 **Received: 1:53 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **Heh, funny thing you should say that~ Levi already called me a stalker today ^^ no I'm not. I just wanna see what they do! I could always get Petra to follow them… She's a little obvious though**  
 **Sent: 1:57 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin:**  
 **No Zoe. No stalking. That's what interrogation is for. Start the hints tomorrow?**  
 **Received: 2:00 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **Hell yeah! Ah, this is gonna be great 8D**  
 **Sent: 2:02 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Armin:**  
 **Haha yeah, it is ^^ you're having too much fun with this…**  
 **Received: 2:03 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **One can NEVER have too much fun with something like this!**  
 **Sent: 2:05 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Armin:**  
 **Hold on**  
 **Sent: 2:05 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

Zoe backed out of her messages and opened up the missed calls section. She had accidentally rejected a call when she had tried to delete some characters.  **Missed Calls (1): Levi Rivaille**.

The brown-eyed woman dialed him back. Her shorter, paler friend picked up on the first ring. "Hey Levi," she sang out. Phil seemed to perk up at the name, almost as if the snake recognized it. Zoe smirked and stroked the top of Phil's head. The yellow-and-gray snake ran her head along Zoe's arm before she tucked her head into the coils of her body once more.

_"Zoe, I need to ask you a favor. Actually, I need to ask Petra a favor."_

Zoe nearly dropped her phone in shock.  _Well… this is a first._  "Are you sure you're Levi? Do I need to come over there and get some MRIs, PET scans, and such in order to verify that you're human? The Levi I know wants nothing to do with Petra."

_"Oh just shut up and listen to me, shitty glasses."_

It was kind of pathetic yet funny that she could practically hear his scowl over the phone. His silver eyes were doubtlessly rolling. "There's the Levi I know and love. Alright, what is it you need?" Levi started to explain. Zoe's expression brightened and took on a thoughtful, cunning cast as she listened. "Alright, I'm on it. She won't need much convincing."

_"Thank you Zoe."_

"No problem Lev," she chirped. "Alright, I've gotta go. I kind of left a conversation hanging. I'll see you in a few hours. Bye!"

_"Bye."_


	12. Web

Pain. Agony. It ached. It burned. It stung. It stabbed. It wouldn't leave him alone. The pain in his head was a dull throb; bearable. The pain... no, the burning  _agony_  in his back was another story. His skin burned. Every twitch of his hands, his muscles, sent a fresh pang through his body and mind. Even the simple act of breathing hurt. Green orbs flickered open.

Focusing on anything was a slow, painful process. The room was bright: too bright for his pounding head. It didn't help that everything seemed to shift subtly. His eyes closed into slits. His face felt strange, covered in the remnants of his tears, which had long since dried. He opened his eyes a little wider and raised his head slightly. The slight movement hurt.

Eren barely held back a desperate moan. The floor and his temple greeted each other once more. Emerald eyes flickered around as he lay there, unable to move. Some things had been flung about: a few books, papers, a half-empty water bottle, and other miscellaneous things. Thankfully, his phone didn't seem to be among the items on the floor, nor were his sketchbooks.

A shudder traversed Eren's spin, accompanied by winces and flinches.  _If Dad looked through my phone… found my sketchbooks… I don't even want to think about what would have happened._  The light coming through the curtains seemed to be the same color it had been when he had returned home.  _Was I unconscious for a few hours? A day? I don't know…_  When his father had come in.  _How long was I out?_

Eren's hand fluttered on the floor. His fingers brushed against his pocket: empty.  _Oh right… on the desk._  The alarm clock wasn't visible from his angle, so he was without a way to check time. The minutes passed without much to differentiate them. Not even noise allowed for a clue of the time.  _Is Dad out at a bar? Unconscious? I don't know… Just don't come back up here…_  Eren took a deep breath.

Time passed. The pain began to recede. Numbness took its place in his head, his neck, and his back. Soon, Eren couldn't feel any pain, just numbness.  _Armin could probably tell me why... I wonder if I can move…_

While his limbs were stiff and not entirely cooperative, he was capable of movement. No agony clawed at him as he slowly pushed himself onto his knees and then back onto his toes. The numbness unnerved Eren, but it was welcome for the moment. Gradually, he rose to his feet. A hand shot out and grabbed the back of his chair for balance when the world started to spin for a few moments. It didn't last long.

Eren slowly shuffled towards his door. He kept one hand out, ready to catch himself if everything started to spin again. The walk to the bathroom was slow despite the distance. He didn't want to risk moving enough to bring the agony back to life. He just wanted to clean his face and check his back. Every movement was slow and careful. Eren shut the bathroom door and flipped the switch. He managed to get a good look of himself. It wasn't pretty.

Green eyes were dull with pain and misery. His hair was a mess while his face was ashen. The brunette ducked his head and turned on the cold water. He splashed the icy liquid on his face a few times before he started to scrub at the tear stains and grime clinging to his tanned skin.

The traces of tears and whatever else was on his face slowly came away. The scrubbing couldn't take away the humiliation, the pain or the misery though. Eren turned the water off as he rubbed his face dry with a towel. Then he twisted around.  _One look, that's all I need. Just to gauge how bad it was._

Stiff fingers gently tugged his shirt up until it was just above the shoulder blades. The chestnut-haired boy twisted slightly and stared. A mass of red skin greeted him. The flesh was a furious red that bordered on crimson and looked swollen. The flushed patch extended from just above the waistline of his jeans up to his shoulder blades, where it disappeared under his shirt.

Some of the skin, especially along the right side, had already started it's transition to purple. Eren wasn't one to easily bruise, but that was definitely a record for how quick one of them started to change colors. The scar on his back, long since healed, almost looked like it had years ago, after it had  _finally_  healed up.

Horror filled Eren.  _How many times did he hit me?_  He was glad his back was still numb, still vacant of the pain that was bound to hit him soon. The thought of what could have happened was terrifying. A shudder wracked his body. Breaths started to come in gasps. Salty drops burned at his eyes.  _I could have died last night._

Eren shut the light off and stumbled back into his room on legs that felt as if they might give out on him at any moment. Even in his panic, his steps were light and the doors were shut silently behind him. He pressed his back against his door. Cloth rasped against wood as he slowly slid down until his knees were pressed against his chest, his head buried between his knees. Fingers dug into the side of his head as he fought for calm.

 _Breathe. Just breathe. Nice and slow. Calm down. You're not dead. You're not going to die. You're going to live. Four more years. Four more years until I can leave. I just have to keep my head down. Keep my secrets. Be careful. Levi…_  Eren's shoulders shook with silent sobs. They carried on for a while. Quiet. Unobvious. Small. Hushed. Pathetic.  _Just like me._

Tears streamed until they could fall no more. They slowly dried and left trails that stiffened the skin and felt disgusting. Eren scrubbed at his face with one hand and slowly rose. Numbness still had a hold of his back. How much longer that would last, he wasn't sure. Lackluster green orbs slowly made their way across his room and to his desk.

His phone sat there, untouched and forgotten, as were the CDs. Eren breathed a sigh of relief.  _I don't know how I would have explained his CDs…_  He grabbed his phone and gingerly crept across his room so he could lie on his bed. The second he found a comfortable position on his stomach, his chin buried into a pillow and arms stretched out before him, Eren unlocked his phone. It was fifteen minutes until three. That explained the light that streamed through his curtains

Eren went to his messages, where one awaited him.  **New Text Message – Levi Rivaille**. Eren cringed, but opened up the text.

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Hey**  
 **Sent: 11:15 AM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 _Four hours… I was unconscious for over four hours. Jesus…_  Eren started to type a message.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Sorry, my phone died on the way home. What's up?**  
 **Sent: 3:47 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

Another lie, another thread in the web of deception he'd been weaving for years. Ever since his mother had died. Ever since his father had developed a vendetta against him. That was understandable. It was his fault. All his fault. Eren knew it. His dad knew it. Everything was his fault. Her death. His father's alcoholism. The beatings.  _My fault. My fault my fault my fault._

Eren shivered. That turned out to be a mistake. Pain shot through his raw nerves and raced diagonally, from his right hip up towards his left shoulder blade.

_That numbness was too good to last… That's how things like to be for me. I'm amazed some things have lasted. Armin… Mikasa… Levi. If I was being honest with myself, I would just cut ties with him. Just to stay safe. I don't want to. Levi makes this more tolerable. He makes tomorrow look exciting, even with Dad there to darken it. I know I should. I know that's the best choice. I don't think I can. I'm in too deep. I shouldn't have let it get this far._

Emerald eyes smarted with tears. Eren blinked them away and stared vacantly at his phone. It buzzed after a few minutes had passed. The pain and the fear dulled the normal excitement that accompanied Levi's texts.

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **No worries. I was wondering if your phone was ever going to die. It seems like it never will sometimes. Not much. I'm just reading. What about you?**  
 **Sent: 3:52 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

_What's up? Oh, not much. Just lying as still as possible to avoid the agony in my back. Cowering in my room, afraid of what my father will do next. Wondering whether or not I should separate myself from you again, no matter how much that thought hurts. It's not for lack of like. It's because of terror._

That wasn't what Eren typed. Instead, he slapped down another lie. Just another thread to the web of deceptions, of deceit.  _If reincarnation is real, either I was a spider in the past life or I'm going to make one hell of one in the next._

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Okay~ yea, it dies. Takes a while though, especially since I carry around a couple extra batteries in case of emergencies. Whatcha reading? Nothing really. I'm just reading a game of thrones**  
 **Sent: 3:55 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 _How many lies can I possibly tell?_  Every lie was like a splinter to his heart. No, with Levi, it was more like a knife. Heavy, sharp, and so damn painful as it slowly sunk in a left its' raw, freely bleeding lines of sorrow and self hate. Like the knife that had met his back years ago. Eren shuddered again, which only brought more pain. It was more potent than it had been mere moments before. He muffled his whimper of pain with the pillow. The phone vibrated like mad in his hand.

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Good idea especially since most people don't know ASL. It's a six part series with three volumes, two books per. 'Theft of Swords' by Michael J. Sullivan. Zoe recommended it for me. Oh really. Where are you at?**  
 **Received: 3:59 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Which they aren't most of the time -_- cool. I'll have to look em up. At the part where Bran finally managed to fly.**  
 **Sent: 4:02 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **That would be too easy. I'll lend it to you as soon as I'm done. I think you'll like it. Ah I remember that. It was quite interesting when I found the meaning behind that.**  
 **Received: 4:04 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Always. Okay thanks. I won't ask. No spoilers for me~**  
 **Sent: 4:07 PM, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **No problem. Spoilers fucking suck**  
 **Received: 4:08 Pm, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Too true too true. Wanna ask our other ten questions?**  
 **Sent: 4:09 Pm, July 29 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Unfortunately. Sure. You can start with yours**  
 **Received: 4:10 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **What's your favorite animal**  
 **Sent: 4:10 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Back to the favorites I see. … As long as its easy to clean up after and keeps tidy I really don't care. Preference wise… Perhaps cats. Persians. Gray ones.**  
 **Received: 4:13 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

It was easy to fake like all he felt was happiness, like there was no pain or fear. Then again, he had gotten a lot of practice over the years. Eren smiled and, even though his shoulders and back burned with the movement, he laughed softly. Levi really did seem like someone who would own a cat sometimes. They matched his elegant nature, his predator-like grace, and tendency to be a little more finicky than what might have been considered the norm. After all, Levi's room had looked immaculate and his appearance was always so clean, smooth, and composed. Fingers tapped away at the keyboard.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Nah just one. Haha I can totally see you with a cat. What do you want to major in?**  
 **Sent: 4:14 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Yes but the fucking shedding… I'd have to fucking vacuum twice a damn day just to combat all that fur. A double in photography and psych probably**  
 **Received: 4:17 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **You do know that there are ones that don't shed right? Haha just cause you're such a neat freak~ awesome. What career do you want?**  
 **Sent: 4:18 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Fuck… Did not know that. Better clean than filthy. Something involving photography and music. Might work as a psychologist if I feel the need or want to do so**  
 **Received: 4:22 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

The young teen shook his head slightly while a soft smile tugged at his lips.  _Adorable… he's so freaking adorable. God… I'm so glad I met him. I don't know what I'd do without him anymore. I can't leave him. I can't separate myself. No point in even trying. It won't work. I can't stay away._  Eren worried his bottom lip for a moment as he pondered over his next question.  _Should I broach that…? It's sensitive… but I want to know more. I want to know all about him. Everything._  It was easy to make his mind up after that.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Haha nice~ no surprise there ^^ what was your mom like?**  
 **Sent: 4:25 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **My mother was a beautiful woman both inside and out. She was the kind of person you couldn't help but love. Her personality just drew people in. She was a hard worker and she wanted me to be one too.**  
 **Received: 4:33 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

The reply had taken a while despite Levi's tendency to shoot texts back rapidly.  _But he told me. That's what counts. It doesn't matter how long he took._  That eased the feeling of nervousness that had built up throughout the wait.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **She sounds like a wonderful person. I wish I could have met her… Do you like your dad?**  
 **Sent: 4:34 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **I wish you could have. She would have loved you like you were her son. My father and I do not have the best of relations. He's an ass but he's tolerable… Most of the time.**  
 **Received: 4:39 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

Well, that answer was close enough to be considered an answer to his question.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **That would have been nice. That sucks T.T Why have you only been here two years?**  
 **Sent: 4:42 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Definitely. That's when my father realized he actually had a son and took custody of me. It's a long story. I'll tell you some other time.**  
 **Received: 4:44 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Okay. I'll remember to ask. Then why didn't you go to school last year?**  
 **Sent: 4:45 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **You better. I didn't want to get into the shitty hellhole otherwise known as the public school system. Zoe convinced me and then you sealed the deal.**  
 **Received: 4:48 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

Blood rushed straight to Eren's face as he quickly buried his head into his pillow despite being completely alone at the moment. A grin split across his face despite the sharp pain that shot through his back.  _He says such things so easily… I bet he has a poker face right now. God, he's fucking perfect._  Eren tentatively rolled his shoulders before he typed out the next message. That elicited a hiss of pain.  _Great… just fucking great._

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Perfect description of school sometimes. I'm glad we could! ^^ wait… You said your mom died when you were young. Who took care of you before your dad?**  
 **Sent: 4:50 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **It fits pretty much every damn school I've been to and that's a lot of fucking schools. Me too. … I'm going to assume you're talking about just before my father. I was in an orphanage in Norfolk, Virginia.**  
 **Received: 4:54 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **No surprise about that. There were more beforehand? Levi how many homes have you been in?**  
 **Sent: 4:55 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **… Do you want me to count orphanages and temporary homes?**  
 **Received: 5:00 PM, July 19** **th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **… Sure**  
 **Sent: 5:00 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **22\. 23 if you count my father**  
 **Received: 5:01 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

Green eyes sharpened as he stared at the screen of his phone.  _Twenty-three… twenty-three?! Levi… poor Levi… That must have been awful. No wonder he's so closed off… He won't let anyone in. But I'm in… Against the odds, I'm in._

Eren's hands clenched. Fresh tears welled up. He couldn't raise a hand to wipe them away before they fell, not that he could have anyways. The pain was too much. Between the agony in his back and the new pain in his heart, it was almost unbearable.  _Levi... He's so strong. He's had to be. If anyone deserves the sympathy, it's him. Not me. I'm just a pathetic kid. He's an amazing person._  His hands trembled as he typed out the last question.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Oh God… Levi… That's awful… Why so many?**  
 **Sent: 5:05 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Deaths, lack of funds, one disappearance, temporary adoptions, orphanages, and CPS.**  
 **Received: 5:07 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

The response was swift, blunt. Pre mediated. Eren felt his heart break a little more for Levi. It was easier to feel sorry for the other teen, so much easier. Levi didn't deserve that. Eren deserved what he got. Every insult, every hit, every second, he deserved it all. He believed it. Every. Single. Word.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **… I'm sorry T.T that sucks… It's your turn**  
 **Sent: 5:10 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Don't be. It's over now. Alright… How did you become friends with Armin?**  
 **Received: 5:11 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **We met in preschool, me him and Mikasa. I think it was because some kid was picking on Armin, so I punched him.**  
 **Sent: 5:14 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

There had been a lot of blood too. Eren had been suspended for a day, but his mother hadn't been too hard on him. To her, protecting his new friend was more important than a measly day of suspension. That didn't stop her from almost pulling his ear off though.

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **I don't think I've heard of Mikasa yet. Who is she? Well damn, I didn't peg you as one to be violent**  
 **Received: 5:16 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **She's Armin's adopted sister. She was a doorstep drop. Armin's grandfather gave her his wife's maiden last name and his sister's name. I cooled down a lot.**  
 **Sent: 5:19 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Mm… Least she's in a good home now. You sure about that? That's not the question. What languages do you want to learn?**  
 **Received: 5:21 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Yep~ um kind of. German although I really don't have to. They count ASL as our language credit.**  
 **Sent: 5:53 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Hm I can see you speaking German. You'd make a sexy German. The HS requires fucking language credits? They'd better fucking count my French… Why were you at the park that night?**  
 **Received: 5:55 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

The jade-eyed teen buried his head into his pillow. A cringe mixed with the smile and the blush that adorned his face.  _He is so damn casual about things like that. It's not even funny!_ He still found it cute and ever so endearing.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Oh my God Levi… Yep they have em. I think they'll count it. Because I wanted the fresh air and felt like a walk.**  
 **Sent: 5:58 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Blushing yet? If so, good. Good. They'd fucking better. Understandable answer. Do you get into fights a lot?**  
 **Received: 6:01 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **… No… Maybe… You just have to take a test. Not really. Fights are rare for me nowadays.**  
 **Sent: 6:04 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Excellent. But save your blushes for when I can see them. Good. Must've been one hell of a fight then. Are both of your parents around?**  
 **Received: 6:07 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Can't really control them . yeah it was. No. My mom died when I was young**  
 **Sent: 6:10 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Then I guess I just won't leave your side, idiot. Ah… I'm sorry about that. Do you mind telling me how?**  
 **Received: 6:10 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 _He did it again. He's doing it on purpose. He's trying to make me blush, that evil little bastard_. Eren tentatively stretched his arm out. Numbness had replaced the pain once more. He scrubbed his face furiously in a weak attempt to mask the blush, even though there was no one to see it. With cheeks that burned brilliant crimson and green eyes that were livelier, more energetic, Eren almost looked like normal. It helped that the house had been absolutely silent since he had regained consciousness.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **… I think your goal is to make all the blood go to my head. Don't worry. It wasn't something you could have stopped. Car wreck. Some guy drove right into the driver's side. She died on impact at least.**  
 **Sent: 6:14 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Damn you guessed my plan. I know… At least it was quick… Do you like your dad?**  
 **Received: 6:15 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **And on so few clues too~ Yeah… Yeah. I like my dad. He's nice usually.**  
 **Sent: 6:16 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **That's good. Alright, last three:**  
 **Does he know you're gay**  
 **how does he treat you**  
 **and what was your accident?**  
 **Received: 6: 19 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

Eren froze for several long moments. He stared at the screen. Harsh teeth dug into his lip. _I don't want to answer. I want to. Should I tell the truth? No. Not the truth. Never the truth. A lie. I don't want to keep lying... I've got to. Levi..._  His hands clenched around the phone. Thoughts spun through his mind. He couldn't think of the lie that he had given Mikasa and Armin. He couldn't think. He didn't know what to do. The phone buzzed in his hand and jolted him from his thoughts.

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **… Eren?**  
 **Received: 6:25 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

The chestnut-haired teen took a shaky breath and began to type.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Yep.**  
 **Definite no**  
 **good**  
 **… I wasn't born mute. I was hit in the throat soon after my mother's death. The physical trauma is what made it worse. At least before I could get most of a sentence out. How'd you know about it?**  
 **Sent: 6:26 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

A white lie told through the teeth, or in this case, the keyboard.

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **No surprise. Good, that's good. Armin told me about it. That must have been fucking awful.**  
 **Received: 6:28 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

Eren chewed on the edge of his lip again. It didn't surprise him that Armin had said something. The blonde had probably assumed that he had already mentioned it. But that wasn't the case. No, that had been one of the many lies he had woven for Levi. The young teen didn't want to imagine how it would be if the web ever had to be unraveled.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Mhm. Ah that explains things. Yeah it was. I'm used to it now.**  
 **Received: 6:29 PM, July 19 th** **, 2013**

From there, their conversation devolved into talking about anything and anything that hit their minds. All was quiet. The peace went undisturbed. Despite the fact that Eren was still within his house, he managed to relax. Not much, but just a bit. Enough to take away the frightening edge that lurked in the house. Levi blunted that razor-sharp edge. Eren smiled and continued to text.

* * *

Jean stared blankly at his summer reading assignment. He hadn't even bothered to start the paper. Hell, he hadn't even opened the book. Not only did  _Things Fall Apart_  sound dull, but also he really didn't feel motivated. The summer had been so fucked up, it wasn't even funny. Things just continued to pile up, one after another.

He could hear his mother as she ranted in the other room. Her voice was loud, sharp. She was in one of her moods again. "Gretel, I'm telling you, it's  _awful_! That law they're trying to pass absolutely disgusts me. Bunch of queer lovers, I'll tell you that. They're polluting our schools, our city! God, and then that rally those freaks are having. Ugh, absolutely  _disgusting_."

Jean pressed his hands against his head.  _Why can't she just shut up?_  She wanted him to hear. There was no doubt about that. She wanted him to be as she was. Hazel eyes clamped shut as he tried to block her out. It wasn't easy. Her voice was loud, shrill, and penetrating.  _Can't she just shut up already?_  At least she had shut up about the other day, when that short, black-haired guy had beaten him up.

_I should apologize to Eren and that guy about that… And to Armin when I'm not drunk off my ass. Tell them about how Mom kicked me out for a few hours. Told me to go beat on some queers. How I had fucking been outside for five damn hours by that point and I was ready to go home. How I regret that so fucking much. God… Armin's face_

The shock, the fear, and the anger in their faces. The anger had come from that stubby guy, but the shock and fear was on both Armin and Eren's faces. Jean wanted to beat his head at the thought of the incident. It was one of those times that were impossible to think about without feeling sick and disgusted.

The ashen-haired teen sighed and leaned back in the chair. His mother continued to nag in the kitchen as she fussed over the local homosexual community and how their church should pray for their sins. Those conversations made Jean feel sick. Wasn't the whole point of their religion to love everyone?  _I can't wait until I can move out. Then I don't have to hear this… this_ poison. _Then I can do what I want._

"Jean!" His mother's shrill voice pierced his thoughts.

Hazel eyes cracked open as he raised his head. "Yes, mother?"

"Start your project already. You're not doing it at the last minute this year!"

"Yes, mother," he muttered glumly. He grabbed the book and opened it up. The book was the last thing on his mind. The park. Armin's face. The call. Armin's voice. Being so drunk, he almost spilled everything. Jean sighed and flipped the page.  _It's going to be a long three years._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is officially caught up to the one on fanfiction.net. I'll have an update in a week or so.


	13. Melody

**From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Hey Armin I have a brilliant idea.**  
 **Received: 9:13 AM, July 30, 2013**

**To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Oh really? What idea is this?**  
 **Sent: 9:14 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **We need to get Eren and Levi on a date ASAP.**  
 **Received: 9:15 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Haha I must agree with you there. What could they do?**  
 **Sent: 9:17 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **I don't know. Go see a movie, picnic in the park, swim in the lake. Something relationship-y.**  
 **Received: 9:19 AM, July 30** **th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Hm… You've heard that the Shiganshina City Orchestra is in town until the 5 th** **, right?  
Sent: 9:20 AM, July 30** **th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Of course I have! They're freaking amazing~ why?**  
 **Received: 9:20 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **OH MY GOD THEY COULD GO TOGETHER AS A DATE!**  
 **Received: 9:20 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Haha exactly. My family already has four tickets: one for my grandfather, Mikasa, Eren, and myself. I'm sure that Gramps will be fine if Levi comes along.**  
 **Sent: 9:23 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Excellent :D should I drop some hints or you? Or perhaps both of us...**  
 **Received: 9:24 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Both of us should. I'll text Eren in a bit and see if he wants to.**  
 **Sent: 9:25 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Okay~ Levi certainly won't complain about it. Oh shit I have to go. Levi just came over.**  
 **Received: 9:27 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Okay. Dare I ask why he's over there?**  
 **Sent: 9:27 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Petra's teaching him something. It's a secret ;) nothing bad, I promise. See ya Armin!**  
 **Received: 9:28 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Zoe Hanji:**  
 **Okay I'll take your word on that. Goodbye Zoe.**  
 **Sent: 9:29 AM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

* * *

"Alright Levi, I think you should run through it one more time. You almost have it. If you can do a few clean run-throughs, you can pick up the pace." The raven-haired teen nodded. Stormy eyes narrowed in concentration as he started to move his hands.

It wasn't as hard as French, although he barely remembered learning that, but sign language was still complex. The change between letters, like 'A' and 'S' for example, was only the position of his thumb. Luckily, most of them were easy enough to differentiate, although it was a little awkward to sign some of them.

Thankfully, Petra was a patient teacher. Unfortunately, that just made him twitchy. It wasn't that he hated Petra – she was quite interesting and very nice in fact – but her stalking tendencies were creepy. Levi was almost positive the photo album she had shoved under her bed when he had walked in was filled front to back with photos of him. The same one Zoe had told him about the day before.

Levi faltered slightly in his rendition of the alphabet at the thought of that, but picked it back up within seconds. He traced a 'Z' out into the air and sighed.  _I think I got them all this time._

"That was good Levi. You only had a little bit of hesitance. Remind me to give you a chart before you go home, so you can study. I've got one lying around with the alphabet, the letters, and a couple of short phrases on the back."

Levi nodded and stretched his arms and fingers out. Several of the pale appendages cracked audibly, but it felt good.

"Hey Levi, at this rate you'll know as many languages as Petra!" Zoe chimed in from where she lay on Petra's yellow-and-white swathed bed. A lump of fluffy gray fur – Sophia – lay at her side, her feathery tail flicking around occasionally.

Petra laughed a little, a soft sound that filled the silence. "If Levi wants to learn thirteen more languages, then he'll be able to catch up."

"Ah, but he knows French, so now he only has twelve! Hey Levi, how do you feel about learning German, Latin, Spanish, Russian, Portuguese, Japan-"

"I don't care, stupid glasses."

A boisterous laugh was his response from Zoe, while Petra's ever-present smile spread a little more. "I'm sure I could teach you… If you wanted me to, that is." With that, the smile turned shy.

Levi shook his head and leaned back against the white wall. "Thanks, but no. I don't want to learn any more languages than I have to… or want to." The ginger-haired girl across from him shrugged at the response she had doubtlessly been expecting. She – hopefully – knew that Levi saw her as a friend and nothing more.

"That reminds me," Zoe mused.  _Oh great… here comes the flood of words. I wonder how hard I would have to hit my head right now so I could pass out and not have to listen…_  Brown eyes flickered over to him as Zoe pushed her glasses further up her nose. Her gaze was intense. "Why  _are_  you learning ASL? Is it so that you can talk with Eren without him having to rely on his phone?"

Slate eyes glared at the outlandish woman before Levi turned his head away from her. It couldn't hide the light dusting of pink that had spread across his face. "Shut up," he muttered, perturbed. _She really knows me too well. It's like I'm a fucking sheet of glass sometimes._  The pale teen sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead. "And if I am?"

"That's so cute! Isn't that right, Petra?" Zoe cooed.

"It's adorable," Petra giggled. It was both a truthful and a jealous statement from her.

Levi heaved another long, heavy sigh. Pale fingers skimmed through inky locks as he glanced back up at the two women. "Shitty glasses…" he muttered.

Zoe sat up completely and hauled Sophia into her lap. The feline let out a soft meow of protest, but she curled up in Zoe's lap all the same. "But it's so sweet!" she insisted. "But do you know what's sweeter?"

Those wild brown eyes widened with excitement.  _Oh God…_  Levi didn't even bother to humor her with an answer. Zoe charged on. If it weren't for the cat in her lap, she probably would have started waving her hands around and bouncing on Petra's bed. " _A date_!" she sang.

The blood in Levi's body couldn't decide whether to flood his face or vacate that region, so his face settled for a slightly darker pink and a sever poker face. "Zoe Hanji…" he gritted, teeth bared, " _Shut. Up._ "

The brunette fiend grinned and wriggled her fingers at him. Her face smoothed out and she glanced at Petra. "I almost forgot to mention it, but I managed to get two tickets to the Shiganshina City Orchestra! I already cleared it with Mom and Dad. We're going tomorrow."

Petra's head snapped around, ginger-and-blonde hair flying, amber eyes wide with excitement. "Really?! Oh my gosh! Zoe, thank you!"

Levi stared at Zoe for a moment, silver eyes narrowed with thought. Their conversation trailed off after a few minutes and Zoe's eyes flickered back to Levi.

"What is it?"

"There's an orchestra here?" He received a grin in response.

"Of course there is! I forgot you weren't here the last time they came to play. They were here about three years ago. They're absolutely  _phenomenal_. They're rated among the top ten orchestras in the entire world! Ah, I can't wait! Their music is divine."

Levi nodded slowly, his gaze thoughtful and distracted. After a few minutes, his gaze refocused and intensified. His father wouldn't be home until around eight. He had time. "Petra. Can you start teaching me some simple phrases after another run-through or two?"

The amber-eyed girl nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I can!"

Over on the bed, Zoe smirked triumphantly and ran her lightly tanned fingers through silky gray fur as Levi threw himself into Petra's American Sign Language lessons.

* * *

Armin spun his phone in his hand as he stared up at his ceiling, sky blue eyes as blank as the smooth, white plaster above him. The plastic and glass had warmed beneath his fingers, but it remained silent and dark.  _I should text Eren eventually and drop some hints about inviting Levi. Gramps wouldn't mind. Besides, Mikasa is determined to meet Levi, come Hell or high waters._

The blonde teenager let out a soft sigh and started to spin his phone the other way. He knew he should text Eren soon, but it was only noon. There was time. Besides, another matter entirely dominated his mind: Jean. His strange behavior from the other day, the call, the fact that he had actually been drunk, and then how he had acted during the call outright confused Armin.

Confusion wasn't something he was used to unless it came to people, and even then, it was rare. Jean, however, had managed to confuse the hell out of him. It brought dozens of questions to mind, none of which he could give an answer that seemed to fit.  _Why was he drunk? Why did he have to be? Why did he want me to talk? Why did he start crying? Why did he hang up without telling me anything? Why, why, why?_

Fingers ran through long, blonde strands as he started to spin his phone in the other direction.  _I should text him. Or I could call him. Maybe he'll give me an answer. I don't know. The other day just made everything… strange._  The fact that Jean seemed to be a homophobe was startling.

If the ashen-haired teen had been beforehand, Armin had never seen it. Not even when Jean had constantly teased Eren in elementary, when Eren could talk, when his personality was fiery and aggressive as opposed to his almost passive personality of the present. He hadn't seen any indication of Jean being a homophobe when they had worked on a project in science in the eighth grade. There had been no hint of it at the end of the year or in the beginning of summer. The only thing that had changed was that Jean had suddenly become reclusive. His chest felt heavy with sorrow.

Armin chewed on his bottom lip.  _What should I do? What did Eren do when he wanted to see Levi? He texted him, that's what he did._  Armin made up his mind within a second. He shot a quick text to Jean.

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
Hello.  
Sent: 12:31 PM, July 30 **th** **, 2013**

Armin dropped his phone onto his stomach and sighed.  _Did I make a mistake? Perhaps I should just let this stupid crush go… Easier said than done, dammit._  The blonde boy rolled onto his side, grabbed one of his pillows, and crushed it to his chest as he pulled his knees up.

 _I wonder what Gramps would say if I told him about Jean… Or what Mikasa would say. Dear God, never mind._ That _would be a mistake. I mean, no offense to Mikasa, but last time I told her I liked someone, she nearly started World War III in an attempt to find out whether or not Annie was going to break my heart or something. Okay, perhaps that's an exaggeration, but still…_  "

Dammit…" he whispered, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Why can't things be simple?" His phone vibrated against his side in response, incessant and attention demanding. Armin snatched it from his size and stared at the screen.  **New Text Message – Jean Kirstein**. A grin splashed across his face and Armin opened it, giddy with excitement.

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Hi. What's up?**  
 **Received: 12:36 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Not much really. I'm just reading a bit. What about you?**  
 **Sent: 12:36 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Ha no surprise there. What are ya reading? I'm just watching some boring movie with my mother**  
 **Received: 12:37 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **'The Descent of Man' by Charles Darwin. What movie?**  
 **Sent: 12:38 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Isn't he that theory of evolution dude? Fuck I don't even know the title. Something with shitty effects and lots of murder**  
 **Received: 12:40 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Yep. I'm surprised you remember that, although we did learn about him just last year. Mm, that sucks. I'm guessing you can't change the channel?**  
 **Sent: 12:41 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Eh I only remember because you drilled everything into my head for every test and the finals. Nope. I've already asked like ten times**  
 **Received: 12:42 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

Armin stared at Jean's text for a moment. Each text made his chest feel a little lighter. _Should I ask him? He seems fine right now…_

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Haha anything for a friend! Oh, that sucks . why don't you just leave the room?**  
 **Sent: 12:44 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Mm I'm glad you did help otherwise I woulda bombed that class. Because 'family bonding time'**  
 **Received: 12:45 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **I'm certainly not going to let that happen on my watch! Ah, that sucks. Hey Jean, can I ask you a question?**  
 **Sent: 12:47 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Great because I might need some help with bio too. Yea it does. Sure whatever**  
 **Received: 12:49 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

Armin's fingers twitched nervously and he hesitated. A breath caught in his throat.  _Should I?_  That was the big question. The one he couldn't answer unless he asked. Armin took a breath and started to type.

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **I'll be glad to help ^^ do you want to hang out tomorrow?**  
 **Sent: 12: 52 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Thanks. Sure. When and where?**  
 **Received: 12:56 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **No problem~ Christian's Café at 3?**  
 **Sent: 12:56 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Sure. GTG moms demanding I put the phone down. See ya then**  
 **Received: 12:57 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Okay. See you~**  
 **Sent: 12:58 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

Armin set his phone down and smiled softly.  _Well, at least Jean didn't deny me. Tomorrow I'll find out. Tomorrow…_  He rolled over and picked up the book he had been reading earlier: "I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream," by Harlan Ellison. Eren had given it to him for Christmas the year prior.

* * *

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Hey Eren, are you ready for the orchestra? :D**  
 **Received: 3:13 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Of course I am!**  
 **Sent: 3:14 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Is Levi going to the orchestra?**  
 **Received: 3:15 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Um… I don't think so…**  
 **Sent: 3:16 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Mm that sucks. It seems like something he'd be into ^^ plus, he's missing out on some fantastic music~**  
 **Received: 3:18 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **It is good… It'd be nice if he could come along…..**  
 **Sent: 3:19 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Mhm~ It's really too bad, especially since the tickets are cheap.**  
 **Received: 3:21 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Do you think he'd agree to come with me? I'm sure he'd love to go see it, but…..**  
 **Sent: 3:26 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Definitely~ Stop worrying :-P He'd love to go on a date with you!**  
 **Received: 3:27 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Armin! …..would it be alright with Gramps and Mikasa?  
** **Sent: 3:27 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **What? Make you blush XD~ Of course! Gramps would love to meet him and you know Mikasa is dying to see the guy she might need to kill :D**  
 **Received: 3:28 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **NO!... Maybe -.- Oh god . She'd better not break my first boyfriend**  
 **Sent: 3:28 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Haha, good :-) Awww, but that's no fun! Ha, don't worry about it, Levi can hold his own**  
 **Received: 3:29 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Mean -.- No that's lots of fun, just not for you :-P Yeah, but so can Mikasa… well the orchestra shall be interesting at least!**  
 **Sent: 3:31 PM, July 30th, 201**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Na~uh, I'm the nicest person ever ^^ ask anyone! Haha, so true! Now I REALLY can't wait for the orchestra  
** **Received: 3:32 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Ask anyone that actually knows you, ya mean :-P *shakes head* I'm either going to really love this decision or regret it fully -.-  
** **Sent: 3:33 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**From Armin Arlert:**  
 **Nooooo, that'd be cheating XD It'll be fine, stop worrying!  
** **Received: 3:33 PM, July 30th, 2013**

**To Armin Arlert:**  
 **Hahaha :D Fine  
** **Sent: 3:33 PM, July 30th, 2013**

* * *

Soft knocks roused Levi from his book. He glanced up and looked at his clock –  **8:23**  – and then at the door.  _Father is home._  Dimly, Levi could remember hearing the door open and his father call up, but it hadn't actually registered in his mind. He had been too immersed in reading  _The Book Thief._ The short teen slowly rose, swung out of bed, and opened the door.

His father stood in the hallway, like a taller, better-dressed, blue-eyed version of himself. Despite the suit and slicked-back hair that generally gave him a cool and refined look, his father looked nervous, apprehensive even. His icy blue eyes darted around for several moments, anywhere but Levi, before they finally settled on his son. "Hello Levi," his father offered. He shifted slightly. The fabric of his suit rasped against something that sounded similar to cardboard.

Silver eyes flickered down and spotted the small, cardboard box wedged between his father's elbow and hip. Levi's gaze settled back onto his father's face while he wore an impassive mask. "Hello Father."

They stood there awkwardly for several minutes. Neither knew what to say or do. It was times like then when their estrangement with each other was painfully obvious. His father cleared his throat quietly. "So… how were things while I was gone?"

Levi jerked a shoulder up in a shrug and shifted a little. "It was good."

A nod greeted his words, along with a slight, uncomfortable pause. "What did you do?"

 _I can't tell if he's just humoring the natural parent-child relationship shit or if he's actually trying to make amends or something._  Levi decided to go along with it, just for the sake of being civilized. Plus, on the off chance that his father really  _was_  attempting to fix their estrangement, perhaps he could try too.

"I met up with Zoe. And a new…" Levi hesitated, unsure of what he should say. He hadn't mentioned Eren to his father. He hadn't mentioned that he had a new friend, or that said new friend was also his boyfriend.  _Fuck… well, he'll find out eventually._  "And my boyfriend." Levi delivered it with a nonchalant air, although putting the words 'boyfriend' and 'Eren' together, even in his thoughts, made him want to smile.

Light blue eyes widened slightly, but it was not with disgust. It was more with surprise. "That's good… I'm glad you've met someone you like."

The raven-haired teen nodded. He picked at the skin on his thumb, unsure of what to do. The polite thing would be to return his father's questions with some inquiries of his own. "So… how was work?"

A grimace flashed across his father's face. "The meetings were hellish, but we worked everything out. Also…" He shifted the package beneath his arm and held it out towards Levi. It went from one pair of pale hands to another. "This is for you." Gray eyes peered at his father, but Levi only received a shrug. "It's for you to find out. Well… I'll be downstairs."

"Alright, Father." Levi waited until he heard steps on the stairs before he shut his door and inspected the package. It was simple and small, about half the length of a shoebox and about the same depth and width as one. It wasn't heavy, not really. Clear tape bound the flaps together. The short teen took it over to his bed and sat with it in front of him.

For several minutes, Levi simply stared at it as if it was a bomb of some sort, ready to explode at any moment.  _I suppose I should open it…_ With a sigh, he hooked a fingernail beneath the tape and slowly started to wedge it upwards. It was a slow process, made slower by a lack of scissors, along with Levi's hesitance to open it.

As Levi gradually pulled it up, one thought continued to echo in his mind:  _Is he trying to win my favor?_  Eventually, the tape peeled away and nothing stood between Levi and the contents of the package. No more reasons to delay. Levi pulled the flaps back and peered inside.

A yellow blanket sat inside, messily arranged and rumpled. Some of the ridges were too solid to be natural. It had been used to wrap something. Levi pulled the soft fabric back and stared at the contents in the box. A VCR tape and a cassette tape nested inside the confines of the blanket. They looked like they hadn't been touched much. Only a few scratches dotted their surfaces, while the tape was wound up nice and tight.

Levi pushed his glasses up and inspected them. The cassette tape was labeled "Recording '95".  _That was before I was born… I wonder what it's of._  He flipped the VCR tape around until he found its label, which declared "Oct. 9, '96". Both labels were written with black ink in a delicate hand.  _Mom's writing… These are Mom's tapes. I'll get the player in a few minutes._

With the utmost care, he set the two tapes beside him and glanced back into the box. Several things remained. On top, there were two immediately noticeable objects.

Two piano keys, one white and one black, lay on top of several papers that had been folded over. When Levi touched the keys, they were cool and smooth beneath his fingers. Well-worn – he could clearly see where someone's fingers had frequented over the years – but well loved. If his guess was right, they were keys from his mother's piano. The same piano that he had crawled onto the bench of to play simple tunes beside his mother. The piano with which his mother had played lullabies to carry him to sleep.

Levi held the keys close for a minute before he set them down next to the tapes. He picked up the pages and unfolded them. They had been folded for a long time, but they stayed open with some help. A musical score littered the pages, one for piano. "Nocturne in E-flat Major, Opus 9 No. 2" by Frédéric Chopin jumped out at his eyes.  _Mom loved this piece… She'd play it as often as she could. I'd almost forgotten._

The thought that he had started to forget sent a pang of sadness and guilt straight to his heart. The memories from when he was young had started to fade. Most of them were murky with time. He could barely picture his mother's face with any clarity. The soft smile Levi had worn moments ago fell away. Pale fingers curled up, but he was careful with the pages.  _All of these things are Mom's… How did he get them?_

The black-haired teen glanced back into the box. A stack of black-and-white photographs dwelled within the yellow nest. Black-and-white had been his mother's favorite way to photograph.

_"Colors distract. I like black-and-white because it allows you to see the stark beauty of everything and find a second meaning to it."_

_At least I can remember that_.

The photograph on top was a one of his mother with a massive smile on her expressive face. She sat at her piano, fingers barely touching the keys. She looked so alive, so happy. It made Levi's heart ache with grief, but a smile crept onto his face with it. He flipped through the pictures, careful with each and every one.

Some were photographs of his mother. Others were of his father, back when he was younger and didn't look so tired. Many of them were of Levi: as a baby, as a toddler, learning to walk, sitting at the piano. If the pictures were anything to go by, he had smiled and laughed a lot when he was younger.

_Where did that child go? He disappeared when his mother died. He disappeared after Milwaukee, when he was beaten and screamed at. He disappeared when he was dragged from home to home since no place seemed to want him._

Levi reached the last picture in the stack and froze. It was the only one in color. His parents stood in the center of the picture, caught in each other's arms and frozen mid-step in a dance.

His mother had worn a sun-yellow dress with a small, black coat over it that went down to her waist and cut off at her elbows. She had worn elegant black sandals with a slight heel. It gave her an extra inch, one she desperately needed to combat his father's height. Her smoky gray eyes were focused on his father, while a brilliant smile lit her face up. Even though it was a picture, she radiated undiluted happiness and adoration for the man that held her.

His father was dressed in a nice, dark blue shirt with black slacks, black dress shoes, and a white bowtie. His inky hair was cropped short, much like how Levi's was presently, but without the undercut. A soft smile graced his father's face, which softened his features even more than the reversal of time did. Levi's hands shook slightly as he held the picture.

 _They look so happy here… They could have married. They could have raised me together. Things could have been different. Why didn't they?_  Anger bubbled in Levi's stomach, but it was weak. It didn't matter now. There was no way to change it.

He sighed and set the pictures next to the other objects. A glint of sliver inside the box caught his eye. Levi turned back. There was one more object in the box. A small locket lay in the yellow folds, where it glinted up at him. Two wings adorned its sliver surface, like those of an angel. It looked familiar.

Levi's hands shook as he picked it up. It was small, barely bigger than a quarter, and very thin. His thumb found the clasp on the bottom and it opened with a quiet click.

Two small pictures sat inside. His mother and father stood together on the left side. His mother's hands were clasped over the gentle swell of her stomach. A happy, peaceful smile was spread across her face. His father had an arm around her waist, but his smile was sad, like something was about to happen.

Silver eyes pulled away from that picture and went over to the other. It was a small photo of his mother, a close up of her face. Silver eyes stared at him, mischievous and playful. The corners of her pale mouth were pulled up in a mysterious, Mona Lisa-esque smile. Her inky hair was pulled back, but some strands had escaped to frame her small face and delicate features.

Levi swallowed hard and shut the locket with a snap. Looking at her was hard, even after so many years. Seeing his parents happy and together hurt even more. Levi clasped the locket around his neck and the weight settled on top of his breastbone, cold and small.

The raven-haired teen rose after a few moments and grabbed the VCR tape. He strode across the room and turned the TV on. Within a minute or two, the tape was in and he stood back to watch it.

For a moment, everything was black and there was a small voice, quiet and feminine: his mother's. Her words were indistinct over the sound of fumbling, but eventually everything went silent and the black receded as the person in front of the camera stepped back.

His mother stood in the middle of their old living room, the piano behind her. The black was actually the dark, navy blue sundress she was wearing. It didn't hide the bump of her stomach, swelled with the child inside. She smiled at the camera and waved with a quick flutter of her fingers.

_"I went to the doctor the other day and found out that I'm going to have a beautiful baby boy. You probably can't hear me, but hello, Levi! I can't wait to see you grow up. I hope you look like your father. He's a beautiful man, really. I know he left before you were born, but he had to. One day, I'll tell you, but that's not the point of this video. I'm going to make some videos and tapes so I can give them to you when you get older so that you don't forget."_

She turned and slowly eased herself onto the piano bench before she turned back and looked at the camera.  _"I'm going to play you my favorite song. I hope you'll come to treasure music too. It's how I met your father. So Levi, my beautiful, beautiful son, this is for you. It's called 'Moonlight Sonata' by Beethoven."_

She turned to face the piano and took a quiet breath. Her fingers skimmed across the bone-white keys and settled. She took another breath and started to play.

Two long notes sounded out at the same time while further up the scale, three others began to play in a one-two-three pattern, each only lasting half a second or so. The melody was slow, melancholy almost. The pattern of three repeated as a constant in the song, while another note, higher than those, joined in with the two low notes. Together, the lowest and highest notes created a soothing undercurrent.

Levi watched, enraptured, as his mother's slim fingers slowly waltzed their way across the keys. She swayed slightly to the music, a smile on her face. Her shoulders shook slightly. An indistinct, almost unnoticeable, shape trickled down her face as the cluster of three notes dropped to two and rose up the scale. She was crying, but there was still a smile on her face.

Levi continued to watch and listen. The grief, dulled by time, mixed with sorrow and a little joy. All too soon, the song drew to a close. His mother smiled softly, wiped her face, and turned towards the camera.  _"I hope you enjoyed that. I love you."_  She stood and approached the camera once more. The video cut to black. There was no more on the tape.

Something dripped onto Levi's hand. He glanced down. There was a small drop of water on his hand.  _Is the roof leaking…? It's not raining._ The raven-haired teen brought a hand to his face. His cheeks were damp with tears, while his eyes continued to water.  _When did I start crying?_

He had been too focused on the music, too focused on his mother, to realize that he had started to cry for the first time in years. He hadn't even realized how much seeing those things had hurt or how happy they had made him, until then.

Levi pulled his glasses off his face and scrubbed at his cheeks and eyes. He turned the TV off and shuffled into the bathroom to splash some water on his face. The water was cool and helped calm him down. Levi wiped his face off and inspected himself in the mirror. His eyes were a little red, but he had never been a messy crier. He hung the hand towel back up and left his room. The walk downstairs was quick and his mind was blank.

His father sat downstairs in one of the dark green armchairs, a book in hand. Blue eyes flickered up to Levi after a few moments. Confusion flashed across his face. "Do you need something?"

Levi shrugged. "I just… wanted to say thanks. And goodnight… Dad."

Surprise flashed across his father's face, but a small, hesitant smile crept up after a few moments. "Goodnight… son."

* * *

**From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Hey Levi, Armin Mikasa Gramps and I are gonna see the Shiganshina Orchestra on the 5 th** **. Do you wanna come with us?  
Received: 8:53 PM, July 30** **th** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Sure. What time and how much?**  
 **Sent: 9:13 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **I'll come to your house at 5. Tickets are 35**  
 **Received: 9:14 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Alright it's a date. Can't wait. You can come over sooner if you want**  
 **Sent: 9:15 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Haha I guess it is. First official one ^^ what time?**  
 **Received: 9:17 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Damn right it is. Anytime you want**  
 **Sent: 9:18 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **^^ Okay. I'll text you before I come over**  
 **Received: 9:18 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Sounds like a plan. So what are you doing?**  
 **Sent: 9:19 PM, July 30 th** **, 2013**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An important announcement before I let you all go: recently, I made my high school softball team. Because of this and another story, "END GAME" (which can be found on fanfiction.net), update times will drop slightly, but I'll do my best to get a chapter out about every week or so. Thank you and have a wonderful day/night/existence!


	14. Tease

Jean wandered down the streets with his earbuds in and his hands in his pockets. His steps were slower than necessary.  _I'll probably be late. Hell, I'm_ trying _to be late. It would probably be for the best… but I don't want it to have to be._  Jean wasn't really sure why he had agreed.  _Maybe it's because I'm tired of hiding – of bending to Mom's demands. God, she'd flip is she knew. Fuck, she'd probably kick me out. Well, if I was lucky._

His hands clenched and he ducked his head a little more in an attempt to be invisible. It wasn't easy, but at least most gazes that landed on him continued to slide on. Jean felt twitchy, nervous. It was bad enough that he felt sick to his stomach.  _Is this how a criminal feels after they've done something?_  He probably did look like a criminal the way he kept glancing around, paranoid, and how he kept ducking down the less-traversed streets.

He couldn't help it. What if his mother happened to go out and see him? What if one of the people from their church, one of the more closed-minded ones, saw him with Armin? There was no doubt that his mother would immediately jump all over him to find out who Armin was and who Armin was to him.  _What is Armin to me? A friend?_  Jean knew that wasn't the honest answer; not really. He liked Armin too much to call it 'just as a friend like'.

_And to think this all started over tutoring… God dammit, I should just go home and try to forget it. Or I should pick up a girl and date her even if I won't love her. Then Mom would stop harping on me. I could ignore Armin. Focus on something fake. A fake love. A fake life. A fake sexuality. A fake me that my mom would love._

Jean's steps slowed and he looked up at the establishment in front of him: Christian's Café. He checked his watch.  **3:12**.  _Late. Maybe he's already left. I can still turn around. I can still go home. I can try to forget about him. Try to pretend I don't like him as so much more than a friend._  Jean shuddered and shoved the door open, numb inside. He glanced around.

The place looked cheerful, with walls painted in pastel colors more suited for Easter, white and blue-checkered floors, and dark brown counters that provided a contrast. He could see the kitchen staff through rectangular openings in the back wall. There weren't many people inside the café: an old woman, two men playing chess, a group of three girls who seemed to be trying to show as much skin as possible, and a golden-haired, sky-eyed boy that played with his emotions and messed with his head.

Jean's heart managed to shoot into his throat and weigh his stomach down when he saw the object weighing on his mind so heavily as of late. Armin sat by the window, his chin on one hand while the fingers of the other nervously tapped away at the table. A cup of tea or coffee sat in front of him, but he was ignoring it. He looked nervous and vaguely disheartened.

 _… Why does he always have to look so cute?_  Jean walked over on stiff legs and slid into the seat across from Armin. Blue eyes darted over to him and widened. Armin broke out into a brilliant grin, one that made his whole face light up and made the sad cast melt away. Jean felt blood flow to his face and he looked away, his gaze focused on the world outside. _Why does he have to look so happy? It's just me…_  "What do you want?" He almost winced at how gruff and disinterested his voice sounded to his own ears. Armin shrugged. "I just wanted to see you. You didn't sound too good the other night. I was worried….about you."

_Don't worry about me, you idiot. It's not like I can tell you anyways. It's not like I can let you worry about me either, though. I'm just gonna end up hurting you. I don't want to, but I have to. I've gotta listen to Mom; I can't let mom do something, anything, crazy 'cause of you… 'cause I'm stupid and broken._

Jean sighed. "Well I'm obviously fine, so you can stop worrying." It was harder to sound arrogant and irritated around Armin even though it came so easily around everyone else.

"If you're 'fine', why were you drunk? Why'd you… what was wrong with you when you saw us in the park? You've known Eren's gay. You've known I'm bi. So why attack us then and not before?" The ash-haired teen swallowed hard.  _I want to tell someone._ Need  _to tell_ him _. I need to protect him though, and… would he even believe me? Would it even make a difference? Change anything?_ Small hands settled overtop his, breaking him out of his mini-hurricane of conflicting thoughts and providing a small amount of much appreciated warm, soothing comfort. Amber eyes shot back to Armin for the first time since he'd walked in. "Please," Armin pleaded, his sky-blue eyes wide.

Jean grabbed Armin's shirt collar and pulled him close. " _I can't_ ," he practically hissed. With so little distance, he could smell Armin. A mixture of some kind of spicy tea and pine. It went straight to Jean's head. He couldn't think. He acted on impulse.

Jean pulled Armin closer and kissed him.

* * *

 

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Jean KISSED me…..!**  
 **Sent: 5:45 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **whaaaaat? 0.o  
Received: 5:46 PM, July 31** **st** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Ummm, Well, I went to go get coffee with him today AND HE  KISSED** **ME!  
Sent: 5:48 PM, July 31** **st** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **… But I thought Jean was homophobic?**  
 **Received: 5:49 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Yeah, I thought the same, but apparently he's not and his mom is the reason he did that. He really regrets it, but she is majorly against gays/bi's….**  
 **Sent: 5:51 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **…. I'll take your word on it. That's great Armin ^^ I'm happy that things worked out for you~**  
 **Received: 5:53 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Thanks Eren! I'm glad they did too. But I feel bad for Jean… His mom kicked him out the day we saw him in the park.**  
 **Sent: 5:56 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Really? Damn that sucks**  
 **Received: 5:56 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Yeah… But at least she doesn't know he's gay, just like your dad.**  
 **Sent: 5:57 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **From Eren Jaeger:**  
 **Mm. That's good. Having the homophobic parent be oblivious is always a lifesaver**  
 **Received: 5:58 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

 **To Eren Jaeger:**  
 **I don't doubt it. So, how are you doing?**  
 **Sent: 5:59 PM, July 31 st** **, 2013**

* * *

 

Petra leaned further into the bushes, her amber eyes trained on a certain steel-eyed, stoic person. The raven-haired teen that was almost always the focus of her attention, turned the page in his book. She couldn't see the title from the distance, or make out much of the book itself, but it must have been interesting as Levi was immersed. The fact that he was seated in a tree instead of on one of the swings or on a blanket he had spread out on the ground proved it. Levi only climbed up trees to read when he wanted to be left alone. After all, not many people looked up.

The ginger-haired girl sighed quietly and plucked at the grass beneath her as she watched him. He looked peaceful despite the lack of expression on his face.  _Levi… He's happier lately. He smiles more. He doesn't insult Zoe, of all people, as much. He's changed._  It was all because of 'Eren,' the boy Levi was dating. Something about Eren made Levi come out of the shell he had made.

 _I wanted to be the one to do that…_  She was more than a little jealous of Eren, but hopelessness accompanied the envy of the boy she still hadn't met. Because somehow, in some way, she was inferior to Eren. The amber-eyed girl sighed and set her head on her arm.  _Can I win him over? Is there any way? I wish, but…_

Soft rustles caught her attention and her head snapped around. At first, all she saw was a relatively tall figure, distinctly male. She blinked and the male's features came into focus in the sunlight, dappled from the leaves. Short, white-blonde hair with a darker under-layer that he had grown out. Narrow brown eyes caught wide amber ones.

"Petra…?" Oluo said with a look of surprise all over his face. His cheeks looked pink, as if he was embarrassed or had done something physical. "Why are you on the ground?"

Petra's heart slammed to a stop as she stared up at him, unable to form a response. "Um… I like the ground?" she managed to choke out the question after a few minutes.

Oluo shook his head and smiled. "Mind if I sit down with you?"

She shook her head. The brown-eyed teen flopped onto the grass beside her, his face pointed at the canopy above. Petra sat up, her shoulder against the bush, and stared down at Oluo. "What are you doing here?" she asked after a moment.

Oluo shrugged. "I was bored, so I decided to take a walk. Plus, they sometimes start up Frisbee games by the lake if there are enough people."

He spoke slowly, probably so that he wouldn't bite his tongue. When he did that, it was easy to notice how he had stopped mimicking Levi.  _I'm glad he's being himself again. I like him better when he's not trying to imitate Levi….or anyone else for that matter_ "Oh…"

They sat in silence for a long time. Petra's eyes shot between Levi and Oluo. The short male still sat in the tree, his book still in hand. Oluo's eyes were shut, his breathing even, but the way he moved occasionally let her know that he was still awake. She wanted to watch Levi, but she didn't want to leave Oluo. She felt conflicted. It was strange. No one else made her feel quite as conflicted when it came to watching Levi or being with the other person. The orange-haired teen hugged her knees to her chest, settled her hands on top of her feet, and heaved a heavy sigh.

A brown eye cracked open and glanced at her. "Feeling down?" Petra shrugged. "Do you want to tell me?"

The short teen glanced at Oluo and worried her lower lip. "The guy I like is in love with someone else…" Something about saying it made the realization slam into her. Levi might like her, but he didn't  _love_  her. He loved another. He loved a boy named Eren. Eren, who made Levi smile more. Eren, who made Levi come out of his self-imposed shell. Eren, who made Levi happier than Petra had ever seen him. Her chest ached with that realization.  _Did I ever really have a hope with him?_

A warm hand settled over her hands. Amber orbs slowly made their way up to Oluo. His face was blood red and his deep brown eyes settled on everything except Petra. "H-He must be an idiot to not like you," Oluo choked out. Petra's face flushed, almost as dark as Oluo's The taller teen sucked down a breath, sat up, and looked Petra right in the eyes for the first time that day. Oluo was pale, almost like he was going to be sick at any second. "You're… you're an astounding woman. Petra, I… I really like you, okay?"

 _Oh._ Petra stared at Oluo for a long time, an eternity really. In the five years that she had known Oluo, she would never have guessed he would utter those words. To anyone. Petra swallowed hard and stared at the older teen. The question in his eyes was painfully obvious.

 _Oh God, what do I say?_  She couldn't say yes – she still liked Levi. _Do I really like Levi? Do I actually_ love _him, or do I love the image of him I created? Does it matter either way? He has Eren now. I don't have a chance. Not against him. Levi… He's only going to see me as a friend. I've just seen him as something to obsess over. I don't even know why, not really._

Oluo's hand tightened around her's, his was warm and soft. His face was pale and hopeful. Petra bit her lip.  _What should I say? Yes? No? Oluo's been by my side for_ everything.  _I know everything about him. I barely know anything about Levi. I don't know what I should do. He deserves a chance._ "I… Yes."

A grin flashed onto Oluo's face. His teeth clamped down, straight onto his tongue, hard enough that blood started to flow down his chin. "Ow, ow, ow!  _Phuck_!" Petra shook her head and grinned. She pulled a small cloth from Oluo's pocket – one that was specifically for when he bit his tongue – and pressed it against his face.

"Hold still you idiot," she said with a teasing eye roll. Even as she pressed the cloth to his bloody tongue, Petra couldn't help but smile.  _Maybe, just maybe, this is what I need. Maybe it's time I said goodbye to my thoughts about Levi._

* * *

 

Eren held up a shirt so he could eye it critically. It was light gray in color, with a collar and white buttons. He already had black skinny jeans on. He just couldn't decide on what shirt.  _Is this good? Too preppy? Argh, this is where Armin would be useful. It's too bad he doesn't come over anymore. Dad took care of_ that _._

With a soft sigh, the chestnut-haired boy refolded the shirt and set it back in the drawer. After a moment of rummaging, he held up another. It was green in color, like that of a deep leaf. It looked nice in a kind of casual way.  _… This will work._

With the shirt in one hand and a brush in the other, he edged over to his door and crept across the hall. The house was silent. He was the only one home. Even so, the other day had set him on a new edge. Belts made him cringe and every sound his father made sent Eren into a corner to cower. Admittedly, his father had made no violent advances since then, but it was only a matter of time. His father was like a bomb with a timer that couldn't be seen. Something could come at any time.

Eren shut the bathroom door and twisted around so he could see his back. He sighed with relief. Most of the bruises had faded to a dull yellow, tinged occasionally with light spots of blue or green. Only one patch, just above his right hip, retained that purplish color, but that too had started to fade.  _Form quick, fade quick. If they form at all, that is._

Eren tugged the shirt over his head and then started to attack his hair with the brush. It was a mess. His hair, while soft and fluffy, was a pain to work into submission. The only time it had really stayed flat was when Mikasa had straightened it and applied a copious amount of hairspray. After a few minutes, Eren simply gave up on his hair and darted back into his room. He jammed his shoes onto his feet and snatched his phone up to fire a text as he stuffed his wallet into his pocket.

 **To Levi Rivaille:**  
 **I'm on my way over now**  
 **Sent: 2:25 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Levi Rivaille:**  
 **Okay**  
 **Received: 2:25 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

Eren spared a moment to grin tenderly at Levi's name before he tucked his phone into his pocket and left his house, Levi's CD's in hand. It was a warm day, but cooler than the days before. No clouds littered the sky.  _I'm not ready for winter, but at least then I can cover up more. Especially if Dad gets more violent…_

The emerald-eyed boy shuddered and gripped his arms, fingers digging into his biceps.  _Don't. Just don't. Today's supposed to be a good day. A good day. I don't have to see Dad until tomorrow. I'll be with Levi and Armin's family._  Eren hunched over and quickened his pace. Within a few minutes, he stood on Levi's doorstep. He knocked on the door.

It opened to reveal a familiar-yet-not face. It was as if someone had taken Levi, copied him, and then altered the copy. The copy was taller, with a broader frame and features that weren't quite as fine and delicate as Levi's were, yet the faces were still similar in the arch of the eyebrows and the thin nose. Light blue eyes replaced gray ones, and the black hair was longer, with streaks of gray slowly working their way in at the roots. There was no doubt that it was Levi's father. "Ah… you must be Eren?" Eren nodded. He offered the elder Rivaille a wave and a small smile. Mr. Rivaille smiled in return. It was hesitant, but genuine. "It's good to meet you," Levi's father said as he stuck his hand out.

"Good to… meet you," Eren whispered as he tentatively shook the man's hand and stepped inside.

He's upstairs. I'll… I'll leave you two to it."

The teen left his shoes by the door and crept up the stairs, straight towards Levi's room. It was as clean as the other day, if not cleaner.  _Levi has high standards…_  Eren thought idly as he glanced around. The CD's were put away. All of the books except for one were put away. Levi's bed was crisply made. He took the CD's and set them on the desk, beside the book. The bathroom door opened and Levi strolled out.

He was dressed in tight, white jeans with a broad black belt and a light blue button-down that he had tucked in. Overtop, Levi had thrown on a sleeveless black vest with white buttons. A silver necklace dangled around his neck, small but noticeable.

A thin, pale hand wrapped around Eren's wrist and pulled him close. Another hand tangled into his hair and tugged him down. "Hello," Levi breathed. He smelled of lavender, cotton, and mint toothpaste. Without his glasses, his eyes were brighter, lighter, and bigger, like gray pools that Eren could just fall into.

Hey…" he whispered in return.

A small smile tugged Levi's lips upwards and he kissed Eren. After a moment, Levi's head settled on Eren's shoulders while the shorter teen's arms snaked around his waist. "I'm glad you're here," Levi murmured. Eren could feel his face start to burn. He tightened his arms around Levi and hummed.  _I'm glad I'm here too._

* * *

 

An hour passed and the slowly approaching second hour found both of the boys on Levi's bed. Eren's head rested on Levi's legs while pale fingers entangled themselves in his soft, brown hair. Levi's other hand rested on Eren's cheek, where he occasionally ran his thumb along the younger teen's jaw; running it along his lips when he felt like it as well.

In the background, his mother's cassette ran on side one. One side of the cassette was filled with renditions of songs that her friends had played for her. The second side was her actually playing a variety of songs, all for the piano. "Spring" by Vivaldi serenaded them, the only sound in their relaxed silence.

Levi ran his fingers through Eren's hair slowly.  _We should probably get up soon… I don't want to._  The raven-haired teen sighed quietly. Eren's head shifted on his leg as he twisted to peer sideways at Levi. His emerald eyes were wide with curiosity, probably of Levi's sigh. "I don't want to get up," Levi said simply. Eren grinned and tapped at his phone for a moment before he passed it to Levi.

**Haha, me neither**

Levi hummed and passed the phone back. Before his hand had time to return to the silky chestnut mess known as Eren's hair, the phone was passed back to him. Bemused, Levi took it from Eren.  _I never quite realized how quick he types. Or I just keep forgetting. Either way, he never ceases to amaze me._

**Can you play the piano for me?**

The pale teen smiled as he passed the phone back. "Sure. But only if you play for me one day." Eren grinned at Levi and nodded. "Alright, c'mon," Levi said as he sat up. The music room, as Levi fondly called it, was filled with light that streamed in from the open window. The curtains shifted around with a soft breeze that smelled of fresh-cut grass and the neighbor's flowers. Levi slid onto the bench. The piano lid was down. While it wasn't his favorite way to play, it could keep the sound down, which meant his father wouldn't be disturbed.

Eren leaned against the side of the piano, his chin propped up on one hand. He looked so relaxed, so peaceful, that he almost seemed like a different person. When Eren had first arrived, he had seemed so tense, so nervous. Time simply melted that tension away until Eren was almost all smiles and laughter. The chestnut-haired teen grinned over at him.

Levi raised the lid over the kids. His fingers brushed over the smooth, white pieces. "Any requests?" he asked. Eren shook his head. Levi smirked and positioned his fingers. "'Claire de Lune,' by Debussy," Levi announced.

The first few notes sang through the air, short and sweet. The notes were quiet and low. They easily slipped into silence and melded together to create a peaceful harmony. Levi swayed to the subtle beat as his fingers waltzed overtop the gleaming black ivory. The song sped up and Levi's hands flew. One silver eye cracked open. Eren stared at him, rapt with admiration. Levi smirked and let the last notes fade into silence. "Beautiful…" Eren whispered.

"Mm… do you want to hear another?" An energetic nod met his question. Silver eyes shut once more as Levi pondered over what to play.  _I'll play "Nocturne in B Major, opus 32, No.1", by Chopin._  "Nocturne" started out a little faster than "Claire de Lune" had, but it was just as soft, just as tranquil. Slim fingers fluttered over the notes and sent them drifting into the air. Slowly, they grew in volume and then lapsed into silence, after which they returned, barely audible.

When the song reached its end, Levi slipped from some to song: "Embraceable You" by George Gershwin; "Piano Sonata 35, 1st Movement" by Franz Joseph Hayden; "Arabesque no. 2" by Debussy; "Fantasie-Improptu, Opus 66" by Chopin.

He was halfway through Chopin's piece when an incorrect note jarred him from his music-induced trance. Slate eyes snapped open and shot over to the key, too far away from his hands to have been played by him. The notes faded into silence, his fingers frozen on the keys. A tan finger stretched up from the offending note. Eren smirked at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I thought you wanted to hear me play?"

"Do…" Eren murmured. His smile never wavered. It only seemed to broaden. A blush joined it as Eren stumbled his way through the next few words. "Too dis…tracting when you… play." The younger teen's voice grew fainter as he went and his face tightened slightly.

Levi touched the back of Eren's hands with his fingertips. "Hush, you idiot," he said softly. "If it hurts, just type it out." Eren nodded sheepishly and pulled his finger away. Levi shook his head and started to play again. It only took a few notes for his eyes to close again. Within a measure, he was immersed in the song again.

Another wrong note sang through the air. Levi's hands faltered, but he continued to play. One gray eye cracked open and stared Eren straight in his entrancing emerald orbs. "Enjoying yourself?" Eren waggled his eyebrows teasingly and retracted his hand once more.

The black-haired teen shook his head and let the song fade into silence before he switched to another, one of his own creations. From the beginning, it was fast-paced and had a general aura of happiness to it. There was a set of notes that held a familiar pattern: a second for his little finger before the ring and middle finger came down, a millisecond apart. There was a slight pause before his middle finger hit another key, another pause, and then his ring, middle, and pointer fingers hit their notes in rapid succession. Levi used that pattern to set the tempo of the entire song. Beneath the notes, he heard the rasp of cloth, but Levi didn't pay much attention. The song had absorbed him.

Warm breath brushed his ear and strands of dark hair fluttered as Eren gently blew against Levi's lobe. The raven-haired teen faltered for a moment, startled at the sudden action. Arms curled around his waist while a chin came to rest on his shoulder. Levi sighed quietly and shook his head, bemused, as he continued to play with Eren draped over his back.

He was barely sixteen beats back into the song when Eren's head shifted, his soft brown hair tickling Levi's cheek as he went. Soft lips brushed the skin of his shoulder. The touch sent a shiver down Levi's spine, but he didn't falter. Eren's lips parted and he gently started to suck on the smooth, white skin. Levi's hands froze again. It must have amused Eren, because the corners of his mouth twitched up as he continued to kiss Levi's shoulder. The raven-haired teen brought one hand to Eren's head, but he didn't push him away. Eren gently bit down on Levi's neck. His mouth shifted away and he started his gentle attack on another part of Levi's neck.

 _That's it, he asked for it._ Levi stood slowly and grabbed Eren's wrist so he could pull the younger teen around the piano. The raven-haired teen pressed his back against the side of the large instrument.  _I'm glad I left the lid down._

A twitch of his wrist pulled Eren up against him. His arms slipped around Eren's waist and pinned him there. Their faces were a hair's breadth apart. With so little space between them, Levi could watch Eren's face burn brilliantly with a blush of embarrassment. He could see a faint scar on Eren's right cheek. He could see the blue accents within the luminous emerald depths of Eren's eyes.

An intoxicating scent of mint and melons filled Levi's senses. Soft, chestnut strands brushed across his face. Happiness burned in Levi's stomach and a small smile turned his lips up as he pulled Eren in. Eren's mouth was soft, his lips willing. Levi let his eyes slide shut as he turned his head a little. The edge of the piano dug into his back, but he ignored it. Thin fingers tangled themselves into silky strands of brown hair. His other hand danced across Eren's waist.

Levi gently nibbled on Eren's lower lip and slid his tongue in. A soft, breathy sound escape Eren as Levi explored his mouth. The pale teen smirked and slipped his fingers beneath Eren's shirt. Eren jerked slightly as Levi's fingers skimmed across his back, but he didn't break away. Instead, his arms wound around Levi's waist. Heavy breaths filled Levi's ears as their tongues danced together.

Levi leaned further back until one foot barely touched the ground. The other, he brought up slowly between Eren's legs. Eren gasped against Levi's mouth as the smaller teen gently rubbed his knee against Eren's crotch. Silver eyes cracked open to look at Eren, who had pulled away slightly, his green eyes wide. His face was flushed, his lips parted. Both of them panted quietly.

"Um… sorry?"

Eren shook his head and smiled softly at Levi before he leaned back in. Levi pushed Eren's shirt up a little further and he deepened the kiss again. Their tongues twisted together. After a few moments, Levi tentatively moved his knee again. A breathy moan escaped Eren, but he didn't pull away again. Levi broke away and pressed his mouth against Eren's jaw.

Quiet gasps filled his ears as Levi gently bit his way down to Eren's shoulder, careful not to leave a mark. Every little noise that Eren made sent excited shudders racing down his spine. Levi nuzzled Eren's neck. His mouth latched on to a patch of skin and he nipped and sucked at it while his knee continued to rub Eren through his jeans. Eren's breath hitched and his fingers dug into Levi's shoulder.

"Hey Levi, when are you two supposed to be leaving?"

Gray eyes flared open and shot up as Levi pulled away from Eren's neck. Levi pushed himself up a little so he could see. Against him, Eren froze. His body was stiff. Faint tremors carried over from him to Levi. His fingers dug harshly into Levi's shoulders and back. His breathing had stopped altogether. Levi could feel Eren's erection die against his knee. Levi's father showed up in the doorway. He blinked a few times. "Hey," Levi said nonchalantly.

"… Am I interrupting something?"

 _Just a little… Probably a good thing though._  "It's fine," Levi said. "We're leaving in a few minutes." His father nodded and looked at them one last time before he walked away. This time, Levi heard him moving down the steps.  _How did I miss that before?_

Levi sighed and shook his head. "Damn…"  _It's probably a good thing he came in… I don't think either of us were wanting to stop._  He could still feel Eren shaking against him. Levi pushed Eren back a little more so he could see the younger teen's face. Eren was pale and wide-eyed. They stared at each other for a moment. "Eren… are you okay?"

The green-eyed teen hesitantly nodded. "Star…" he swallowed hard, "Startled…"

"Sorry about that…" Levi stretched up and kissed Eren on the forehead. Eren flinched away at first, but he didn't on Levi's second attempt. The raven-haired teen slid off the piano. "Come on. We've got to go."

* * *

 

Levi sat on the tan couch in the Arlert's living room. Eren sat to his right, with Armin at the other end. Mikasa was perched in a tan armchair near Armin. Their grandfather – who insisted that Levi call him 'Gramps' – was the one they were waiting on.

It would only be a few more minutes, hopefully. Levi was tired of being eyed by Mikasa. She alternated between smoothing out the bottom of her knee-length black dress and rubbing the edges of the red scarf. All the while, she stared at him, as though she was a scientist and he was her subject. Admittedly, they probably hadn't started off their meeting quite right.

" _Mikasa, this is Levi." Armin said._

_Mikasa looked him over with a critical eye. "… He's short," she muttered into her scarf. Both Armin and Eren laughed quietly as Levi glared at the younger – and taller – girl. Eren kissed Levi on the temple before he could snap at Mikasa._

_I'm still tempted to punch her. She looks like she could hold her own. Besides, you_ never  _talk about height to a 'vertically challenged person' as Zoe calls it._ Levi ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.  _Just stop thinking about it_.

Armin had opted for a navy button-up with black slacks. He was the main source of conversation between the four, both verbally and in ASL. Some of the sign language, Levi could understand except for when Mikasa, Armin, and Eren signed too fast for him to keep up.

 _At least it's good practice for me._  He watched as Eren caught Mikasa's attention and signed something to her. She grimaced and shook her head. Eren signed something again.  _"Stop glaring at Levi. It's-"_  Levi lost the rest as Eren sped up. Mikasa rolled her eyes but nodded in consent.

Eren smiled at her and snuggled up next to Levi. The raven-haired teen draped his arm over Eren and pressed his nose against the top of Eren's head. He raised an eyebrow at Mikasa, who shook her head slightly. She couldn't hide the small smile on her face – one that Levi was willing to bet was of approval.

Gramps appeared a moment later, keys in hand. He was dressed in a simple gray button-up shirt and black slacks. "Come along you four," he said with a kind and broad grin on his face. "It's time to go."

They crammed themselves into the Arlert's car, which could thankfully fit five people easily and comfortably, especially if four of them were skinny teenagers. Armin and his grandfather supplied most of the conversation, which Mikasa and Levi occasionally joined in. Eren sent his input through either Armin or Levi. They spent the half-hour ride bouncing through a variety of topics: music, art, travel, and more. It helped the ride pass quickly.

The coliseum lot already had some people trickling in. At the moment, not many had arrived, but Armin assured Levi that more would. They found a parking spot and slipped in. The seats were first come first serve, so they found seats about ten rows up from the stage, right in the middle. They watched as the orchestra began to set up and tune their instruments to perfection. People trickled in until the coliseum was relatively full.

At six o'clock, the lights dimmed.

In the cover of darkness, Eren's hand slipped into Levi's and their fingers tangled together.

The lights slowly came to life on the stage, centered on a woman dressed in a sun-yellow dress with a small circlet in her hair. A glossy black violin was tucked beneath her chin. Levi watched as she drew the bow across the neck of the violin.

Levi squeezed Eren's hand. "Thank you…" he whispered. Eren smiled and squeezed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sorry it took me so long. Softball, a biology project, END GAME, and a power outage (because yaaay, Mother Nature) kinda held me up. Haha I've gotta thank Cal for fixing up the JeArmin part. Also, JeArmin and Olutra because 1) More ships yay~ and 2) because they give me feels. So I should hopefully have another up within a week or so, but no guarantees. Have a good day/night/existence!


	15. Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go listen to "Goonight Moon" by Go Radio. Put that shit on loop. Do it.

Eren leaned up against Levi's chest, a grin on his face. The orchestra had gone splendidly, with both a range of music from all ages and genres and Levi's awe towards them.  _This whole day's been good._ Even if Mikasa felt the need to shoot glares at Levi from beside Armin. She looked agitated, which was understandable. Guilt welled up in Eren when he remembered just how long he and Armin had neglected to tell her for. That doubtlessly contributed to some of her irritation.

Eren watched as Mikasa tapped Armin's leg and started to sign something in the dark. Her fingers were visible in the faint light, but only just. " _Let me talk to him when we get home,"_ Mikasa signed.

" _No,"_  Armin shot back at her.  _"You'll just threaten him."_

" _No I won't."_

" _One word: Annie."_

" _Shut up."_

"What are they signing?" Levi whispered into Eren's ear.

"Not important… or bad," he whispered back. The arm around his waist pulled him a little closer in response. It was a little uncomfortable with the seatbelt pulling him one way and his body going another, but Eren didn't mind. Levi was warm and comfortable. He was a haven from the horrible things at home. Eren clenched his hands and swallowed hard. The thought of home made him sick, afraid, and something else that he wasn't quite sure of. Something he hadn't felt in a long time. He refocused on Mikasa and Armin's silent conversation as a source of a distraction.

" _Armin, I swear to God, all I need is five minutes!"_

" _Ask Eren."_

 _Oh shit._  Mikasa's head turned up and her eyes, dark in the lack of light, zeroed in on him.  _"Eren. Can I talk to Levi? I promise I won't threaten him."_

Eren reluctantly unwound his fingers from Levi's and sighed.  _She's impossible. Too damn motherly for her own good. I mean, I love her to death, but she really needs to learn when to lay off. Maybe she will one day. In about six centuries._

" _That's what you said about Annie."_

"…  _So?"_

" _Mikasa… don't worry about him. Levi's not a bad person."_

Mikasa narrowed her eyes, but turned away with a huff so she could glare out the window instead. Armin glanced at Eren, his face barely visible as the sun finished its descent beyond the horizon. Both of the boys shrugged silently. The blonde pulled out his phone and tapped away at it. Eren twisted his head slightly and pressed his lips to Levi's neck. The fingers on his stomach started to move in slow circles. The rest of the ride home was silent, punctured only by the sounds of the world outside.

* * *

**From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Hey**  
 **Received: 6:15 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Hello**  
 **Received: 9:24 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Sorry, we just left the concert hall. What's up?**  
 **Sent: 9:26 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **How was it? Not much, just working on my book report. What about you**  
 **Received: 9:29 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **It was great! I even bought a CD~ Haha, you should have done it sooner :-P I hope it goes well for you. I'm sitting in the car on the way home and watching Mikasa glare at Levi.**  
 **Sent: 9:31 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **That's good. Ah that must be entertaining. Who's Levi?**  
 **Received: 9:35 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Well, it was when I could still see her glaring at him. At least she won't hit him, not with Eren and Gramps here. He's the guy from the park. The one that hit you.**  
 **Sent: 9:38 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **I'm assuming that's a good thing. Oh...that guy.**  
 **Received: 9:43 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Yeah, it is. Haha well, at least I know why now. I told him like you asked and he said he was sorry to.**  
 **Received: 9:45 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Thanks Armin. Hey I've got a question for ya**  
 **Received: 9:49 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **No problem~ sure, ask away.**  
 **Received: 9:51 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Wanna go on a date tomorrow?**  
 **Received: 9:56 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Sure! Where to?**  
 **Received: 10:00 PM, August 5** **th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **It's a surprise**  
 **Received: 10:19 PM, August 5** **th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Fine . Where should I meet you then?**  
 **Sent: 10:20 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

 **From Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Smooth Ice 10AM good?**  
 **Received: 10:23 PM, August 5** **th** **, 2013**

 **To Jean Kirstein:**  
 **Definitely! Can't wait ^^**  
 **Sent: 10:25 PM, August 5 th** **, 2013**

* * *

"Who's sleeping where?" Armin asked. There was a pile of blankets stacked high in his arms. The top of his blonde-covered head was barely visible over the mound. With a huff, he dropped them into a chair and looked expectantly at the three other teens.

Eren glanced at Levi and Mikasa, an eyebrow raised. "Guys… room together?" he proposed.

Mikasa pierced him with a hard stare. "No. You can sleep in my room. Levi can sleep in Armin's."

"Mikasa, that makes no sense. We're all guys, so what's the problem?" Armin protested. Eren nodded in agreement, his emerald eyes wide and pleading.

"Think of it like military barracks," Levi added in. "Besides, we won't stay up and gossip like idiots."

Mikasa turned her gray-blue glare onto Levi. Her eyes were hard, but Levi merely stared back at her, his face smooth and expressionless.  _One of them is going to murder the other._  Eren shook his head and sighed. He waved his hand in front of Mikasa's face and signed at her.  _"Mikasa, we'll be fine. Don't worry about it. We're not going to get drunk or anything."_

Mikasa rolled her eyes.  _"That's not what I'm worried about. Besides, we don't even have alcohol in the house."_

" _Then what are you so worried about?"_

" _Just think about it Eren."_

Eren thought for a moment before it hit him. The emerald-eyed boy stared at Mikasa, shock in his eyes. "Wouldn't… do  _that_ ," he hissed as his face burned with embarrassment.  _No, we'd just get close. Like earlier, at his house. I wasn't even thinking about that! Jeez, she jumps to conclusions._  He could feel Levi's curious gaze on him. It made his face burn even hotter.

"Seriously Mikasa," Armin said, "We'll be fine. Don't worry." Three pairs of eyes stared the black-haired girl down, two pleading and one blank. Mikasa's frown deepened and she whirled around so she could storm out of the room, albeit quietly.

Eren sighed with relief and slung his arm across Levi's shoulder. "Let's get… settled," he rasped. "Armin… you can have the… bed."

The blonde boy grinned and shook his head. "Fine, fine, I will." He grabbed the blankets and stuffed some into the other teen's arms. "You'll want these though. I think the carpet is soft enough, but I grabbed an extra comforter or two, just in case." Within a few minutes, they had everything arranged. The two comforters were set out side-by-side a foot away from Armin's bed, with blankets and quilts tossed overtop. Eren stared up at the ceiling as he listened to Armin talk and relished in the warmth of Levi's fingers twisted around his.

"Have you guys gotten your schedules yet? I have English I, Earth and Environmental, Geometry, and Career Management. Exams are going to be hell."

A laugh bubbled up and Eren shook his head in amusement. "World History… Earth Environmental… Psych, and… Gym."

"Who do you have Environmental with?"

Eren frowned thoughtfully, "Um… Edwards." "Me too! Yes, first semester is gonna be good! Mikasa has World History first too, so you might have her in your class if you have Israel."

"I do."

"That's great! What do you have, Levi?"

"… Calculus, AP European History, Psych, and AP English IV."

Eren glanced over at Levi. "Who… Psych?"

"… I think its Peters."

The chestnut-haired boy grinned. "Same!"

"… I think this school year is going to be good," Armin mused quietly.

Eren hummed in agreement. He rolled onto his side and pressed up against Levi's shoulder. The smell of lavender and cotton was faint beneath the overlay of Armin's soaps – strawberry. It was a strange change, but not too bad. His lips brushed Levi's neck as he spoke quietly, words just for the raven-haired teen. "Can't wait… Psych's gonna be… fun."

"You'll get kicked out on a regular basis," Levi murmured back.

Eren chuckled and plucked at the carpet over their heads with his free hand. "You with me."

"Yeah right."

"Night guys," Armin murmured sleepily.

"Night," Eren and Levi chorused. Emerald eyes slid shut after a few minutes. "Night Levi…" he whispered.

"Goodnight," Levi murmured back. Eren felt lips brush the top of his head and an arm settled around his shoulders as he slipped into sleep.

* * *

The ceiling was dark. Silver light cast from the moon threw shadows across the cream colored drywall and plaster as it allowed for the slight illumination of the room. On the bed, Armin shifted a bit. From the distance, his breathing was inaudible. Beside Levi, Eren breathed quietly, peaceful in his deep sleep. One of the tan teen's arms was draped over Levi's head while the other was flung out to the other side. Eren's face was slack and smooth. No worry etched on his face. Levi ran a finger along Eren's cheekbone. The lanky teen didn't stir.

Levi watched Eren as he lay there, unable to sleep. It irritated the pale teen, but there was nothing he could do about it.  _It could be worse. I could be alone at home. Bored as hell._  His finger ran along Eren's face once more. The chestnut-haired boy shifted slightly into the touch. His lips moved soundlessly.  _What does he dream of? What's he dreaming of right now? His friends? The park? His father? Travel? Me? At least he's not having a nightmare again. I never did find out what that was about..._

Levi heaved a quiet sigh and rolled onto his back. Over the course of the last few hours, he had watched the shadows cast by the moonlight slowly creep their way across the room. He heard a car roll by outline and then the faint gleam of the headlights made its way into the room before it disappeared, along with the sound of the car. A warm summer breeze slipped in through the open window and rustled the curtains. 

The raven-haired teen raised his head slightly and glanced at the clock on Armin's nightstand.  **3:05**. Levi let his head drop back and he resumed his staring. Idly, he tapped his fingers against his leg as he played out Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata."  _Hm… I wonder when Eren will play his violin for me. Since I probably can't go over... I doubt he'd bring his violin out of his house… Skype maybe?_

A quiet creak broke the silence of the room. Gray eyes snapped over to the door and stared at the figure there. Mikasa clutched the door handle, her expression unreadable and her eyes dark. She raised a finger and crooked it in a _"come hither"_  gesture. Levi glanced at Eren. The emerald-eyed boy was completely still, from his fingers to his eyes.

With a barely contained sigh, the raven-haired teen delicately rose to his feet, draped the covers back over Eren, and slipped out of the room. As he did so, Mikasa turned away from him and walked down the hall. She led him into a room he hadn't yet been in. As the younger teen shut the door, Levi glanced around.

Mikasa's bed sat in the corner. The purple covers were unmade – perhaps she had been unable to sleep as well. Or, if the book on her nightstand was any indication, she had been reading and waiting. There was a small dresser with a few things set on top of it: makeup, a few bits of jewelry, a pair of socks, and a tennis ball. A bookshelf filled with video games, DVDs, and books sat beside of it, with a desk on the other side. There was nothing personal in the room aside from the three frames she had set around.

Levi turned around, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and looked at Mikasa. She left the lights off, so it was hard to see her face and the expression on it. Even so, there was a serious cast to her murky features and her stance. "Well," Levi began in her silence, "What do you want?" He had managed to pick up some of the signing in the car, so it wasn't like he hadn't expected it. What to say was another thing. That had been part of his thoughts while he had been lying next to Eren, listening to the younger teen's soft breaths.

"Are you toying with Eren? Do you even like him?" Levi stared at Mikasa, dumbfounded. That was a rarity for him. He wasn't even sure how to respond.  _Eren? A toy? Really? Why the hell would she think that? He's the complete opposite. He's… It's too early to know._  "Well?" the raven-haired girl demanded.

Levi dragged his fingers through his hair. "Idiot…" he muttered.  _Not my best way to start going about this._  It wasn't like what he was about to do was easy. Hell, it felt like one of the hardest things he had ever done. Normally, he shoved his emotions down and kept his thoughts to himself. He hid behind insults and a blank façade, elements that he had picked up after having been bounced from home to home. Elements that he couldn't let go of, even around Zoe and Eren.  _She's not going to leave me alone without an answer. What an annoying brat… She's just looking out for Eren. Dammit all._

"Eren… He's not a toy. I… really like him." His nails dug into his palms as his hands clenched. It wasn't what he wanted to say, but it was the best he could manage.

They stared at each other levelly. Levi could practically hear the gears in Mikasa's head turning as she mulled over his words. Eventually, she nodded. "That will work… for now. However…" she said before Levi could get his hand on the door handle. "If you ever hurt Eren and you hurt him more than necessary… I will not hesitate to hunt you down." Levi nodded readily to that. With that said, Mikasa brushed past him, effectively dismissing him.

With a soft snort, the short teen left Mikasa's room and padded down the hall on silent feet. Both Eren and Armin were still unmoving lumps when he returned to Armin's room. Levi made his way over to the little nest he and Eren had made. Slowly, he eased himself beneath the blanket. He managed to tug the covers back up to his shoulders before Eren stirred next to him. A sleepy emerald eye, dark without light, cracked open. "Levi…? Why're you… up?" Eren mumbled, his speech punctuated by both his normal lulls and yawns.

"Bathroom. Go back to sleep, brat," Levi whispered back. The chestnut-haired teen smiled serenely at him and wriggled a bit closer. An arm snaked over Levi's waist and closed the distance between their bodies so that they were chest-to-chest and forehead-to-forehead. Levi's toes brushed the lower half of Eren's shins. It felt like he was being embraced by a space heater. A warm, loving,  _beautiful_  space heater.

In the dark, Eren's lips found his for a slow, lazy kiss that only lasted for a few moments before Eren settled his mouth and nose into Levi's hair. Silver eyes closed and the silence of the night reclaimed them once more. They fell asleep in their little cocoon made of blankets and limbs, blissfully content.

* * *

Cold sweat coated Eren's body when he lurched into consciousness. Few things were immediately noticeable. His vision was filled with something pale he couldn't process. His body was rigid. He couldn't breathe. A frigid knot of dread and apprehension hung heavy in his stomach. The two feelings were inexplicable, but they were familiar. There was a third with them, one he couldn't quite place. One he hadn't felt in a long time. One he couldn't name. All three threatened to drown him, suffocate him, with their intensity.

Eren shuddered violently and tried to suck down a breath. The first time, he failed. The second try failed. On the third attempt, he managed to suck a breath through his tight windpipe. As Eren lay there gasping, things slowly came to him. The scent of strawberries that nearly masked the cotton and lavender. The fingers that ran gently through his hair. The voice in his ear that whispered soothing words.

"It's alright," Levi whispered, "You're safe. Just breathe. You can do it Eren. Just breathe." Eren pulled down another deep breath and wrapped his arms around Levi so he could pull the older teen closer. The chestnut-haired teen buried his face into Levi's hair and breathed in the comforting lavender and cotton scent. With Levi crushed against his chest, Eren felt a little more stable than before. Eventually, the shudders fell away and his breathing evened out. "You alright?" Eren nodded. "Do you… do you want to talk about it?"

"Can't re… remember," Eren mumbled into Levi's hair. That was true for the most part. Only glimpses remained: a hand; a bottle; the glint of steel.

"Okay," Levi said after a moment, his stony eyes filled with concern. "Just tell me if you need to talk."

"I will."

"Hey, rise and shine you two!" Armin called from the hallway, his voice cheery and energetic.

Eren peered over Levi's shoulder at Armin. The blonde boy was already dressed with a light green shirt and loose black and white plaid shorts.  _Damn him for being a morning person._ "Nooooo," the emerald-eyed teen groaned, "Don't wanna!"

Mikasa appeared in the doorway and looked down at the two. Her eyes weren't so cold when she looked at Levi.  _I wonder why?_  "Well then, you'll just miss the breakfast I finished making." Eren jerked upright and hauled Levi with him on accident. Mikasa smirked, "Thought so." With that, the pajama-clad girl and her adopted brother disappeared from the doorway and trooped downstairs.

The two boys looked at each other. Levi shook his head, obviously bemused. "Excited much?"

A sheepish smile scrunched Eren's face up. "She's great… cook."

"That's nice, but is she going to poison me?"

Eren bumped Levi's forehead with his own, a lopsided grin on his face. "Maybe… hope not," he sang softly.

Silver eyes stared into pools of shimmering, vibrant emerald; intense and soft at the same time. Gently, Levi took Eren's face into his hands and pulled him close. His touch sent pleasant chills down Eren's spine. "God, you're too adorable," he murmured and pulled Eren in. Levi kissed him sweetly and slowly. Eren drank in his scent and ran his fingers down Levi's spine as he melted against the shorter teen. Eventually, Levi shifted a bit and rose until he leaned over Eren. Pale hands found Eren's shoulders and for a moment, it seemed like Levi was going to push him down and go further.

The raven-haired teen broke away from Eren. "Let's not get up. Except for brushing our teeth. That would be nice." Eren laughed. It was a tempting thought, but his stomach rumbled in protest. Levi shook his head, a bemused look in his eyes. "Never mind. Let's go before Mikasa thinks I'm stealing your virginity or some shit like that."

Eren snorted in disbelief and embarrassment. As Levi tried to rise, Eren grabbed his wrist and tugged him back down. He pecked Levi's nose and then ghosted his mouth over Levi's. For a few minutes, it was little more than the leisurely roll of their lips. It last until Mikasa yelled for them again and they broke away with a silly grin on Eren's face and a faintly pleased look on Levi's.

When they emerged downstairs, Mikasa must have known they would take a while, as she was finishing up cooking when they entered the kitchen. Armin glanced up over his book and raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk on his face. "Have fun?"

Eren stuck his tongue out and grabbed a glass of his own. "Levi… what do you want?" Levi shrugged, "Orange juice is fine."

After a minute or two, the four teens were seated around the table and digging into Mikasa's cooking, which consisted of what seemed to be a bottomless pile of small pancakes. It amused Eren to watch as Levi carefully stacked the pancakes up and delicately drizzled corn syrup on them. The look of concentration on the pale teen's face made it hard to avoid laughing. Eren swiped a pancake from Levi's plate and grinned cheekily at the raven-haired teen. Levi poked Eren in the side as retaliation, which made the taller teen squeak in surprise and drop his fork with a clatter.

The sound drew both Mikasa and Armin's heads up. "Having fun over there?" Mikasa inquired.

Eren made a face at her, "'Course." Gray-blue eyes disappeared behind her upper eyelids, but the corners of her mouth were turned upwards ever so slightly.

Armin set his book aside and rose. "Hey Mikasa, I'm going out for a bit."

"Why?" she teased, "You have a hot date?"

The blonde teen flushed from his neck up. "Maybe I do."

"Smooth…" Eren rasped quietly, "Have fun."

"I will," Armin said with a grin as he rinsed his plate off, set it in the dishwasher, and darted upstairs.

Mikasa eyed Eren and Levi. "I'm guessing you two are going out too?"

"Yes, we are," Levi said. Eren glanced at the inky-haired teen in mild surprise, but nodded anyways.

"Good. I've got practice in a few hours if you want to come and watch. Most of the guys are relatively decent."

Eren teasingly wrinkled his nose, "Too hot… to go out!"

"That's because you spend all day inside!" she sniped back good-naturedly.

"What are you practicing for?" Levi asked.

"It's a little baseball team we slapped together. Co-ed. One of the high school's gym teachers coaches it." Levi nodded. The rest of breakfast passed in a comfortable silence along with the quiet clink of forks on porcelain plates.

* * *

Armin peered around the surroundings of Smooth Ice, anxious.  _I shouldn't have shown up so early. I should have waited to come closer to the meeting time. Ugh, that was a stupid move_. He paced around anxiously, unable to stand still. Time passed unbearably slowly as ten o'clock neared. Armin found himself nervously glancing around. He glanced at his watch again:  **9:58**.  _Did something happen?_

A hand settled onto his shoulder. "Hey," Jean whispered into his ear.

The blonde teen shot up and let out a particularly shrill shriek. Heads turn towards them. Armin's face burned red with embarrassment and he turned to Jean. "Oh my God, don't do that!" he cried quietly as he punched Jean in the arm.

The ashen-haired teen only smirked in his arrogant way and slid his arm around Armin's shoulders. "Sorry, I just couldn't resist." Armin shook his head and smiled. It was too hard to stay upset with Jean. "I'll buy you a smoothie to apologize."

"Bribing isn't necessary, but sure."

Jean grabbed Armin's wrist and tugged the blonde into the shop. Inside, it was freezing. The floors were made of darkly stained wood while the walls were painted in a light, frosty blue color, like ice. Giant stickers of snowflakes dotted the walls, along with pictures of snow-capped mountains and images of some of the smoothie flavors. Most of the people inside were older teens, some of which Armin recognized from school. They appeared not to notice him or Jean, which was fine. The eyes would have made him nervous.

"Do you know what you want?" Jean mumbled quietly. His fingers brushed the back of Armin's hand. Suddenly bold, Armin took Jean's hand in his own and laced his fingers between Jean's. The taller teen glanced down at him, surprise in his eyes and a faint blush on his cheeks. Despite that, he smiled and let his hand remain there. "Chocolate's good."

Jean slid a few crumpled bills across the counter and the cashier passed back two plastic cups, one brown and one blue. They left the shop to a cheery goodbye from the cashier and the jingle of bells. Armin sipped on his chocolate smoothie and eyed their hands as Jean led him along.  _How long did I dream for this? How many times have I imagined this?_  He grinned and tightened his grip on Jean's hand as they strolled down the clustered streets.

They did a lot of window shopping. Armin couldn't help but peer into the window of an antique's shop, fascinated by the odd knickknacks that littered the displays. It was amazing, the things that he had seen, simply from the display case: a samurai sword with a delicate hilt shaped like a dragon's head; a plethora of brass, silver, and gold pocket watches with a variety of sizes and designs; miniatures of places and landmarks like Stonehenge and Big Ben.

After Armin managed to tear himself away from there, they poked around in a couple of shops that lined the streets. Some were filled with people – teenagers mostly – and neither boy felt like ducking into them if it meant being packed in a small space with one to two dozen other teenagers. The ones they did go into, they goofed off more than anything.

In Pandora's Box, Jean had put a bra on over his shirt, which had drawn hysterical giggles from Armin. While in a small pet shop dubbed Roger's Rabbits, Armin had pretended a stuffed python was strangling him. Inside of Records and Rhythms, Jean tentatively strummed a guitar and then watched as Armin played "Hot Cross Buns" on the violin. Eren had attempted to teach him how to play at one point, but Armin, despite being a genius with everything else, was most certainly not gifted when it came to musical instruments.

Occasionally, Jean would lean over and peck Armin on his temple or run his fingers across Armin's knuckles. The gentle, almost loving movements made Armin grin with elation. Eventually, they ended up inside of a bookstore. Armin breathed in the scent of pages both musty and new. He grinned and tugged Jean around the store.

He wasn't looking for anything to buy, but he ended up with two books anyways. One was on Julius Caesar and his rule over Rome. The other encompassed the history of Egypt and highlighted numerous pharaohs throughout the ages. Jean didn't buy anything. Instead, he listened to Armin chatter about Julius Caesar.

When they left the bookstore, Jean took Armin's arm and pulled him over beside the display case. He looked vaguely nervous, but the confident aura was still intact for the most part. "Hold on," Jean murmured. The taller teen cupped Armin's face. For a moment, they simply stared into each other's eyes, sapphire on amber. "You're adorable."

"Then kiss me, you idiot."

Jean leaned forwards as Armin rose up to close some of the gap. They bumped noses the first time. The second time was a success. With soft lips and gentle hands, Jean held Armin close and kissed him slowly. It was so much slower and far less frantic than the first one. For that, Armin was grateful.

His bag hit the ground with a thump. His hand, newly freed, tangled itself into Jean's undercut and lightly tugged on the dark locks. Breathless, dizzy, and too happy to care, Armin pressed up against Jean. Teeth found Armin's lip and gently worried it for a moment.

"Jean Kirstein! What the  _fuck_  do you think you're doing?!"

Jean jerked away so fast that he nearly fell onto the ground. Armin watched in confusion as the taller teen glanced up. He wondered as his face paled and his body started to shake. He watched as Jean's mouth moved, yet no words came out. He watched as a woman who looked similar to Jean stormed over, her face a mask of raw fury.  _Oh shit._

* * *

The day was glorious. Eren couldn't keep the grin off his face. Elation and confidence filled his veins instead of fear and anxiety. He was  _free_ , even if it was only for a day. A laugh slipped out of Eren's mouth as he swung their hands back and forth while they meandered back to Levi's house. The raven-haired teen glanced at him, his eyes questioning and bemused, which betrayed his otherwise blank face. Levi leaned close until his lips were a hair's breadth from his jaw. "What's so funny?"

Eren shook his head and swung their hands again. "Everything," he said simply. He saw Levi rolled his eyes in a teasing way.

It took ten more minutes to arrive at Levi's doorstep, most of which was spent in a comfortable silence. On quiet feet, they headed upstairs and into Levi's room. "Dad's not home," Levi tacked on when he shut the door to his room behind them. Eren grinned.  _He seems to be getting along with his dad now. That's good. For both of them._  The fact that Levi's relationship with his father could be repaired made Eren a little bitter, but he had long since accepted his situation.  _After all, it's my fault_.

A hand settled on either hip. Emerald eyes roamed down and met inquisitive silver ones. "Thinking about something?" Levi said. He brushed his thumbs across Eren's hipbones in a distracting manner. Eren was almost positive that was what Levi intended. "Little bit," he murmured back.

"Want a distraction?" Levi's voice dropped down into a low tone, smooth as silk and unbearably alluring. The chestnut-haired boy leaned down a little and pressed their foreheads together.

"Do… Do your worst."

Levi shot him a wicked grin, one that made Eren's knees go weak and sent his heart off to a frantic tempo. Somehow, he managed to keep himself upright and keep his gaze steady though. Levi's hand snaked up to the back of his neck and pulled him down until their lips almost touched. "You really shouldn't allow me that."

Levi crushed their mouths together before Eren could even form a thought, much less spit one out. All he could think of was the taste of mint on Levi's tongue as it slid along his. About the way Levi caught his tongue between gentle teeth. About the way Levi wasn't afraid to explore Eren's mouth in its entirety. His hands slid away from Eren's hips: one went up between his shoulder blades while the other went down to roam over his ass.

A quiet groan slipped out of Eren and Levi smirked against his lips. Dimly, Eren felt as Levi slowly edged them back until Eren's knees hit Levi's bed. The raven-haired teen pressed him down onto the soft mattress and leaned against him. Levi nipped Eren's lip one last time before he latched onto Eren's jaw. Eren shuddered as Levi's fingers slipped under his shirt and skimmed his abdomen.

Warmth pooled in his stomach as he pulled Levi closer and gasped into the other's ear. The fingers on his stomach ran in slow, light patterns. Levi gradually kissed and nipped his way down Eren's jaw and neckline until his mouth found a place familiar to both of them, where a faint mark resided. The fingers inched a little higher as Levi teasingly lapped at the patch of skin for a moment before he bit down on it.

Eren tensed up for a moment as fear shot through his chest.  _What if Dad sees it?_  But Levi's action was tender and his teeth did little more than lightly nibble at the skin. Everything he did happened with painstaking care, as if he knew the fears Eren would never,  _ever,_  voice. At that realization, Eren relaxed again and dropped his head back, giving Levi better access.

Levi pulled back slightly and made his way back up to Eren's face. His hands came up and cupped flushed, tan cheeks. The older teen was flushed too, with a faint dusting of pink on his pale cheeks. His hair was mussed from having Eren's hands running their way through cashmere locks at some point. Eren stared into Levi's brilliant silver eyes, hazed with longing and something more.

For a moment, all they did was stay there and stare into each other's eyes as they gasped quietly. Levi leaned forward and kissed Eren, once on his forehead, once on each cheek, once on his nose, and finally, once on his lips. "God," he whispered, "You're amazing."

Eren smiled and let one hand slip down to Levi's cheek. He ran his thumb along Levi's cheekbone. "You… too."

* * *

Any confidence that Jean had felt during the date instantly evaporated. He felt himself wilt back against the wall as shock and fear paralyzed him. He shrank back even further until the rough bricks dug into his back. Jean watched, wide-eyed, as his mother stormed closer, her honey eyes ablaze with fury. She stopped a foot or so away and glared at him, her lips pulled back in a vicious snarl. " _What. The. Hell?_ " she hissed. "What are you doing with that… with that  _thing_?"

Jean's mouth opened and closed a few times. Sentences unable to form. Syllables couldn't even pass through his lips. He could only stare at his mother in undiluted horror as his heart hammered in his chest and thoughts slammed through his mind.  _Why is she here? What's she going to do? Say something back. Say something back. Say something,_ anything _! Why can't I get angry? Why can't I fight back?_

Deep down, he knew. It was because he loved his mother too much, no matter how harsh she could be. It was because his biggest secret had been thrown into the light without any delicacy. Any anger he felt was directed at himself, not her. Jean felt sick, like he was about to vomit. He couldn't get enough air through his unwilling lungs. Instead, he trembled with panic towards his mother and anger at himself. His mother narrowed her eyes.

"Tell me Jean," she growled. "What was going on?"

 _Say something! Fight back! Tell her the truth!_  "I-I-I…" he managed to choke out. "We… I…"  _I fucked up. I shouldn't have done this. I should have done what I originally planned._ He felt numb, so numb. He couldn't think, couldn't feel. Everything had spiraled out of control and he couldn't keep it intact. The numbness spread throughout him; seeping from his heart to incase his entire being.  _I don't want to feel this way._

Armin stepped forward, his soft-planed face set like granite. "We were exercising our rights and pursuing happiness," the blonde teen snapped at her. "Last time I checked, you can't say who I can and can't kiss or love, so  _back the hell off_ , bitch."

Jean's mom turned on Armin, her eyes bright with fury. "Hell no!" she snarled back. "He's  _my_  son and I didn't raise him to be some…some sick  _freak_!"

Armin's hand sliced through the air and his mother's head snapped to the side. The sound of flesh smacking flesh took a moment to register in Jean's numb mind. "You disgust me," Armin said softly as he shook his head. Slim fingers wrapped around Jean's wrist and tugged him up. "Come on," Armin whispered to him, "Let's get out of here." Still numb, Jean stumbled after Armin, unsure of what they were going to do or where they were going to do.

"That's right!" his mother screamed after them. "Don't you  _dare_  come back! You're no son of mine!" The words slammed into the glassy barrier of numbness and it fell away into pieces. Something inside of him snapped. He was left open and exposed, with nothing left to hide behind. The ashen-haired teen sniffed as Armin pulled him away.

He cried when Armin finally pulled him close and held him in a tender embrace as he whispered quietly into his ear. Only one thought ran through his mind as Jean finally let his tears of frustration, anger, and anguish fall.  _I made the right choice. Happiness is always the right choice. Armin is the right choice…_  It took him a moment to realize what had snapped: the chains that had bound him so tightly to his mother. The same ones that had led him to things he wasn't proud of.  _Free. I'm free._

* * *

Eren walked towards his house, a jubilant smile on his face. The memory of Levi was fresh on his mind and the taste of mint still lingered in his mouth. The spots where Levi's fingers had roamed felt alive with a slight, pleasant burn like the first few minutes of sunbathing after a chilly night. Everything about the day was brilliant. The sun seemed to shine a little brighter, the grass seemed a little greener, and his heart seemed a little lighter.  _I could get used to this._  He glanced down at the CD that Levi had given him before he had left.

_Levi held out a CD, blank except for one word written in elegant black script, "Eren." Eren tilted his head to the side and tentatively took it from Levi. "Sorry," the raven-haired teen mumbled. He rubbed his undercut with one hand, looking faintly awkward. "I would have given you this sooner, but I just finished recording it yesterday and I forgot it. I… I hope you like it."_

_Eren grinned and wrapped Levi up in a tight hug. "… I'm sure I will…" he whispered as he peppered Levi's face with light pecks._

Eren sighed happily and turned the corner. He stopped in his tracks. There, sitting in his driveway, was a sleek, black car that was all too familiar.  _Dad's home_. The smile fled from his face. The smiles were for Levi and the Arlert family.  _Happiness doesn't belong in this house._  His fingers clenched on the CD case as he started to walk again. His steps were slower. They were the polar opposite of his heart, which thundered along in his chest.

The emerald-eyed boy pulled his phone out and glanced at the time:  **7:15**.  _Dad's probably wasted. God, I hope he is._  He arrived at his door far too soon for his tastes. Tentatively, he pushed the door open and shut it behind him. Once the door was shut, Eren froze in place so he could listen. Faint snores rumbled through the house from somewhere on the first floor, probably in the living room.

Eren breathed a sigh of relief and crept up the stairs in his carefully structured pattern. He reached the top and ducked into his room with no incidents. The CD ended up on his desk to be listened to later at night, when he was certain his father was asleep. Eren flopped down onto his bed and hugged a pillow to his chest.

After a few minutes, he picked up the book on his nightstand and stared at the pages in an attempt to be productive. It was hard though, with the memory of Levi's lips and fingers. The way his scent lingered on Eren's clothes didn't help either. It made it too easy to imagine that Levi was beside him. The thoughts were so distracting that he missed the footsteps until his door flew open. Eren shot upright and stared at his father, emerald eyes wide.

Grisha swayed in the doorway, eyes unfocused and hair messy. "You," his father muttered, drunk, but still capable of speech. Probably due to the fact that his words were slow and he carefully enunciated each syllable. "Are… useless. Absoluly  _useless_. Pa… Pathetic. Broken is what… what you are. Shouldn't even be… olive. Alive. Shoulda died with your mom. Saved me the trouble. But no," Grisha's voice dropped into a feral hiss. "No, I had to be stuck with a… a shit like you!"

Eren stared back at his father, unsure of what to do. Fear tightened his stomach and paralyzed him, but something else stirred in his stomach. It was the same thing he had felt that morning, something he couldn't quite place. The more he focused on it, the more he shook. Emerald eyes narrowed as he glared at his father. "Not… not pathetic," Eren rasped back as the feeling burned violently in his chest.

Grisha's eyes narrowed too and he glared at Eren. "Oh really?" His hand shot out and he snatched up a fistful of chestnut strands. Eren's head was wrenched back and a cry escaped him. "Poor, poor, piti… pitiful Eren," Grisha crooned at him with disgust thick in his voice.

"You runty little fuck… Damn freak… thas what you are. Won't even fight back." The sneer his father shot at him was cruel. Beady brown eyes glared down at him, filled with drunken hatred. "God, you're path...etic. You like this?" Another rough tug jerked his head back. Eren ground his teeth together and rose up so that it didn't feel like his roots weren't about to be ripped out. "What?" his father drawled in a voice full of contempt, "Nothin to say?"

His father shoved Eren back and let go. Eren's head hit the wall and he winced, but didn't cry out. "Oh, tryin to be a tough lil' boy? How pitiful." his father sneered. When Eren didn't respond, his father snorted. "It's like… like fucking talkin to a rock. The intelligent of one too..." Eren bit his tongue to keep the words inside his throat.  _Shut up. Say something back. Defend yourself. Say something_.

"Absoluly pointless…" His father slowly turned around and tottered out of the room with uneven strides. Eren listened to the heavy thuds of his father's feet as he drunkenly stomped downstairs. He listened to the footsteps stopped and the faint clink of bottles. Within a few minutes, snores reached him, loud and rumbling.

Eren pulled his knees back to his chest and pressed his forehead into the fabric clad flesh. The feelings still burned through his veins. The one he couldn't quite name was the strongest. It was the one that made him want to punch a wall. It was the one that made him want to lash out at someone,  _anyone_. It was the one that demanded retribution. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

As Eren sat there, a name finally came to him. Angry. That was what he was. Angry and bitter. As soon as he realized it, the anger seeped away and left him empty. Eren sighed and fell onto his side. It was a long time before he fell asleep that night.

* * *

Emerald eyes snapped open wide, already alert. Eren's heart slammed against his ribcage. The blood in his veins was frozen with fear. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, and couldn't think. Even though his eyes were open, he could still see his father move through his room. He could still feel the fingers wrap around his neck  _and tighten until he couldn't get any air through his windpipe. Frantically, Eren slapped at the floor in a desperate search for something that he could utilize. Everything was out of reach. The fingers tightened even more and his father stared down at him with a sadistic smile on his face. Black crept in on the edges of Eren's vision and threatened to swallow him whole._

Eren lurched up so violently that he nearly fell out of his bed. He shifted back to the middle, crossed his legs, and folded over at the waist so he could bury his head into the sheets. So he could stifle his pathetic sobs and frantic gasps. Strands of damp, brown hair clung to his face while his clothes were thoroughly drenched in sweat. Tears bit at his eyes and a primal sense of terror filled him. He wanted, no, he  _needed_  to get out or he needed something to distract himself with.

Mind hazed with panic, the chestnut-haired teen rolled of his bed and stood on trembling legs. He stumbled over to his desk, blind in the dark. Fumbling fingers found the CD case and pried it open. Within a minute, Eren's computer was running and the CD was in the player. Eren hit the first song and set his head on the cool wood of the desk. Tremors wracked his entire body and he still couldn't breathe quite right. In that moment, the peace he had felt earlier in the day felt so far off, an unattainable dream. It was a dream that was so close, it was almost real, but it was ripped out from underneath him every time he thought it was finally his to keep.

The songs were hushed and calming as they played and wrapped him up in a melody of piano notes. Levi's piano playing, no doubt. Eren couldn't recognize many pieces, but each was beautifully played, perfect even. With the help of Levi's piano, the trembling subsided and his tears slowly dried. Soon, his heart rate fell back to a normal tempo. He felt somewhat at ease.

Another song came on. It began with a few seconds of silence before the notes swam through the air, hushed and short. The sound was clear and crisp. Eren didn't recognize the tune, nor did it sound like classical music. He listened carefully and ran over the notes in his mind. The voice that wove itself in along with it took him by surprise.

" _So goodnight moon and goodnight you_  
 _When you're all that I think about_  
 _All that I dream about_  
 _How'd I ever breathe without_  
 _A goodnight kiss from goodnight you."_

Eren's breaths stopped again in shock. Levi's voice was tender and sweet, but audible over the piano. Emotions threaded their way through his voice, ones that he wouldn't display on his face. Eren could pick out happiness, serenity, affection, sadness, and more in the honeyed tones that made up Levi's voice.

The chestnut-haired boy listened, enamored by Levi's voice and the way it faded in and out, as if Levi had continuously forgotten and realized that singing along to the song. Eren was almost afraid to breathe, as if that would break the spell that Levi's voice had cast upon him. A spell of peace and love; one that made everything all right.

" _Cause I've been trying way too long_  
 _To try and be the perfect song_  
 _When our hearts are heavy burdens_  
 _We shouldn't have to bear alone._

_So goodnight you and goodnight moon_  
 _When you're all that I think about_  
 _All that I dream about_  
 _How'd I ever breath without_  
 _A goodnight kiss from goodnight you."_

Fresh tears burned at Eren's eyes and he swallowed hard.  _"We shouldn't have to bear alone."_  The line hit him hard. It nagged at him and pulled on him.  _Maybe I shouldn't have to deal with this… with Dad alone. Maybe I should tell Armin or Levi or Gramps. Someone. Anyone._  Eren shook his head violently to clear the thoughts.  _No. I can't. They can't know. It wouldn't make a difference. I can last four more years. Four more years of hell. At least I have my friends. At least I have Levi._

" _And there you were_  
 _I saw my Romeo come graceful down the stairs_  
 _It's hard to miss the way his eyes light up the room and still the air."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long. Blame softball and life. Many thanks to my lovely beta who slogged her way through this so you lovelies could read it. I used "Goodnight Moon" by Go Radio. There are several piano versions, but go to the link below for both only the piano AND a score sheet. Have a wonderful day/night/existence!  
> https://www.jellynote.com/en/sheet-music-tabs/go-radio/goodnight-moon/5076da84d2235a7374cdc37c#tabs:%23score_A


	16. Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeey loads of violence and crap.

"Do you mind if Jean stays here for a while?" Armin glanced back at Jean, who was staring down the table. He didn't seem to register their voices, or that they were talking about him.

Gramps nodded. "Of course! He can stay here as long as he needs to. It's an awful thing, what his mother did; to not accept your own child." Gramps shook his head and scratched his chin through his beard.

"Thank you, Mr. Arlert," Jean mumbled softly.

"No need to thank me," Gramps said with a wave of his hand. "I'm only doing what's right. And please, call me Gramps. Everyone else does. Armin, why don't you go get Jean settled upstairs?"

Armin and Jean rose. Together, they walked up the steps and into Armin's room. The shorter teen didn't even bother to grab an extra mattress and a comforter. Instead, he sat on his bed and patted the spot beside him. "Sit here, Jean." The ashen-haired teen slowly made his way over. It seemed like all the life had been sucked right out of him. As soon as Jean sat down, Armin wrapped his arms around him and pulled him as close as possible. Jean's head settled on his shoulder. They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Jean broke it first.

"Mom… I never thought… I never thought she'd do that. After Dad died we grew closer." Jean sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I know it's stupid, but she was like a best friend… I just… I can't believe she did that… She treated me like a freak…" Armin tightened his hold on Jean as the taller teen shuddered.

Something wet dripped onto Armin's shirt. Another droplet joined it. The blonde male rubbed Jean's back as he started to cry. "I… I tried  _so_  hard to change. I tried to be what she wanted! So why… why couldn't she just accept me?"

"I don't know," Armin murmured. "Maybe she was just surprised. Maybe she didn't know what to do, so she tried to treat you like a stranger. Maybe it hurt her as much as it hurt you." It was as if Armin's words had broken a dam. Jean's arms came up to clutch at Armin's shirt. Sobs wracked his larger frame. Several times, Jean tried to say something, but his words were incoherent. Armin held him close and murmured reassuring things to him.

"It's alright. You tried to hide yourself for her sake. You tried to be a good son. Even if she doesn't think you're perfect, you are. Just think, one day she'll see. They'll all see how amazing you are as yourself, not a fake you." Armin couldn't help but feel upset about the whole situation. Things like Jean's case just went to show how a person could have a parent or parents who loved their child until they broke a specific image or misconception.

 _A child shouldn't be repressed and confined. They shouldn't be afraid to be who they are. They shouldn't live in fear of exposure. It's not their fault that they developed differently._ Armin sighed and tightened his grip on Jean. It took a while for Jean's sobs to taper off into sniffles and a little longer for them to disappear completely.

By the time Jean leaned away, Armin's shoulder was damp, but he didn't care. He met Jean's eyes, blue on amber, and held them. "Jean, don't let that weigh you down. If you do, you'll never be able to stand up straight again. Find the strength to walk on and forge a path of your own. Don't let the opinions of other's determine who you are and what you do."

Jean stared at Armin for a moment before he smirked and shook his head. "Armin… sometimes you astound me."

A broad grin flashed across the blue-eyed boy's face. "Good, I aim to do so!" An hour later, they were seated on the floor, their backs against Armin's bed as they played video games. No thoughts of Jean's mother crossed their minds. With their shoulders touching and Armin's leg over Jean's, they sat there, distracted in a way that they both needed.

* * *

August 10th, the day of the Back to School Festival, found Eren and Levi on the streets. A broad grin covered Eren's face, relaxed and excited. Their interlocked hands swung between them in time to their steps. Levi's touch helped keep him calm. It was the first time they had ventured out into a truly crowded place – like the festival grounds – and displayed affection, no matter how small. Glares and stares occasionally found them, but Levi shot glares of his own back and the more hostile people avoided them.

Eren glanced around and took in the sights of the festival grounds. There was no theme to it, just a mishmash of cultures, colors, designs, and more. Tents, booths, and stands had been erected in neat lines with broad paths of grass between them. There was no organization to it.

A pastel blue-and-pink cotton candy stand had been set up right next to a yellow-and-red striped tent, similar to that of a circus tent, that sold medieval weapon replicas. Booths ranged from ones that sold food and trinkets to little games: scooping goldfish; shooting targets; dart throwing; a basketball shoot; apple bobbing; dunking booths; and trivia stands to name a few.

Performers wandered through the crowd in a variety of costumes. Several people strolled around on stilts, garbed in festive colors while their faces were covered in face paint, makeup, and glitter. A large group had gathered around several men and women that took fire batons and spun them, tossed them in the air, blew fire, and even swallowed it. A group of women were dressed up like exotic birds, with long and lustrous feathers that spanned the rainbow.

Everywhere, lights gleamed and lit up the festival grounds. Laughter, chatter, and more filled the air as the people celebrated the end of summer and the beginning of a new school year. The sun was still an hour or two away from setting. Eren knew exactly where he wanted to be when it did.

He nudged Levi's hip with his own and raised their hands to point. "Can we... go there?" his murmured, his voice just audible over the babel of the crowd. Levi's eyes followed their hands and he spotted the booth: a green stand with yellow lettering to shout out its name. On the back wall, hundreds of balloons littered a board. Stuffed animals and other little things surrounded the edges of the board.

"Well," Levi said as he changed directions to walk to the booth, "It's a good thing I'm a good shot." Eren's grin widened as they approached the booth. It was one of the booths where a person had to pay to get five darts. They would then throw the darts and try to pop a balloon. More balloons meant better prizes. Levi slid a few bills over to the booth operator and she slid two boxes back to him.

One went to Eren. He raised an eyebrow and glanced at Levi. "I'm a… horrible shot."

Levi waved his hand and let go of Eren's hand so they could throw. "It's a festival. No one gives a shit if you can hit a balloon or not. Just try." The chestnut-haired teen shook his head in amusement and aimed at the balloons. The first hit a barren patch on the board where a balloon had already been popped. The second hit a balloon, but the angle was bad, so the dart rebounded and hit the ground.

The third and fourth ended up in blank patches on the board. The final dart flew through the air in an arc. It hit a green balloon and popped it. Eren sighed, a smirk on his face.  _At least I managed to get one._  He took a pack of Skittles as a prize and stood back to watch Levi toss.

The short male stepped forward and raised his first dart. It hit a light blue balloon, popped it, and sank into the board. The next two hit a balloon each while Levi's fourth somehow managed to pop two. "Black magic," Eren murmured into his ear.

Levi snorted, "More like skill." He tossed his last dart, but it didn't hit a balloon. The point hit the back of one of Eren's darts that was still on the board. It made the other dart shake dangerously, but it remained on the board, even with the additional weight on it. Eren stared at the dart and then he glanced at Levi.

"Show off..." he muttered as he stared at the darts. White and black suddenly filled his vision, pulling him out of his thoughts. Eren blinked and leaned back so he could see what was in his face. A small monkey's face stared back at him. Its face was small and somewhat ovular, with fake black eyes that stared at him. White fur surrounded its tan head and went a little ways down its neck and onto its arms. The rest of the monkey was covered in glossy black fur, from its small, delicate paws to its long tail. It was a stuffed Capuchin monkey.

"Here," Levi said as he held the monkey out. "You're the monkey lover. Plus it reminded me of you: mischievous and cute."

 _He remembered…_ Eren flushed as he took the monkey. He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Levi's lips. "Thank you…" he whispered as he grabbed Levi's hand again and tucked the stuffed animal under his arm. Levi shrugged and let Eren tug him along as they wandered through the throngs of people.

They stopped for a few minutes to watch the fire performers. One woman with inky hair and bright green eyes sent a massive plume of fire into the air. Two men, identical twins, put on a mesmerizing performance. They took their batons, lit on both ends, and danced around with them, dragging the flames through the air in dangerously beautiful arcs. Another woman, this one with blonde hair, alternated between juggling various flaming objects and swallowing the fire. Eren couldn't help but wonder how she did it without burning her throat.

Once they left that, they found a young man with brown hair and a scruffy beard who was playing guitar. His guitar case sat beside him on the grass, lid open and a sizeable collection of bills and coins in the bottom. Eren and Levi both tossed in a few dollars apiece before they walked away.

They fed each other cotton candy, which turned their lips blue, much to Eren's amusement. When they grew tired, Levi found them a bench that was a small distance away from the crowd. They sat down, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder. Away from the crowd, seated in the shadows cast by the lights and stands, Eren felt like he was in a bubble, a little world where only he and Levi existed. Eren reached into his pocket and pulled out a few sticks. Levi glanced over and looked at him. "What are those?"

With a grin, Eren passed a few to Levi and pulled a lighter from his pocket. "Sparklers," he whispered. He lit Levi's first, then his and they held them up into the air. White and golden sparks cascaded down to the ground. Some swirled away, caught by the gentle wind. Eren spared a glance at Levi as their sparklers continued to burn. The golden light illuminated his thin, pale face. The light danced across his face and illuminated his eyes. He was beautiful.

Eren leaned over and kissed Levi's cheek, his lips feather-soft. When Eren pulled away, he saw a curl to Levi's lips and maybe, just maybe, his cheeks were a little redder than they had been moments ago. Their first sparklers died away and so they lit their next ones, blue and green for Eren and Levi respectively.

With each sparkler they burned, they exchanged kisses on the cheek, the nose, and on the mouth. They were chaste, but they were soft and warm. Those kisses made Eren grin like an idiot, which Levi told him several times, but Levi had a smile of his own. Happiness bubbled in Eren's chest. All of his tension, even his fear, was gone.

The thought only made him laugh, which prompted Levi to ask what he was laughing about. Eren couldn't put it into words. He didn't want to. He didn't want to ruin such a perfect moment. Eventually, the last of their sparklers fizzled out and left them without the dancing light and the showers of sparks. They rose once more in search of more things to do.

Levi spotted the photo booth first and tugged Eren towards it. The booth looked big enough to fit six or seven people inside. Various photo reels had been expanded and stretched across the outside except for a little black square to feed money in and select options. A thick blue curtain was stretched across the entrance. Levi slid a couple of dollars into the slot, tapped the screen a few times, and pulled the curtain back.

"After you," he said with a slight upwards quirk to his lips. Eren stepped in and Levi slipped in after him. The inside was a plain gray, with a bench on one side. The camera was visible across from the bench. They sat down on the bench, shoulder-to-shoulder, and waited.  _"Your picture will be taken in few moments."_ Eren somehow managed to broaden his grin as the countdown began. " _Five… four… three… two… one!"_

When the countdown began again, Levi threw his arm over Eren's shoulder and pulled him down to peck him on the cheek as the picture was captured. Eren turned to Levi and beamed at him, emerald eyes sparkling. He held the stuffed monkey by Levi's face and mimed kissing it for the next picture. "Oh," Levi said as Eren set the monkey between them, "The monkey gets a kiss, but I don't?"

The emerald-eyed boy smirked and waggled his eyebrows. He pulled Levi over and leaned close. "Best… for last…" he whispered. Gray-blue eyes held emerald ones, warm and gentle. Eren wasn't sure who closed the distance and he didn't really care. What mattered was the intoxicating mixture of lavender and cotton. Levi's lips were soft on his and slightly sticky from the cotton candy; the taste of artificial, blue sugar lingering.

One of Eren's arms wound around Levi's waist and held him closers. Distantly, he registered the sound of another picture being taken. Levi rose up a little and leaned over Eren. Soft ebony hair fell into Eren's face and onto his closed eyes. After a moment, Levi pulled away and ran his thumb along Eren's cheek. His face was blank but his eyes were bright and alive. A small smile tugged at Levi's lips. It was one of the ones that made Eren want to melt and set his heart on fire.

"Come on," Levi murmured, "Let's go get our pictures." With a red face and a blinding smile, Eren held Levi's hand as they grabbed the two strips of pictures, tucked them into their respective wallets, and wandered away. The sky was almost completely dark, with the sun about to set.

"Come on… I've got something… to show… you," Eren rasped with a slight grimace. His throat ached more today than usual.

Levi didn't fail to notice. "Lead the way. Where's your phone? You haven't been using it lately." Eren shrugged and patted his pocket, where his phone was tucked away. Lately, he had communicated mostly with his voice rather than his phone. He wanted to talk to Levi. He didn't want to constantly rely on written or typed messages. He wanted to have some sense of normalcy, even if things were far from normal in his life.

"Use it. Don't strain yourself. You don't have to hurt yourself to talk to me."

"I… wanna. My… my choice."  _Even if it does hurt, I want to talk to you. That's why I don't stop. Why I try to talk so much. I just ignore the pain for as long as possible. Too bad I can't say all of that like I want to._ Eren offered a soft, apologetic smile to Levi as he pulled him along.

As they walked, the crowd slowly grew thinner until they reached the end of the stalls and left the people behind. He walked straight to the forest, dark and empty. The further in they walked, the more the lights and voices faded until they were completely gone. The sounds of the forest took over: the hoot of owls, the rustle of leaves, the loud warble of cicadas, and the crunch of leaves and twigs beneath their feet.

They didn't speak as they walked. It took a few minutes of walking, but Eren finally spotted what he was looking for: the faint silver gleam that didn't stay in one place. A sound reached them after a moment, the quiet rush of waves on a sandy shore. Eren quickened their pace.

They broke through the trees and ended up on a stretch of grass that went on for about fifty feet before it changed into a shore of pale sand, white in the moonlight. Waves lapped at the shore, black in the darkness, but the tips of them were coated with silver from the moon. On the far side, there was a bonfire on the beach. Dark shapes milled around it, but they were too far away to hear or make any clear distinctions. On their side, a little dock jutted out into the water.

Excited, Eren let go of Levi's hand and broke into a sprint. His sandaled feet slapped the sand as he darted down to the dock. Laughter bubbled past his lips and his mouth was split open in a massive grin. He managed to slow down and stop before he reached the dock. Eren dropped his shirt on the oak boards, set the stuffed monkey on top, and emptied the pockets of his swimming trunks. He spared a glance back up.

Levi followed at a more leisurely pace, like a pale ghost drifting over the sand. The chestnut-haired boy turned back to the lake, took a few steps, and leapt into the air. Eren hit the water with his knees tucked to his chest and his eyes screwed shut.

Water closed over his head. Emerald eyes opened up as his feet settled on the sandy bottom. The moonlight barely penetrated the water, which left him blind. The water itself was comfortably warm. It would be a while before it started to cool. Only when his lungs started to burn did Eren kick his way to the surface.

On the dock, Levi stood with his shirt in hand as he carefully folded it. His pale, thin chest practically glowed in the moonlight. Every time he moved, the muscles in his abdomen and arms shifted under the pristine flesh. Emerald eyes raked over Levi as Eren floated. Finally, Levi set his shirt down, emptied his pockets, and turned to Eren. "Well," he said, "This explains why you wanted me to wear swimming trunks." Eren shrugged and smiled. He raised one dripping hand and curled his fingers, beckoning Levi forwards.

Levi smirked, started forwards, hit the edge of the dock, and leapt forwards. He looked like a professional diver, his body curved in a crescent with his arms stretched over his head. The raven-haired teen hit the black-and-silver water with a small splash and disappeared beneath the waves. Eren kicked out to where Levi had disappeared. Eren paddled around and waited for Levi to resurface. He couldn't see beneath the inky surface, so he was forced to wait.

A hand closed around Eren's foot and he shrieked in shock. His heart slammed through his chest as fear coursed through his veins. Levi broke the surface beside him. Black strands were plastered to his forehead. Rivulets of water ran down his face. A small, playful smirk turned his lips up, but it faded slightly when he saw Eren's face. "Eren... are you alright?"

Eren sucked down a breath and nodded, emerald eyes wide. "I-I'm... good," he forced out. He slapped a fragile, but hopefully believable smile onto his face. He wasn't okay. His stomach felt like a ball of ice. Tremors threatened to overtake his body. Things might have gotten easier when it came to not flinching or panicking around Levi, but when the raven-haired teen took Eren by surprise, he couldn't help it.

Silver eyes focused on Eren, concern visible in the lines of his moonlit face. "Are you sure?"

Eren took another breath and nodded. "Startled... that's all." A dubious look lingered on Levi's face. Eren tried to put on a more confident air as he swam a little further away.

Levi watched him for a moment before he disappeared underwater once more. Instead of popping up by Eren, he resurfaced in the same spot and pulled something out of the water. The thing in his hand was dark and shaped vaguely like a towel. It took a moment for Eren to realize what it was. "Levi!" he cried out in surprise. Levi's swimming trunks dangled in his fingers.

The raven-haired teen swam back over to the dock and tossed the trunks near their things. "What?" he called back. "No one's going to see me except for you. Besides, it's more than warm enough for skinny dipping. What about yours?"

Eren was infinitely thankful for the darkness, which masked his beet-red face. "I'm… I'm good," he rasped. Levi cocked his head to the side and swam a little closer to Eren. The chestnut-haired teen backpedaled in the water. As soon as he moved backwards, Levi slid into an easy breaststroke to chased Eren down.

He caught the taller teen after a moment. Eren twisted and turned in an attempt to get away, but Levi attacked his sides. Laughter filled the air as he tried to push Levi away. The smaller male slipped beneath the water, still tickling Eren. Beneath the water, Levi's fingers found the top of Eren's trunks and tugged them down, leaving Eren with nothing on. Somehow, Eren's face managed to burn even darker than before.

Levi resurfaced several yards away a moment later and Eren's trunks joined Levi's on the dock. The silver-eyed teen swam back over, a satisfied smirk on his face. "See? It's not that bad." Eren stuck his tongue out, sent a playful splash into Levi's face and swam away. The older teen growled, but there was a matching look in his eyes as he swam after Eren with a smooth breaststroke.

They raced each other around the lake, showing off their swimming skills. Splashing wars broke out several times. They teasingly dunked each other beneath the water occasionally. Eventually, they swam back to the dock and hauled themselves up so they could lie on their backs and look up at the stars.

Levi ran his thumb along the side of Eren's hand as they stared at the night sky. Hundreds of stars and galaxies peppered the canvas that was spread out before their wonder filled eyes. The half-moon dangled in the middle of it all, cold and alone. Neither of them spoke for a long time. The only sounds came from the lake and the surrounding forest.

"This is nice," Levi said softly. Eren hummed in agreement and sat up. Levi followed in suit. The taller teen turned to Levi and shifted until the toes of his left foot skimmed the warm water while his other was stretched out beside Levi. The other male scooted closed and pressed their foreheads together. It was hard to keep his eyes from straying along Levi's nude form, but Eren managed. He focused on Levi's eyes, barely visible among the shadows.

Eren couldn't smell the comforting scent of lavender and cotton beneath the typical lake smell, but it didn't bother him too much. Levi's hand was warm on his and his face was softened into a gentle expression. Eren draped his free hand over Levi's shoulder and pulled the smaller teen closer. Warm air ghosted over Eren's face.

Emerald eyes fluttered shut as he leaned closer and pressed their lips together. A hand came up and cupped Eren's cheek, gentle and warm. Levi's tongue slipped into Eren's mouth and twisted around his own. Tanned fingers curled themselves into midnight hair to pull the shorter teen even closer. He could still taste the blueberry flavoring of the cotton candy. He could smell the lake on Levi's still damp skin.

A soft sigh escape Eren as Levi bit his lip and his tongue wandered around Eren's mouth. Levi's hand left his. Fingers skimmed across Eren's chest, so light that it sent oddly pleasant chills up and down his spine. His breath hitched in his chest. As Levi's fingers slowly wandered lower, heat flooded Eren's face and groin.

The fingers stopped at his hip and Levi pulled away. Eren cracked his eyes open and stared at Levi. The other's expression was unreadable in the darkness. "I won't do anything until you're ready," he murmured quietly.

A tiny smile crept onto Eren's face. "Thank you…" he whispered. A small part of Eren wanted to keep going, to let Levi do whatever he wanted. The logical side of Eren won out though. As much as he wanted to touch Levi, to explore the rest of his body, he couldn't. He didn't want to be another teenager that had sex before marriage.

He pulled his arm from Levi's shoulders and held his hand up. The gesture was thankfully visible: his thumb, forefinger, and pinkie finger rose while his middle and ring stayed down, tucked into his palm. American Sign Language certainly had its benefits. Levi raised a pale hand and copied Eren's hand. "I love you too, Eren."

Eren's mouth dropped open in shock. "You… ASL? W-when...?"

"Petra, Zoe's half-sister, has been teaching me for the last few weeks" Levi said. Amusement coloring his voice. His silver eyes were doubtlessly dancing.

"Why…?" Eren whispered, too astonished to think clearly.

"Because of you."

* * *

**To Eren Jaeger:**  
It's too bad you couldn't spend the night tonight  
Sent: 11:31 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**From Eren Jaeger:**  
Yeah I know T.T maybe another night  
Received 11:33 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**To Eren Jaeger:**  
I hope so. Hey Eren, can you do something for me?  
Sent: 11:35 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**From Eren Jaeger:**  
Sure. What do you need?  
Received: 11:36 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**To Eren Jaeger:**  
Can you play the violin for me? Now?  
Sent 11:37 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**From Eren Jaeger:**  
… It's late. Dad's not home, but I don't know when he'll be back  
Received: 11:39 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**To Eren Jaeger:**  
Would he be mad if you were playing?  
Sent: 11:40 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**From Eren Jaeger:**  
Yes. No. I don't know. It depends  
Received: 11:42 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**To Eren Jaeger:**  
On?  
Sent: 11:42 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**From Eren Jaeger:**  
Just various things  
Received: 11:43 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**To Eren Jaeger:**  
When do you think he'll be back?  
Sent: 11:44 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

**From Eren Jaeger:**  
Well… If he's been out for this long, he probably won't be back for another hour or two. I'll play. Give me a moment.  
Received: 11:47 PM, August 10 **th** **, 2013**

A moment later, Levi's phone buzzed with an incoming Skype call. Levi accepted it and waited for the screen to load. The screen brightened and Eren appeared. He moved away, over to something that might have been his bed. A thought struck Levi:  _I've never seen his room. I've never been over to his house._  Eren crouched down beside it and fiddled around for a moment.

While he did so, Levi glanced around at what he could see of Eren's room. A door was visible off to Eren's right. A window was set into the wall above Eren's head, but the green curtains were drawn across it. A dresser sat in the corner of the room, with a stack of books on top. Eren turned back around, a violin in one hand and a bow in the other. Levi set his phone down on his desk, propped up on a Kleenex box, and settled his head onto his arms.

He watched Eren pluck at the strings on his violin, tease out a few notes, and adjust it as needed. A few minutes passed before Eren looked up. He glanced around, almost nervously, before he turned his head to face the phone – and Levi. " _Any… requests?"_ Eren rasped.

"No. Play what you want." Eren smiled and tucked the violin beneath his chin. Brilliant green eyes slipped shut as Eren relaxed. His face looked so peaceful that he could have been sleeping. The bow came up to rest on the strings. The chestnut-haired teen took a slow, deep breath and started to play.

It started out low and slow – a single, clear note. Eren's fingers twitched and the note changed. It steadily climbed higher and the time between note changes shortened. He reached the top of the scale and paused for two beats. When the melody came back, it was upbeat and quick. Eren's fingers fluttered around as he drew out note after note.

It was a song of happiness, and good time. It also wasn't one that Levi recognized. Levi spotted a smile on Eren's face. The boy slowly rocked from side to side as he immersed himself in the song. A note warbled through the speakers of Levi's phone that lasted four beats before the note jumped higher. The bow flew across the strings and Eren's fingers were in constant motion.

The song wouldn't have sounded out of place at an upbeat party or during a fast, energetic dance. It was all too easy to imagine Eren bouncing around to the beat of the song, his chestnut hair wild and his emerald eyes bright. As Levi watched Eren and traced his body with silver eyes a smile flickered to life on his face.

Suddenly, Eren froze, cutting off the melody mid-note. His eyes widened and his head snapped towards the door. It flew open and a man stepped into the room. He was tall, around six feet, with dark brown hair that fell to his shoulders and glasses that hid his eyes. He wore a dark green shirt and jeans, as if he had gone somewhere casual. His frame was stockier ad his face was broader, but there was no denying the resemblance between the two. _Eren's father._

The man's face was twisted into an expression of anger. A deep scowl pulled his mouth down. He stepped into the room. His eyes remained locked on Eren. They didn't even register the phone.  _"I thought I told you not to play after dark,"_  he spat. He made his way across the room with jerky movements. Levi couldn't tell if it was because Eren's father was drunk or because of simple lag.

Either way, it was clear that it wasn't a good situation. The body language of Eren's father was aggressive. It was familiar in a way that tickled on the edge of Levi's memory. The realization hit him after a moment: the body language was familiar because he'd seen it before. The balled fists, the clenched teeth, the reddish tint to the face, and the tautness in the man's muscles were things he had seen before. They were things that he had last seen in Sioux Falls. Things that he had last seen from Brutus Ride, one of his many "parents".

Shock stole Levi's voice as he stared at Eren. His bow and violin slipped from his fingers and hit the floor with a heavy thud. Eren's expression was one of pure horror.  _"How many times do I have to tell you to get it through your thick fucking skull?"_  his father snarled as he lurched his way over to Eren.

There was a thump and a scraping sound. Eren's father glared down at his feet, looked up, and raised his hand. He jabbed a finger into his son's chest, hard enough that Eren took a step back.  _"You're a fucking pussy"_  he spat.  _"A deadbeat, good-for-nothing, piece of shit is what you are."_  The hand at Eren's chest grabbed his shoulder.

Eren's father pulled his other arm back and slammed it into Eren's stomach. Eren doubled over and sank to the ground. He disappeared from sight.

Levi shot of his desk chair so fast that it tipped over and clattered to the floor behind them. His silver eyes were wide, his mouth open in shock. "Eren!" His voice was masked by the shouts from Eren's father. The words that the man screamed at his son were jumbled and indistinct. His face was a mask of pure, drunk rage. He seemed hell-bent on making Eren the release for all of his frustrations.

Eren's father pulled his leg up and slammed his foot down towards the ground. It connected with something with a heavy thud. The man's foot rose and fell several more times. Six blows, seven. On the eighth, a soft sob escaped Eren. It slammed into Levi like a freight train. Shock, fear, and guilt warred in his stomach.  _I've got to do something! Anything! Oh God, I don't know where he lives._

As Eren's father raised his foot again, anger surged through Levi. "Stop!" he shouted, " _Eren!_ " Neither of the brunettes heard him. Eren's father didn't falter with his shouts and his kicks. Levi could only watch, helpless, as Eren's father delivered furious blows to a form he couldn't see. Levi could only listen, useless, to Eren as he sobbed and begged, loud enough that it had to hurt him.

 _"Stop… Dad! Please… Da-"_  Eren's father ignored the pleas as he kicked Eren again. Then he squatted down until only the crown of his head was visible in the screen. Everything was quiet except for the gasps and sobs. It would have been the perfect time to say something, to scream at the older man to stop.

Levi couldn't. His mind was numb with shock. His throat wouldn't cooperate. His tongue felt like lead in his mouth. He couldn't pull his eyes away from the screen of his phone. He was powerless to do anything: to stop Eren's father, to cry for help, and to save Eren. He was at the mercy of his father, of one who was supposed to love and nurture him, not beat him.

Eren's father pulled his arm back above his head.  _"You little freak. Do you think you're worth something? Do you actually think anyone cares? No one gives a damn about a piece of shit like you. You don't have a hope. You're nothing, absolutely nothing. Just a piece of fucking trash."_

A tan hand came into view, shaking like a leaf. Eren's father drove his fist around the hand, the movement jerky with lag. A sickening thud came through the speaker. Another sob erupted into the air.  _"D-Dad..."_ Eren managed to choke out as his father pulled his fist away.  _"Plea... please... s-stop..."_

His father sneered mockingly. Levi watched, helpless, as Eren's father punched him again and again. All he could do was listen to the sounds of impact, to Eren's whimpers, to Eren's cracked voice as he plead in his broken and disjointed way of speech, and to his father's growled comments.

It seemed like hours had passed by the time Eren's father rose, his face hard. The knuckles on his right hand were spotted with blood. Eren's father spat on Eren and stalked out of the room. He slammed the door shut behind him. Levi stared blankly at the screen of his phone. His throat hurt. How much had he screamed without realizing? Horrified shock had stolen his breath.

 _I can't go to him. I don't know where he lives._  Levi hit the floor with a thump, his eyes still frozen at the point where the phone had been.  _Oh God... Eren. How long... how long has that been going on? How did I not see it? I know all the signs! I've seen it! I've had it happen! So why didn't I see it? Because I didn't want to. I wanted to think that something like that could never happen to Eren. I wanted to think that he was safe from things like that. I didn't want to see the signs of abuse. I didn't want to see any of it._

Guilt clawed at his chest and threatened to drown him. Levi sat there, numb and horrified.  _How much pain is he in? His throat... where he was hit... So many times..._

A clatter brought Levi's head up. Slowly, he rose until he could see the top of his desk and his phone. Eren stared out from the screen. His face was red and puffy. His cheek looked like it was swelling. His eyes were red-rimmed and watery. Blood leaked from the corner of his mouth"Eren..." The chestnut-haired boy sniffed and wiped his eyes. A violent shudder ran through his body.

Levi snagged his phone and sank back to the floor, the phone cradled in his hands. "Eren..." he whispered again, voice rough, "How long as that been going on?"

Eren slowly shifted around for a moment before he raised his hands and started to sign. Another tear trickled down his swollen face as he did so.  _"Years. He's been doing it for years."_  A low moan escaped Eren and he pressed one hand to his face.

 _Years..._  Levi stared at Eren, his eyes wide.  _He's been dealing with that for years. How?_  "Why haven't you told anyone?" he whispered. "Why haven't you left? Why do you let him keep beating you?"

Eren's hand froze on his face. Slowly, it fell down. The young teen stared at Levi, his eyes wide and confused.  _"I..."_  Eren whispered. A grimace flashed across his face and he pressed his hand to his throat. After a moment, Eren pulled it away.  _"I deserve it. It's my fault. My fault. I deserve every hit, every curse, and every insult,"_  he signed, slow enough that Levi could understand. Eren shuddered again and hugged himself, fingers digging into his shoulder. He looked heart-wrenchingly pitiful. He wouldn't have looked out of place on an ASPCA commercial.

Anger surged through Levi's chest. It set his blood on fire. Red tinged his vision.  _How could his father do that to him?!_  Levi had to fight to keep his voice calm. "What's your fault?" The chestnut-haired boy shook his head and sucked down another breath. He didn't answer. "Eren… whatever happened, it's not your fault, I promise. Don't think that it is. Don't let it keep you there out of guilt. It's not your fault. You don't have to let him hit you. You can leave. You can go somewhere where no one is going to hurt you. You can come here."

Eren looked up at him. His face crumpled and Eren started to cry again. Silent tears, almost invisible with the poor video quality, slipped down his puffy face. Levi's fingers ached to grab Eren's shoulders, pull him close, and stroke his feather-soft hair as he whispered calming nothings in Eren's hear. He had to settle for murmuring soothing things as the younger teen cried until there was nothing left.

When Eren sucked down a shuddering breath and wiped his eyes, Levi made up his mind. "Eren, tell me where you live. I'm coming to get you."

Emerald eyes flared open and Eren frantically shook his head.  _"… Wa…lk…."_  he managed to rasp.

"Eren, that's not safe!"

Eren shook his head and wiped at his eyes again.  _"I can walk there,"_  he signed,  _"Don't come. I'll be there in a few minutes."_

Levi frowned and studied Eren's face. There was a stubborn set to his jaw. It almost made him look confident and strong despite his puffy face and the way he trembled. Maybe it was his eyes, the way they burned like Greek fire, resilient and stubborn, that made it clear that Eren wouldn't budge on his plan.

"Fine…" Levi muttered. "But call me if anything happens or if you need a ride." Eren nodded in confirmation. "Eren…" The teen cocked his head to the side. "I love you. Be safe."

he corners of Eren's lips managed to twitch upwards slightly. He held up his hand, his thumb, forefinger, and pinkie up. He flashed his pointer and middle fingers a moment after.  _I love you too._  Eren closed the call. Only then did Levi realize his cheeks were damp with frustrated tears.

* * *

The pain had faded. Maybe it was the adrenaline that kept the pain away. Maybe it was the endorphins. Maybe it was how focused Eren was on getting out that he just didn't notice. Whatever it was, he didn't care. It simply made it easier to throw a bag together. T

hree pairs of clothes, some extra socks and boxers, his wallet, Levi's CD, and the monkey. Those ended up in his forest green backpack. Unfortunately, his violin would have to stay behind. Thankfully, it wasn't damaged from its fall and it was back in its case, safe for the time being. He jammed his phone into his pocket and glanced around his room.

Emerald eyes skimmed over the bookshelf, the desk, his bed, and everything else. For a moment, Eren couldn't breathe or move.  _I've lived here for fifteen years. Can I really leave? I've endured despite it all. I've somehow managed to stay strong. Will I be able to continue to do so if I stay? Even if I did, Levi would definitely alert CPS. I have to go._

Eren slipped from his room and into the guest room. Opening the window was easy. Dangling from the tree branch wasn't. His chest and arms burned from where his father had kicked him. He hit the ground with a louder-than-normal thump and froze. No doors opened. No lights flared to life. With a sigh of relief, Eren set off.

He moved slowly. The pain had flared up again. It put a limp in his step from where his father had kicked his shin. It put a hunch in his back from where his father had kicked and punched him in the stomach and upper back. It made him hold his arm close to his chest as it ached right down to the bone. His throat burned like someone had dumped a Molotov cocktail down his throat. His jaw throbbed while his right cheek was numb for the most part. On top of it all, his head spun and the world went with it.

Eventually, Eren's quick steps turned into stumbling movements. More often than not, he had to lean against something solid or put a hand out to brace himself.  _I should call Levi... No. I can make it. Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes._  He was a mass of pain that happened to be shaped like a body.  _Ten more minutes. I can make it._

Eren staggered past shops on the edge of the city, most of which were dark and desolate. In the distance, he could still hear the sounds of the festival as it raged on in the park. The date seemed like it was from another lifetime, even though it had ended at ten thirty and only an hour had passed.

 _How could such a wonderful day become a catastrophe?_ Eren faltered and stumbled to a stop next to closed shop and a dark alley, one hand on the wall to stay steady. The world wobbled around him. Eren took a deep breath and counted to ten. Slowly, the world evened out. The pain that seemed to make up his whole body subsided enough that he could clear his head.

Eren looked up at the sky and sighed.  _I wish Levi hadn't seen that. That was a secret, one I was going to take to the grave. The look on his face… I wish I could have fought back._  Eren looked down at his hands.  _When did I start wanting that? I've grown used to not resisting, to accepting the punishments. I deserved them after all. I-_

Shuffling steps pulled Eren from his thoughts. He glanced over his shoulder as a hand, large and rough, closed around his bicep. A man with a broad, tan face, dark stubble on his chin, and a lopsided grin stared down at him. His eyes were dark, his entire being sinister. Eren reflexively froze. His lungs locked up and his eyes flared open.

The man's grip tightened on his arm. "Hey there pretty boy," he purred, "You wanna have a good time?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha I'm not sorry at all. Okay, maybe a little, but that doesn't matter because nothings gonna change. What matters is that this took soooo long to update and I'm sorry about that, but life. I've already started work on the next chapter, so that should hopefully be up soon ^^ Alongside that, I figure it's time to mention that Speak! will soon be part of a series detailing Levi and Eren's pasts and one that explores a bit of the future. I'll tell you when they're up. Anyways, till next time, have a great day/night/existence!


	17. Tainted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo heavy references to rape. Slight verbal and physical abuse. I'll explain why the former at ze bottom.

Levi paced across his room; agitation, apprehension, and anxiety almost tangible in the air. More than an hour had passed since the call had ended. As the minutes kept ticking by, the frustration continued to build.  _Where is he? He should be here by now! Are his injuries worse than he thought? Did his father catch him trying to leave? Is he unconscious somewhere, in the middle of a street where anything could happen? Oh God… Eren…_

Levi bit the top of his thumbnail, already worried to the point where it was almost gone.  _I should have gone to get him. Dammit!_  He was more than tempted to kick one of the legs on his bed or to punch the wall. Neither would help much, but maybe, just maybe, the violent actions could take away some of his tension. As soon as Levi thought about it, he shrank into himself as shame and disgust welled in his stomach.  _Is that what Eren's father thinks? That beating on his son will take away something that's wrong? That bastard… That sick son of a bitch. I'll never touch Eren like that,_ never _!_

It was a good thing Levi's father wasn't home. He would have heard the thumps, the crashes, and the screams. For once, Levi realized it truly was a good thing that yet another business trip had taken his father somewhere out of town, somewhere far away where he wouldn't return for a few days. It would give Levi time to sort things out, to help Eren out.  _Where will he stay? Here? Here! I won't let him be alone; I'm not letting him out of my sight any time soon._

He turned around and walked across his room again, this time over to the wall of pictures. It only took a moment to find the most recent pictures, the ones he had tacked up in the center: pictures from Shiganshina, from his new home. He found the one he was searching for almost instantly.

In the picture, Eren sat on the park swing, one hand on the metal chain, the other in his lap, overtop his phone. A small smile graced his lips, barely there but still visible. What was more visible was the bruise on his cheek, light blue with a tinge of purple in the center. It spanned the majority of his left cheek.

 _He said it was a fight. The one under his jaw was a fall. The nightmares he never explained, the random flinches, the lies, and the nervousness. I should have seen it from the beginning. I knew the signs. I've seen them in the orphanages. I've had them first hand. I'm an idiot._  Guilt tightened his stomach. Levi pressed his forehead against the pictures, his bangs in his eyes and his hand over his heart.  _Eren… get here soon. Please._

His phone vibrated, breaking the silence and startling Levi. He whirled around and darted over to his desk to cradle it in his shaking hands.  **Call From: Eren Jaeger**. "Eren, are you alright? Where are you?" For a long, tense moment, there was no sound. Then a shuddering sob reached Levi's ear. The short teen froze in place, his blood like ice and his mind full of terror. "Eren..." he managed to choke out.

Eren sobbed harder and let out a low, panicky whimper of distress. Panic slammed into Levi's chest and his fingers tightened on his phone, so much that he thought it would break. "Eren, please, say something,  _anything_."

Another soft whimper came across.  _"I… wa…lk… ma…n… he…lp me… vi… Le…vi… Le…vi… Le… it... hurt…s… L…evi… Le…vi... hu…rts…"_  Eren's voice kept cracking and fading out. Pain and fear laced his raspy, hoarse voice. Eren's voice turned into little more than a soft mixture of incoherent whimpers and babbles.

Levi nearly dropped his phone. His legs threatened to give out from underneath him and send him crashing to the floor. Somehow, he managed to keep his feet beneath him and the phone in his hand. The pale teen fought to keep his voice calm and even as he spoke. "Eren… tell me what happened. Where are you? Eren, speak to me."

A hysterical sob tore through Eren and slammed straight into Levi's heart.  _God no… please, please, please let him be all right. Let him be safe. Please, just need a ride. Please be safe._   _"_ _M…an… al… alley… r… r… r… ape... I…hur…t…. Le…vi… Levi..."_  Eren's words dissolved into hysterical sobs.

A cold like no other coiled around Levi's heart and stole the breath from him. For a moment, he couldn't move, couldn't think, and couldn't breathe. Then Eren's sobs jerked him back to reality. "Where are you? Do you know?"

The questions had to be repeated several times before Eren's sobs eased enough to form a response. Cloth rasped against rough concrete and Eren drew a shuddering breath.  _"S-Star… D…rive… be…fore… the in…ter…sec…tion… Grim… Stre…et… Th…ird… alley… right… L… evi... Le… vi… Le…vi… Lev… i…. vi… vi…. Le….."_

"I'll be there in a moment Eren. I'm coming to help. Just hold on." Eren whimpered and fell silent. Levi hurtled down the stairs, grabbed his keys, and threw himself into his car, the phone still in hand and the call still going. His mouth continued to move and spit out an endless stream of soothing words. He couldn't register them. His mind was blank as he drove except for one thing:  _get to Eren._

The drive was short, but it was a blur. Levi was certain he'd violated several laws, but he didn't give a damn. All that mattered was Eren. The second he found the intersection, he turned onto Grim Street and haphazardly parked. Somehow, he managed to remember to turn the car off before he vaulted out of it.  _Third alley on the right of Star Drive._  "

Eren? Eren I'm almost there. Eren, say something," he begged desperately. Silence greeted his ears. When had Eren gone silent? Levi darted down the street, along the side that Eren must have walked. He had passed the alley at the end when he saw the tan arm stretched out of an alleyway, the second alley away from him. An image flashed through Levi's panicked mind: Eren, lying in a pool of blood, slowly bleeding out. Almost dead by the time help broke into a sprint, feet slapping the concrete. Levi flung himself in front of the entrance to the alley, silver eyes wide and his heart hammering with terror. It was so much worse than he had expected. E

ren lay on his side, half curled up into a fetal position, with one hand by his face, his phone held by loose fingers. Blood matted his hair down to the side of his head and several trails traced their way down his forehead and away from his lips, paler where the tears had cut through. His face was puffy and pale, his eyes closed. The corners of his mouth were red and raw, like something had been used to gag him.

His shirt was pushed halfway up his back to reveal angry claw marks, some of which still wept small beads of blood. His jeans and boxers were at his knees. Red, finger-shaped marks had formed at his hips. A white substance – semen – slowly leaked out of him and pooled on the ground. Pale, barely-formed bruises already dappled his skin, every part that Levi could see. Subtle shivers wracked Eren's body, barely noticeable, but definitely there.

"Eren…" Eren didn't move. Levi swallowed hard and dropped to his knees next to Eren. With shaking hands, Levi touched Eren. A soft moan escaped the younger boy and he flinched away. Rage washed through Levi and his head snapped up to search the alleyway. Nothing was in it, but shadows and heaps of trash.  _I'll kill whoever did this to him._

He brought his phone up and dialed a number. It connected on the second ring.  _"This is 911. Please state your emergency."_

* * *

The pain pulled Eren into consciousness, albeit unwillingly. The pain was everywhere: in his head, in his chest, his arms, his legs, his back, his cheek, his lips, and in his ass. Even his insides burned.  _What happened?_  The thought was bleary with sleep. The memories of the day before slammed into him a moment later.

_Laughing with Levi as they swam in the lake, happy and carefree. Playing the violin for Levi, a happy and upbeat tune. His father charging in and beating him as Levi watched over their Skype call, helpless. Leaving the house. Wandering down the streets, head spinning and barely able to walk. The man grabbing him. The man hitting him and smashing his head into the concrete. The man gagging him with a red handkerchief. The man pulling his jeans down. The man pressing into Eren's ass with no preparation, tearing him apart. The pain, oh the pain._

Eren shot up with a strangled gasp and jerked his limbs towards him so he could huddle into a little ball despite the agony in his ribs. Something warm and gentle slipped over his hand as he jerked it back – another hand. Eren didn't focus on it. He couldn't. It felt like hands were still roaming his body. Words were still being whispered into his ear. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. It felt like his lungs were about to explode and his heart was about to lurch out of his throat. Tears dribbled down his face, quick and plentiful.

"Eren…"  _Levi._  "He's not here. He's not here Eren, you're imagining it. Focus on my voice. Focus on me. I'm real right now, not him. Just focus on me. Open your eyes. You're in a hospital. You're safe. They're already looking for him. Just open your eyes Eren… please." Levi's voice was rough, like he'd been crying. It kept threatening to crack, yet somehow Levi kept it even and soothing in tone. Beneath it, there was an erratic beeping sound, but it was merely background noise.

Levi kept murmuring assurances for several minutes until Eren finally pulled his head up, wiped at his face with the back of his hands, and looked up at Levi. The older teen was paler than normal, the bags under his eyes deeper and darker. His hair was messy and he was wearing the same clothes from their date, although Levi had thrown a black jacket over top.

Eren's heart tightened painfully at the thought of it. Levi looked exhausted, but there was a tiny relieved smile on his face. That fell away to concern washed over his features. "Eren…" His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "Eren… how are you? Do you... Do you remember?"

Eren opened his mouth. The words were on the tip of his tongue, in the shaped of his lips. They couldn't pass his throat. It was as if his vocal chords had caught the words and ensnared them. He knew he could speak, but something was stopping him. Eren tried again. And again. And again. After the fifth try, he touched his throat, thoroughly confused.  _What's wrong with me? Why can't I talk?_

It was like the connection between his vocal chords and brain had been severed. He could form the words, he could feel them roll off his tongue, but they wouldn't pass his lips. They were trapped in his throat, unable to move past a proverbial blockade. Every time he tried, his throat burned and his ribs ached terribly.

Movement in the corner of his vision brought his head snapping up. He body reflexively tensed, his breath caught, already short, and his heart threatened to speed up and send fear laced adrenaline flooding through his veins. Levi still stood by the edge of his bed. Only his arm had moved, outstretched towards Eren. The boy was almost afraid to look at the other's face, but he did.

For a brief moment, surprise was visible on Levi's face. It changed to an expression of unbearable misery. Levi noticed the eyes on his face and he slipped an expressionless mask onto his face, painfully obvious. He could keep it from turning down his lips and furrowing his brow, but he couldn't keep it out of his eyes.  _Levi…_  Eren huddled back in on himself and wrapped his arms around his blanketed knees despite the throbbing in his ribs. He buried his head into his knees and didn't look up. He didn't want to see the look of devastation and misery on Levi's face.

The split second glance had almost been too much. Levi was silent for a long time before he finally spoke, his voice soft and uneven. "Eren, don't think that any of it is your fault. The beatings… last night… It's not your fault." Green eyes peeked up and found Levi. "You didn't do anything Eren. It's… it's not your fault." His mask was weak and already crumbling. The guilt and devastation were painfully visible everywhere that Eren looked – the silver eyes, the pale face, the furrowed eyebrows, and the clenched hands.

Levi slumped back into the seat beside Eren's bed and pressed his face into the covers by Eren's knee so that he could attempt to hide the emotions visible in his eyes, the tears that threatened to fall. Never before had Eren seen him so weak, so open. "Eren… I really do love you," Levi choked out after a moment. His entire body shuddered. "I'm sorry I didn't come get you. This is my fault. I could have prevented it. I should have realized a long time ago what you were going through. I'm an idiot."

Eren's fingers twitched as he continued to watch Levi. The older teen looked miserable, his gray eyes focused on Eren's hands. It almost looked like Levi wanted to cry. It was heart wrenching, but Eren felt oddly numb inside. His fingers didn't want to cooperate. Sign language, which had been so easy the day before, was suddenly hard.

Eren managed to work his fingers into cooperation and he signed something to Levi.  _"Sorry. I'm sorry."_  He watched as Levi's face threatened to crumple and the pale teen pressed his face into the covers by Eren's knee so that his face couldn't be seen. Eren stared blankly at Levi for a long time before he finally uncurled himself, his body aching, and stretched back out, making sure he wasn't touching Levi as the pain medication and the beep of the EKG lulled him to sleep.

* * *

Levi watched Eren as the younger teen slept. His face was void of the fear and confusion that had haunted him since he had woken. It was visible in his eyes, in the plains of his face, in the way he moved. He seemed so fragile now, as if a touch would break him. His flinches were so much stronger and visible than they had been a day before. There was a haunted, broken look in his eyes, which had once been vibrant and lively, but were now dull and dead.

Bruises covered his body. There was a large one across his forehead, along with a gash that had been bandaged. Another was on his cheek, the same one as the night they had first met. The underside of one eye was dark with bruising. His bottom lip was split and swollen. The angry red marks at the corners of his mouth had only grown darker. Splotches of blue and purple dotted his arms. Levi was glad he couldn't see Eren's back, chest, or legs. It wasn't a picture he wanted to complete. He had seen more than enough when he had found Eren; bloody, unconscious, and violated.

When Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Gramps, Zoe, and Petra had come in to see him, he had been asleep.  _It was probably for the best. I don't know how he would have reacted. It was bad enough with just me here. He wouldn't have wanted to see them cry either. And I haven't even told them about his father… Damn…_  Levi buried his face into his hands, his fingers digging into his face.

_This is all my fault. I should have gotten him. I shouldn't have let him go alone. I should have gotten his address from Armin. I should have met him halfway. I should have done something. I shouldn't have listened to him. I should have seen the signs. Damn it all to hell! Why did I ignore the signs? Why?! 'Because I didn't want to see it' is a pathetic fucking excuse. I didn't though. I truly didn't want to believe anything so bad could happen to Eren. Dumbass. Fucking moron. Shithead. Idiot. Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Levi snarled quietly at himself and straightened up. His hands fell into his lap and he stared at Eren. The boy's chest rose and fell slowly. The heart monitor registered a steady beep, unlike the erratic beeping from when Eren had woken and curled in on himself, panicking. The raven-haired teen winced and clenched his hands together.

 _"He has dozens of contusions on his body, along with bruised ribs, a mild concussion, and tearing around his anal passage. We've taken DNA samples, but it will take a while to analyze it. We also need to get a description of his assailant from him so we can put out a sketch to find the man responsible. There is a chance there will be psychological trauma. If you see any unusual behavior, please tell us so we can treat him for it."_  The doctor's words echoed in Levi's head; the list of injuries that Eren had sustained.

After Levi had told them that Eren couldn't speak, they had run him through an MRI. They had ruled out physical trauma and decided on psychological trauma being the cause.  _How much more psychological trauma could he have?_ "Damn..." Levi muttered quietly.

Movement caught his eye and he glanced up at Eren. The boy rubbed his eye with one hand while the other rested on his chest. The emerald eye not covered by his hand slid around the room, wary and lifeless. After a minute, they landed on Levi and stayed. "Hey," Levi whispered. Eren turned his head to the side, but he didn't respond. His face was as blank as it had been while he was asleep. His green eyes were dull and vacant. He blinked and continued to stare at Levi with wide eyes. It was a little unsettling.

"Eren… are you alright?" The younger teen slowly blinked and nodded after several moments. "Are you sure?" He repeated his movements from before. Levi didn't know much concerning the medical field, but he was almost certain Eren's behavior wasn't normal. "… Do you remember what happened last night?"

Eren cocked his head to the side and his lips twitched down into a frown, although his eyes remained blank and unexpressive. His pink lips twitched and a rattling sigh escaped Eren. It happened several more times before it changed. "….vi…"

Levi's eyes widened and he leaned closer, hands gripping his knees so he wouldn't touch and possibly scare Eren. "Eren?"

"Hur… ts… Le… Hel…p… vi… no… sto…p… it hur…ts..." The frown on Eren's face kept deepening, but his eyes stayed blank. His voice was rough and low. He spoke in a monotone, without any fear, confusion, or urgency. Eren sounded like a broken record, like someone who was reading off a paper and putting no emotion into it. The babble continued for several minutes before Eren lapsed into silence, still staring at Levi.

The raven-haired teen watched Eren for a long time after he fell silent, his silver eyes wide and his heart heavy.  _"There is a chance there will be psychological trauma. If you see any unusual behavior, please tell us so we can treat him for it."_  Levi's hands clenched on his knees until his knuckles were white.  _What if the trauma's too much?_

* * *

Mikasa and Armin came to the hospital the next day an hour before the doctor was due to come in and check Eren to analyze his behavior. Eren was already awake when they arrived, but he had done little more than stare straight ahead, the only movement being occasional blinks and twitches. The door opened and both males looked up. "Hey Mikasa, Armin," Levi mumbled tiredly as they walked into the room.

They greeted him with quiet voices and immediately pulled up chairs next to him; Armin to his right and Mikasa to his left. Eren's heart rate jumped up a bit and he shifted until he was on the edge of the bed – the edge farthest away from them. His face stayed blank as he watched the three of them watch him. "How's he doing?" Mikasa whispered. She seemed too distraught to press Levi at the moment and to inevitably yell at him.

"He hasn't spoken since last night." Levi pressed his fingers to his skull. "He's been acting like this ever since his episode after he initially woke up. He flinches, he twitches, he follows with his eyes, he nods, he shakes his head, he sleeps, and he eats, but that's about it. He won't talk. He won't sign. I tried to get him to a second time, but his hands were shaking too hard and after that attempt, he didn't move. He just stares and looks like he's not even here. The only time I see any emotion is if he's having a panic attack."

The Arlert children – both adopted and not – pressed up against Levi until their shoulders touched his as they leaned on each other for strength. "He'll get better soon…" Mikasa whispered, "I know he will."

"Yeah," Armin murmured. "Eren's strong. Maybe his mind needs to distance itself for a while until he can piece things back together. Maybe he'll snap out of it soon and he can start recovering."  _Maybe… maybe… But what if he doesn't?_  They sat in silence for an hour, watching Eren as he stared blankly at them with lusterless green eyes.

Eventually, the doctor came in and four heads turned to watch. She was a small, willowy woman with blonde hair and warm, brown eyes. She was wearing a white lab coat overtop a pink shirt and black slacks. "Hello gentlemen, lady," she said with a smile and a sweet voice, "My name is Dr. Angela Swift. I'm here to examine Eren and see what might be affecting him. You three can stay there, but don't move or make a sound, okay?"

They nodded in unison and watched her approach. Dr. Swift directed her attention to Eren and stood beside him, close enough that she was within arms-reach, but far enough away so she wouldn't scare Eren enough that his heart rate skyrocketed. Even so the beeps increased their tempo slightly. "Hello Eren," Dr. Swift sang cheerily to him. He simply stared at her. "I'm going to have you do a few things now, okay? Can you nod if you'll allow me to?"

Eren studied her for a moment before he dipped his chin ever so slightly.

"Great! Now, I want you to watch my finger very closely." She brought one hand up a few feet away from his face and started to move it back and forth. Green eyes tracked it left and right, up and down. Then she tried to bring it closer to Eren's face. The young teen recoiled and pressed back into the pillows. His heart lurched into a faster tempo and the electronic beeps buzzed in Levi's ears. Mikasa's hand clenched against Levi's knee while Armin tensed.

The three teens continued to watch as Dr. Swift carried out several more experiments. She asked Eren questions and told him to nod or shake his head to answer, which Armin, Levi, and Mikasa verified the truth of falseness of. All of his responses were accurate. She had Eren twitch his fingers, curl his toes, and attempted to coax him into speech and signing, neither of which worked.

The last test she did was to have Armin hold Eren's attention while she brought her hand closer and closer until she touched his arm. The effect was instantaneous. Fear flared to life on Eren's face and he jerked away from the doctor, his arm pulled in to his chest. Pain mixed with the fear as Eren went rigid and stared straight at Levi, his eyes wide and fearful. His heart rate shot through the roof. The three teens clutched at each other as they resisted the drive to reach out and comfort Eren.

"Eren, it's alright, it's alright," Levi whispered to him, "He's not here. No one in this room is going to hurt you, we promise." A low moan escaped Eren and he buried his face into the white pillows beneath his head.

Dr. Swift looked at the three teens in turn and sighed. "In some aspects, Eren is fine mentally, but in others, he isn't. He flinches, which is to be expected, and some people go mute because of the trauma, which Eren has done. It's a psychological problem that may or may not correct itself. Alongside that, he almost seems like he could be in a minimally conscious state, but his reflexes are good, he apparently had legible speech the other day, all of his answers were correct, and he is quite aware of what is going on.

"However, some part of his subconscious has likely disconnected him from reality so that his mind can put itself back together, leaving survival instincts and a few other things immediately working. Speech and sign language weren't needed, so his brain has temporarily disabled those things until he can recover even a little from the emotional and mental trauma. It's similar to a coma, but a little more complex. Sometimes patients come in like this.

"It's typically due to compounded stress and trauma over a period of years and then something particularly devastating – in this case sexual assault – can tip them into this state. He's basically in a self-induced stupor. Some patients come out of it quicker than most, although some never do. Interacting with Eren will help. Talk to him, read stories, tell jokes, sing songs, play music, and so on. Make his subconscious realize that outside of his body, things are stable and not a threat. That might speed up his recovery process. Any questions?"

Levi mulled over the information while Armin asked a few questions that Levi didn't hear.  _We'll help him get out of this. Eren… Why you?_  Dr. Swift's soft voice plucked Levi from his thoughts. "Is there any history of child abuse in his family? Mother, father, maybe a grandparent? It doesn't just have to be physical: emotional, mental, or sexual. Anything you can tell us will help."

Levi tensed and in the corners of his eyes, he saw Armin and Mikasa glance at each other, then at him. "… Not that I know of," Armin said after a moment.

"He was. Abused I mean." Levi's nails dug into his palms and he glared at his knees. The story came out in a rush. "I didn't know until the other night… the night he was raped. We had gone on a date earlier, to the festival. When we went to our homes, I asked him to play the violin for me, so he opened up a video call… His dad came in and yelled at him for a moment before he started to beat Eren.

"I don't know how long it went on. I was yelling at his father, but he didn't hear me… He was too busy screaming and beating Eren to notice. Eventually, he stopped and left. Eren grabbed his phone. I convinced him to come to my house. He demanded that he get there on his own… It's my fault. I made a shit choice and I sure as hell regret it. I should have gotten him. I should have gone to him."

Silence followed his words for a long time. Two arms slipped around his shoulders as two bodies pressed close. "Don't tear yourself up," Armin murmured. "None of us could have stopped him, not if Eren had made his mind up about it. He's too stubborn for his own good." Levi glanced up at Dr. Swift. Silver and brown met and held each other evenly. "Can you do something about Eren's father?"

"Dr. Grisha Jaeger? Yes. There's more than enough evidence. Once Eren recovers enough, he'll be able to tell us what happened before this incident. I'll inform some officers and we'll find Dr. Jaeger. We'll let you know as soon as we find him."

* * *

It was the second night Levi had spent at the hospital and he was exhausted. The chairs were shitty and left him with aching joints. The coffee was crap and tasted like mud. The apple he was currently attempting to eat tasted like dust. Levi really didn't give a damn. At least he was close to Eren. Mikasa and Armin had insisted that he go home in the morning and get some proper food and sleep while they watched and talked to Eren. It was tempting, but he was still reluctant to do so.

 _Dad's on another business trip, so he won't be home for a few days. It doesn't matter. But I can't stay here forever. It would be pointless if I landed myself in here because I neglected myself by staying close to Eren. As much as I don't want to, it's probably a good thing to go home._  The elevator doors parted and Levi sipped the coffee as he wandered down the halls to Eren's room. Caffeine slowly trickled its way to his brain and by the time he stopped at Eren's door, he felt a little more awake. Awake enough to notice that the door was cracked and not shut, as he had left it.

Awake enough to hear the voice, the frantic beeping, and the sharp sound of something connecting to flesh – a hand maybe. "You're despicable. I can't even stand to call you  _son_. That short, black-haired boy's probably been fucking you for a while, so what'd it matter if one more got you, you little faggot? God, if only he had killed you and saved me-" Levi's fist connected with Grisha Jaeger's face. He hadn't even realized he had moved, let alone opened the door. Where was his coffee? At the moment, none of those things mattered.

The old man hit the floor with a heavy thump. The doctor dabbed at his lip for a moment and his fingers came away bloody. He looked up at Levi, his face twisted into fury. "Fucking freak," he hissed. Grisha spat on Levi's shoe, but the teen didn't notice.

Levi's face was dark and his eyes were pools of molten silver rage. His hand shot out and grabbed Grisha by the lapels of his jacket. Levi hauled Grisha out into the hall and tossed him against the opposite wall. "How  _dare_  you?" he snarled. Grisha looked up at him, his lips pulled back and a small smear of blood on the edge of his mouth. "You hurt him, your own  _son_! You don't deserve the kindness, the faith, and the love he's shown you. If you come near him again, I'll kill you, do you understand me?"

A nurse came up beside Levi, confusion and concern on her face. "Sir, what's going on here?"

"He attacked a patient and his son. I advise you find a security guard if you want to get this bastard out of here alive." The nurse stared at him for a moment before she turned around and darted off, hopefully in search of a security guard. One arrived within a few minutes, confirming Levi's suspicious and he leaned against the wall, away from the coffee he had dropped.  _Eren didn't need this. Damn his father to hell!_  Levi took several deep breaths and opened the door.

The EKG monitor sped up, but when Levi walked into view, is slowed down a little. Eren stared down at his knees, one hand on his cheek, his mouth parted slightly. His entire body shook. There was a red mark on his cheek in the shape of a human hand. It was even harder to contain the new burn of fury, the new ache of sadness. The black-haired teen sank down into his chair next to Eren and rubbed his temples.

"… I'm sorry Eren. I shouldn't have left you. I should've stayed in here. Damn…" A soft sigh escaped Eren and drew Levi's eyes up. Eren's eyes were focused elsewhere, not even focused really, but he still seemed closer to reality, closer to Levi, than he had in over a day. He sighed again and slowly turned his head toward Levi. Another sigh. It took an hour for Eren to stop shaking and for both of them to drift off to sleep, Levi's head on the bed and Eren halfway between Levi and the edge opposite.

* * *

The next three days passed in a blur: Levi, Mikasa, and Armin rotated shifts so that all three of them could sit with Eren for a few hours while the other two slept, ate, and cleaned up. Leaving made Levi anxious, but he knew it was for the best. There was no sense in them running themselves ragged and being unable to be there for Eren. It was stupid, something that Zoe and his father agreed on.

His father had called a day before, asking where Levi was and why he wasn't answering the home phone. His reaction had been better than Levi had initially hoped for and a cause for immense relief. Until the whole situation with Eren's father was sorted out, when Eren got out of the hospital, he would stay with the Rivaille family until things became clearer.  _That could take a while..._

Eren was still out of it. He still wouldn't respond. He simply stared and watched them, only reacting to flinch away. It was a hard thing to watch, but all they could do was wait and talk to Eren, hoping that he heard. Levi read quietly next to Eren, thumbing through a well-loved copy of  _War and Peace_. He flicked a page and sighed. The book couldn't hold his interest, not at the moment. He was too worried and anxious to focus on it.

There was no warning when Eren's heart rate suddenly skyrocketed.

Levi's head snapped up to focus on Eren. The chestnut-haired boy was rigid, his limbs locked out while his hands clutched at the sheets. His eyes darted beneath his eyelids. Pale lips moved to form words that weren't heard. Eren thrashed against an unseen attacker. A low, pitiful moan escaped the young teen. Eren lurched up a moment later with his hands pressed to his chest and face white as a sheet. His eyes snapped open, terror-filled and wild. The EKG went ballistic as Eren's heart hammered away. The teen looked like he was struggling to breathe, as if the panic was choking him.

"He's not here Eren, neither of them are. They aren't going to hurt you, not again." _Didn't I say that before?_  "You're safe Eren, you're safe. Breathe. I'm here. Focus on me. Focus on my voice. Just breathe. You're in a safe place. You're not in danger here." Levi continued to speak in a soft, low voice. He wanted to reach out, to touch Eren, but it wouldn't help, not at the moment. Not in the middle of a panic attack. He just kept uttering things to calm Eren.

A nurse came in a few minutes into Eren's panic attack. She managed to give him an injection and left with instructions for Levi to inform the nurses if Eren continued to panic. The door shut with a soft click and Levi looked back at Eren. The younger teen had slumped back into the bed, his limbs loose and his face slack. His heart rate was slow. He was breathing normally. His green eyes were fixed on his knees, still blank. Then his hand fluttered against the sheets.

Levi stared at it for a long time, studying Eren's hands. The skin was tan and smooth. His fingers were long and lithe, suited for playing instruments. The hand fluttered again before it started to inch a little closer to Levi. The silver-eyed teen glanced up at Eren's smooth face, then back to his hand. Eren made a soft noise as his fingers twitched again.

Tentatively, Levi set his hand on Eren's, just his fingertips at first. The younger male tensed, but he didn't pull away. Levi slowly took Eren's hand into both of his and brought it to his lips to kiss his knuckles gently. Eren flinched, but left his hand in Levi's grasp. The raven-haired teen pressed their hands to his forehead. "Hey Eren... please, get better. Know that there are people who love you waiting on you. I want you to get out of here. I want you to come home to safety. I want to hear you play the violin again. You played so beautifully. We'll play a duet when you get out, alright? We'll play together, violin and piano. It'll sound phenomenal."

Eren's fingers twitched against his forehead. A soft smile tugged at Levi's mouth. He shifted their hands slightly so he could see Eren. "Did you listen to that CD I gave you? Did you hear me sing?" The chestnut-haired teen dipped his head in a slight nod. "Do you want to hear me sing?" Eren's lips twitched up slightly, a smile as small as Levi's. Levi gently squeezed Eren's hand, pulled their hands down to his chest, and closed his eyes. Normally, he wouldn't be caught dead signing, especially without his piano.  _But this isn't exactly normal, now is it?_  Levi took a breath and started to sing quietly.

_"When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary_   
_When troubles come and my heart burdened be_   
_Then, I am still and wait here in the silence_   
_Until you come and sit awhile with me_

_"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains_   
_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas_   
_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders_   
_You raise me up, to more than I can be."_

Fingers clamped hard around Levi's hand. Silver eyes shot open and focused on Eren. The younger boy stared at him, green eyes wide and watery. Eren's mouth moved several times, forming words without sounds. Levi faded into silence as he stared at Eren, startled by his reaction. Eren tightened his grip on Levi's hand again. "... Do you want me to keep singing?" Eren nodded frantically and somehow managed to tighten his grip on Levi's hand even more than before. _Is this a good thing, his reaction? I think it is._  "Okay," Levi murmured. He kept his eyes on Eren as he started to sing again, his voice sweet and light.

_"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains_   
_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas_   
_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders_   
_You raise me up, to more than I can be."_

Levi watched as Eren's face crumpled and tears began to flow, fast and thick down his cheeks, bruised and not alike. Eren's other hand flew to his face a moment later and he started to frantically wipe his face, smearing tears everywhere. Sobs tore through his thin body. Tears streamed down his face and cascaded onto his hospital gown. Levi continued to sing, his chest light for the first time in days. He ran his thumb along the back of Eren's hand. A moment later, he pressed their hands close to his heart.

The older teen kept singing, one song after another. He did it until Eren cried himself out and fell asleep, exhausted and emotionally spent. Even then he hummed tunelessly and randomly. The look in Eren's eyes had been unmistakable: a spark of life in his eyes. Levi set his head next to Eren's knee, their hands beside his face. "I missed you." He kissed Eren's knuckles, still rough from where they had scraped concrete, but they were warm against his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, sorry for that long ass wait for this chapter. I kinda wrote two versions and Cal had a hard time obtaining a computer to look over em both. And complications with life that I don't feel like discussing.  
> Secondly, the reason behind the rape: that's what this story began with. Two similar ideas, both involving Eren's father abusing him and Eren being raped. However, I also used his rape to make a point: his situation was hell, just like some in real life, and it got worse, just like some in real life. I write about real things masked by the fandom of my choice. I want to show the world the horrors that happen around them every day. I hope you understand that.  
> Thirdly, part of the last chapter came from an idea that FlawlessFlower presented to me. Many thanks to her.  
> Fourth, CHECK OUT THE COVERART WASHISTAR THAT MAJESTIC HUMAN MADE. LOOK AT IT AND BASK IN ITS GLORY.  
> http://thedoodlelife.tumblr.com/post/83572327953/cover-art-for-speak-by-fairylights101-you-can#  
> Alright, I'm done ranting so have a good day/night/existence!


	18. Calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence! And despite common controversy, there's still a few chapters left, plus some side stories, so don't fret.  
> Mmm this chapter also hasn't been edited by my beta sooo it's not at it's peak. Sorry! It will be soon.

The day before Eren was due to be released Jean stood outside of the Arlert’s home – his new, temporary home. For how long, he didn’t know. Until he found a job, bought, or rented, a place and moved in probably. That would probably take a while. Jean was through with moping. He’d mourned the fact that his mother had abandoned him for who he was. He’d moved on to anger a few days after. Now, he was at the acceptance stage.

Yeah, he gave a shit, but if that bitch hated him for being gay then so be it. He couldn’t force her to change the way she has viewed the world all her life, or at least her adult life, and he shouldn’t expect it to change overnight, but he has to admit that he did hope that him being her son and only child would make some difference.  _Some would rather die than be who they are. Mentally, physically… either way they die. I was practically dead before, always hiding who I am and denying myself happiness, joy, but now I’d rather live. I’d rather hold Armin and be happy with myself._

The ash-blonde teen flipped another page in the book as he waited for Armin to return. The smaller teen was at Eren’s grabbing some of his things with Mikasa. Jean had opted to stay. They didn’t know where Grisha was, or when he could show up. Hell, the man was definitely crazy enough to get a Molotov and torch the Arlert’s place. So Jean waited outside, a book in hand, cell in his pocket, and fists ready to meet a certain asshole’s face. They still didn’t know what Eren’s father had done to him – nothing more than what Levi had told them about the Skype call – but they knew that he knew where the Arlert abode was.

Thankfully, a certain she-bitch didn’t know where Jean was, let alone where the Arlert house was. She hadn’t called. Hadn’t texted. Hadn’t even posted missing signs.  _That bitch._  Jean thought glumly.

Part of him wanted to hate his mother. The other part – the majority really – wanted to forgive her, to tell her that even if she didn’t love him,  _he_  still loved her.  _‘Cause I’m a fucking mama’s boy. Any other sane person would forget about her. Me? Nah, fuck that apparently. Fuck, I really hate myself sometimes. I mean who_ \- A loud jangle of notes – from a xylophone perhaps – jarred the teen from his thoughts. It took him a moment to realize that the tumble of notes was originating from his pocket. The book closed with a snap as Jean plucked the device up. “’Ello?” he said, his drawling,  _I-am-mightier-than-thou_  voice returning.

_“… Jean baby? It’s me, mommy. Can we talk for a minute?”_

The phone slipped from Jean’s hand and clattered onto the wooden boards beneath his feet. Stunned, all he could do was stare blankly ahead at the elm tree across the yard.  _Mom?_  Shock. Confusion. Bewilderment. Hesitation. So much confusion. Clarity.  _Mom_. Hate. Anger. Fear. Dread, sorrow, grief, misery, rage, fury, spite, desperation. Vulnerability.

Numb, Jean encircled the phone with his fingers and brought it to his ears. “… Mother.” His voice was cold, haughty, and angry.  _She won’t hurt me. Her words won’t touch me. She can’t control me, not anymore. I can’t, won’t, let her._ There was a quiet sniff. Jean’s resolve wavered.

_“Jean… I screwed up. I’m so, so, so sorry baby. I made a mistake. A huge mistake. I’ve been making it for years. I wish I could go back and change that, but I can’t. I wish I hadn’t been so blind. Jean, I’m so sorry. I realized a lot of things while you were gone. I’ve changed. I can see now Jean. Truly. My views have been skewed… and they drove you away… I’m so sorry. Jean… Please come back. Please come home… I’m sorry. Please… could you forgive a woman who was set in outdated ways? Can you forgive your mommy?”_

She sounded so choked up, as if she was crying. She sounded so heartbroken, as if their separation had pained her too. She sounded so sincere, as if she actually meant what she said.

A cold beast wriggled in Jean’s stomach.  _She hasn’t suffered enough, it hissed to him. Don’t go back to her. She hasn’t changed. She’s not capable of change._  And Jean listened. He took a breath. He took another. Summoned his strength. “Sorry mother…” he muttered slowly, “But I don’t believe you.”  _I want to._  “You’re probably just lying.”  _After all, I couldn’t be your perfect son._  “Don’t bother calling again.”

 _“J-Jean! Please, listen to-“_  Her poisonous words and lies dropped away as Jean ended the call. He took a breath. He took another. Then he put his face into his hands and started to cry.

* * *

The day Eren was released from the hospital, Levi drove him to the Arlert’s home. It was a place of comfort. It was also likely to be temporary. Arrangements had to be made. His belongings had to be packed and moved. Mikasa and Armin had already gotten a few of his things – clothes, books, and a few CDs, but not much. Things had to be done.

Perhaps the most nerve-wracking part about it all was that his father hadn’t been arrested.When the guard had taken him away from Levi, Eren’s father had punched the unsuspecting guard and made his escape. No one had seen him since. It was more than a little worrying, but Eren felt a little safe. His friends were around him. They would back him up. They were constantly checking in on him, asking him questions, and being careful about what they did.

 _I hate being weak. I hate that they tiptoe around me. I hate that I was so submissive, so willing to get in. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I’m an idiot. I should have fought back. I should have fought back years ago. If I had, none of this would have happened. Damn it all. Why can-_ The phone rang, its bell tones incessant, loud, and disruptive. Eren flinched for a moment, startled by the sudden interruption in the silence. He took a quick breath and accepted the call.  _Just calm down. No need to be startled over something like that._  “He…llo?” he rasped quietly. The base of his throat itched already with pain, but he could ignore it for a bit.

_“Hello… Eren.”_

The blood in his veins froze. His heart rate skyrocketed. His lungs shriveled up into dry husks. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t  _think_. It was a nightmare come to life. It wasn’t hard to imagine being at home, at the mercy of his father.  _Lying on the floor as the belt cut into his back. Screaming in agony as the knife dragged across his back. Whimpering in fear as a bottle smashed over his head. Endless taunts boxed his ears. An infinite amount of blows rained down on his body._

A sob threatened to work its way out of Eren’s chest, but it wouldn’t move. Instead, it sat smack in the center, choking his words with its size and refusal to move.

 _“What, not going to say anything to your father?”_  He could practically hear the sneer in his father’s voice.  _“You’re so weak. It’s a miracle you made it this far. Fuck, it’s amazing I bothered with you for this long. A bother, that’s what you are. Nothing but a bothersome little shit that gets in the way. So useless. Like legs on a whale. Good-for-nothing piece of crap is what you are. I should have just gotten rid of you after you killed Carla. There was no point in keeping something broken like you. A piece of shit like you can’t be fixed. Shit like you is better off dead. Especially when you murder your own mother. But no, I kept your ungrateful ass and this is how you repay me. By being a freak. By being a fag. God, I should have just shipped you off to foster care system. Woulda saved me a shit ton of trouble.”_

At some point during his father’s speech, Eren had dropped the phone onto the bed beside him. Despite that, he could still hear his father’s voice burning its way through his hear and searing his mind. The words etched themselves into his consciousness, crippling in their intensity. It shut his body down. It was like he had forgotten how to breathe, how to make his heart work properly, even how to swallow. His mouth was a desert, dry with fear. He stared blankly at the floor.  _He’ll come in here any second. He’ll find me, drag me out of here, and beat me. Punch me, kick me, strangle me,_ kill _me._

A soft whimper tore through Eren’s chest as he clumsily fell off the bed and landed in a sprawled heap. Movement was impossible as his limbs had frozen, locked into place by mounting terror.  _Go away go away go away go away go away go away. Just shut up. Stop. Leave me alone. Please. Please… Shut up… shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. Dammit, just leave me alone!!_  Approaching footsteps sent Eren scrambling back against the bed, his spine pressed against the mattress and the wooden frame.

_Dad’s here. He’s here. He’s going to hurt me. Hurt Armin, Mikasa, and Gramps. Hurt Levi. Hurt everyone._

The door opened, revealing a completely different person. Cloudy gray eyes swept the room, searching and bewildered until they landed on Eren. Levi’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes widened as he slowly walked over to Eren, his hands held up in the air. “Eren…?” The chocolate-haired teen shuddered and hugged his limbs into his chest, afraid and unsure of what to do, where to flee. Levi glanced from Eren to the bed. His eyes narrowed. Levi crossed Armin’s room and plucked the phone from the comforter. Suddenly, his father’s voice filled the room. Almost like he was there in the flesh.

 _“Still not saying anything? Would you say something if I broke your fingers?”_  Grisha threatened, sick pleasure evident in his voice.  _“What about pushing you down the stairs again? Taking a knife to your back for old time’s sake? Strangling you and crushing your vocal chords, your windpipe? How about I get rid of you now? The world would thank me for getting rid of something as disgusting as you.”_

A low moan leaked from Eren’s mouth.  _Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop._  He pressed the heels of his hands against his ears, trying to block the sickening voice out.  _“I’ll find you,_ son _. I’ll find you a-“_  The voice disappeared. There was a soft thump. Eren didn’t look up. He couldn’t. His body was shaking too violently to do little more than remain curled in on himself. Soft fingers, not his own, touched his shoulder. T

he young teen jerked away with another low, guttural moan.  _Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me don’t touch me don’t touch me don’t touch me don’t touch me don’ttouchmedon’ttouchmedon’ttouchmeDON’TTOUCHME_. A sob ripped through his chest. His mind warred with itself, fighting to decide what to do.  _It’s Levi. It’s just Levi. Not Dad. Let him touch you. He won’t hurt you. But touch means pain. Touch means being hit. Not with Levi. Levi’s gentle. Levi wouldn’t do that. But what if he does? He wouldn’t!_

Eren shook his head against his knees. No solution. There was no solution.  _Why couldn’t Dad just leave me alone? Why can’t he just leave me ALONE?!_

“God damn him,” Levi muttered beside him. Eren twisted his head so he could look up. The older teen glared at Eren’s phone, eyes bright with rage. “He’s going to pay. He’s not getting away with more shit like that.”

He pressed his fingers to his face, took a long, deep breath, and crouched down so he could look Eren in the eyes. The rage in his eyes was still there, but Levi had masked it well beneath layers of concern and love. “Eren, I’m going to take care of this. I’m going to take care of  _him_. We’ll go find him. We’ll change your number. You’ll never see him again. After today, he’ll never hurt you again.”

Eren pressed his limbs closer with a nod. Levi’s hand rose, moving to touch Eren’s shoulder, but it stopped halfway. The expression on his face was one of pain.  _He’s hurting too._  Tentatively, Eren stretched his fingers out to Levi’s hand to skim their fingertips. He didn’t want to be touched, not when it wasn’t on his terms, not yet anyway. In that moment, all he wanted to do was comfort Levi, even if he was a little uncomfortable with the touch.

 _It’s Levi. It’s fine. You can touch him and not need to worry._  Their fingertips remained against each other for a few seconds before Eren retracted him hand back to the safety of his own body. A tiny smile tugged at Levi’s lips. Some of the pain and the weight on Levi’s shoulders fell away with the contact. “I’ll wait until Mikasa gets here. She’ll keep you safe while I find your father.”

Eren gave a slight nod. With that, Levi settled by Eren, close enough that the tips of their bare feet were touching. As they sat there, most of the remnants of Eren’s fear fell away. His chest loosened, his heart slowed, and the shaking disappeared. He managed to relax. They sat in silence, comforting each other by living, breathing, and watching. By simply being.

* * *

Armin, Mikasa, and Jean came back to their house immediately. The moment Levi filled them in, their grandfather –  _Gramps­,_  Levi reminded himself – dropped what he was doing to race back to their home. They arrived within twenty minutes. The siblings and Jean made it up in record time – Levi didn’t count, but it must have been within six seconds.

Eren was still huddled on the ground next to the bed, his face closed, his limbs pulled in somewhat loosely while his still-wide eyes watched Levi. Their fingertips touched on the floor, pale over tan. For those twenty minutes from the end of the call until the Arlert’s – with Jean – returned home, they watched each other in silence, cloudy gray and summer leaf green holding each other. The gaze broke when the siblings and Jean came in and the four looked at each other. “What’s the plan? When do I murder the asshole?” Mikasa snarled. Her sharp gray eyes were knives that cut into Levi. He stroked Eren’s hand once more before he rose to his feet.

“You’re not murdering anyone Mikasa,” he said gently yet forcefully. “You’re not going to be doing that. You have more important things to do.” He’d already thought it out. In his last home, he had made a friend: Irvin Smith. Irvin had always told Levi that he didn’t make the best plans, that he was better at following orders. He had told Levi that in an army, Levi wouldn’t have been a commander despite his exceptional talent with weapons and fighting. He simply didn’t have the ability to see far enough ahead. Irvin hadn’t meant it in a bad way. He’d been simply stating the facts in his blunt way that wasn’t meant to offend.

Levi hadn’t minded. It was true. He thought more in the moment when it came to doing things out of anger or making plans. He didn’t look at what his plan might do in the future. He simply  _did_. But this time, he had thought the plan out. Something about actually giving shit about the people his plan involved helped his planning in how he went about it.

“Mikasa, we need someone strong to stay here to watch Eren and Gramps. You’ll be able to protect them. You’re strong, smart, and determined. But you’re also hasty. You need to stay here.”

Gray eyes lit up with fury as Mikasa opened her mouth in protest. Armin set a hand on her shoulder, leaned up, and whispered into her ear. For a moment, she didn’t move. Then she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “… Fine… I’ll keep them safe. You do your job and I’ll do mine.”

Levi dipped his head as he turned to Jean and Armin. The two blondes stared expectantly at Levi, waiting. “The three of us will go out to find Grisha. I’ll tell you more when we go. We’re leaving now. We won’t stop until we find him, and stop this. We won’t stop until that bastard is in jail.” Solemn nods met his words.

Levi turned back to Eren, crouched down, and met the waiting oceans of green-blue. “Eren, don’t go out until we come back. We’ll take care of this. Everything will work out, you’ll see. I love you.”

The corners of Eren’s mouth twitched up slightly as he raised his hand.  _“I love you too."_

* * *

The search started at Eren’s house, which was empty except for the Jaeger’s possessions. No cars sat in the driveway. All of the lights were off. When Armin had let them in with Eren’s key, the three teens has searched the house quickly but quietly, just to be safe.

It looked like a mini tornado had ripped through the lower level of the house. Chairs and tables were tipped over. Lamps had been thrown onto the floor. Glass crunched underfoot from numerous glass bottles that ranged from beer to wine, vodka to whiskey. Some had been shattered while others were intact. In the latter group, a few were filled with the potent, mind-altering liquids. The stench of the various alcohols filled the house, stinging Levi’s nose. He wrinkled it and kept searching until he, Armin, and Jean had determined that Eren’s father wasn’t unconscious anywhere in the house.

Armin offered to drive so Levi could look, but Levi kept driving. The gray-eyed teen knew that if he was looking instead of driving, he was more likely to leap from the car without a second thought, speed and traffic be damned. Driving kept him concentrated. If he saw Eren’s father, he couldn’t floor it in hopes of running the bastard over without endangering the other two males in the care, which he would  _never_  do. Despite his volatile rage towards Grisha, Levi wouldn’t let it bring others to harm – just Grisha.

They drove by the hospital and asked if the doctor had appeared since his escape from the hospital – he hadn’t shown up. No calls, emails, or messages to explain why or where he was either. Armin knew a few bars that Grisha frequented based on Eren’s occasional comments on them. The teens poked their heads into bars, glancing around for that distinctive shaggy mane of brown hair and that smug, disgusting mug. Unfortunately, the five bars they checked held no drunken doctors that deserved a knife rammed up the ass.

After that, the three were at a loss, so they drove around. Past the park – filled with several good memories of Eren and their festival date – and past the street where Levi had found Eren – memories that were far from pleasant. Along the streets that Armin thought Grisha might be on, past the shops he could have been in, and more. Eventually, Levi pulled into a spot along the side of the road and stopped the car with a heavy sigh. His head dropped back as he bit back the irritated curses.

 _Dammit. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s pretty damn impossible to find a single man in a city with a population like this one. Thank God we’re not searching New York or some other shit city._  “… Maybe we should go back,” Armin murmured in the silence. “If we call him in to the police, they’ll look for him. At least we tried. Most wouldn’t have even bothered trying to do this.”

“We’ve looked in all the locations that ass would’ve been in any other day,” Jean added. “We’ve been out here for five hours. We might as well go back, alert the police, and wait. There’s no point in going around looking for a douche that doesn’t wanna be found. We can kick his fucking ass in court.”

Levi let his head fall back onto the headrest, softer than he wanted to.  _Dammit… They’re right…_  “Fine. I’ll g-“

Armin’s phone started to rattled in the cup holder, vibrating furiously in the plastic confines. The goldenrod blonde snatched his phone up. “Hello? Mikasa?” Frantic  chattering, inaudible to Levi, crackled to life in Armin’s ear. The cerulean-eyed boy flinched away from his phone momentarily before he pulled it back to his ear. “Whoa Mikasa, slow down, please. Who is where?”

He listened for a moment. Jean and Levi watched as Armin’s face paled within a matter of seconds. “He’s at the house?” Disbelief colored his voice. “Alright, we’ll be there in a moment. Hold on. Make sure all of the doors and windows are locked. Shit, it’s a good thing Gramps went out again.” Armin dropped his phone into his lap and turned to Levi. No words needed to be said as Levi had already pulled out of the parking space.

Levi drove fast, pushing the limit where he could, but there was only so much he could do with traffic. Even so, he made good time. The sleek, black car pulled in to the Arlert’s driveway within fifteen minutes. They couldn’t see Grisha from the front, but they could hear him screaming at the house and its occupants, presumably from the back.

“Come out here you little rats! Fucking come out here so I can wring your shitty neck! You little  _faggot_! Face me like the man-whore you are! Or are you gonna send out Mikasa instead? Come on, you  _freak_! C’mere so I can give you the good ass-kicking you fuckin’ need!”

Levi was out of the car before Armin or Jean even managed to unbuckle the seatbelts. The short, enraged teen charged across the Arlert’s yard, fists clenched and eyes narrowed. The two blondes followed close behind, their faces tight. “C’mon  _Eren_ , don’t you wanna see your own fuckin’  _father_? Yet another betrayal, you bitch! This is what you do after I raise your God damned, ungrateful ass for fifteen years?! Hide and ignore your own blood? You stupid ingrate! Useless! Pathetic! Why don’t you just kill yourself?”

“Because he’s  _strong_!” Levi spat. His feet stilled his march over to Grisha. They were mere inches apart, although Grisha still faced the house.

Slowly, the doctor turned to face Levi. His dark brown eyes were narrowed with cold rage. “What, you little fuck face? Did you just call that brat up there  _strong_? He’s anything but. He’s just a little fuckin’  _weakling_ , barely even worth the time to come out here and deal with his scrawny ass.”

“He’s a hell of a lot stronger than you are, asshat,” Jean snarled from behind Levi. “At least he doesn’t beat up on his son!”

Grisha’s head cocked towards Jean, then to Armin, before it returned to Levi. “What, can’t take me on your own, you little bitch? Gotta get more disgusting faggots to back your pitiful ass up?”

A muffled sound of indignation caught in Armin’s throat, audible for all of the men present. Jean growled in agitation. All three were close to snapping. The major question was who would strike first. “Last time I checked, I’m the one who put your ass on the floor in the hospital, so shut your trap,” Levi said, his voice a controlled calm, veiling the boiling fury. “Now, why don’t you pick on someone new, you moron? Or can you not handle three ‘pitiful ass faggots’?”

Grisha’s teeth snapped together into a snarl. Without warning, the brunette lunged forward, his fingers curled into a claw aimed directly for Levi’s throat. Levi sidestepped the blow, calculating in his movement. Grisha’s hand glanced off his shoulder.  _Now it can be called self-defense._  Immediately, Levi spun, kicked Grisha in the lower back, and sent him flying toward Jean and Armin.

The two blondes jumped back slightly as Eren’s father stumbled towards them with his arms milling frantically as he fought for balance. Jean ended that balancing act. He stuck a foot out, catching Grisha in the shin and sending him to the ground with a heavy thud. Armin and Jean took a step back as Grisha rose to his feet, wheezing slightly. “Fuck you,” he spat, “Fuck you little freaks.”

“Oh shut the fucking hell up!” Armin yelled. His face, usually calm and collected, was red with hostility. Small fists clenched like Armin was about to take a swing at Eren’s dad.  _Hm… not bad Armin, not bad…_  Grisha turned to Armin. Knuckles greeted his cheek with a resounding smack that brought a satisfied grin to Armin’s face despite the pain he obviously felt in his knuckles.

Jean and Levi slid in closer, moving in tandem with each other. Silver eyes flicked up, amber eyes flicked down. As one, they struck, seconds behind each other. Levi’s fist caught Grisha in the nose, snapping his head to the side. Hot, scarlet liquid started to flow, thick and heavy. Before Grisha could stumble away, Jean struck. His left hand slammed into Grisha’s stomach. The old man doubled over, coughing and wheezing on unsteady legs while blood continued to flood from his nose.

Levi took over from there. He grabbed Grisha’s loose shirt collar and jerked the man upright. The teen’s face was still smooth, yet tight, but his eyes betrayed him. Dark with the desire to get revenge, to give what Grisha had reaped. To repay him for every single damn thing that he had done to Eren. Even to kill him if that’s what it meant. Eren was something he wanted,  _needed_ , to protect. Grisha was something that hobbled that.  _Fuck him. Fuck him._

Levi’s knee flew up, straight into Grisha’s groin. The man’s mouth split open as a guttural groan escaped him. Agony contorted his face. Grisha’s knees threatened to give out beneath him. Levi fingers tightened on the white fabric. He jerked the doctor’s head down. Straight into his knee. There was a sweet crunch as his nose and mouth met Levi’s knee. With that, Levi’s fingers managed to uncurl, dumping Grisha onto the ground. The teen crouched down next to Grisha.

“That was for Eren, you creep. And if you ever touch Eren again,  _I’ll kill you_. Don’t  _call_  him. Don’t  _look_  for him. Don’t  _talk_  to him. Don’t  _look_  at him. Don’t  _touch_  him. If you do, I’ll kill you without a second thought, charges be damned.” The words were hissed, barely audible and meant only for the bloody, beaten man beneath him. Levi stood and dusted his hands off. He plucked his cell from his pocket. It only took a moment for his call to be connected.

_“This is 911. Please state the nature of your emergency.”_

“There’s a man accused of child assault here. He tried to attack me and my friends in an attempt to get to his son.”

_“What is the address?”_

“200 Whitman Lane. No need to hurry. He’s not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a while, no? Heh heh, sorry! Buuuut there were exams and softball, so may I be forgiven? Excellent! When writing this, it kinda ended up being over 11K, so I broke it up. You'll get the other half in oh, a week or more I suppose. Anyway, adieu! Have a wonderful day/night/existence!


	19. Breakthrough

The next day, two days after his release from the hospital, Eren went to Levi's house. They all rationalized that it was safer considering that Grisha knew neither who Levi was  _nor_  where he lived, unlike the Arlert's. Even though Grisha had been arrested, the arrest stood a chance of being over turned until things were sorted out. It was probably a temporary move, but Eren didn't mind. He just wanted to be safe, to be around people he knew. He wanted to be strong.

His pencil stilled on the paper, where he was drawing. Levi's face had taken shape on the crisp, white paper. The raven-haired teen wasn't the only one who would go on the paper: Armin, Mikasa, Gramps, and even Jean would go on there too. People who were strong. People who were brave. Qualities he didn't have. Traits he had never possessed.  _I'm weak. So weak. I want to be strong! Strong like Armin, Mikasa, Levi, and Jean are!_

The door opened and Eren flinched out of instinct. The reaction hurt. He hated how he was. How he flinched at almost every movement, at sudden sounds, at unexpected things, and sometimes even at friendly gestures from the ones he loves. It was humiliating, being someone who cowered at every other thing.  _They broke me. Those two_ broke _me_. Sea-green eyes slid up to the person in the doorway. Levi stood halfway in the room, one hand on the doorknob.

"Eren… there's an officer here to talk with you. About the man who… from the other night. And about your father. Do you mind talking to her?" Eren shook his head as he flipped the sketchbook shut. The single picture in there was private. His drawings and sketches always were. Only Mikasa and Armin had ever seen them. Levi opened the door a little further before he stepped into the room. He eased up onto the bed on the other side. The distance between them was comforting, yet irritating. Two sides of Eren warred with each other, fighting for dominance.  _I want him closer! I want him to stay there! Move closer! Move away!_ Eren pulled his knees into his chest, rooted in place.

An officer stepped in, a woman. She had short, black hair that was choppily cut so that the back reached her neck. Warm, intelligent, and inquisitive green-gold eyes swept the room, quickly taking every miniscule detail in. There was a small notebook clutched in her hand, along with a pen. Her blue uniform was crisp, the brass buttons glinting in the light. There was a gun on her hip, along with a Taser and a radio. Green-gold eyes landed on Eren. "Hi, I'm Officer Ilse Langner. You're Eren, correct?"

When Eren nodded, she stepped into the room. "Mr. Rivaille, do you mind if I take this chair?"

"Go ahead. And just call me Levi."

Ilse lifted Levi's small chair by his desk and set it down a few feet away from the bed where the two boys sat. "You've got a nice room, Levi. Did you take all of those pictures yourself?"

"Yeah."

"They're really good. Definitely more beautiful than the pictures I usually get to see." Officer Langner cracked a half-hearted smile as she uncapped her pen. "Alright Eren, would you rather describe your assailant so that our artist can draw him or describe your assault first?"

 _Neither_. Unfortunately, there was no good option. He wanted to forget about it, but the memories didn't want to be forgotten. They demanded attention, time, and space. They haunted him night and day, in dreams and reality. There was no escape.  _"I can draw him. Realistically,"_  Eren signed with a nervous sigh.

After Levi relayed the translation, Ilse raised an eyebrow. "If that's what you want."

With a nod, Eren took his pencil in hand as he flipped to a new, blank page. White. Clean. Pure.  _Virgin. Unlike me._  The stick of graphite and plastic hung above the paper, wavering slightly as his hand trembled.  _I don't wanna do this. I don't. I don't wanna look back. Not at that! I have to…_  His throat bobbed once. A deep, calming rush of air filled his lungs like balloons. The tremor in his hand faded enough so that he could press the lead to the paper neatly. After that, it was almost too easy. It was easy to slip into blankness, to become numb, to simply let the pencil be the conductor of that orchestra.

It flowed across the page, sketching out the man in his mind. An eye appeared. The man who had stopped him that fateful night. Another eye appeared. The man who had grabbed him. Long stokes of graphite formed thin lips. The man who had touched his body with rough hands. His broad jaw took shape, a box that happened to be part of someone's facial structure. The man who had pulled his pants down, pushed his shirt up. A large, bulbous nose appeared. The man who had shoved him against the ground and taken him like a bitch. The man who had- Eren ripped his thoughts away.

His pencil had stilled, leaving half a face on the page. His chest was tight as it heaved for air; trying to force oxygen into uncooperative lungs. The pencil trembled violently mere inches above the paper. "Eren…? Do you need a minute?" Levi's lulling, quiet voice broke Eren's horrified stupor. Slowly, a slim, pale hand edged over to Eren's knee. Instinct made Eren tense, even though he knew it was just  _Levi_  trying to touch him, comfort him. Just Levi trying to  _help_  him.

Eren shook his head, pulled his limbs in tighter, and bowed back over the sketchbook once more.  _I_ can _do it_.  _Line by line. Don't think. Just draw. Let the pencil follow its' own course. Let it go_. One breath. A second breath.  _Begin_. The pointed lead graced the page once more to bring a beast to a semblance of life.

A box for a jaw. A nose that had been broken three times too many. Eyes that were dark brown and relatively close together. Thin, black stubble that covered the strong, square jaw. A bald cranium. The tattoo that had curled along his neck on the left side consisting of green, curling vines that followed his veins, ending at his chin and disappearing beneath his shirt while a rose, red as blood, bloomed in the midst of the thorns. The way one ear protruded more than the other did. The scar a few centimeters to the right of his right eye, like a half moon. His arm took shape on the paper beside the man's portrait.

As the pencil waltzed along the paper with rhythmic scratches, the features on his arm appeared: a watch, vague in detail as Eren hadn't gotten much of a glimpse of it; another tattoo. It was a pocket watch. Drawn onto the skin of his forearm, the pocket watch chain had started at his wrist, curled around his arm, and ended attached to the watch on the underside of the man's arm.

Eren's fingers lost their ironclad grip on the pencil. It hit the bed with a soft sound. He could feel the two pairs of eyes that flicked up to his face, doubtlessly filled with concern. Numb, Eren tore the page from the sketchpad. He shoved it toward Levi. The moment it was taken from his hands, Eren snatched up a pillow, hugged it to his chest, and pulled his limbs in.

His stomach was a tsunami about to hit the shore. His mind was a volcano about to explode. His heart was a twister about to spin from his chest. He felt as fragile as a spider's web seemed. The question was did he have the strength that they actually possessed? The strength that those deceptively thin, delicate strands of silk held was stunning. In comparison, Eren felt more like a wet noodle, limp and ready to break at any moment. Eren buried his head into the black-and-white pillow, drowning himself in the sweet, intoxicating aroma of lavender and cotton.

"… Eren, do you want to answer any questions today?" Levi whispered. The chocolate-haired teen violently shook his head. He couldn't. There was no way. He could barely breathe, let alone  _think_. He couldn't go back to that night. Not right now. He needed time. He needed space. He needed to  _forget_. Yet that was something he couldn't do. He  _couldn't_  forget. He had to remember for some ungodly reason.

"Alright," Officer Langner murmured quietly. "I'll come back in a few days, either once we find him or once Eren feels like he can answer some questions. Here, I'll give you my number so you can call and check in on Dr. Jaeger and this man once we identify him." There was a tear and then crinkling as the officer folded the paper.

"Thank you. Here, I'll show you out."

"Oh no, that's alright. I can find my way out."

"Thank you," Levi sighed in audible relief. Eren let out his own breath of relief. If Levi had left… It would have been terrifying. No anchor. No stability. Nothing in the room, but himself and his thoughts. Swift, soft footsteps signaled Officer Langner's departure from the room. After a moment of quiet, a door opened downstairs and shut. She was gone.

The bed dipped down, closer to Eren than before. He didn't know if it was too close or if it was an acceptable distance. The constant bewilderment that plagued him like chronic bronchitis was infuriating, just like the automatic flinches, but there was nothing he could do about it. He had to deal with those damnable things. "… You okay?" A shrug met Levi's words. "… Could you look at me?"

Eren peeled away from the wall so that he could turn and press his shoulder against it. A spot of warmth crept up near his toes, one he knew the origin of. Slowly, his head lifted until two miniature seas met two silver coins. Levi's face was smooth, clear of emotion. His eyes showed the emotions he kept in check: all of the anger towards Eren's attackers, the guilt, the devastation. The pain in his eyes stole Eren's breath away.

His grip on the black-and-white pillow loosened. Tentative fingers fell away from the soft fabric to stretch out towards Levi. The older teen held still with one leg over the edge, the other bent beneath him, and his arms leaning against the closer leg. Closer Eren's fingers edged. Closer. Closer still. Contact.  _Finally_. Warmth. Only the tips of his fingertips rested on Levi's forearm, but it was enough for Eren. He smiled against the fabric of the pillow ever so slightly.  _Solid. Warm. Safe. That's what Levi is. Remember that. Always remember in the heart._

* * *

Four days after Eren's release from the hospital, Levi and Armin went to Eren's house for a very specific reason: retrieve Eren's belongings. Levi stared around Eren's room. There was a wooden desk to the right of the door. A few books, a set of speakers, a CD stand, a small, green lamp, and a laptop sat on top of the sleek wooden surface. On the other side of the door, there was a matching bookcase filled with books and movies. Beside that was a long, low dresser, the top of which was barren except for a book. Eren's bed was pushed in the corner, directly beneath a window. The white curtains were drawn, the navy comforter was pulled tight.

The music stand stood just in front of the bed while the violin case was still open on the navy covers. The violin itself was on the floor, poking out from beneath the edge of the bed. Nearby, a bit of blood stained the floor, brown from the numerous days it had been there. It was a clear and disturbing reminder of the events that had occurred barely a week ago.

The memories were crisp and clear, and very much unwelcome.  _Eren stood still, his face serene, as his hand drew the bow across the violin. Eren's horrified face as his father came in, eyes dark with fury. Grisha's savage fists pummeled Eren despite his sobs of distress. Levi convincing Eren to leave. Eren calling Levi, his voice broken and weak. "Levi... It... hur...ts... Le... vi..."_

A hand touched Levi's shoulder, jerking him from the memory. Gunmetal eyes flared open as they stared at the person who had touched him. Armin stood behind him, his hand still outstretched. "Hey... Are you alright?"

Levi bit his lip with a shrug. "... I'll be fine."

Eyes like the sky stared at him for a long time before Armin nodded. "Alright. I believe you. However, if you need to talk, just tell me. I'm more than willing to."

Levi nodded slowly. "Let's get started then."

They both grabbed boxes and started to move around Eren's room. Armin went over to his bookshelf while Levi started on Eren's dresser. For an extended period of time, there was no sound except for the soft thump of books, the muted whisper of folding cloth, and the rumble of drawers filled the silence between them.

Going through Eren's clothes was strange. Kind of like torture, yet not. His scent was everywhere, the sweet yet faint aroma of melons that filled Levi's head, bringing better memories welling up with it. Meeting Eren, texting, talking, kissing, eating, cuddling, hugging, and swimming. All of the pleasant things they had done; all the memories they had made. Levi thumbed the shirt in his fingers. It was simple: bright green without any designs.

After a moment's hesitation, Levi pressed the soft, well-worn fabric to his face. Up close, the faint scent of melons that clung to the shirt was stronger: strong enough that it almost felt like Eren was there next to him, right after a shower perhaps.  _Eren_...

"You really do love Eren, don't you?"

The dark-haired teen jerked the shirt away and swung his head towards Armin, a guilty expression on his face. It took a moment for the shock of the question to wear away so that Levi could form a sentence. Levi rocked back onto his heels. His stone eyes fell away from Armin while he continued to finger the cotton shirt. "... Yeah," he murmured quietly. He could feel his cheeks and neck burn ever so slightly as a light blush forced its' way into existence. In his peripheral, he watched as Armin smiled at him before he turned a book over to look at its back cover.

"That's good. You know, most people would probably leave after something like this, even if they did love the victim. Especially when they're just dating. I'm glad you stayed. Eren is too. He needs all of us. He really needs you." The blonde boy set the book in his box with a quiet sigh. "He truly loves you. I've never seen him take to anyone so fast. Plus, considering what was going on when you two met... and had been going on... it's amazing. He trusts you like Mikasa and I: with his life. You've made his life better, even if he was... even though this happened. But think about it. Everything is out in the open now. He's not hiding his abuse anymore. Heck, he probably  _won't_  be abused anymore so long as the courts rule in his favor, which I can almost guarantee they will. He'll be safe now, so don't worry about the past. Worry about the future. Worry about Eren's recovery."

Levi grimaced as he set another shirt into the box. His eyes remained away from Armin. Despite the blonde's words, Levi couldn't bear to look at him. He felt like Armin should be blaming him and telling him it was his fault, not reassuring him that Eren loved and trusted him.  _And see where that love and trust got him? In the hospital, raped by a man we have yet to find._  "Why won't you blame me?" His voice was hushed. He didn't think he could raise it any more. "I should have gone to get him. I _should have protected him._  You're supposed to protect the people you love."

A hand settled on Levi's shoulder once more. The older teen looked up and stared at Armin. The other teen watched him. From their limited exposure to each other, Armin had come across as easygoing and smart. In that moment, his eyes seemed to hold several centuries' worth of wisdom and his features radiated seriousness. "Levi... no matter how hard a person tries, you can't stop your loved ones from being hurt or killed. It's inevitable. We can't always protect them, no matter how hard we try. It's simply impossible. Besides, if I blamed you, I'd have to blame Mikasa and myself. We've known him since we were tiny, yet we never realized. If anyone should have seen it, we should have. Levi, don't tear yourself up. No one blames you except  _yourself_. Blame yourself if you must, but don't let it drag you down and eat you up."

Levi's fingers clenched on the shirt for a long, silent moment. "I... suppose you're right," he sighed quietly.

"Good!" Armin clapped him on the back and moved back to the bookshelf. They fell back into the hushed tranquility from before, punctuated only by the whisper of fabrics and the muted thumps from the books. They moved around the room, gradually packing Eren's few belongings. Levi rummaged through Eren's dresser drawers, taking a few pads of paper, some pens and mechanical pencils, several notebooks, coloring pencils, and more than a dozen assorted sketchbooks. He didn't flip through them. His curiosity could wait to be quelled for when they returned to his house.

Within three hours, everything that Eren owned had been packed and loaded into Levi's car. Eren didn't have many possessions, even though he had lived in the same place for his entire life. Armin and Mikasa's previous visit had also quickened the process. Levi had learned to pack light, but he had realized that this home would be his last concerning the foster care system and its  _magnificent_  merits.  _Yeah, right. At least Dad and I are on better terms now. Damn… he's coming back in a few days. I guess we'll have to figure out where Eren will be staying by then_.

His thoughts continued to ramble as they drove back to his house. The quietude was disturbed by only the mind-numbing duet of tires over asphalt and the wind as it rushed by. Armin helped unload the boxes, stacking them into the guest room until there was a quaint little cardboard pyramid in the center. Most would likely remain closed until Eren's permanent residence was decided upon.

Only one didn't join the stack. Levi waited until Armin had left before he took it to Eren. He opened the door to his bedroom and slowly stepped in, the box behind his back. Sea green eyes flickered up to Levi's face from his book. It was impossible to miss the way his body automatically tensed out of instinct. The door swung shut as Levi slipped further into the room. He eased himself onto the bed, the end opposite of Eren. It was awkward, keeping the box behind his back, but Levi managed it.

As he sat down, Levi pulled it from behind his back and held the case out, the leathery material cool beneath his fingers. Emerald orbs remained on his face for several seconds before they fell to the case in Levi's hands. Eren's reaction was priceless. It took a bit for what he saw to register, but once he did, it was instantaneous.

Eyes like the sea lit up like lights, radiant and blinding. An immense grin split across Eren's face, one of the first ones in a while. New vitality visibly flowed into him, straightening his posture, and brightening his entire disposition. A wavering hand tentatively stretched out towards the case cradled in Levi's arms. Eren's expression was a blend of limitless elation and wistful hesitance. Everything on his face melted away the second his fingers brushed the case. The younger teen let out a quiet croon as he stroked the case before he took it into his arms.

He didn't even seem to notice that his fingers brushed Levi's or how close they were. He didn't even flinch. Levi found it more than a little enviable, but it didn't matter, not at the moment. It was the happiest Eren had looked since their date. The chocolate-haired teen seemed like he was on Cloud 9. He was at ease for the first time since his hospitalization… since his rape. It offered Levi a shred of relief that took a massive weight from his chest. With attentive eyes, he continued to watch as Eren flicked the locks up and eased the lid open.

Inside, the violin rested on a bed of sleek, burgundy felt, a soft gleam to its' polished wooden surface. Eren's lips quivered as he moved the case to the side so he could pull the violin and bow out to set them on his lap. A small smile tugged at Levi's lips as he watched Eren touch each string, run his fingers along every surface, and pluck a few notes. After nearly ten minutes, the brunette looked up with damp eyes and a face void of vulnerability for once. He sniffed while he pulled the violin into his chest, obviously fighting to not cry. Eren raised his hands and signed as a single tear slipped down his bony cheeks.  _"Thank you. Thank you so much."_

Levi's smile widened. His arms ached to wrap around Eren, to pull him close. He couldn't.  _Not yet_. "You're welcome."

* * *

Eren stared at the ceiling, unblinking and silent. He still felt numb, not to mention scared, but the former of the two was fading, even if just a little. It was good yet bad at the same time. Losing some of the numbness had removed the freeze that had taken hold over his body, locking his joints.

He could move instead of sit and stare as he had in the hospital, unable and unwilling to move. His fingers could move again, perhaps the greatest gift of all as it meant he could use his language without words. It was a comfort. Being without movement had been strange to say the least, unable to twitch his fingers, raise his arms, or open his mouth unless emotions or blankness drove him to action.

He could barely remember his hospital stay for the most part. He simply remembered the cold senselessness that had swamped him. He could vaguely recall voices, but not the words, even though he somehow managed to respond to them. He could recollect Levi's voice, timid – which was a strange thing to associate with Levi – and revitalizing. Everything else was a blur.  _Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it's good that I don't remember._  Remember the entirety of his stay, doubtlessly full of tears. Recall the entirety of when his father had come in, the expression on his face clear yet his words muddled and indistinct.

It was better to forget the stay of the hospital. If only he could forget his father's call. If only.  _Ignorance is bliss._  Ignorance was bliss until it made everything confusing unclear.

Very little made sense to Eren anymore. Even less was stable in Eren's eyes. Armin was stable. Mikasa was stable. Gramps was stable. Levi was stable. The violin was stable. The piano was stable. He was not. He was unstable, unbalances, insecure, and unsteady. He was filthy. Disgusting.  _Tainted_. A stranger had touched him. A stranger had violated him. A stranger had torn his life apart.  _But wasn't it already torn apart? Shredded the second Mom died? I'm unsanitary. I'm revolting._

Chest tight, eyes wide, and heart pounding, Eren half-fell off Levi's bed onto trembling legs. His skin itched like millions of ants were crawling all over his body. He could feel the rough touches, the unforgiving fingers, the blunt nails, the feel of foreign skin. Eren blindly stumbled into Levi's bathroom. His clothes hit the floor, scattered around without a care in his rush. The lanky teen leapt into the shower and turned the water on, uncaring of the temperature.  _Need to get clean, need to get clean, need to get clean_.

Freezing droplets pelted his bare body and danced their way down onto the cool surface beneath him. With fingers shaking and raw terror coursing through his veins, Eren snatched up a loofa and started to scrub himself frantically. All he could see was the man's face. His square jaw, rough with stubble. His flat nose, broken too many times. His dark eyes, sinister with his intentions. The tattoo on his neck, all curling vines and a crimson rose amidst a thousand thorns. The hands, the size of dinner plates, as they closed in on his face.

Eren didn't realize he had sunk to the floor, tears burning paths down his face, until he took a strangled breath. It was hard. He felt like he was choking, like he was dying. His heart was a cheetah threatening to sprint out of his chest. His stomach threatened to rebel and send its contents up his throat. He was being smothered. For once, it wasn't by his father.  _Oh God, I'm dying_.

An unsettling wailing filled his ears. He didn't know what it was, couldn't place it. All the while, phantom fingers still raked at his skin, colder than liquid nitrogen, harder than diamonds. The world rocked by the teen, blurred by the water in his eyes. The wails filled his ears. Hands – scummy, grimy, foul, nauseating,  _revolting_  hands – groped his form, feeling every inch of his body. Freezing droplets thundered down onto his head, threatening to drown everything out. His chest was going to collapse. His heart was going to burst.

His fist slammed into his leg, just above his knee, over and over again as he tried to ground himself through pain. The other hand moved in a frenzy, scraping the loofa against his skin.  _Can't get clean, can't get clean, can't get clean_. Fury and dread flooded his bloodstream, raw and primal in their potency. Everything fell away until it was the panic, fury, and dread, along with the movements driven by them.  _Just let me die,_  Eren begged silently.  _Let me die. Let this stop. Please, please, let this stop_.

A hand caught his as it descended towards his leg, freezing it in place. A real, physical hand, warmed by more than just a memory. A familiar hand with slim fingers and a gentle grip. Another hand caught his other arm, directed his hands together, and let go so a single hand could grasp both. The stream of water sputtered to a halt. The missing hand reappeared as it settled against Eren's cheek, little more than a whisper of a touch of fingertips. Eren couldn't even find the strength to flinch away. He was too busy fighting to calm his thrumming heart and suck a breath down cooperating lungs.

"Eren, Eren, shh, it's alright. Calm down, it's alright. You're alright. He's not here. Neither of them are here. Shh… Don't hurt your throat. Relax. Breathe. I'm here. Focus on me. Breathe. Shh… shh…" Lithe, bony fingers stroked his soaking hair, light and soothing.

 _My throat?_  The realization slammed into Eren as the thought crossed his mind. I'm  _the one screaming._  His mouth clamped shut like his eyes, muffling the scream behind sealed lips. Without the screams, it was easier to breathe. It also made the blaze that was his throat leap to the front of his mind. The young teen choked down a pained sob as he let his head fall back to hit the wall of the tub.

All the while, the fingers continued to run through his hair and the words repeated in his ears. "I'm here now. I'm here. You're safe right now. They can't get to you, not here. Just breathe. Nice and deep. Slow breaths. You can do it, Eren. You're strong. You're so strong. You have unbelievable strength. Just breathe. Take your time. You'll be alright. I'll protect you. I'm here. I'm here."

Slowly, sea-green eyes tore themselves open. They fixed on gunmetal gray orbs, filled with heart-wrenching fear and concern that threatened to overflow as tears. "Eren…" Levi whispered, the word sweet on pale pink and slightly chapped lips.

The green-eyed teen ripped his eyes away from Levi to look at himself. The mindless scrubbing had turned his skin red and raw. Goosebumps covered his flesh. The skin above his right knee had already started to bruise from the force of the blows he had inflicted on himself.  _I still don't feel clean_. Eren pulled his legs in, wrapped his arms around them as best he could with Levi's hand, and pressed his forehead against his knees. S

hivers wracked his body, an aftermath of the hysteria. His heart gradually slowed. His ribcage gradually loosened. The world ceased to move. Slowly, the phantom hands fell away and Levi's hands took their place, one still loose over Eren's hands while the other rubbed circles on his back. Eren sucked air down through semi-cooperating lungs, which was accompanied by a shudder. He wasn't really sure how much time passed before he pulled his head away from his knees, eyes damp. Doubtlessly, it had been a long amount.

Once he did, Levi let Eren's hands go. His arms tentatively wrapped around the exhausted male's thin, fragile frame, pulling him to the edge. Eren had no strength to flinch away. It was all he could do to slump against the side and rest his head on Levi's shoulder, exhausted. His hands were spots of fire on Eren's icy skin. They were infinitely welcome. The voice in the chestnut-haired teen's ear was soothing in its' softness. Silky, dry hair brushed against his cheek, smelling of lavender and cotton. The scents and touches were far more grounding than his fist had been.

Gradually, the residual feelings faded away to be replaced by a numbness. Better than the one from the hospital, but numb all the same. Slowly, Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's neck as he settled his chin onto a shoulder, his eyes blown wide with shock. He needed something solid, something palpable. Levi was solid. Levi was real. Levi was safe despite the instinctive fear that threatened to choke Eren again, to pull him away. With all of the strength remaining in his exhausted being, Eren clung tighter. He wouldn't let go.

 _Still not clean_.

* * *

Darkness was the master when Levi woke. The only light in the room came from the half-parted curtains, allowing the sickly orange glow of street lamps in.  _Hm_ … Levi thought sleepily as he stared at the ceiling, his brain struggling to wake up enough to piece together why he had woken. There was something strange about the room, something he couldn't place. Almost like something missing, but he wasn't sure. It would take another minute or five to get his brain at a semi-functional level.

_What time is it?_

It took a moment of fumbling to find his phone.  **11:45**. Two hours of sleep.  _That's a good amount. Most I've had in a while._ It was still the same day, the fourth after Eren's release. So much had happened in a single day: Levi and Armin packing up Eren's belongings; Eren having a panic attack in the shower. Levi winced at the last thought. He could still see Eren, skin red like a lobster's while his eyes were bloodshot like someone coming off a high, but it was just from tears.

 _Damn… I'm just glad I got there when I did. But shit…_  A heavy sigh escaped Levi as his phone screen darkened once more.  _I wish I could help him more..._  His hand flopped against the floor, where he slept since he had given Eren the bed. He wasn't doing it to be creepy. He was doing it to be close to Eren in case he had a nightmare or a panic attack.  _Oh. Shit_.

Eren's breathing was missing. The rhythmic whisper of breath that lulled Levi to sleep at night, no matter when he succumbed to exhaustion or if he woke up in the middle of the night, was gone. He sat upright, eyes wide and wild, his mind on autopilot. Some more intelligent part of his consciousness grabbed his glasses.  _Eren. Where's Eren?_

A low, drawn out note caught his attention, almost like it was an answer to his mental question. To be more precise,  _it was a note from a violin_.

Levi pushed himself to his feet, not exactly awake, but conscious enough to put one foot in front of the other with some measure of stealth. His feet carried him out of his room, down the hall, and to the doorway of the room where the note had originated. Sleep-heavy fingers prodded the door open a little further so Levi could peer in with bleary eyes. The curtain was open.

Silvery moonlight dispelled a fair amount of the shadows. They wreathed around a figure in front of the window, outlining him in an ethereal glow. Eren stood tall, his head upturned, violin on his shoulder, and eyes closed. He looked so damn peaceful, like he did when he was still asleep. All of the worries, troubles, and fears from the last few weeks –  _years_  – had been stripped away, leaving Eren's face bared for the world. The tranquil expression was infinitely better than the one of barely-constrained hysteria that Eren had worn earlier that day during his panic attack in the shower.

A steady hand drew the bow across the strings once more. The note that it produced was low on the scale, but louder than the first note. The bow didn't stop. It moved slowly across the strings, producing a slow, melancholy tone. It became a melody that wouldn't have sounded out of place at a funeral. The notes slowly rose, but not too much. They stayed trapped within the confines of the lower half of the scale.

People, Levi understood for the most part. Instruments and the melodies people drew out on them;  _those_  were the words Levi understood, the true language he spoke. At that moment, Eren couldn't have said any louder or clearer than how his piece did. Trapped in their slow measure of speed.  _Trapped like Eren is. Trapped in his mind by the fears that torment him._

As Eren continued to draw his bow across the strings, his face started to crumple. Devastation, helplessness, and misery pulled his mouth down into a silent wail. The notes suddenly sped up, becoming a caged bird frantic for freedom it couldn't reach between the brass bars of its cage. Silent tears burned their way down Eren's cheeks, catching the glimmer of moonlight and glistening as they rolled down, down, down.

Hesitant feet carried Levi over until he stood in front of Eren. His eyes were still shut tight. He probably hadn't even noticed Levi's approach with the noise from his violin. Levi desperately hoped he didn't. In that moment, despite the tragedy that played itself out on Eren's face, he had never looked so beautiful, so open, so  _free_. All of the sadness he'd been bottling up finally poured out onto his face and into his music. A catharsis for his pain and sorrow. Something he desperately needed.

Despite the pain on Eren's face, he couldn't bear to look away because despite the pain, there was also peace and calm. The bow eventually started to slow. Then it finally stilled. The last note faded into silence as they stared at each other, green into silver. There was no surprise in Eren's eyes, as if he had been expecting Levi to be there when he opened his eyes. Tears continued to roll down Eren's cheeks. The younger, taller teen didn't flinch as Levi stepped closer, raised his hands to cup Eren's face, and brush the tears away. The only thing Eren did was let his hands fall to his sides.

The bow brushed against Levi's thigh, but it was a detail not necessary at the time, not even worth a scrap of his attention. With infinite patience, Levi slipped his arms around Eren's neck. "… Eren?" Internally, he cursed the way his voice trembled, but it barely mattered. The only important thing in the universe was the small smile that twitched Eren's lips up.

Full, pale pink lips split apart. "Le… vi… l…love… you…"

The pianist's mouth dropped open. For once, his emotions ran rampant across his face. First shock. Then jubilation. Levi pulled Eren down, pressing their bodies together. Eren didn't tense. Didn't flinch. He simply melted in to Levi's body. There was a moment of hesitation before Eren looped his arm around Levi's waist, but it happened nevertheless. Levi pulled back slightly so he could pepper Eren's face with tender, chaste kisses. At the first one, Eren tensed up, but only for a couple of seconds.

"… Love… y… ou…" Eren whispered as Levi pressed his lips all over Eren's face, breathing in the sweet, intoxicating scent of melons as he went. No sound had ever sounded so satisfying before. Nothing could have brought Levi as much relief then the sound of Eren's voice did. Even though it was raspy and weak from disuse, it was like an angel was speaking to Levi.  _Pure ecstasy._

"I love you too," he murmured back between pecks, "So damn much."

* * *

"Jean, what if she wasn't lying?" Cerulean orbs peered at Jean, waiting for an answer.

Jean glared at his fingers. "… Because she has no reason to change. No reason to tell the truth."

There was a quiet sigh from Armin. "Jean, don't you realize? She has  _every_  reason to change. She lost her son. Her only son. Her beautiful, intelligent, and  _perfect_  son. She just had to realize that she'd messed up. Based on what you've said, she sounded like she was sincere… I think you should give her a chance."

A few seconds passed before Jean turned his head to face Armin. Agony of the emotional variety churned in the amber pools that were his eyes. "… You think so?"

Armin offered up an encouraging smile in response. "Of course I do. Give her a chance Jean. She deserves it. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have called."

Jean swallowed. It was hard to do so around the knot in his throat, but he managed. "… Fine…" he mumbled with eyes downturned. "I'll be back in a minute."

He left Armin's room with a phone in hand and Armin's sunny, encouraging smile in mind. Jean left the Arlert's house and kept walking. For how long, he wasn't sure. He kept walking until he ended up in the park, in front of the swings. They were newer than he remembered, with fresh paint and fresh chains, but children still used them while parents pushed them or sat nearby, smiling and talking.  _I used to be one of them. A little kid without a care in the world_.

Jean turned away from the scene, walked further into the trees, and finally pulled his phone out. Hesitation struck as his thumb hovered above the call button.  _Do it. Don't do it. Call. Don't call._  His thumb fell onto the button as he brought the device up to his ear. Ringing filled his ear.  _Ring… ring… ring…_  Connection.

 _"… Jean?"_  Her voice was so damn hopeful, full of eager happiness.

"Hi Mom…" he whispered back. "… I think we need to talk. Face to face. Could you meet me sometime?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait my dahlings! Although, there's a good thing that happened during the wait!! One of the side stories, Levi's past, HAS BEEN COMPLETED! It just has to be edited. Don't expect it to be posted for a while though. I'll get to writing the other two ASAP. Anyways, thanks for reading (and the wait. Again) and have a lovely day/night/existence!


	20. Struggles

The aroma of ground coffee beans filled the air, accompanied by teas, fruits, and sweet breads. Clusters of people gathered around other tables. Jean turned his mug of coffee as he waited for his mother to arrive.  _Screw Armin for convincing me to do this. Fuck me for being an idiot. Oh hell, fuck the world_.

He slouched further into his chair, glowering at the table top.  _When's she gonna get here?_  A jangle of bells, nearly masked by the chatter of the people around him, brought his head up. There his mother stood, nervously brushing her hair behind her ear as she glanced around. She spotted him after a moment, a radiant smile instantly brightening her face.

His mother rushed over, not bothering to order anything. "Jean," she breathed in relief, as if she hadn't quite believed that he would be there.

"What?"

Her face fell at the cool reply, just for a moment, before she gathered herself. "I came to explain… and maybe to show that I'm not the woman, the mother I was." Jean leaned back in his seat, watching his mother closely. A jerk of his head made her suck a hesitant breath down.

"I'm sorry. Truly, I am. I'm an idiot, ya know? My parents gave me their belief that homosexuality was a sin. No one ever tried to change that for me so I went through life thinking that to be homosexual was to sin. And when I had you… When you were first born I thought I could put everything aside since you were my baby, my son. My only child. But… deep down I knew I couldn't.

"And when I find out… I was shocked. I had built up some false expectation for you and when you didn't follow that ideal… I freaked out. I was expecting you to be something you couldn't and I feel horrible for that. It was stupid of me to react like that. It was stupid of me to kick you out. I was an idiot, such an idiot. Do you… do you think you could forgive me? Ever?"

Sincerity was her mask; honor was the pin over her heart. She poured herself out to him.  _Oh shit, now I'm turning into a sappy poetic_. Despite the sarcasm in his head that came hand in hand with the desire to stand and leave, Jean remained rooted to his seat. "… How do I know you're not lyin'?"

His mother shrugged and leveled her gaze with her son's. "You could come home… see if you want to stay?"

"… I can try."

* * *

Eren plucked the strings of his violin. The short, percussive sounds were infinitely different from the normal long, melodious notes that would come from the bow, yet Eren enjoyed pizzicato. It added something completely different to the music. Levi watched as he snapped, plucked, and tapped the strings with a rhythmic pulse to it.

They hadn't spoken in a while, simply playing notes and listening to the other play. They played little ditties to each other, piano to violin. They were simply conversations with but with melodies in the place of words. Sometimes they were upbeat, sometimes melancholy.

Eren wasn't sure what to play. What he couldn't express with stilted words and chopped up sentences, he had played. All the sorrow, fear, happiness, frustration, anger, terror, joy, and excitement that he'd locked up for years. Everything he couldn't express quite right, he had gotten it out, at least for a while. He was at a loss for what to do. His fingers stilled on the strings.  _I know. And I think Levi knows it too. The song at least. After all, it was on that CD._

He picked his bow up. Levi quirked an eyebrow up at him but didn't say a word as he watched Eren set the bow across the strings. The younger boy shot a grin at his boyfriend, daring, confident, and courageous. "Play… with me… if… you can…"

Levi smirked back, just as confident, but far more reserved. "I dare say I'll be able to." Without any further delay, Eren started to play.

The notes were close together, quick but smooth as they bounced back and forth. They stayed low-to mid-range, the beginning of a spell. Levi caught on almost instantly. Piano notes smoothly melded in with the violin's notes. Their melodies twined together; easily complimenting each other and melding with their distinct tune to make a new, better, symphony of elegant string vibrations that managed to stay distinctive despite the perfect way they harmonized; just as Eren and Levi did with each other.

Brilliant green eyes flicked over to Levi, watching as his body swayed while fingers depressed keys with an ethereal elegance. Gray eyes flicked over to Eren as Levi's pale lips parted. It was amazing that Eren didn't falter when Levi started to sing along in a voice smoother than silk.

_"When your legs don't work like they used to before_   
_And I can't sweep you off of your feet_   
_Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?_   
_Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?_

_And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70_   
_And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23_   
_And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_   
_Maybe just the touch of a hand_   
_Well, me I fall in love with you every single day_   
_And I just wanna tell you I am_

_So honey now_   
_Take me into your loving arms_   
_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_   
_Place your head on my beating heart_   
_I'm thinking out loud_   
_That maybe we found love right where we are."_

Eyes shut, Eren couldn't see Levi, but he knew. He knew the way his eyebrows twitched; the way he leaned over the keys; the tilt to his head.  _I want to sing with him. I wish I could. But I can't._ The piano notes swelled in volume. The realization slammed into Eren:  _oh my God, we're playing our duet._

Eren lit up, the smile stretching further. Not too long ago, the possibility of every playing with Levi, of playing that much yearned for duet, what implausible. It had been an unattainable dream. Something that a broken person like him couldn't have.

Yet here they were, playing together with ease, as though they'd played together before. The room had become their world. A world with endless opportunities that always had a bright outcome. Good endings would always be able to be found at the end of their yellow brick road. And Eren had never been happier.  _I don't want this moment to end._

Emerald orbs opened slightly so they could gaze at Levi, instantly captured by his rhythmic sways. Eren smiled as the violin notes swelled a little louder.  _I'm glad I stayed. I'm glad I didn't lock him out._

_"But, baby, now_   
_Take me into your loving arms_   
_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_   
_Place your head on my beating heart_   
_Thinking out loud_   
_That maybe we found love right where we are_

_So, baby, now_   
_Take me into your loving arms_   
_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_   
_Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart_   
_I'm thinking out loud_   
_That maybe we found love right where we are_   
_Oh, baby, we found love right where we are_   
_And we found love right where we are."_

He never noticed Levi's father standing in the doorway, watching as the two brought the song to life in harmony. He never saw the smile on Mr. Rivaille's face, or the warmth in his eyes. He was too engrossed by the man before him, by Levi.

* * *

"They found him."

Eren glanced up from his sketchbook at the sound of Mikasa's voice. She'd been out for a good part of the day, leaving Eren, Armin, and Levi to their own devices. That inevitable led to one thing: video games. Armin paused the game so he could glance at his sister. "Found who?"

Eren knew the answer before it had passed Mikasa's lips. He knew it from the set of her face, the triumph in her eyes, the way she held herself. He  _knew_. He pressed his hands to his mouth, breath bated with anticipation.

"The man. They found him. His name is Dennis Barfield. He's in custody now." Levi's arm snaked over Eren's shoulder, pulling him in tight. The contact made him flinch, but he leaned into the embrace, the tense muscles already relaxing into Levi's form.

"Hey…" he whispered, barely loud enough for Eren to hear, "It's almost done. So close."

Eren let his head fall onto Levi's shoulder. "Yeah. Al…most the…re."

Mikasa settled down next to the two. A moment later, Armin joined them. They shifted until they touched at least two other people. It was like when they were younger, when they could circle up and lean in close as they chattered about anything and everything. It was that plus one.

Even though numerous things had been changed so drastically, some things hadn't. Them sitting together was still the same. The nerves Eren felt at being so close to others wasn't, but it was something he had to push through. He'd done it every day for six years. He could do it again.

"Guess what happened in my game the other day."

"… Did aliens descend from above and start abducting players?" Armin joked with a teasing bump to Mikasa's shoulder.

"You because a recruit for the mafia," Levi deadpanned.

Eren snorted at the flat, facetious remark too outlandish to stay quiet for. Three pairs of eyes turned to him, waiting for his guess. He drew back at the attention, their stares. What glittered in their eyes was the polar opposite of malic, yet he couldn't help but instinctively see harsh brown eyes in place of theirs. A shiver raced up his spine at the memory. The fingers on his shoulders gave a comforting twitch. The façade of memory dropped away so reality could reassert itself.

"And do try to guess something that at least vaguely relates to softball and or baseball," Mikasa muttered.

Armin and Eren shot each other roguish grins. "Me…teor."

Mikasa groaned as she thumped her head against Armin's shoulder. "No, no, no. I swear you three are doing this intentionally. I pitched a shutout."

They gave her pats and murmurs of congratulation. Mikasa tapped Armin on the knee. "Excellent!" The blonde clapped his hands together and rubbed them, a gleeful grin tugging at his lips. "I bought some books yesterday and they're  _amazing_. I got  _All Quiet on the Western Front_ , by Erich Remarque,  _Fahrenheit 451_  by Ray Bradbury, and  _Lord of the Flies_  by William Golding. I'm only a few chapters intro  _Fahrenheit_ , but it's  _so_  good thus far! You guys should read it."

"Hm, maybe after George R.R. Martin finishes the  _Song of Ice and Fire_  series," Levi muttered.

It was a pleasant surprise, hearing him joke. To Eren, it meant a lot that the socially-awkward boy he'd come to love felt comfortable around his friends to joke. "So… never?" Eren rasped.

Levi chuckled as Armin shook his head. "Levi, you don't know what you're missing out on!"

"Actually," the pianist interjected, "I read all of those last year."

"Oh… excellent! By the way, you're turn to share some news."

Levi gave a blank blink to each person, his features a perfect mask of emptiness as he presumably mulled over something. His fingers twitched against Eren's shoulder, a rhythm to his taps. "I'm guessing there's no passing?" The three heads shaking gave him his answer. "Fine. Well… I found out that I like duets. With violins. And the violinist."

Eren's cheeks heated with a faint blush as his two best friends leaned closer, seeking information for the implications that were more see-through than glass. "Well?" Mikasa demanded first, "What did you play?"

"'Thinking Out Loud' by Ed Sheeran. You're on, Eren."

The brunette balked. He didn't know what to say, not this time. Normally it just flowed out in a flurry of ASL. There was rarely a time when he was at a loss for news. It was one of those times. They knew everything that had happened. They knew about Levi. They knew about the beatings. They knew that his father was in jail, pending trial. They were aware of the rape.

They knew so many things that Eren had fought to keep a secret. He was putting a burden on them, one that was unfair to them. The entirety of it all was so… _._  It lit a fire – no, it  _stoked_  the embers, egging them on into a growing didn't realize he'd gone stiff until the slim, dexterous pianist fingers tugged at his hair.

"You alright?" Levi whispered into his ear.

With a shake of his head, Eren pushed up onto his feet, Levi and Mikasa's hands falling away. Trembling violently, Eren barely made it to the bathroom before he combusted. Fire ripped its way out from deep within.

The sickening thud as his fist connected with the wall rang in his ears, right along with the heavy thumps of his heart, the rush of blood. Pain exploded in his knuckles. Teeth clamped onto his lower lip as he choked back a scream, one of anger, frustration, and pain. There was no sadness, no despair, not this time.

Back pressed against the same wall he'd just punched, Eren slid down to the floor. He wanted to punch something else. He wanted to hit something, to break something. The entirety of it, the whole of  _everything_ was infuriating. Eren pressed his head to his knees.

Fingers tore at his scalp as he tried to keep it in, that unquenchable thirst for justice and vengeance. It was terrifying, that fury, that thirst which had spawned from something so pathetically irrational. They sent chills down his spine and shocked him to the core, but it wasn't enough to make those feelings die out.

When had that process of thought started? When had he found fury instead of acceptance that had come from years of the pressure to remain silent?  _When did it all change? When did everything go to shit?_

A small hand somewhat rough with callouses settled on his shoulder. Eren flinched back, the touch sickening even though he  _knew_  the hand and the person connected to it. He knew it but it all felt wrong,  _so wrong_  with that rage that threatened to choke him. _I'm tired of this. Tired of being scared all the time. Dammit!_

"Stop! Go… away." Eren spat. For this first time in years, his voice was loud and clear, no traces of roughness to it. The consequences were instant when pain seared its way through his vocal chords. His breath hitched, shortening abruptly like it sometimes did.

The hands came back, two different ones joining the first. This time, Eren didn't lash out. Instead, he bit on his thumb, blocking any other words from spewing out. "It's alright," Mikasa whispered, "It's alright. We're here. We aren't leaving."

"Be as upset or angry as you want," Armin added, "We'll be here. We'll listen. We'll help. You helped us when we needed strength, so we'll do the same. This is your battle, but know that you aren't alone. We're with you on this, so don't push all of us away. You don't have to hide it anymore."

"We love you," Levi whispered, "Know that. We know it's bad, but it gets better. It did for a kid I knew at an orphanage. It did when I was in foster care. I… I promise, it'll get better."

Eren choked back something that could have been a sob, or perhaps it was a laugh. He wasn't sure. His friends were comforting and careful around him. He couldn't help but hate it. It was something he wanted and something he didn't. Everything was so strange. "You… three… per…sistant."

"Of course we are," Mikasa grumbled, "That's what friends are supposed to be, dammit. C'mon, let's go shoot some people up in  _Borderlands_  and nuke some ice cream. Talk it out if you want, but if you don't want to now, we'll listen when you're ready."

Eren pulled his head off his knees and looked at each friend in turn, a weak smile lighting his face up at the thought of a distraction. "So…unds… good."

* * *

They sat in Levi's room, just the two of them. The door was shut. They'd left the Arlert's home an hour before, their goodbyes long despite being temporary. Eren was unusually quiet, almost unnerving really. Levi didn't push it. He simply sat on the floor by Eren, both sipping off cups of black tea as he waited for the younger boy to talk. Levi swirled the dark liquid around in his cup, watching it as he waited. In his peripheral he could see Eren staring into the dark, steaming brew.

Sea green eyes parted from their fixed point of the cup to meet Levi's gaze. "I was… an… angry."

"I know."

Eren shook his head while disappointment danced within the green depths of his eyes like sunlight off the ocean. "I… wanted… to… to hurt… something... And it… sca…red me. Re… remind… of… dad." Eren rasped. He'd set his tea down, pulled his knees in, and wrapped his arms around them. Grass green orbs focused on something far away or perhaps nothing at all. Levi's fingers bushed against Eren's arm, aiming to be comforting.

Flesh smacked together as Eren lashed out, slapping the hand away. There was a sharp intake of air as Eren froze. Rigidly, his head turned to face Levi. He didn't find it surprising, Eren's reaction. It was something that had been bound to happen.  _It's amazing he didn't lash out like that before_.

He watched Eren's face, watched his eyes. It was the first time seeing Eren genuinely  _furious_. nEyebrows furrowed down, teeth bared, eyes sparking with anger. He bristled like a cat drenched with water, just without the claws.

It lasted for five long, quiet seconds of them simply watching each other, burning green with cool silver. The burn leeched out as other things touched some rational, cooler part of Eren's brain. First shock, followed by horror and shame, a crushing amount of the latter. Even someone as shit at reading people as Levi was could see it clearly as it flooded Eren's crumpling features.  _He's so emotional, so easy to read._

"I… I'm so… sorry," Eren choked, voice cracking. He looked at Levi, expecting an answer.

"Idiot," Levi sighed, shaking his head. He held out a hand to Eren, the same one he'd smacked away. "Don't apologize. It's something you needed to do. You're upset, angry. Who the fuck  _wouldn't_  do that?"

"I… hi… hitting… you wha… what if I… turn out… like dad…? I… sh…ould…n't have… It was…"

"You won't," Levi interrupted. "You won't end up like him. You'd have to be a Grade A idiot to follow his path, which you're  _not_. Just because you hit someone or drink a bit doesn't mean you'll end like that piece of dog shit."

Eren turned his whole body to face Levi, narrowly missing knocking over their cups of cooling tea. His hands slapped the wooden floor between them as he leaned close, frustration and anxiety clashing in his eyes. They were so close that Levi could feel the younger teen's breath on his lips. It took all the self-control he had to not wrap Eren in his arms.

"I… I still…  _hit you_ … f…for no… re… reason… no… no… ex… excuse… So… don't… br… brush… it… off… like… it was… no… no-" Coughs abruptly broke into Eren's little rant; halting words as his face screwed up in pain. The coughs sounded strange, as though they were catching in his throat before forcing their way out. A hand flew to his throat, gingerly pressing against the column of skin and tissue and Eren continued to cough into the palm of his other hand.

Levi grabbed Eren's shoulder's, alarmed at the cough. "Eren, Eren are you alright? Do I need to call the hospital?"

The brunette shook his head furiously, chest heaving. Levi tugged Eren closer, quiet as he listened to Eren hack and gasp while his shoulders shook against Levi's chest. His fingers traced Eren's spine, going over each bump of his vertebrae. The coughing dissolved into wheezing after a few minutes before it disappeared altogether, settling back to a natural, steady rhythm of breathing.

"You alright?" Lips parted against his shoulder. "Don't. Do it and I'll kick your ass. Out of affection." He received a nod in return. "Good. This something that happens often?" Eren shook his head. "Sometimes?" A nod. "When you talk too much, too fast?" Another nod. "Idiot…" Levi sighed.

He buried his face into Eren's neck. The aroma of melons clung to him and filled Levi with every breath. "You don't have to talk. I might be shit at sign language, but it isn't worth making it easy for me when you hurt yourself." Soft, breathy laughter whispered by Levi's ear. "Don't fucking laugh," Levi grumbled. He meant to come across strict, but it failed when he softened as Eren kept chuckling in his ear. "Brat…"

"Mmm…"

"… Fuck. My tea is cold." Eren started to laugh again, shaking Levi along with him.  _He's doing well considering… but how is he gonna do with people he's less comfortable with, ones he spends less time with? He's more or less fine with Armin, Mikasa, Gramps, Dad, and I. He's okay around Zoe and Petra. But…_

* * *

**From Zoe Hanji:**   
**Leeeeeeeeeevi my darling! Wake up~~~~~ :D**   
**Received: 6:32 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**To Zoe Hanji:**   
**Fucking Christ you shitface what the hell do you want at the asscrack of dawn? I was finally asleep**   
**Sent: 6:34 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**From Zoe Hanji:**   
**Oh, the "asscrack of dawn" was a while ago. You missed it : P**   
**Received: 6:35 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**To Zoe Hanji:**   
**And I don't give a flying fuck**   
**Sent: 6:37 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**From Zoe Hanji:**   
**Ready for school to start on Monday?**   
**Received: 6:39 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**To Zoe Hanji:**   
**…what the hell do you think?**   
**Sent: 6:42 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**From Zoe Hanji:**   
**Public isn't so bad. Aside from the kids doing coke in the bathroom occasionally, but still!**   
**Received: 6:44 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**To Zoe Hanji:**   
**Sounds like its bad if that's happening.**   
**Sent: 6:45 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**From Zoe Hanji:**   
**Do you think Eren's ready to go back? To school I mean**   
**Received: 6:49 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**To Zoe Hanji:**   
**I don't know**   
**Sent: 6:52 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**From Zoe Hanji:**   
**You know Levi. I know you know. Tell me. Please?**   
**Received: 6:54 AM, August 31st, 2013**

**To Zoe Hanji:**   
**… I don't think he's ready**   
**Sent: 7:00 AM, August 31st, 2013**

* * *

Levi woke with a start, drenched with cold sweat while his heart pummeled his ribs. Glimpses of the dream slipped through his mind: a window; broken arm; agony; two men, one a police officer; a social worker; wide eyes with pupils that masked the iris. He knew what it was, even if he didn't remember all the details, from dream or reality. _Sioux Falls._

Levi draped an arm over his face. He hadn't remembered, not yet. All that came of that time were glimpses and flickers that remained trapped in dreams.  _Fuck… It's been six years. How much longer until they stop?_  He would go to school in a few hours with Armin and Mikasa, exhausted and haunted by nightmares half-remembered. Eren was going to live with the Arlert's once they legally adopted him. Gramps would homeschool him.

The world would keep on turning.

Sleeping in his room would be strange without the breaths of another that he'd become accustomed to. Levi glanced up at the bed. An arm dangled over the side, fingers twitching against the bedframe. The sleeping teen hadn't woken from a nightmare, not yet. It was a relief, knowing that he was getting a rare, sound few hours of sleep.

 _It's odd, caring for someone so much. That's something I didn't think would happen, not again. I guess staying here so long with Zoe, that crazy woman, made it… easier. Maybe. Or maybe it's just because of Eren. Oh hell, I don't fucking know. I'm not the most aware of shit like that._  He pressed his fingers to Eren's warm hand.  _I'm going soft. Not necessarily a bad thing._

* * *

The screams dragged him out of a half-conscious daze that he'd managed to slip into. He lurched up before he'd quite realized what was going on. Strong palms pinned Eren's flailing arms by his sides. Levi knelt above him. In the faint light of dawn, he could see the fear and anger that screwed Eren's face up as he tried to break free of Levi's grip to flee from an unseen enemy – or perhaps it was to _strike_.

"Eren, Eren, Eren, shh, it's alright. It's a nightmare. You're fine. Everything's fine. Shh…"

The words were familiar, ones that had been spoken to him one night, years prior. Eyelids snapped apart. Greens and grays locked. The body beneath him remained rigid, faint tremors shaking him. "You… Dad… hit…you."

"Don't talk. Don't talk. Breathe. Relax. He didn't hit me. I'm here, okay? So don't worry. I'm gonna let you go. Not leaving, just letting go, okay?" He let go of Eren and slid off his body onto the other side of the bed. Thin arms wrapped around Levi as Eren latched on. They clung to each other, warm bodies pressed close together.  _This reminds me of Spokane._

They only moved when the alarm Levi had set jarred their silence. "You good?" Eren nodded. The response let Levi release a soft sigh of relief. "Good. That's good."

* * *

Eren slid into the seat on his side of the glass partition. It wasn't exactly private, but he  _was_ in a prison.

Round stools were bolted into the ground. The partitions were crisscrossed with some kind of wire. A white bar ran across on both sides, something where they could set their elbows or belongings. Metal sections hid the people to the left and right. Somewhat. The phone hung on the left side. Other people were seated at other stools in the long line. He didn't recognize them and they didn't recognize him.

Armin stood beside him, nervously chewing on his lip. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Eren rolled his eyes with a sigh. It had been three months since he'd moved in with the Arlert's. . Two since he'd started kickboxing with Mikasa as a way to take out the built up aggression without hurting those around him. One since his father and Dennis Barfield had been convicted and sentenced.

It was twenty years for Barfield and chemical castration. For his father, he had seventy years without parole. Basically a life sentence at his age. Those were their sentences, not to mention monetary payments to Eren, all of which would be put in a trust fund accessible when he came of age.

Barfield, Eren would never visit. His father on the other hand…  _He deserves at least one. He's still my father_. Orange uniforms began to pass by on the other side of the glass partition, shuffling to their respective booths.

One inmate near the end of the line stopped and plopped onto the seat in front of the two teenagers. His brown mane was unkempt between the grease, dirt, and snarls. He had a rough, scraggly beard growing now. Glasses still adorned his face. Orange didn't suit him well in place of his white coats and professional attire, but it was all he would wear for seventy years.

Eren pulled the phone from its hook to hold between him and Armin. The blonde would speak for Eren if he ran out of paper. Baleful, blood-shot brown eyes glared at them as Grisha ripped the phone from the way and pressed it to his ear.  _"What do you shits want?"_

 **Hi Dad.**  Eren pressed the scribbled message up against the glass.

"Hi Mr. Jaeger," Armin added. His father's scowl deepened, but nothing more.

**How are you?**

_"Its prison, dumbass. How the fuck do you think I'm doin considering I'm stuck in this shithole for seventy years? Wait, you_ don't _think. Nothin' but a mindless queer."_

Eren flinched back. He'd expected quips like that, but it was still a surprise to hear such hateful, venom filled words be directed at him from his own father. Despite that, the wary teen managed to scrawl another message to press against the glass with steady hands.

**I'm not a mindless queer. I'm your son.**

Grisha snorted and leaned back, twirling the phone cord between dexterous fingers meant for surgery.  _"And I'm the sugar plum fairy. You might be my biological son, but I'll never recognize you as mine. Not again. Not after your idiotic move got my wife killed."_  The green-eyed teen's hands clenched tight, nails digging into his palms as he bit the inside of his cheek.  _It wasn't my fault… It wasn't my fault that that car hit her's._

 _"Fuck. I wish you'd been in that car with her. Least I wouldn't have had to see you become the disgrace you are. You were such a promising kid. Now you're nothing."_  Armin's hand settled on Eren's shoulder. Eren was trembling, but not from  _fear_  as he scrawled out another message.

**I'm not the disgrace. YOU are. You're the one that's in jail. All I've done for the last six years is try to be the perfect little son for you. I let you beat me, torment me, put me in the hospital, and wreck my life. I never said a word. I didn't even tell Mikasa or Armin. I'm done with you trying to tear me down. You might be my father but you're one sick piece of work, taking it out on a kid. I came here to give you a chance. A chance you don't deserve.**

Eren slapped the paper against the glass, leaf-green eyes sparking with resentment. Brown eyes lazily followed the words. Eren knew when he reached the halfway point when he sat up while his eyes narrowed into slits.

When Grisha focused back on the teens on the other side of the glass, Eren suddenly remembered why he'd gone from a boisterous, social, aggressive kid to the meek, passive, and quiet teen he'd become.

His father's hands slapped the metal top on his side, teeth bared in a vicious snarl.  _"Fuck you, you little shit!"_  The shouts were audible even though the phone was dangling beneath the metal top on his side.  _"You think you can come in here and talk to me like that? I fucking raised your pansy ass! Don't you da-"_

Armin slammed the phone on its hook. It only made Grisha angrier. A fist smashed against the glass partition. It couldn't hit them and the glass wouldn't shatter, but it didn't stop either teen from reflexively recoiling.

Another orange uniform came into view. It was another man, this one easily six and a half feet of pure muscle. His massive skull was barren except for the small, buzzed Mohawk. His skin was heavily inked. The man glanced at Eren and Armin, green eyes surprisingly concerned for such a brawny man. Especially one in prison.

Abruptly, the man grabbed Grisha and started to tug him away. Even though his father struggled, he had no hope of breaking free. They had almost disappeared out of view when guards rushed past, armed with batons and Tasers.

Eren turned away, unable to watch. "… Oh my God," Armin whispered, "Your Dad is crazy. Has he always been that bad? Please tell me the truth Eren, please. I need to know." A hesitant nod gave Armin all the answers he needed. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

Armin grabbed his backpack and Eren grabbed the paper, which he crumpled to stuff into his pocket. "Yeah…" His friend could only shake his head.

No one looked at them as they walked over to the door except for the guards, who nodded in their direction. They pushed out into the hallway where the voices dropped away, leaving only the soft taps of three pairs of shoes. "Let's go watch a movie or something, okay? We have enough money for four tickets and some popcorn. I'm sure Gramps and Mr. Rivaille won't mind."

"S… Sure."

"Hey! Can you two hold up for a mo?" The two friends twisted around at the voice. A young woman stood a few feet away, blonde hair thrown over her shoulder in a sloppy braid,  _Hunger Games_  style.

"Whew, thanks, I almost thawt I'd lawst ya!" Her southern was unusually thick for the west coast, but it was still understandable. More or less.

"Can we help you?" Armin inquired. "If she's a reporter, let's turn around and keep walking," he hissed quietly to Eren. Despite the situation they'd just walked out of, Eren couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"I'm sorrah! Ya'll the kids that my husband was gonna help?"

Eren and Armin glanced at each other.  _Husband!?_  "Ah… probably."

"Well, since ya'll was the only ones to my right, I sure hopes so or my Todd somehow got the wrong man! That would'a been  _awkward_! Oh, I'm sorry! My name's Grace. Grace Palmer! Pleased to meet ya'll!" Eren and Armin shot startled glances at each other before they stuck their hands out to shake Grace Palmer's hand to give her and her husband their thanks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once more~ Okay, I'm gonna keep this short because I should've been out cold about an hour ago but Bones....! First of all, pertaining to their sentences... I did some research but couldn't get anything definite so I made those up. Secondly, I hope Eren's progress is believable and I apologize if it's not quite what it should be. Then again, he hasn't interacted with groups yet...  
> OH GODS IT'S COMING TO A CLOSE. *sobs quietly* But yes, have a magnificent day/night/existence!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned that there are some touchy things, triggers that may include self-harm, rape references, violence, substance abuse, etc.

**October**

“Mikasa… you… didn’t… have to… come.”

“Of course I had to come. I want coffee too. And I need to pick up some things in the area, so I might as well come with.”

Even though it seemed like he didn’t want Mikasa there, he was infinitely glad she had refused to take no for an answer. He knew it would be a cold day in hell before that happened though and the thought of the eternal flames freezing over brought a smirk to his face.

It was easier to be in public with someone beside him. To be around large crowds where random touches happened often with so many bodies packed together. It was nerve-wracking. Terrifying. Somewhere deep inside, Eren couldn’t let that terror go, not yet. People he knew, ones he spent a lot of time around, they were fine. Otherwise…

Eren shivered, covering it up by vigorously rubbing his arms. The winds of winter were coming in early. Hands jammed into pockets they strode through the mostly vacant streets, sneakers slapping the concrete with their own little beat.

They didn’t talk. There was no point in it. Mikasa wasn’t one for words while Eren could only choke out so many before the agony ripped through his throat or the coughs jarred him. For them the silence was more comfortable anyway and something easily slipped into without thought or effort.

The further they trekked into the city the more people they saw. With the people came that uncomfortable feeling in his chest, a constricting weight on his ribs. One brushed by, a distracted “Sorry,” called over their shoulder as they kept walking.

Eren merely drew his limbs in closer, his stomach flipping, an absolutely  _infuriating_  reaction. Shaking fingers curled in, nails biting into the flesh of his palm as more people began to pass by; began to  _touch_  him. It was disgusting, even through the layers of clothes everyone wore.  _Two months isn’t enough to dull the fear._  

Instead of focusing on the people Eren bowed his head to stare at their shoes, green, black, and white moving to an unbreakable rhythm: left, right, left, right. Cracks, leaves, scraps of paper. They all disappeared underfoot. It was a way to cross the city with a nearly empty mind, momentarily free from the frozen bars of fear that caged it. Left, right, left, right, left, right. Left. Right.

“Eren. We’re almost there.” The teen pried his eyes from the concrete beneath their feet, suddenly aware of their surroundings as the mindless, self-induced haze dissipated like rain on a hot summer day. If only Mikasa hadn’t said anything.

So. Many. People.

When had the streets become so crowded? The bumps were constant. Eren’s eye twitched. The crescents in his palms grew deeper as he somehow clenched his hands tighter, trying to keep himself together. Such actions used to be out of anger. Now they were of fear. Then Eren noticed something familiar. A thing he was well acquainted with in a bone-chilling way. He knew the street. He knew the shops.

He  _knew_  one of the _alleys_.

People parted around him, a stream around a rock, as his feet froze, rooted to the pavement. _No_. Nothing could form in the dry cavern of his mouth but he tried to swallow anyway, choking on the boulder in his throat. A head of increasingly lengthy black hair turned back as she noticed her companion no long walked beside her.

“… Eren?” Garbled and indistinct, a voice from an underwater domain to Eren’s blood-filled ears. There was a booming in his chest, huge bass drums being hammered. Shriveling lungs fought for air that wouldn’t arrive.  _Not another one… I’ve gotta go_.

Blind with panic and rage he pushed his way through the crowd, away from that damnable street.  _Go, go, GO!_  The world whipped by him, a blur of confused faces, indistinct voices and buildings that ran together as he bolted going somewhere,  _anywhere_. Anywhere but there.

* * *

**November**

_Frigid air nipped at his nose, cheery red from the cold that brought the pure white winter wonderland he walked through. The wind sliced through his thick blue jacket, but his mitten-clad hand was warm as he clutched a hand familiar in ways that he couldn’t quite remember, just outside of the limits of his memory._

_All he knew was that he held her hand tight so they wouldn’t lose each other, not again. “Levi.” Her voice was a whisper, the exact tone of it gone in the maze of his mind. A deafening dry pop split through his brain. It skipped forward, a damaged record jumping ahead to the intact parts._

_Cold powder burned at his knees as he knelt in the drift. The pristine blankness of the snow ruptured. Red took its place._ Everywhere _. In the snow, on her face, staining her clothes, on his_ hands.  _“M---!”_

Burning gray eyes snapped open as Levi lurched into consciousness. There was a rat-tat-tat against his ribs as adrenaline surged through him. Faint tremors filled his palms as he raised them, bleary eyes focusing on the pale,  _clean_  skin.

He could see his hands as they were, free of blood, yet he could envision those tiny, red-stained hands with such terrifying clarity. There was a feeling in his eyes, one he hadn’t felt recently, one he was unaccustomed to. It was always hard, choking back tears after dreams of  _her_ , but he managed once again.  _I’m not gonna go back to sleep tonight_.

Levi glanced over at the teen beside him who slept on with his back to the ceiling, head turned to Levi, and soft lips parted slightly. Eren sighed, but didn’t even twitch as Levi slid his leg out from beneath the tan, muscled limb flung over his own. Moving the arm slung across his chest was a bit trickier, but Eren was a sound sleeper when he wasn’t plagued by nightmares.  _Oh hell, we’re both fucked up._  

The slightest thud graced his ears when he rose from the bed. Before he left, Levi turned to his slumbering boyfriend, his limbs all akimbo as he sprawled across the bed he now had all to himself. Fingertips grazed over the smooth skin of his forehead, pushed back strands of chocolate-colored, melon-scented hair.

Lips ghosted along next, resting in the center of his forehead for a moment as Levi breathed in the sweet, familiar scent. “Sleep well, my brat.” Levi left the bedroom on silent feet, cracking the door behind him as he headed for some sort of remedy to soothe his aching heart.

* * *

**November**

Muted bars of a melody Eren didn’t quite recognize caressed his mind, easing him into consciousness. He knew what was missing before he’d truly registered the lack of warmth next to or around his body: Levi was gone.  _That explains the piano. He must have had a nightmare.._.

A massive yawn split his jaws as he stretched until joints cracked and his toes hung over the edge of the bed. Only then did he crawl out of Levi’s bed. Red numbers bore into him as he made the bed up, twitching the covers into place:  **7:45 AM**. _Damn. And the whole point of weekends is to sleep in ‘til noon. Especially after going to bed at two in the morning_.

The five hours of sleep were certainly worth it though. Just holding Levi close as they whispered to each other – Levi in his smooth, crude way, Eren in his halting patterns – to say anything that came to mind as their fingers roamed over each other’s backs. Those were  _their_  moments, known only to them and the stars that served as their witnesses.

A grin lit Eren’s face up as he smoothed the covers out.  _And they say kids our age are too young to know love. We know. We know better than some._  The piano fell silent for a few moments, its’ last notes fading into silence before another song took their place: “Moonlight Sonata”.

 _I need a shower… Which drawer does Levi keep his shirts in?_  Attempting to be as quiet as humanely possible, Eren started to poke through Levi’s drawers, searching for a shirt he could borrow. The first few contained neatly folded jeans, shorts, socks, and underwear. Two were barren.  _If Levi had to, he could pick right up, pack most of his possessions into a few suitcases, and leave._  

Hooked fingers pulled out another drawer. The contents were far from what he expected. A beautiful, soft-looking yellow blanket lined the bottom. Several items were carefully set on it, their placing lovingly precise. Two piano keys ivory and ebony in color rested on the bed of golden fabric. Nearby sat an old VCR tape, one with “Oct. 9, ‘96” scrawled in a delicate, loopy cursive. A cassette tape sat beside it. The label read “Recording ‘95” when he flipped it over.

A small stack of papers sat near the tapes. Musical scores had been printed out across them, the black ink still stark. Classical music consisted of the first few compositions in the stack, but there were some more modern ones that looked like they’d been torn from a music book. Adjacent to the papers was a stack of photographs. Eren’s fingers itched to touch them, to look through and see what images had been printed upon their glossy surfaces.

Instead, he moved on, inspecting the other contents of the drawer. Inquisitive greens fell onto a silver surface that caught the light. Two tiny wings were etched into the surface. A locket.  _Who’s inside?_  Curiosity plagued him, urging him to look in the locket, leaf through the pictures, to understand why Levi had a drawer with items that any other person would find seemingly random, worthless even. But Eren knew Levi. The items  _had_  to be important to Levi.

If he kept them in such a place; arranged with such care. He almost didn’t notice the last item inside until he moved to shut the drawer. A narrow piece of yellow fabric sat next to the locket, folded up into a rectangle. _A scarf._ Unable to quench his thirst for answers any longer, Eren pulled the fabric from its place. The butter-yellow wool was soft from countless washes over the years.  _Whose was this_?

“Eren?”

His head snapped up. When had the music stopped? Surprised, grassy orbs found equally startled cloudy ones staring at him. Levi went rigid, fingers locked around the edge of the door. His face was a smooth, blank mask, dead of emotions. Still on his knees, holding the scarf, Eren opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He couldn’t find anything to say, not with how barren Levi’s face appeared. “… Levi?”

His mask shattered into a billion pieces, metal shrapnel flying everywhere as it all poured out, no longer confined to his eyes. The emotions played across his face, painstakingly apparent: startled anger; bittersweet joy; wistful sorrow; raw torment.

Levi took a half step back, right into the doorway. Back pressed to the wood he slid down as the mishmash of emotions ran rampant across his face for the first time. It was startling, seeing Levi’s composure break so _completely_. Levi slid down to the ground, his eyes locked on the scarf cradled in Eren’s hands.

Eren draped the scarf over the drawer and scrambled over to Levi, eyes wide with frantic fright.  _Oh God, what did I_ do _?!_  “L... Levi!” He could see them up close, silent soldiers marching down his cheeks. Levi Rivaille  _was crying_.  _What did I_ do _?_  Mind racing, Eren did the only thing he could think of, something Armin, Mikasa, and Levi had done so often for him.

Sun-browned arms slipped around pale, broad shoulders, steady without sobs that would shake his body. Levi was strong, even when crying. He still held it back, even when Eren pressed his head onto his own shoulder. They dripped onto his shoulder, those silent tears, few in number, but potent in their existence. Each one cracked Eren’s heart a little more as they soaked into his t-shirt, a reminder that  _he_  was the reason Levi was crying, even if it was only a bit.

He couldn’t hold his love close enough; couldn’t comfort him enough; couldn’t stop those tears well enough. All Eren could do was clutch onto Levi, halting, disjointed fragments of words falling from his lips with every slow-falling tear. “I’m so… so sorry… Levi…  _sorry_ … I… didn’t… mean to! P… promise… So… sorry.”

After a moment, two trembling hands connected to strong, stable arms wrapped around Eren, warm chests pressing closer together until every contour of the other’s chest that pressed against Eren could be felt. But Levi didn’t say a thing. Thin, pale pink lips remained sealed as the last of Levi’s tears dripped onto the tiny damp patch on Eren’s shoulder.

Whatever Eren had found must have been important, so important that it could open Levi’s strong, emotionless shell to reveal the boy inside who locked everything away, keeping himself reserved. The person locked inside was showing completely for the first time, out in the open for the world to see. The emotions he’d locked away in the strongbox of his heart for God knew how long had escaped, even for a while.

It was a phenomenon with Eren as its witness. Most would be delirious with joy to witness a phenomenon of any sort. Eren only found himself sick with apprehension as he clutched Levi, fighting back tears of his own.

* * *

**November**

_He’s avoiding me_.

They had sat down on Levi’s bed to watch a movie in silence, which although wasn’t unusual for them was far too tense to be called normal. Instead of sitting in the middle, Levi sat at the foot of the bed. Instead of curling up next to Eren like usual he kept his distance. The one time Eren had tried to touch Levi, tried to coax an answer out of his boyfriend, Levi had disappeared into the bathroom without a word.

After that, Eren had shrunk in on himself. Shame. Anger. Both towards himself.  _Idiot! You shouldn’t have gone poking around in his things, even if you did need a shirt!_  Sea-colored orbs flicked over, studying Levi.  _I wish I could read body language_. Unfortunately, Eren was absolute shit at reading people.

Those cloudy eyes, ever changing in their shade, were focused straight ahead, never peeling away from the screen. Heaving a heavy, internal sigh, Eren gave the appearance of paying attention to the movie once more, never quite absorbing what he was seeing or hearing. His thoughts were a million miles away, locked in worry and self-doubt as he raked his mind for some sort of explanation. 

 _I fucked up. I fucked up so much. Oh God, why did I have to go looking for a shirt? Why didn’t I just fucking ask him where his were? What if I ruined everything, looking at those things, making him cry? What if he wants nothing to do with me?_  

He couldn’t turn his attention to  _Zombieland_ , with its’ junkie zombies and its’ mind-numbing jokes. The thoughts just ripped into him, lead shackles that dragged him back down into a pit of murky goop that sucked at him, tugging him down with deadly, imperceptible leisure. The same dark murk that had held him in its’ clutches for the last six years.

There was so much doubt in that pit of despair; so much self-loathing. It was maddening, listening to those thoughts, yet Eren couldn’t block them out or push them away. Not on his own. But Levi was closed off. Armin was in the middle of a date. Mikasa had a game. Gramps was playing bridge. 

 _They wouldn’t want me to bother them. I’m nothing but a dead weight. A screw up. I can’t do anything right. No wonder Dad beat me. He knew. God, I’m such a useless idiot. Levi’s gonna hate me. He has every right. He_ should  _hate me. He should want me to stay away forever. Maybe he does._  

Credits started to scroll across the screen, meaningless letters to Eren’s blank eyes. He saw Levi stand. He watched Levi disappear into the bathroom once more, hands clenched tight.  _I should just go. Go for them. Go so they can be happy._  

On flimsy legs with a cumbersome weight in his chest, Eren slipped out of the house where he no longer belonged.  _I can’t go home. Home is no more. I can’t go to Armin’s. No one’s there. I can’t go to Levi’s. He hates me. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. Why would he?_  

Eren shivered as he somehow managed to stumble half-blind down the sidewalk. Chilly November air nipped at his arms through the thin material of his long-sleeved shirt and jeans. In his rush he’d left his jacket and hat.  _It doesn’t matter._  A storm was brewing up far off, already gray with the rain packed inside its’ bloated body. The drums of thunder rolled, echoing through the city as the wind started to pick up.

Eren flinched, nails digging into his palms as it brought grim reminders with it of nights spent alone, body throbbing with injuries he had earned by being a disgrace of a child. Phantom fingers clutched at his arms and legs, scraped along his back, jabbed into his hips. Eren hugged himself, trying to find some scrap of comfort or warmth as he let his feet take him where they might.

It wasn’t until he saw the familiar gate that he realized where he was. He almost fell into his usual swing, clutching the cold, metal chains with an iron grip.  _Where’s that confidence now, huh? That bravery, that progress you made? All down the drain, right where it should be. Nothing, but a meek little bitch._  

A muted sound of misery passed his lips. He wanted to smother it all in an air of confidence, how he used to. He couldn’t. Those days were gone. Eren bowed his head, staring at the tracks his shoes – which he’d somehow managed to remember – made in the dust as they dragged. Lightning split through the air, raising the airs on his body, yet he stayed right where he was as the looming tempest grew ever-closer.

  _Maybe Dad_ should’ve _killed me when he had the chance. I’m nothing but an insecure, worthless, broken idiot._  His phone vibrated against his leg. He knew who it was. He didn’t answer.  _He’s probably fed up with me._  Armin, Mikasa, Levi. They were the glue that held him together. Yet Levi was the strongest, furthest-reaching one that cemented the pieces of him into a mostly whole being. 

 _What if he goes away? What if he can’t help me keep together? I’m broken. Who wants something that’s broken? I’m useless. Worthless. Nothing. I’m back to being nothing. Or maybe I was always like this and they just covered it up with love. I’m so pathetic._  

Eren moaned and buried his head into his hands, trembling with feelings he couldn’t put into words.  _Stop, stop, stop… Why won’t these thoughts stop?_  Agony clawed at his chest, drove him off the swing for a short second to pick something up. Something that would get the pain out, even if it was just for a moment.

The object was small but freezing, the jagged edges digging into his palm.  _Just make it stop_. Tears dripped down his cheeks, staining his shorts as he pressed the sharpest end of the rock to his wrist, bringing forth a trail of rubies to join the colorless tears.

* * *

**November**

Levi stared at his phone. Six calls. Twelve texts. Eren hadn’t answered a single one. It was agonizing, not knowing where he was  _again_.  _Shit. I screwed up._  Somehow, when he had drawn into himself to repair that facade, he hadn’t quite realized that doing so would drive the brunette away. Levi paced across his room, sick with concern.

It was getting dark. The storm that had been brewing for hours was right overhead, blotting out the few sunrays that might have graced the city for a few more minutes. Leaves trembled in the wind. It had yet to start raining, but it was inevitable. Far-off flashes of lightning could be seen. Levi called Eren again. The phone rang. And rang.  _And rang_. He didn’t answer.  _That’s it. I’m gonna look for him_.

Umbrella tucked under his arm, two rain jackets – one he put on, the other he draped over his arm – he marched out of his house, apprehension in his chest but a void on his face. Frosty air nipped at his skin, slicing through his rain jacket.  _Eren forgot his coat. He’s probably freezing._  He checked outside his house, then Eren’s. Weeds had run rampant there with no one to take care of it.

The sidewalks were vacant of people. The population on the road had diminished as well. Few people wanted to be out in what would likely be the last, vicious fall storm. His small feet and long strides ate up the concrete beneath his feet, the buildings blurring by him.

As his feet came to a halt, lightning lit up the sky, quickly followed by an explosive crack of thunder. The white streaks seemed to strike with every step he took, lighting up everything around him. Thunder was no longer one single cannon blast: it was a bombardment of mortar shells slamming into the earth.

The swings came into view, Eren a second later. He was hunched up on a swing, the same one he had the first day they’d met. His head was pressed into his knees, hands over his head. “Eren!” The head rose up, hands falling away. Another lightning bolt sliced through the air, illuminating the park with its’ bright, ethereal light.

A flinch ran through Eren’s body, visible even from where Levi was. Eren surged up from his swing, body already twisted in Levi’s directions. The steps were slow at first, uncertain. Another flash of lightning changed it all. Suddenly, a body collided with Levi, arms latching onto his wiry frame. “L…  _Levi_ … ple… ease… don’t le… leave me… I… I’m sorry! I d… didn’t… mean to!”

Gray eyes closed in a slow blink, then another, confusion seeping into their cool depths. “What the hell are you talking about? Why the fuck would I leave you after all the shit that’s happened?”

The fingers clutching his jacket suddenly loosened as Eren pulled back to stare at Levi with wide, watery eyes. “W…hat?”

“I don’t know what shit-spewing mouth you got that from, but it’s not true, brat. Why would I leave someone I cared about?” Flashes of lightning and the dim glow of the streetlamps revealed the confusion in both sets of eyes, the only difference being the fear in the eyes that loomed above. Wetness splattered against Levi’s cheek as the first wave of rain began to fall, a weak smattering.

Understanding came with another flash of lightning followed by its’ explosive claps of thunder. Levi knew what it was about: Eren holding that scarf, dredging up memories that had been lurking near the surface in preparation for such an event after that nightmare while they searched for weakness in his walls.

“Idiot, I’m not mad at you for looking in that drawer. It just caught me by surprise. I was embarrassed from crying and wrapped up in thoughts. That’s why I was such an insensitive dick. It’s not your fault, I promise. It was just a bad time to see those things.”

Those wide, innocent eyes blinked owlishly at Levi, shame mixing with relief in their depths. “Whose… were they?”

“Mom’s. That scarf was all I had of her throughout foster care. The other things arrived in a package. But don’t think you fucked shit up. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just fucking embarrassed and surprised.”

It was easy to forget the storm that raged overhead, the rain slowly picked up alongside the wind. Yet they stayed, feet rooted into the grass near the swings. White fingers, pale as the piano keys they played, settled against the tanned flesh of Eren’s cheek. “Idiot.  _My_  idiot.” A chuckle shook his shoulders as he guided Eren down until the wind wasn’t the only air between them.

“Go to prom with me.”

Eyelids flickered over summer green irises, shock mixing with excitement as they spread across his face. “ _Yes_.”

The sky groaned over their heads, letting the rain held in its clutches fall as they pressed closer together, hot breath mingling when they pushed away the distance between them. Fingers clutched at cheeks, holding a titled head tight so Levi could breathe Eren in, a hint of mint on his tongue. A shiver ran through Eren’s body as his fingers twitched against Levi’s hips.

Water dripped onto Levi’s face, a mixture of warm and cold, rain and tears. “Fuck,” he whispered against warm, familiar lips, “I forgot it was going to rain.” Eren only laughed as he slipped the rain jacket on beneath Levi’s umbrella before they bolted home in soaked tennis shoes, cold-numbed fingers overtop as they clutched the umbrella together.

* * *

**November**

Soft blue towel in hand, Levi pressed it against Eren’s still-damp hair, gently massaging the rain away. Eren had a loose, long-sleeved shirt and boxers on, the former a spare of Levi’s father; the latter his because there was nothing that would quite fit Eren. He would blush occasionally, quickly followed by a tug on the plaid green boxers in an effort to cover a little more of his long, sun-kissed legs. 

 _Cute…_  Levi pecked the tip of Eren’s ear. He glanced into the bathroom mirror where Eren stared forward, watching Levi ruffle his hair, before he resumed ruffling the water-darkened hair. His own hair dripped, dampening his shirt, but it could wait.

A twitch pulled the towel to the side, revealing lighter, drier russet strands. Levi pulled the towel away. Chocolate-colored tresses stuck out in every possible direction, even more disheveled than usual. Slender digits stroked the soft locks, pulling them into some sort of temporary order before he handed Eren the towel.

Wordlessly they changed places, at _least_ a finger on each other at all times. They weren’t ready to let each other go. Not yet. Levi leaned back against Eren’s stomach, warmth radiating through the shirt into his upper back. The fluffy cloth fell over Levi’s face, overtaking his vision for a moment before Eren pulled it back to rub the shorter black hair.

A muted hum rumbled in Levi’s throat, the warm, delicate touch lulling him into a state of serenity. Grays flicked up to the mirror, studying Eren as he toweled his hair. The touch from his left hand was so soft it was almost non-existent; like he was favoring it. He nearly missed the wince that twisted Eren’s face. “Something wrong?”

Eren bowed his head toward the crown of Levi’s head, lips sealed. Levi straightened up, eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Are you hurt?”

Eren’s fingers froze on Levi’s head. The color drained from his face. “No.”

“You’re a shitty liar.” Levi grabbed the violinist’s fingers, tugging them so he could see. There was nothing unusual, just his hands, calloused over from his years of playing the violin. Eren suddenly jerked his hands back, pulling his hands away from Levi. They only got as far as his ears.

Levi tilted his head back. Sea greens blinked down at him, shame playing out all over his face. Something was wrong, wrong,  _wrong._  And it had something to do with his arms. Levi twisted Eren’s arms, turning the palms up.  _There_.

A furious red mark glared at Levi from Eren’s left wrist. A small gash marred the soft skin, dried blood caked around it. There was no resistance as he drew Eren’s arm closer, releasing the other one. Some of the blood was still sticky, clinging to Levi’s fingers as they ran over the wound. The placement and shape were clear indicators. “Eren…”

A quiet sniff broke Eren’s silent spell as he buried his head into the towel that still sat on top of Levi’s head. It broke Levi’s heart to touch that gash, to hear Eren be distressed again.  _I caused this_. He pressed a tender kiss to Eren’s wrist, just above the smear of blood.

Drawers rattled their way open as Levi fished around, grabbing a few things before he dropped the towel and tugged Eren up to the sink. His lithe pianist appendages cradled Eren’s hand as he rinsed the blood away with warm, soapy water accompanied by gentle strokes.

Those eyes he’d come to love, like oceans in how they tended to change color, never met Levi’s as he pressed a Band-Aid to the cut. Levi hoisted himself onto the counter then took Eren’s hands into his, drawing Eren in slowly. “What did you do that with?”

“… Rock.”

The word rumbled against Levi’s shoulder, the solitary, normally insignificant word enough to freeze his insides a little more. “Idiot… Eren, be a brat, but don’t be a  _suicidal_  brat. I promise it won’t help. Cutting yourself open is only gonna hurt more in the long run. It’s not worth it. I’ve seen it so many times at foster homes and it only hurt them more. Don’t do that again.  _Ever_.”

“Okay…”

Levi wrapped Eren in his arms, holding him in a loving embrace. He leaned up, lips brushing Eren’s ear lobe as his mind, his  _heart_  drove him into action to do the one thing that came to mind, that made sense of what to do, how to say his message.

_“Well, I know the feeling_   
_Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge_   
_And there ain't no healing_   
_From cutting yourself with the jagged edge_   
_I'm telling you that, it's never that bad_   
_Take it from someone who's been where you're at_   
_Laid out on the floor_   
_And you're not sure you can take this anymore_   
  
_So just give it one more try to a lullaby_   
_And turn this up on the radio_   
_If you can hear me now_   
_I'm reaching out_   
_To let you know that you're not alone_   
_And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell_   
_'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_   
_So just close your eyes_   
_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_   
_Your very own lullaby.”_

The warm body draped against him stirred, shifting as he absorbed the lyrics. Hands that Levi had recently held slid along his back, tightening their intimate embrace on his end. Eren was everywhere, that scent of melons and rain lingering on his skin. Those whispered verses slipped from his mouth, the message within being heard. Levi let a tiny smile turn the corners of his lips up as he kept up the soothing song.

_“Please let me take you_   
_Out of the darkness and into the light_   
_'Cause I have faith in you_   
_That you're gonna make it through another night_   
_Stop thinking about the easy way out_   
_There's no need to go and blow the candle out_   
_Because you're not done_   
_You're far too young_   
_And the best is yet to come_

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby_   
_And turn this up on the radio_   
_If you can hear me now_   
_I'm reaching out_   
_To let you know that you're not alone_   
_And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell_   
_'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_   
_So just close your eyes_   
_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_   
_Your very own lullaby_   
  
_Well, everybody's hit the bottom_   
_Everybody's been forgotten_   
_When everybody's tired of being alone_   
_Yeah, everybody's been abandoned_   
_And left a little empty handed_   
_So if you're out there barely hanging on...”_

* * *

**March**

“You’re sighing an awful lot.”

“Am not.”

“Eren, you’ve sighed at least twenty times in the past ten minutes. Spill it.”

Eren glanced up from his math book to where Armin lay on his bed, an anatomy textbook opened in front of him. Armin had a no-nonsense to his face, one that demanded the truth. With a resigned sigh Eren rolled onto his side, so he could see Armin.

The floor felt good against his hot skin, cool despite the heat that had been turned up to combat the frigid winds of winter. “So?”

Cerulean irises rolled in the white sphere of Armin’s eyes. “So it means that something’s up. You’re frustrated. And no, don’t you dare protest. It’s so visible even a toddler could see it.” Eren glowered at Armin as his mouth shut, protests dying away in his throat. He couldn’t argue with his best friend’s statements. Not this time. “So tell me what’s bothering you.” The musician pursed his lips while he started to sign to his brilliant friend.

_“Don’t you think I should be better by now?”_

“Not necessarily. Some people never recover. Some take years. Some take months. Very few snap right back into the state they previously were in. You’re doing fine Eren, I promise.”

Insecurity played his body like a drum as it hollowed him out then filled him up. It sucked him dry, spreading its poisonous doubts through him like a parasite. He knew Armin saw it. He knew it by the way those sky-blue orbs focused on him, never straying as Eren struggled to squash those feelings of uncertainty and impatience.  _I_ hate  _this_.

“Don’t worry about it Eren. The counselor said you’re making excellent progression. There’s no need to get impatient, okay?” The brunette rolled back over onto his stomach to focus on the much-dreaded math once more, purposely avoiding giving a response. They both knew it. Armin sighed, pointedly audible. “I’m serious, don’t worry about it.”

Eren let out a heavy breath right back, mind and heart weighed down.  _I can’t._

* * *

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**Hey.**   
**Received: 7:00 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**To Armin Arlert:**   
**Hey**   
**Sent: 7:05 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**Levi, I hate to bring this up but I think Eren’s feeling insecure.**   
**Received: 7:06 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**To Armin Arlert:**   
**What the hell makes you think that?**   
**Sent: 7:06 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**Aside from him practically flat-out saying it to me? Well, I can read him well. He practically oozed insecurity.**   
**Received: 7:09 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**To Armin Arlert:**   
**This about what I think it is?**   
**Sent: 7:10 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**Yep.**   
**Received: 7:10 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**To Armin Arlert:**   
**Brat… He shouldn’t be. He’s doing fine**   
**Sent: 7:11 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**That’s what I told him. He’s stubborn. Do you think he’d really listen? No.**   
**Received: 7:12 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**Do you think we need to tell him that he doesn’t need to be insecure?**   
**Received: 7:16 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**Are you still there?**   
**Received: 7:30 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**To Armin Arlert:**   
**Yeah, sorry, I was looking for something. I have an idea. Do you know anyone that plays an instrument?**   
**Sent: 7:32 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**From Armin Arlert:**   
**Jean and I can play the guitar. No drums though. Eren can play the violin and obviously you have the piano. Why?**   
**Received: 7:35 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

**To Armin Arlert:**   
**Meet me at my place afterschool. Bring Jean. Tell Eren that you have something to do. I’ve got an idea for that crazy brat**   
**Received: 7:38 PM, March 16 th, 2014**

* * *

**March**

It wasn’t so much of a party as it was a gathering of a few people with good music playing and some spectacular food – courtesy of Mikasa who refused Eren’s help at every turn. Zoe, Oluo, Petra, Levi, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, and Eren milled around in the backyard, chatting their heads off.

No matter where Eren went he could hear Zoe’s excited babble about some animal she had found or interesting things going on with her python. She was hilarious in an extraordinarily strange, outlandish way.

Initially the crowd had made Eren nervous, stirring up old fears and reactions that had faded away as the party lurched into full swing. One hand held a chilled can of Sprite, the other twisted into the warm fingers he knew so well. Eren swung their hands back and forth, smiling as he sipped his drink. “I’m glad… everyone… looks like… they’re hav… having fun.”

A low laugh-like breath answered him. “I agree. Then again, it could be that they’re having to move and talk to not freeze.”

“Not… that cold!” Levi only chuckled, muted but music to Eren’s ears before he moved in front of Eren, head tilted back so they could look into each other’s eyes. Those thin, pale lips called to Eren, begging to be kissed. Smokey grays glittered with amusement as Levi evaluated his expression, already guessing what Eren was thinking.

“Go join the rest. I have a little surprise for you.” Levi stretched up onto his tiptoes to give Eren a fond peck on the lips before he let go of Eren’s hand. Jade orbs followed Levi as he pulled Armin and Jean away, the three of them disappearing into the house.

The brunette wandered over to Mikasa, who was being subjected to a meet-and-greet with Zoe’s yellow-and-gray scaled python, Phil. Why she had brought him, Eren didn’t have a clue, but it was amusing to watch Mikasa’s face as the thick, coiled body wrapped around her arm, inching toward her head. “Do… you know… where they… went?”

“No clue,” Mikasa murmured, her eyes trained on the snake, “Male things probably. Or maybe the shorty needs some help. I don’t know. They’ll probably be back in a minute though.” Eren threw an arm over her shoulder as he leaned in close, petting the snake on the top of her scaly head. “All My People Go” by Kris Orlowski faded into silence as another song prepared to take its place.

Guitar notes took the song’s place, quick and low. The strangest part was that they sounded so natural; like they weren’t coming from the speaker. Eren turned around, seeking out the origin of the guitar. His breath caught in his throat as he took it in.

Jean, Armin, and Levi stood on the back porch of the Arlert’s abode. A sleek electric guitar was cradled in Jean’s hands. Armin had a guitar in his, one of Gramps’s older but finer ones. Levi stood between the two, a cheap black microphone stand set up before him. Sensual grays focused on Eren’s face as his lips parted.

_“Tonight a candle lights the room,_   
_Tonight it's only me and you,_   
_Your skin like gravity_   
_Is pulling every part of me,_   
_I fall, you and I collide_

_What if I stay forever?_   
_What if there's no goodbye?_   
_Frozen for a moment here in time,_   
_Yeah,_   
_If you tell me the sky is falling,_   
_Or say that the stars collide,_   
_The only thing that matters in my life,_   
_Is you and I tonight_

_Our eyes close the candle burns away,_   
_But I know the fire still remains_   
_This love is all we need_   
_We fit together perfectly,_   
_I fall, you and I collide.”_

The music swelled through the air, growing in strength and volume. Mesmerized eyes full of wonder were trained on Levi as he cradled the microphone. Every verse that soared through the air filled Eren up.  _He knows_. The insecurities that had been building up for several weeks dropped away, replaced by carefree weightlessness that filled Eren up like helium. He was light, free of all those troubles and doubts for the first time in months. It was  _breathtaking_. Eren leaned against Mikasa as he let the music and Levi’s voice carry him away.

_“What if I stay forever?_   
_What if there’s no goodbye?_   
_Frozen for a moment here in time,_   
_Yeah,_   
_If you tell me the sky is falling,_   
_Or say that the stars collide,_   
_The only thing that matters in my life,_   
_Is you and I tonight_

_I wanna see this through_   
_I’m gonna give it all to you_

_Tonight a candle lights the room_   
_Tonight, it’s only me and you, oh_

_What if I stay forever?_   
_What if there’s no goodbye?_   
_Frozen for a moment here in time,_   
_Yeah,_   
_If you tell me the sky is falling,_   
_Or say that the stars collide,_   
_The only thing that matters in my life,_   
_Is you and I tonight_

_Tell me you’ll stay forever_   
_Just you and I tonight_   
_Tell me you’ll stay forever_   
_Just you and I tonight.”_

Dazed, Eren barely noticed when Levi left his impromptu stage to come over as the music faded away. Cool skin brushed against his cheeks as Levi pulled his face down. “Why are you crying?”

Dark brown eyelashes fluttered, the water spilling down his face catching his attention for the first time. Gentle thumbs swiped at his cheeks, brushing the tears away as they trickled down. Eren pressed their foreheads together, wisps of brown and black hair infringing on his vision, but he didn’t care. Not one bit. “Levi, I… love you… so much.”

“I love you too, my crazy idiot.”

* * *

**June**

Was his hair too messy? Bowtie crooked? What about something on his teeth? Orbs of emerald swept the mirror, inspecting his reflection with a nervous, criticizing glare. Fumbling phalanges, too shaky for Eren’s tastes, tugged on the black bowtie in a vain attempt to make it straighter.

The parched desert that seemed to have occupied his mouth refused to let him swallow, but that didn’t stop him from attempting. The mere thought of what he’d be doing in less than an hour rattled his nerves.  _I don’t even know how to dance!_  

If only the fear could be worked out on a punching bag. The fear and nerves had lessened over the year, but for an occasion like this… The nerves actually didn’t embarrass him for the first time in a while. They made him feel like any other guy or girl getting ready for such an important aspect of high school life. Like he was  _normal._  Then there was the matter of people all around, ones that he hadn’t seen in a year. Their eyes would already be on them for their choice of a date, not to mention that the court case had filled the town with talk of Eren.

The brunette sucked a breath down. Green eyes flicked up as the door opened. Mikasa slipped in, Armin right behind her. They both looked good: Mikasa was svelte in her strapless, blood red dress that flared out from beneath the black lace on her hips down to her knees and black, slightly heeled sandals; Armin with a black tuxedo jacket, powder blue undershirt, black bowtie, black slacks, and black dress shoes.

Both had been invited by upperclassmen – Zoe and her friend Moblit. Jean had already decided that he was going to sneak in. They technically didn’t have dates to the prom, not official ones at least.  _Maybe that’s what’s terrifying: the fact that I have a date and they don’t. Oh, that’s a stupid thing to be terrified of. It’s a date. Just any old date. Oh, fuck it; it’s_ not _any other date._

"Eren, are you done straightening that bowtie yet? You’ve been fiddling with it for a few minutes. You need some help?”

Defeated and embarrassed, Eren dropped his hands and glanced at his friends. “Fine.”

“Good,” Mikasa murmured as she brushed his hair back with her fingertips  before she and Armin came to stand beside him before the mirror. Armin was still the shortest, but he was gaining height quickly. Mikasa was an inch or two shorter than Eren now.

Eren found it hard to believe that ten years ago they’d been standing in front of the same mirror, six and seven years old, talking about the futures they wanted to have. Those dreams had changed, those times had faded. Now they were back, changed but still united. Eren couldn’t help but smile, confident and proud of how far they’d come.  _If this was the Mirror of Erised, I don’t know if I’d be seeing anything else. Okay, Mom and Levi would be here too._  

The doorbell rang, the soft chimes echoing through the house until they faded into silence. They all knew what it meant. “Well,” Armin murmured, “That’s our ride. C’mon.”

His hands sought out theirs and he twined their fingers together, the way they had when they were younger and more innocent, more unaware of the dangers that lay ahead. His friends smiled into the mirror before they turned around and walked to the stairs, still hand in hand. Every step only mounted the anticipation. Eren just wanted to leap down the stairs, broken bones be damned.

Three, no, four pairs of shoes came into view as they descended: small white heels, two pairs of glossy, black dress shoes, and one with well-worn, well-loved tennis shoes. Another step. Two pairs of slacks came into view: one a creamy, pristine white, the other black as sin. Three steps. Everything came into view.

His jaw nearly dropped but, it pulled up into a blindingly brilliant display of teeth instead as he took it in. Thousands of images of his boyfriend were seared in his mind, never to be forgotten, but it was the first time Levi had worn something so formal.

The creamy white tux fit him well, not ill-fitting in any way. A silky powder blue vest was beneath, white buttons winking at Eren. A powder blue bowtie hung just below the dip in the white column of Levi’s neck. Hands behind his back, feet shoulder width. He looked  _perfect._  

Just looking at Levi, taking him in, erased the feelings on gawkiness Eren had in his light, almost grass-colored tux with its black edges, white undershirt, and black bowtie. Rainy grays and summer greens locked. The warm palms that clutched his fell away as he let them go, caught on Levi’s line by the hook thoroughly embedded in his heart.

Whispers, giggles, hums, voices. All the noises Armin, Mikasa, Gramps, Zoe, and Moblit made disappeared into the background, forgotten in an instant. “Hi.” Eren wanted to wince at such a greeting, but his numb mind couldn’t think of anything more. Unconsciously his hand stretched out, seeking a cool hand that met him halfway.

“Hey there,” Levi whispered right back. “Oh. I got you something.” The shorter teen pulled his other hand out from behind, something clutched between careful fingers, bringing it to the hand he held.

Light green petals brushed against Eren’s wrist, softer than velvet. Several green roses were bound together into a bracelet –  _a corsage_. One that matched his tuxedo jacket to a tee. Black lace was worked around the roses, accenting each one.

Stunned, Eren clutched Levi’s hand tighter, already smiling. “Green… roses? How?”

“I bought it. It’s amazing, the colors they have. But  _this_  one was the best of all… because it was for you.”

Eren’s free arm slipped around Levi’s shoulders as Levi’s own arm curled around his neck, tugging him down. “Stop growing,” Levi muttered as he stretched up on his toes, minty breath ghosting over Eren’s face. “Bigfoot… and Thumb…elina.”

“We are  _not_  amused,” Levi deadpanned as they inched closer.

“I am…”

Levi closed the minute gap between them, tenderly in a way that made Eren’s knees go a little weak. It ended too soon, but Eren knew more would come soon. Gramps, like any other proud parent or grandparent, insisted on taking dozens of pictures before he let them go into the night. The limo everyone had pitched in to rent idled on the street, awaiting its passengers, a carriage of shadows to deliver them to their long-awaited prom.

* * *

 

**June**

Jean had gotten into the center with no problem. The fact that his mother was working admissions had something to do with it, but no one else had noticed that he had handed over a blank slip of paper instead of a ticket.

Armin grinned as they watched the other students bounce to a fast-paced song the energy in their limbs overflowing into the air where the excitement from the night was tangible. It could have also been because the punch was spiked, probably by one of the football players, but at least the crowd was still acceptable. For the moment.

They clutched chilled bottles of water instead, sipping on the clear liquid as they cooled down after dancing so much. Good-natured quite hung between them, their own bubble of peace amid the lively chaos that surrounded them. “This is better than I thought it’d be,” Jean said, voice a little louder than normal to combat the music.

“Agreed! Although I don’t know why the hell someone would spike the punch. That was just  _rude_.”

Jean laughed as he plucked the empty bottle from Armin’s grasp. “I’ll be back.” His blonde boyfriend spun away, quickly disappearing into the crowd, empty bottles in hand.  _He’s tough on the outside, but soft in the center. And he’s too proud to admit it._  

Cerulean orbs scanned the crowd, searching for familiar faces. Not many from his grade were there, but he still recognized Nanaba and Marco dancing near Zoe, Moblit, Levi, and Eren. Mikasa was chatting with some tiny, tough-looking blonde by the name of Annie.

Oluo, the poor guy, had nearly bitten his tongue off – _again –_ which had Petra dabbing at his face with a fistful of napkins. Everyone he knew looked like they were enjoying themselves. Armin tucked some stray golden strands behind his ear, a satisfied smile growing on his lips.

“Geez blondie, whaddya do to get you and your fuck buddy in here? Blow a couple guys?” The young teen stiffened and slowly turned around. It was a jock from the basketball team, Michael. He’d made Armin do his homework in the Biology Honors class they’d shared. It had been  _hellish_.

There had been a time when other kids would beat Armin up, but Eren and Mikasa would always come in to save the day, shouting at the other kids as they pummeled them into submission. But Eren and Mikasa were nowhere to be seen, not anymore. The only thing Armin was good with were his words. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to start anything, not _here_.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Jean bumped Armin’s shoulder as he stepped past.

“Nothing much, just askin’ your bitch how he managed to get you two in.”

A crack rose above the music as Jean lunged forward, fist connecting with Michael’s nose before Armin could grab his arm. Michael stumbled back, a hot, sticky rush of blood streaming down his face. Jean struck the jock again, a blow to his abdomen. Some of the kids started to notice, crowding around to catch a glimpse.

Michael righted himself and lunged at Jean, fist passing an inch from Jean’s face. The blonde swept the basketball player’s feet out from beneath him with a kick, stepping back with his hands up in a defensive stance recognizable from boxing movies.

“Hey, hey, break it up guys!” One of the people overseeing the prom waved their arms above the growing crowd, fighting to break through. Jean whirled around, eyes bright with fury and the rush of adrenaline. He grabbed Armin’s hand and started pulling him through the crowd before he could quite register what they were doing.

Armin stumbled behind as they stumbled past the ring of the crowd. Friendly faces flashed by: Eren; Levi; Mikasa; Zoe. “Run, run!” Jean laughed over the music. Moments later they hit the double doors, hurtled down the steps, and down the sidewalk, rushing away from the scene of their “crime”.

All the while Armin couldn’t stop laughing, shock and glee bursting through him as they kept running into the cool night, no particular destination in mind.

* * *

 

**June**

The center was decked out in green, gold, white, and black. Tables formed a semi-circle around the dance floor where passionate, throbbing music thrummed through the speakers by the DJ booth. Eren stood on the edge of the floor, a cup of cherry-flavored punch in hand.

His friends had disappeared into the crowd: Zoe, Moblit, Petra, and Oluo were dancing somewhere; Mikasa was mingling with a few friends from her Chemistry class; Armin and Jean had left after the fight; Levi had disappeared for a moment, leaving Eren with the cup of punch and a promise to be back soon.

The red, watery syrup sloshed around in the plastic cup as Eren gazed into its depths as if he was attempting to divine some future. Instead he let the memories of earlier that night wash over him: the heated, electrifying touch on his hips; the ghost of a breath on his lips and neck; the scent of cotton mixed with lavender with a hint of spice to top it off.

He smirked against the rim of his plastic cup as he sipped at the slightly too-sweet mixture within, a sour-ish taste underlying the cherry that he couldn’t quite place.

“Eren.” Digits brushed against his elbow as Levi slide back up to his side. Ten fingers wove together, loose but sure. “Let’s go dance.”

The cup immediately found a place on the closest table as Eren let the small pianist lead him out into the center of the crowd, his stomach barely clenching in nervousness at being packed in with all the other bodies. Months before, he wouldn’t have been able to set foot in the gym. Now he did so with a confidence that he’d worked back with superhuman determination. And it had gotten him  _here_.

The song faded away as another prepared to take its place. Levi’s hand settled onto his hip. Eren’s found Levi’s shoulder. The brunette leaned down until his cheek was against Levi’s cool ear, those silky strands of shadows brushing against his cheek.

“This is for you, so listen close.”

Soft piano notes stirred the air, a slow melody just beginning, already gripping with its gentle start. It was more modern, one Eren didn’t recognize. Their feet started to move, the petite male pressed close initiating their slow sway. A guitar and drum joined in, adding their own notes before two voices filled the air. One from the speakers.  _One right in Eren’s ear._

_“What day is it? And in what month?_   
_This clock never seemed so alive_   
_I can’t keep up and I can’t back down_   
_I’ve been losing so much time_

_‘Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose_   
_And it’s you and me and all of the people_   
_And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”_

Two pairs of feet glided over the wooden floors as the older of the two led them on, crooning quietly into the other’s ear. Chills raced up and down Eren’s spine as Levi serenaded him while they twirled with all the patience and grace in the world. If there had been a spotlight in that center it would have focused on them, outlining them in a golden aura for all to see. Giddy and astounded, Eren clung closer, his mind on top of the world, the rich aroma of cotton and lavender filling him up completely.

_“All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right_   
_I'm tripping on words_   
_You got my head spinning_   
_I don't know where to go from here_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove_   
_And it's you and me and all of the people_   
_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

_Something about you now_   
_I can't quite figure out_   
_Everything she(he) does is beautiful_   
_Everything she(he) does is right_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose_   
_And it's you and me and all of the people_   
_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

_And me and all of the people with nothing to do and nothing to prove_   
_And it's you and me and all of the people_   
_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

_What day is it?_   
_And in what month?_   
_This clock never seemed so alive.”_

* * *

**June**

They piled back into the limo at twelve as the prom drew to a close. Everyone was giggling a bit too much, the spiked punch having been drunk by all except for Armin and Jean. Despite that the atmosphere was sparking with energy, high with elation from the prom.

That certainly explained why Zoe was draped across Moblit, Petra, and Oluo as she sang Weird Al Yankovic tunes at the top of her seemingly infinite lungs. It was enough to make Levi consider taking Moblit’s tie, turn it into a noose, and throttle his best friend. It certainly would have dampened the mood. He let his friend have it though. Prom only happened once a year after all.

Which was why they pulled up at IHop at one in the morning where the music was at just the right volume and where the place was deserted aside from the workers and a few poor saps who worked some shitty hours. The looks they got were full of amusement as they slid into booths and chairs that surrounded several tables that had been pushed together.

“Nothing better than breakfast at midnight!” Petra sang as they situated themselves.

“No, hunting for new subjects to dissect is better!” Moblit clapped a hand over Zoe’s mouth, muffling her giggles. Another burst of laughter bubbled through the group. A waitress jotted down their drinks and orders, leaving them to their own devices.

Warmth enveloped the hand Levi had beneath the table as Eren’s hand crept into his. Stormy grays glanced over to Eren whose eyes were trained on Armin who was weaving some tale involving a tree, a kite, and Mikasa climbing up to fetch it. He looked so content, finally perfectly at ease. Levi twisted their fingers together, their hands fitting together with familiar ease.

“Mikasa managed to get it down, but if you had seen Gramps face! He looked like he was about to blow a fuse when he saw Mikasa up there. It’s amazing he only grounded her for two months.”

“One actually,” Mikasa tacked on with a gentle nudge to Armin’s ribs.

“Same difference,” Jean laughed into his cup.

“Actually, one month is distinctly different from two,” Zoe stabbed at the table with her hand, aiming to get her point across. “You see, months average around four weeks with amounts to twenty-eight days, or six hundred and seventy-two hours. There’s a distinct difference between four weeks and eight weeks, which would be approximately fifty-six days or… hm, thirteen hundred and forty-four hours. Therefore, one month and two months are not the  _same difference_!”

“Zoe, if you don’t shut up  _I’ll_  shut you up and then you can tell the other ghosts about that crap,” Levi deadpanned. The table broke out into laughter at his statement.  _She’s so lucky I’m joking_. Any more death threats were interrupted by their waitress coming back to set their plates in front of them.

Everyone dug in – with varying states of calmness. Zoe started talking around impossibly massive bites of French Toast, nattering about something that Levi didn’t bother to pay attention to as he delicately cut pieces of his pancakes away. Eren had turned into a human vacuum cleaner, inhaling his towering stack of pancakes.

“Slow down, crazy brat. You’re gonna choke at this rate.” Eren snorted, but did manage to slow his pace with a squeeze to Levi’s fingers. All of a sudden Eren stopped, fork freezing in midair before it descended back to the plate. No one but Levi noticed. They were too busy with their food and conversations, still overflowing with energy from prom. “You alright?” Levi whispered into Eren’s ear.

“Listen to… the music.” A familiar song greeted Levi’s ears as he gave his attention to the music instead of the people around him. Guitars met his ears first, then the lyrics. Eren’s grip tightened on Levi’s hand as they listened together.

_“Those three words_   
_Are said too much_   
_They’re not enough_

_If I lay here_   
_If I just lay here_   
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we’re told_   
_Before we get too old_   
_Show me a garden that’s bursting into life_

_Let’s waste time_   
_Chasing cars_   
_Around our heads_

_I need your grace_   
_To remind me_   
_To find my own_

_If I lay here_   
_If I just lay here_   
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we’re told_   
_Before we get too old_   
_Show me a garden that’s bursting into life_

_All that I am_   
_All that I ever was_   
_Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see_

_I don’t know where_   
_Confused about how as well_   
_Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here_   
_If I just lay here_   
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”_

* * *

Eren slipped out of the house with keys in hand, phone in pocket. It was a good day, an _extraordinary_ day. Well, more of night now, but that didn’t make it any different. Day, night, it was of no real importance.

It was hot once more. The sun had baked their city, making everything lethargic except for the plants that thrived in the constant showers they’d been getting. Despite the recent weather the night was clear. There was even a faint breeze that stirred the otherwise motionless, sultry air. Few were out, just the way Eren liked.

Fleet feet carried him down the pale gray concrete of the sidewalk that led him to his destination. A cauldron of excitement and butterflies bubbled in his stomach, urging him to go faster, to sprint along the streets until he reached his journey’s end. He couldn’t stop thinking about that message from earlier, not even when he ducked through the shadows of night he’d once been terrified of.

Eren wasn’t afraid to walk the streets at night, not any more. His body was toned with muscle earned from long hours pummeling the punching bag and taking tae kwon do with Mikasa. He could protect himself now. He was  _willing_  to protect himself, to fight back. He  _could_  fight back.

The entrance he had become well acquainted with appeared soon, a gap in the brick wall across the street. Eren stole across the dead street, straight into the park. Oddly pleasant anxiety bubbled in his stomach, urging him to go faster, faster,  _faster_.

Rustling was all around him as the gentle wind pushed the arch of leaves overhead. Other ambient noises filled the air: a hooting owl; crickets starting up their strange chirping song; small, nocturnal animals darting around.

Eren strode past it all, coming upon his endpoint all too slowly yet far too soon. The swings were there, barren of people yet steadfast in their constant existence. Somehow, someway, it seemed like everything would grow and die around those things as they lasted century after century, never changing.  _That’s so stupid. They’d never last that long_.

The chains were cool beneath his fingers as he sank into the same seat he had so long ago on that fateful night, the night he would always cherish despite what had occurred in the hours before it. The ruts beneath his feet were larger, more worn, but familiar nonetheless. 

It was easy to spend hours on the swings, just watching the world pass by in a strange, lonely peace. He’d done it hundreds, maybe even thousands of times over the years. Lonely evenings and nights spent on those swings, afraid to stay out, but afraid to go home.  _That won’t happen, not anymore_.

“You know, it’s dangerous to be alone in a park at night.”

A smile split across Eren’s face as he glanced up. He stood a few feet away in the pool of white light thrown from a nearby light pole. “You’re late,” he rasped as Levi strolled over, movements deliberately unhurried. Cool hands settled just above Eren’s. For once Eren was the one looking up.

“Brat, I got here right on time and we both know it. You’re just early. Too eager. Not enough patience.” 

 _More like Armin’s house is closer than mine was._ The swing started moving backwards as Levi slowly pushed it. Their feet moved together, taking the swing back until Eren’s feet were stretched out, their heads almost at the same height. Those cool hands found their places against Eren’s cheeks, cradling his face.

“You know…” Levi murmured as he leaned closer, their noses brushing, “I don’t say this a lot. Oh hell, I don’t say much anyway, but this in particular because it’s important. I learned the value of it long ago. But with you, those words are never gonna be enough. Even so…”

Hot, minty air tickled Eren’s face as Levi moved a bit lower, their lips brushing as he breathed the words into Eren, filling him to the brim until his heart felt like it would burst. “Eren Jaeger, I do love you.  _Always_.”

**From Levi Rivaille:**   
**“Now is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”**   
**Meet me at the park. 12 on the dot. Don’t be late**   
**Received: 10:00 PM, July 15 th, 2014**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ladies, gents, those who are defines by no gender, and so on, we've reached the end. Nope, nope, I'm not crying, not at all. Thankfully there are still side stories. Three in fact. So Speak! will live on a little longer. Okay, I can't bear to do this any longer so many thanks to those who read this, kept up with it, loved it, commented, etc. There will be three side stories, as I already states, but there will also be a Soul Eater story, another Attack on Titan, and a few others still in the works. Before I go I must give a million, no, a billion thanks to my beta, Cal. This is our first complete work together and I must say that it was an amazing journey and I can't wait to do it all over again. And things will only get better from here ^^ So many thanks to Cal! Farewell until the next story *SOBS LOUDLY*

**Author's Note:**

> Thank a new and good friend of mine, Calley, that this came to life. She started to talk about it one day and it turned out that we had actually thought up similar (almost identical really) ideas. From that one comment, a discussion was born, and in turn, this story.  
> I've also posted this on fanfiction.net and am in the process of transferring it over to AO3.


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